by C. S Luis
A few students behind me wandered out of the stairwell and into B-lunch, catching the guards' attention. I stood at the entrance of the crowded cafeteria for a few seconds, staring into a mass of faces, none of which I recognized. Finally, and reluctantly, I stepped into the lunch line.
I paid for my lunch and wandered around, trying to pretend I knew where I was going. I found a nice, empty corner of the cafeteria and sank into a book on my Kindle app.
Something moved in the corner of my eye, and I blinked, looking to my left. Tina stretched her arm in the air, waving it back and forth and looking right at me. I felt my face burning red and wanted to disappear. I had a feeling this girl would have stood on the table just to get my attention. She waved me over with smaller gestures now that she knew I'd seen her, and another huge smile surfaced on her tight, distant face, like she wasn't all there. With a sigh, I stood and made my way toward her, where she sat at a table with just a few friends, away from the rest of the student mass.
An exploration of her inner thoughts brought with it a wave of distorted sounds instead of clear ideas of what kind of person she was. A quick glare from her nearly knocked me over, frightening me enough to make me stop. But she smiled again just as quickly, as if nothing had happened, and tilted her head. Warily, I stepped up to the table.
Tina's friends immediately looked up as she introduced us. They all seemed friendly, except for one.
The kid named Sean looked like the class president. He had dark hair, framed glasses, and well-combed locks. His eyes shot up from behind the pages of his Chuck Palahniuk novel. He smiled, putting the book down; it seemed his attention could rarely be diverted from Mr. Palahniuk. He seemed out of place, an intellectual in a cafeteria filled with misfits, quite the opposite of Tina and the other two. He looked like an English gentleman in a sea of high-school idiots.
“Hello,” he said with a musical voice, and I blushed.
Ruben, a skater, had been stuffing a piece of bread into his mouth when I stepped into the picture. He had shaggy golden hair and a delicately structured face; a surprising metal ring pierced his lip. He froze when I looked at him, swallowing the bread already in his mouth.
“That's gross,” said a girl to my left, dressed in black lace and a corset. I couldn't tell if she was ready for a funeral or a heavy-metal concert. She rolled her eyes when Ruben directed his attention towards me and waved.
She didn't seem quite as friendly as the others. Darting her clear blue eyes toward me, she pushed back her black, shoulder-length hair, sizing me up at first glance with a sneer.
“Oh, look, it's Pocahontas… with daisies,” she leered.
The insult wasn't a new one. I took a seat next to Tina, facing Alex and Ruben. “It was my mother's favorite flower,” I admitted, feeling slightly childish both for having worn the daisy pendant around my neck and admitting my reason for it. The Goth girl just rolled her eyes in response.
Ruben and Sean seemed to silently absorb my every word, just like Tina had when I spoke to her in the hall. I wondered if they both knew my parents were deceased. Their rapt attention would make sense if they felt a little sympathetic towards me.
“I think it's lovely,” Ruben said with a smile.
“Daisies have always been one of my favorite flowers,” Tina proudly voiced.
“They're known to represent innocence and purity,” Sean said, curving his lips into a wrinkling smile.
Alex furrowed her brow. “Innocence and purity?” She rolled her eyes at them. “Really?” There long, uncomfortable silence stretched across the table.
“So, what do you guys do during lunch besides eat?” I asked, hoping to break the icy silence.
Alex glared at me, but the others seemed eager to answer my stupid question.
“Talk about other people.” Alex grinned.
I managed an uneasy smirk and figured I had already been one of her victims.
“So, your grandfather is the principal, huh?” she asked.
Sean narrowed his brown eyes, seeming bothered by the sudden turn in conversation. Somehow, I sensed this hadn't been news to them. Who didn't know by now that I was related to Dr. Edwards?
I nodded, hoping to get off the topic, then grabbed my fork and picked at what looked like mashed potatoes.
“So, like, you can do whatever you want?” Alex added.
“I guess,” I managed to say, distracted by what might have been meatloaf on my plate. I looked up and noticed the two assistant principals entering the cafeteria.
Alex looked back and saw them too. “Friends of yours? Looks like your bodyguards are here. And just in time,” she added in a mockingly musical tone.
“Alex,” Tina said firmly, her eyes darting toward the raven-haired Goth girl. She turned to me with a glance that said, Ignore her.
“They're not my bodyguards.” I felt the need to say something, to clear that up, at least. I hoped Mr. Claypool and Mr. Vasquez wouldn't see me, but then they both looked my way and waved. I just about died, wanting to return the smile but dreading the consequences, especially when Alex almost sneered at me.
“You know them?” Alex said. Clearly, I did. Nevertheless, she made me rethink my answer. The other kids at the table all turned to stare at me. Was knowing school officials a big no-no for them?
“No. Not really,” I said and lowered my head.
“How could she? This is her first day,” Tina answered for me. She laughed, oddly reassuring the others. Alex gave her a peculiar stare. Tina seemed strange all around—I could agree with that—like she'd lost a few marbles, and I was glad I wasn't the only one who found her individuality strange.
“We make it a rule to stay away from authority figures when we're skipping,” Alex explained. “I don't trust them. Always trying to get me in trouble. Picking on me because I'm different. So, I'm Goth. My soul is dark.” She grinned. “They just like giving out detention slips. Pick on the Goth girl.”
The others didn't say much of anything. I noticed Sean had resumed reading his book, observing me from behind his framed glasses whenever he had a chance. I thought it odd that he still lost himself in the pages of a hardback book instead of an iPad, like most kids our age.
“They're wasting their time trying to get this place up to code,” Alex added.
She seemed to be the only one talking and the only one who seemed remotely normal, even if she was also a little hostile. Sean was mostly busy with his book. Tina and Ruben silently observed the scene from the other end of the table. They seemed almost robotic in their own skin, looking at the world as if they didn't recognize it and had to be reminded how to act.
“I agree. There are far more important things to worry about,” Sean said with a callous smirk from behind his book. I couldn't help but feel he was talking about something else, but then our eyes met, and he grinned.
“I think the school looks fine the way it is,” Alex continued, glancing around the cafeteria. “It gives the place character. Far more character than some people here.”
Sean slightly repositioned his glasses, narrowing his large eyes as he stared at me and apparently tried to ignore Alex's ranting.
Mr. Claypool and Mr. Vasquez walked up to the front of the cafeteria and stood there. I knew they were keeping an eye on me, even though the thought was ridiculous. But it made me feel safe. They kept glancing at our table, and I sensed they wanted to come by and say hello. But they resisted. I had already won them over, and I'd only smiled at them once.
“Are you guys skipping now?” I asked, not knowing what else to say.
Alex wrinkled her nose at me. “You're not going to tell on us, are you, Pocahontas?” She twisted the pentagram necklace hanging from her neck, furrowing her brow.
“Alex,” Tina hissed in my defense.
“Just asking,” Alex said with a grin, picking at her food. “What the hell is this?” She scowled and lifted a piece of something from her tray. “You should really get your grandfather to do something about the ca
feteria food,” she told me, then dropped her fork again in disgust.
“Don't listen to anything Alex says. She's just being… funny,” Tina said, trying to laugh it off then shooting the Goth girl a glare. Despite everyone else acting annoyed by Alex's comments, for whatever reason, they remained seated like a group of mannequins. The only genuine person here seemed to be the girl insulting me.
“She's the only one skipping,” Sean answered me. “And as for character, she has none. Literature builds character. Far more than the black lace she calls a wardrobe.” He lifted his gaze from his book to smirk at her.
Alex flipped him off. “Fuck you. Everyone skips class. It's a requirement of being a teenager.” Sean didn't respond, concentrating instead on his book. “Whatever. You're just trying to impress Pocahontas.”
Sean blinked, his eyes darkening in a firm frown, but as soon as Alex dropped the argument, he seemed to do the same.
“Her name is Claudia,” Tina corrected.
The table fell silent again; only the sound of other students in the cafeteria kept me from feeling the ugly discomfort of it.
“So, what's the deal with your grandfather, anyway?” Alex asked. It seemed to bring everyone to attention again; the others exchanged glances, then stared at me. I wasn't quite sure what she meant, and yet I knew exactly what she'd asked. Her mind blasted angry distrust and a little jealousy—it was pretty dark in there—but there was also something else I hadn't picked up before. Kindness.
'Stop it,' a voice whispered.
I glanced at each of the others at this table, but no one gave any indication they'd said anything. I always figured my snooping into someone else's mind was going to get me in trouble, but I shook it off.
“What do you mean?” I asked Alex. “I just met him a few days ago.”
“No way!” Ruben yelled, surprising me with his first actual reaction. “You mean you've never met him until now?”
“My parents died…” I said. “That's why I'm here.” I shrugged, and Alex blushed.
“How does that happen?” Ruben said. Sean shot him another glance, and it seemed to both calm and almost silence him.
“Perhaps the real question is why he waited so long to meet you?” Sean added, slowly leaning forward again, smiling, and for a second, I couldn't move. There was something about his eyes; the color swirled in golden sparkles. I must have been seeing things, but the way the specs danced in a mixture of bright blues and purples was mesmerizing.
“You know what I mean, Pocahontas,” Alex said, smiling sheepishly back at me from the pallor of her face. Beneath it, I found two blue eyes staring at me, hidden by the powder of makeup. Why did I feel she hid something even darker? Or was it that she tried to hide herself from that darkness?
I caught a glimmer of shock on her face, and my stomach lurched. There was no way she had read my mind, right?
“Doesn't he strike you as being a little odd?” she continued, closely gauging my reaction. I didn't give her one, trying to remain as blank as I could. “Jessica from English class said she lives across the street from him. She said he's a very strange person. All the neighbors think so. They're scared of him. He makes strange things happen. Cats die, things go missing. Weird thunderstorms out of nowhere. Creepy, huh?”
I realized now she was trying to get to me, and I just stared at her.
“I hate to break it to you, Pocahontas, but you're related to a load of weirdness. Don't tell me you didn't know that.” Then she smacked her lips.
“Strange?” I asked. She smiled. I knew what she meant, remembering the neighbors next door who looked away when my grandfather only tried to be friendly with them. Separated by the gift—that was my problem too. “Strange how?” I continued. “Because he keeps to himself? Maybe this Jessica in English is a total bitch and should mind her own business.”
Sean let out a small laugh, which he concealed with the palm of his hand.
Alex looked at me with wide, surprised eyes, and above us, the cafeteria lights flickered. A light hush settled across the cafeteria, but when the flickering stopped, a mutter of disappointment rose around us.
I took a deep breath; I couldn't lose control here—not in front of them.
When I looked back down at Alex, she still seemed to be examining me, and we stared at each other.
“Well that was interesting…” She smiled.
“Not really,” I said. “I heard it happens a lot… here.”
“That's right,” Tina intervened. “Wasn't it you who said this place is falling apart?” With a gleaming grin aimed at Alex, she stabbed her piece of meatloaf with her fork.
Sean put his book down and removed his glasses, the conversation having apparently sparked his interest.
But Tina had strangely frozen, staring wide-eyed at her tray as if her meatloaf wiggled in front of her eyes and tried to escape. She didn't move until Sean touched her hand, then she blinked and smiled as if nothing happened. I almost didn't notice any of it until a mechanical laugh burst out from her mouth. Only Alex and I stared at her in surprise.
“Okay…” Alex said, rolling her eyes at Tina's odd display.
Sean put on his glasses again. They made him look rather serious and observant. “I personally have no ill feelings towards Dr. Edwards, but I am curious as to why he was absent from your life for so long. That's the part that bothers me.” I found myself unable to answer, and he shrugged, adding, “Well, I'm sure he had his reasons.”
“Did he?” Tina asked. Alex wrinkled her nose, still frowning at the girl who'd acted so strangely just a few moments before.
Sean sat up, setting the book down to lean forward and rest his folded hands on the table. Now he stared at me with his apparently undivided attention, and it made me nauseous.
I forced my lips to move; his stare seemed to demand an explanation I couldn't give.
“How unfair to keep you away from me,” Sean said, but when I blinked, he was once again staring at the pages of his open book.
“What did you say?” I asked.
He looked up at me with a smile. His eyes were very brown now, almost as lifeless as these other kids' expressions had seemed from the beginning. “I said it must have been harder for him to stay away,” Sean answered, then fell back into the pages of his book.
“Why would somebody do that?” asked Ruben.
“I don't know,” I answered, trying to forget what I wrote off as my mind playing tricks on me.
“Well, I don't think I could trust someone like that,” Ruben said. “I mean, how can you? What's he hiding? And what does he want when it's taken him this long to show up in your life? He was never there, then suddenly, boom. I'm your grandfather!”
“That sucks,” Tina said. “Listen, if you ever need anyone to talk to, you can talk to me.” She offered an oddly large smile, her eyes growing surprisingly wide.
“It's nothing like that…” I tried to say. It wasn't at all what they thought. My grandfather was the kindest person I'd ever met. And I wanted to get to know him, but I was afraid I had brought something dark with me into his life. As my gift grew, it seemed so did the darkness around me. I never told my father what I felt or what I had seen. Then again, I'd felt I didn't have to; part of the time, it seemed even he feared me—and was crueler to me because of it. It made me wonder what secrets of his own he'd hidden from me.
“Oh, it isn't?” Alex scoffed. “Ruben's right, and even Miss oddball here has the right idea…” Ruben and Tina both looked over at her with frowns of confusion. “He's a con artist after your money. He has all the right documents and said all the right things. I saw a special on it on MSNBC.”
The others glanced over at her, bewildered and far more annoyed than anything else, until she burst into laughter and swallowed the gum she'd been chewing.
“I'm joking! Oh, come on… I'm just messing around. Dr. Edwards is odd, I'll give him that, but one thing he's not is in desperate need of money. I heard he's loaded. Maybe it's the other wa
y around and you're trying to get his money,” she said, pointing at me.
I wrinkled my nose at her, starting to feel as irritated by her as the others.
“You're not helping,” Sean uttered.
“Well, if not, this might be the best thing that ever happened to you,” Alex said, glancing at me. “Now you can get whatever you want from the old man. He owes you big time. You could probably even get a car out of the whole thing.”
Sean's eyes again found me from behind his book; his tightly pressed lips made me think he was beginning to lose his patience, and I found that hard to imagine. He seemed so calm and composed, unlikely sent over the edge by someone like Alex. I wondered how they'd ever gotten along before I came into the picture.
“I just want to get to know him. He's all I have,” I whispered. Sean's eyes softened in unexpected surprise at my words.
“What? Take advantage of the situation, sister!” Alex laughed.
“Well, what a surprise,” Ruben told her, rolling his eyes.
“I understand how you feel,” Tina said, nodding at me.
“How can you?” Alex asked.
Tina and Ruben frowned at Alex, and Tina stuck out her tongue at the other girl. Then they leaned toward each other, and Ruben whispered, “We need to walk her to class.” They leaned even closer toward me. “Can we walk you to class?”
Sean lifted his eyes from the book. He listened, waiting perhaps to see what I would say.
“I guess,” I said, feeling remarkably uneasy.
“We can accompany you to all your classes, if you'd like,” Sean added. “We're somewhat of a unit now.” A unit? The others happily agreed. “After all, we're all friends now.”
“You don't have to,” I replied. “Really.”
“But that's what friends do,” Tina said.
“They help each other,” Ruben offered.
“We can hang out after school. You must say yes, Claudia,” Tina pleaded. “We can go to the mall, if you like. We can do anything you'd like to do.”
