He nods his head twice before standing up and walking over to the sofa. “I’ll be next door if you need me son, day or night, for whatever you need.’’
I wait for him to close the front door before getting up and locking up after him. Max is out at some party. Some chick texted him when we were twenty minutes away from home inviting him to go and he said yes. Knowing he has taken the back door key, I push the chain across the front door before heading upstairs to bed.
Lying in bed I stare up at the ceiling, watching the reflections that the moon and street lamps are causing. I’ve been in bed for a good half an hour to an hour, mindlessly thinking about everything Kayla. She’s consuming my mind more and more, especially since we first kissed. I crave the taste of her cherry lips, and the smell of the vanilla scented body lotion she must wear.
I’m just about to give up on her texting me back when the light from my phone lights up the bedroom, the screen flashing.
In a rush to hear from her I fall from the bed, my knees banging on the carpeted floor with a thud.
“Fuck!’’ I yelp, getting back up, and slowly this time, grabbing my phone.
Kayla: Soz, went 2 Charlie’s after my dinner with dad. I was 2 excited 2 tell her about our trip to wait until tomorrow. My phone died and only just got back. Is everything ok?
Me: Yeah baby. Did you shower her the pictures? And are you okay? Your dad home?
I wait for what feels like hours after sending her a message back. I hate the thought of her being alone with him in that house, especially when her neighbours would never hear her screaming for help. Just the thought has tremors raking through my body and I have to bite my lips to calm myself down.
Kayla: She begged me 2 show um 2 her, but I sed I wnted it 2 be a surprise ;) Wen do u wnt 2 go get them done? And he’s in bed asleep already. He was snoring away when I walked past. I’m gud, why wouldn’t I be?
Me: We can go Tuesday after school if you like? That way we can get some more of our presentation finished. Just asking, I miss you xx
Kayla: Awe, aint u sweet. Tuesdays cool. I miss you 2 <3 x
Me: Really?
Kayla: Really, really. I thought you’d be asleep by now.
Me: Nah, I’m missing you sleeping next to me.
Kayla: U can sleep Tuesday. Dad will be away for the night again. I think I heard him telling someone on the phone that he was going away 4 a weekend in a few weeks 2. Maybe we can get everyone 2geva around mine 2 watch a movie?
Me: It’s a date. You looking forward to him been gone for the weekend?
When she doesn’t answer right away, and when the three flashing dots don’t appear to show me she’s writing back, I start to panic. It’s just confirmation that it is her dad hurting her. Otherwise she’d answer simply instead of taking so long. I’m about to dial her number after a few more minutes of silence, until my message alerts goes off.
Kayla: Not really. I hate it when he’s away. I don’t like being on my own in the house.
Me: Well, now you never have to be.
Kayla: Promise?
Me: Pinky promise.
Kayla: LOL Pinky promise LOL I’m off to bed. Are you still meeting me at the corner shop in the morning to walk to school?
Me: Yes, I’ll meet you there at 8.15. Night, Baby, and make sure you dream of me ;)
Kayla: Always ;) Night xx
I set my alarm with a grin on my face. Knowing she’s going to be dreaming about me makes me hard as fuck. God, the girl is beyond fucking sexy. I’m not even going to mention her rubbing herself off at the hotel on my leg. Fuck, that shit was hot.
Re-reading the messages again, I’m surprised she’s not happy about her dad going away. It just makes it that more and more confusing. She confuses me. Why wouldn’t she tell me who was hurting her, why is she protecting them? I just don’t get it, it’s not like she has siblings she could get separated from and she’s old enough to move in by herself. There has to be more to it. The feeling I had the first day I saw those bruises on her wrists comes back and I know, deep down, something is brewing and it’s only going to get worse before it gets better.
Although I’ll see her tomorrow, I plan on waiting until Tuesday to get her to talk to me. I need her to know she can trust me no matter what and trust that I’ll do everything in my power to help her. She shouldn’t have to live with this. She shouldn’t have to suffer anymore than she already has.
I just hope my girl is strong enough to withhold the interrogation she’s going to get Tuesday, because there is no way I’m going to take ‘no’ for an answer.
Chapter Seventeen
KAYLA
Yesterday with Myles didn’t feel right, he seemed off, out of sorts and it’s had me worried ever since if he regrets what we did the weekend.
Well what I did.
I don’t want him to regret me, or for him to leave me. Our friendship means more to me than my own freedom from my mother. I’m not going to be able to cope losing him.
He was so quiet, so withdrawn, and distant yesterday I had a hard time not bursting into tears. I just wanted to beg and plead with him to tell me what I had done.
I love him.
I love him so much that yesterday has scared me more than anything I’ve ever experienced. I’ve been going over and over the possibilities of what I could have possibly done, but keep coming up short.
The door knocks startling me and I look at the clock. He’s early. We cancelled getting the pictures done today because he got them done yesterday on his free period. I had science so I let him take my phone with him. He’s picking them up today and said he’d be by at five after he got showered and changed. It’s only four.
Opening the door, I’m surprised to find Maverick on the other side.
“Um, hey,’’ I whisper, surprised to find him here, and if I’m honest, I’m nervous. Has something happened to Myles? Has he sent Maverick to come and dump me?
“Hey, can I come in? I need to talk to you,’’ he says softly and I shake the horrid thoughts from my mind. I don’t even hesitate opening the door, knowing Maverick would never hurt me.
“Is everything okay?’’ I ask, gesturing him to take a seat. I take the chair, curling my feet under me.
“I was hoping you could tell me,’’ he says evasively, looking at me with sad eyes. Maverick is bigger built than the rest of the Carter boys; he’s also the rugged on and the only one that has tattoos.
“I’m sorry. I’m confused,’’ I tell him quietly, feeling my nerves pick up.
“Has Myles ever spoken to you about our past?’’
“Yeah, some if it,’’ I answer, still feeling confused. My hands begin to shake, so I place them under my legs to try and keep them still.
“Well, whatever he said is true, but there’s more. Our dad, he was sick, I mean really sick. He didn’t care what happened to us, whether we were fed or clothed. He didn’t care when he hurt us or if people hurt us, hell, he’d watch with his sick fascination.
“Our mom was just as bad. The boys were too young to remember and I think Mason just blocked it out. I’m not sure. But I remember everything. I’d remember the feel of the fag’s she’d stump out on me, the bite of her nails digging into my skin, and the feel of high heels kicking into my ribs,’’ he finishes calmly, his eyes distant like they’re stuck in the memory.
What he said has hit so close to home. The way my mom would burn me on purpose with an iron when I wouldn’t get the creases out of her clothes, or when she’d kick me after coming home drunk from a night out with her friends. It was never ending and I don’t think I’ll ever forget the pain in those memories.
“I…I don’t know what to say,’’ I tell him honestly, confused as to why he’s telling me all this. A few tears fall free my eyes and I free my hands to swipe them away.
“You don’t need to say anything. I just need you to know that I know what it’s like. I know what it feels like to have the one person that should protect you, love you u
nconditionally, and supposed to be your hero, hurt you.’’
“He told you,’’ I whisper, feeling hurt.
“Don’t be mad at him. I overheard him talking to our Granddad, worried sick. I didn’t hear everything, but I heard the worry, the heartbreak in that kids voice over you. I know its killing him not being able to protect you, and even worse not knowing who is actually hurting.’’
“No one’s…’’
“Don’t lie,’’ he demands taking me off guard. I’m surprised by his bluntness, at how rough his voice is.
“I’m sorry.’’
“Don’t be. When Myles comes round in a bit you need to talk to him. Don’t protect the person who is hurting you because if the roles were reversed they’d kick you in front of a bus. You don’t your dad anything, so talk to Myles. Your old enough to move out, you can come stay with us, whatever you need, but you need to know you’ve got choices,’’ he tells me softly and I snap my head to his, looking him in the eye.
“What? My dad isn’t the one hurting me,’’ I yelp, panic in my voice. Oh, God, they think my dad is the one hurting me. What if they go to the police and accuse him of it? He’d never forgive me, and then he’d find out that someone was hurting me.
This is such a mess.
“I know. I just needed to confirm that it’s your crazy bitch of a mom. Tell him. And don’t go near her. If she bothers you, or shows up, call me, or Myles. We won’t let her hurt you, but Myles needs to know.’’
“But you said… How did you? I don’t understand,’’ I say shocked, my mind jumbled with everything that was just said.
“I knew your dad wouldn’t hurt you. He has come into the bar a few times with business associates and he has praised you up none stop. But Myles thinks he has it figured out because of you living with your dad. You need to put him right, and out of his misery. You also need to help us help you so that she can’t hurt you anymore and if you ever decide that you want to go to the police than we’ll be here to support you.’’
“Why are you doing this for me?’’ I whisper, tears falling from my eyes.
“Because we’re your family,’’ he states, and I look at him just as a sob escapes. He gets up and kneels down in front of the chair, his hands resting on my bent knees. “Don’t cry. You’re not alone and no one will understand more than us about what you’re going through.’’
“Telling someone will make it real, will make the years I suffered all the more painful,’’ I whisper.
“It could also set you free, make you stronger,’’ he tells me softly.
“When I was raped, I walked through the house and sobbed to her, begging her to make the pain stop, but you know all she did? She shoved me away like I was filth, telling me to go get a shower and to stop being dramatic,’’ I sob. “All I wanted was for her to love me, to hold me, and it was in that moment I knew I was everything she thought of me, but then I came back and Myles changed that. He makes me feel clean, worthy and I don’t want that taken away by telling him.’’
Maverick’s jaw is clenched, his hands tightening on my legs and I know he’s reining in his anger.
“He’ll never see you any different. Do you see him differently because of his upbringing?’’
“What? No! I’d never…’’
“Exactly. Have more faith in him, Kayla. You’ll be surprised at the lengths he’ll go to protect you.’’
“I can’t lose him,’’ I sob and Maverick pulls me into his arms, and into his lap as he moves to position himself against the sofa.
“You’re not going to lose him, but if you keep crying you might lose your brother-in-law. He’s due any minute now isn’t he? If he finds us like this he’s going to string up my balls for making you cry. Or worse, he’ll get Max and gang up on me, and the two together I can’t handle.’’
I chuckle wondering what they’ve done to him in the past for him to be worried about them teaming up, but I keep my mouth shut and pull away.
“Thank you,’’ I tell him, wishing he knew how much it means to me that he came to talk to me. I know it’s because he doesn’t want to see his brother hurt, or worse, involved, but for him to come to me and understand is refreshing.
“I didn’t do anything, Kayla. You just needed someone who understood everything your going through and to tell you everything will be okay.’’
“You did more than you’ll ever know,’’ I tell him, giving him a small smile. He gives me a smile back and lifts me up, literally, until he’s standing so that I’m placed in front of him.
Shit, he’s strong.
“I best be going before he comes and punches me for thinking I’m hitting on his girl.’’
His girl!
“He wouldn’t… I’m not…’’ I stutter, blushing.
“You’re his beginning, middle, and end, Kayla. Don’t ever doubt that,’’ he winks before walking over to the door.
I don’t know what to say so I don’t say anything; I just nod my head, feeling flabbergasted.
“See you soon,’’ he tells me before quietly leaving the house, my mind still reeling over what he said.
“See you soon,’’ I whisper, knowing he’s long gone to even hear me.
I don’t know how long I’m standing there staring at the locked door for, but when a loud knock comes, I nearly fall over it startles me that much. I smile shaking my head at how ridiculous I am. I get so lost in my own thoughts sometimes that time escapes me. It’s always been the same. I guess it’s my minds way of protecting itself.
I walk over and open the door and give Myles a small smile when I see it’s him. He returns my smile with his own and butterflies erupt in my belly.
He looks good today. He’s wearing a pair of ratted jeans, with his white t-shirt, and his Vans. I hate that he can wear the simplest of things and still look so freaking good.
“Hey, you okay?’’ Myles speaks, and then I notice he’s waving his hand in front of my face. I blink, gaining back focus and chuckle.
“Sorry, I spaced out.’’
“Checking me out?’’ he chuckles and I blush knowing he’s caught me.
“Shut up. Have you eaten? I have some leftover meatballs in the fridge.’’
“I’m good, babe. Is your dad here?’’ he asks, his teeth gritted together. Now I know what is going through his head, I’m picking up his distaste for my dad. It also explains the million and one questions he asked about him over the weekend.
“No, he’s out for the night, remember? You said you were staying over,’’ I remind him, feeling panicked that this has nothing to do with what Maverick brought up earlier. Maybe he really does want me alone so he can break up with me nicely. Is there even a nice way to break someone’s heart?
“Oh shit, yeah. Sorry. Yeah, I’m still sleeping over,’’ he smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. When he reaches for my hands, I pull them away at the last second. His face lifts to mine, hurt and confusion written across his face.
“What is going on? Are you okay with me? Have I done something? You’ve been really off with me.’’
“WOW! Slow down. Nothing is going on, I promise. I just need to talk to you about something. It’s about Thursday and the marks on your body,’’ he says quietly, not meeting my eyes.
“It is?’’ I ask, half relieved, but half panicked that I’m going to have to talk to him about it.
“Um…why do you seem so pleased about that?’’ he asks.
“I thought you were breaking up with me,’’ I admit sheepishly, feeling my face heat.
“Never,’’ he says, a frown lining his face.
“Good,’’ I smile. “Do you want to go upstairs and talk? I’d feel more comfortable there.’’ My bedroom is my safe haven. I swear, whenever I’m ill, or feeling lonely or whatever, I like to be in my room, with my own person surroundings, and my bed. My dad tried for months to get me to go out more, or to sit downstairs, but then we moved and he stopped trying when he had to work so much. Not that I�
�d have listened to him. I love my room.
We walk up the stairs after I grab us a can of Coke, and take a seat on my bed, pulling the pillows behind us.
“Sooo…’’ I begin when he doesn’t speak.
“I know it’s your dad. I don’t want to push you, I don’t want to force you and I certainly don’t want you to feel suffocated, but I want you to think about going to the police, or social services.’’
“I’m eighteen, Myles. What can social services really do for me?’’ I ask, because I’ve thought about it myself. If only in fantasies, or in my dreams, but the thought has lingered nonetheless.
“He’s been hurting you for a while, Kayla. Did it start when he got custody of you?’’ he asks softly, his fingers running down my hair.
“It’s not my dad, Myles.’’ I pause before continuing. “It’s my mom.’’
“What? Your fucking mother? She… She’s the one that’s been hurting you? Why the fuck did I not see this before?’’ He growls before getting up off the bed and pacing the floor in front of me. I shovel down so I’m sitting on the edge and watch him with wide eyes. Maverick was right. He’s worried and he’s been scared over it all, and it’s my entire fault.
My eyes water, and as much as I want to hide them from him, I can’t seem to take my eyes away from him, watching his muscles tense, his strong, lean legs pace and his handsome face flicker before me with different emotions.
“Please stop,’’ I whisper, my throat choked up.
“I should have known that bitch had something to do with this. When you were attacked, Joan and my Granddad could never understand why your mother went to such lengths to stop you from testifying, why you’re so called mother would let you take what happened like a punishment. They bullied you,’’ he rants and I feel like my heart has stopped beating.
“Please stop talking,’’ I whisper, my hands and body now shaking. I can’t think about that, I can’t go back to that place, to that time. It was horrendous, and no matter how much time I spent in therapy, I’ll never be able to move on from the taunts, the bullies, name calling, or the pranks they so cruelly played on me.
Myles (Carter Brother#3) Page 20
