Faith, Hope & Love

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Faith, Hope & Love Page 10

by Rachel Hanna

“So, listen… Olivia told me I missed your birthday yesterday? Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “It was just a birthday. No big deal.”

  “Well, I do actually have a gift for you. I hope you like it,” he said, pulling a white envelope out if his pocket and handing it to her.

  “What’s this?”

  “Open it.” Brandon was all smiles as he waited for her to read the contents.

  Faith slowly opened the envelope which revealed a letter inside. She immediately recognized the handwriting. Her father.

  “My Dad?”

  “Yep,” Brandon said, his smile growing wider.

  “But I don’t understand. How did you get a letter from my Dad?”

  “Well, I know how it’s been bothering you that he wouldn’t allow contact. So I reached out to a buddy of mine up that way. He knows a guard at the prison, so I wrote him a letter and they…”

  “Are you kidding me right now?” she said, her face turning red from anger.

  “What? Faith, I don’t understand… You’re mad at me?”

  “Of course I’m mad! You went behind my back and contacted my louse of a father without asking me first?”

  “But you would’ve said no.”

  “And that wasn’t a clue that you shouldn’t do that? I told you on the island that I wanted to leave it alone until he reached out to me, if he ever did.”

  “I was only trying to help you, Faith.”

  “I don’t need your help or anyone else’s! I’m a grown woman. What you did was a betrayal of my trust, Brandon.” She stood up, grabbed her purse and moved swiftly to the front door.

  “Faith, I’m sorry. I thought I was doing a good thing…” Brandon said behind her.

  “Thanks for dinner, Brandon. But please, for the love of God, stay out of my personal life, okay?” She slammed the door behind her and walked down the road toward Addy’s.

  “I honestly don’t know what I did wrong, Liv,” Brandon said as he sat with Olivia on his back deck. The waves were particularly hostile today, which went perfectly with his last interaction with Faith. He’d never seen her that angry before.

  “I guess it invaded her privacy. She seems to be hurt by things in her past, so maybe it’s got something to do with that.”

  Brandon hesitated for a moment. “She hasn’t told you why she’s in January Cove, has she?”

  “No. I thought she just moved here for a new start or something. She did tell me about her father being in prison, but that was only recently.”

  “I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but Faith is here to find her birthmother. When her father went to jail, she found out she’d been adopted as a baby.”

  Olivia looked stunned. “Really? Why wouldn’t she mention that?”

  “She just got so invested in HOPE and Amelia that I think she’s procrastinating on the search. It was a dead end. That’s why I contacted her father. I thought maybe he knew more. I don’t think he knows anything else, but I’d hoped they could mend fences a bit too.”

  “Your heart was in the right place. So, her birthmother was from right here in January Cove, huh?”

  “Seems that way. She grew up in Virginia. Not sure how she got all the way up there from this tiny town, though.”

  Olivia was quiet for a moment. “And she couldn’t find any information?”

  “Nope. Just that her birthmother was really young at the time. No other real information.”

  “What’s she going to do now?”

  “Well, before she bit my head off, I helped her do one of those DNA test kits she ordered in the mail. They take awhile to come back with results, though.”

  “Faith’s a great person. I’m sure she’ll cool off soon and forgive you. After all, I think she has a little crush on the dashing Dr. Brandon James.”

  Brandon laughed. “Not even my medical degree could’ve saved me on this one.”

  “Give her time and a little space. She’ll come around. Besides, you’ve got a lot of changes coming up in your own life, right?”

  “Right. And I’ve never been more scared either.”

  Faith sat in her room at Addy’s staring at the letter. She hadn’t read it yet. Couldn’t bring herself to think about what Jim McLemore had written. Did she want an apology? Did she want to know he was okay? She didn’t know what she wanted anymore.

  Tomorrow she’d start her new job at HOPE. She’d been excited about it just twenty-four hours before, but now she didn’t know how to feel about anything in her life, especially Brandon.

  She couldn’t remember a time when she’d been more angry at someone, well maybe except for her father. Still, she felt a little guilty for lashing out at Brandon like she did. He’d done a stupid thing, in her opinion, but he’d done it for her out of the goodness of his heart.

  He had no way of knowing that she was like a scalded dog having read his text messages. And she had been wrong to read them, so who was she to judge him?

  It was all so confusing, but the one thing that was for certain was there was a letter sitting on her desk from the father who’d raised her and loved her. She needed to read it and see if he’d provided any more information on her birthmother.

  She slowly walked across the room and picked it up, bringing it to her nose for a brief second in the hopes that it smelled like her father’s cologne. Instead, it smelled stale and a little bit like hot dogs.

  She opened it, running her fingers across his handwriting. It looked the same as always - small and boxy.

  Dear Faith,

  My God, how I’ve missed you. I’m so sorry I cut off communication with you, but I thought it was best at the time. I didn’t want you to feel obligated to take care of me anymore, Faith. I thought I was making it easier for you, but your friend tells me I tore your heart out.

  Please forgive me.

  I’ve unblocked everything, and I hope you’ll write me back some day. I hear you’re living the beach life and doing great things in January Cove. I know your birthmother would be proud that you’re giving back in her town, and I sure am proud of you too.

  Faith, I wish I knew more about your birthmother, but I don’t. But I have no doubt that your friend cares a lot about you and will help you find the answers you seek.

  I hope you’ll write me back because I long to hear from you, even if it’s just in letter form. I miss you so much, and I hope there’s still a place for me in your life. If not, I’ll understand. You need to do what’s best for you. That’s really all I want.

  Well, I have to go. It’s time to eat lunch, and it’s hot dog day here. If you don’t get first in line, you end up with shriveled up hot dogs which taste worse than they look.

  I love you, my baby girl.

  Dad

  Faith hadn’t realized how hard she was crying until she saw two tears fall onto the page and smudge the ink. He still loved her. She’d been so mad at him all these months that she’d forgotten how much she still loved him too.

  Chapter 10

  Faith sat at her new desk and looked out the window. She felt so official now even though her workload was much the same. At least now there would be a paycheck associated with her hard work.

  Never in her life had she felt so needed as she did at HOPE. She felt like the kids needed her, but also Olivia as she seemed to be struggling with something lately.

  “Lunch?” Olivia said as she handed Faith a bag from the local deli. “Don’t worry. It’s vegan.”

  Faith smiled. “You know me so well.”

  Olivia sat in the chair across from her desk and pulled out her salad. “So, how’s your first day going so far?”

  “Well, I spoke to a couple of the teachers at the school. Maggie and Jose are both improving in their grades since we started the new tutoring program. And I’m planning a special picnic at the park on Elm just after Easter.”

  “Wow! You’ve been busy.”

  “I need to keep busy right now, so that’s a good thing.” Faith took a bite of her san
dwich and closed her eyes. “This is amazing.”

  “Brandon told me what he did.”

  Faith stopped chewing. “And did he tell you I freaked out?”

  “Not in those words… but yes.”

  “It just made me mad that he went behind my back, Liv.”

  “I know it did, Faith, but you know Brandon is a great guy. And he only did it because he was trying to help.”

  “I know.”

  “So, was your father any help?”

  Faith froze. “Any help for what?”

  Olivia’s eyes grew wide. “Oh jeez…”

  “Oh my gosh! He told you? Can that man keep his mouth shut about anything?”

  “Faith, he just wants to help you.”

  “I didn’t want people to know.”

  “Why? We’ve become friends, right?”

  “Of course,” Faith said, feeling bad that Olivia was hurt she hadn’t told her. “I just didn’t want people to pity me.”

  “No one would pity you for being adopted, Faith.”

  “I guess you’re right.”

  “So did your Dad have any other information?” Olivia asked again.

  “No. Not a bit.”

  “I’m sorry. But Brandon said the DNA testing would be back soon. Maybe that will lead to something?”

  “Maybe. I’m trying not to get my hopes up. Besides, I have plenty to keep me busy here.”

  “Are you going to forgive Brandon?”

  Faith sat quietly for a moment. “It’s more than this, Olivia. Can you keep a secret?”

  “Sure.”

  “I think Brandon is moving back to the Middle East. I accidentally saw some messages on his cell phone.”

  “You looked at his text messages?”

  Faith stilled for a moment. How stupid was it to tell her new boss that she spied on someone’s text messages? Duh.

  “Not on purpose. I was looking for the remote to his TV. Anyway, there were notes beside his phone about the Middle East charity he worked with, and then the texts…”

  “But, Faith, it sounds like you don’t know that for certain.” Olivia seemed to know something, or maybe she was just trying to play mediator. Either way, Faith decided it was best not to interrogate her boss on her first day at a new job.

  “Look, I know he’s your friend. And he’s my friend. And I’ll forgive him. But that’s it. I almost let myself get a little too invested in thinking about a future…” Faith purposely trailed off because she didn’t want to admit to too much.

  Thankfully, the ringing phone on her desk cut the conversation short.

  Brandon walked out of the hospital toward the physician’s parking lot. It was a beautiful day with clear blue skies, and he wished he could spend it with Faith. She hadn’t spoken to him in days, and he missed her.

  “Brandon?” Olivia called out from across the parking lot. She caught up to him, winded from running across the hot pavement.

  “Liv? You okay?”

  “I’m fine, but I think you need to tell Faith about your plans.”

  “No way. She’s already mad at me, and if this plan goes off track then…”

  “I know, but she has totally the wrong idea.”

  “What idea does she have?”

  Olivia took in a deep breath and then sighed. “I can’t say. I promised. But I’m afraid it’s going to ruin any chance you have of a future with her.”

  “Well, that’s not helpful at all if you can’t tell me anything.”

  “Look, all I can say is that you need to talk to her. Try to get her to understand why you contacted her father. I think she’ll forgive you for that. But she still has assumptions about other things.”

  “Your vagueness astounds me, Liv.”

  “I’m sorry. She’s my friend, and I just can’t break her confidence.”

  “I understand. Thanks for catching up with me. I think her DNA results will come in this week, so that will give me a reason to meet up with her.”

  Olivia stared at him for a moment. “This week. Really? Wow. Okay. Well, let me know what ya’ll find out, okay?”

  “Will do.”

  Brandon drove away and watched Olivia stand there for a moment before she walked slowly across the parking lot. The women in this town were suddenly acting really squirrelly.

  Faith turned off the lights in her office and grabbed her purse. She was looking forward to a night of Netflix and ice cream, followed by a hot bath and hopefully sweet dreams. As she pulled the door to the office closed behind her, she realized her plans might just get derailed.

  “Brandon, what’re you doing here?”

  He was standing just outside of the office on the sidewalk. Faith had told Olivia to go home early since she had a headache and looked stressed. Now she was stressed too.

  “We need to talk.”

  “Okay. About what?”

  “Care to take a walk with me?”

  “Brandon, I don’t…”

  “Come on. Just to the pier. We can sit on a bench and take in some of that ocean breeze you love so much.”

  She sucked in a deep breath and let it out before nodding. “Let me put my stuff in my car.”

  They walked quietly down the road, the sound of sea gulls and the occasional car the only things disrupting their trip. It was awkward. She really wanted that ice cream.

  When they got to the pier, they both sat down and stared out at the ocean for a few moments. It was a beautiful day, as most days were in January Cove. No storms looming. No puffy white clouds. Just blue ocean touching blue sky.

  “I’m sorry, Faith. I didn’t mean to hurt you or make you angry by contacting your father,” he said as he rubbed his hands together in his lap. “I thought I was helping, but it’s obvious that I didn’t. I hope you can forgive me. Sometimes I get a little overzealous trying to help people I care about.”

  “You care about me?” Faith said, trying not to make eye contact.

  “More than you realize.” Her heart was starting to pound. No no no! She couldn’t get reeled in. He was leaving. She would never ask him to stay for her. People needed him across the world, and she’d never stand in his way.

  “I forgive you, Brandon. I know you were trying to help. And honestly, it did help.”

  He turned slightly to face her. “Really? How?”

  “Well, he didn’t know anything about my birthmother, unfortunately. But he said he missed me, and he wanted to hear from me. I’m planning to write him a letter soon… when I’m ready.”

  “Oh, Faith, that’s great. I’m so happy for you,” he said, touching her knee. Faith moved her leg slightly, just enough that his hand fell away. Brandon cleared his throat.

  “Sorry.”

  “Look, Brandon, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. And I want to be friends. But right now everything feels kind of weird between us. I don’t know how to fix that. I don’t even know if it can be fixed,” she said, still trying not to look at him. Because if she looked at him, she might want to kiss him. And then her heart would be broken when he left. Oh, who was she kidding? Her heart was going to be broken no matter what. The story of her life.

  “I know I did something wrong, Faith, but you seem upset about something else. Please, just tell me what it is.”

  Her gut churned. Should she be honest and tell him about reading the texts? Or should she just let him go on thinking it was the letter to her father that broke up their promising relationship?

  “I know you’re leaving.”

  Brandon cocked his head. “What?”

  “I accidentally saw the notepad at your house about the Middle East charity. And then your phone dinged, and I saw some texts.”

  “You read my texts?” He sounded irritated, but not angry.

  “Not on purpose. Well, the first time it wasn’t on purpose. The second time was definitely on purpose.”

  “Faith, I don’t think you understand…”

  She put her hand up. “I do understand, Brandon. I k
now that place and those people mean everything to you, and I would never stand in the way…”

  “But, it’s not what you…”

  “Just tell me the date.”

  “What date?”

  “The date you’re leaving.”

  Brandon sat for a moment and looked like he was pondering something. “Two weeks. It’s tentative, but yes my life is going to change big time in about two weeks.”

  Faith sucked in a breath through her nose and blew it slowly out of her mouth. It was the one yoga trick that she still used. Downward dog always gave her a headache.

  “I want you to know that I appreciate your friendship. It really helped me make January Cove my home. And I want the best for you. I know you’ll make a huge difference in a lot of lives.” She was trying to be the bigger person, but she really wanted to fall to the ground, grab his leg and beg him not to go. Not her finest moment.

  “Faith, I really think I need to explain…”

  “Please don’t. Why did you want to see me? Was it just to apologize?”

  He pulled an envelope out of his shirt pocket and unfolded it.

  “Oh no. The last time you handed me an envelope, it didn’t work out so well,” she said.

  Brandon laughed. “This one you already knew about. It’s the DNA results.”

  Faith’s eyes widened. “Really? What does it say?”

  “I haven’t opened it. I thought you’d like to do the honors.”

  He handed her the envelope but she pushed it away. “Please, you open it. I wouldn’t know what I was reading anyway.”

  Brandon ripped the envelope open and pulled the paper out, carefully unfolding it. As his eyes scanned the contents, Faith watched him intently. He was a gorgeous man. She sure would miss looking at him.

  “Faith?”

  “Huh?”

  “Why are you staring at me?” he asked, a crooked smile playing on his lips.

  “Sorry. I was thinking about dinner. I might have a salad.”

  “Alrighty… Anyway, these results are helpful, I think. No connection with anyone who looks to be your birthmother. But, there’s someone on here who might be a distant aunt or great aunt.”

  “Really? So how do we connect that person to my birthmother?”

 

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