by Tony C. Skye
The head cheerleader begins walking. The other members follow her lead. Julianna has a strong desire to laugh, but she refrains. Caroline is performing wonderfully. Unfortunately, the same things cannot be said about the other three.
Tamara is beginning to look like a complete loss. And with this loss, Jennifer will be tougher to approach. If Tamara withdraws, Jennifer almost certainly will follow suit. Rebecca will be even tougher than Jennifer. She resides on her own planet – the planet of Becca. But her cousin, Caroline, seems to be a sure win.
Tamara walks side by side with her limping bff, Jennifer. They follow Caroline and Rebecca. Julianna travels in the rear. She is the only one in the group with no cheerleading outfit.
Upon entry into the school, the fours cheerleaders turn left, Julianna follows them. Rebecca, Caroline, and Tamara make their way towards the gymnasium; whereas, Jennifer takes a detour into the girl’s restroom. Julianna passes the restroom door and walks over to her locker. She opens it, and retrieves a book for her first period History III class. When she closes the locker door, she grabs her phone and begins texting.
Ding.
Julianna looks down to read her friend Amy’s response. She grins. Placing the phone into her backpack, Julianna heads for the restroom and enters. She spots Jennifer’s California tan legs in the far stall. It’s not that her legs are that much different than most of the girls in California. They’re not. It is the wrap around her foot which gives her such a distinctive quality.
Julianna quietly walks over and hops her buttocks onto the six-sink countertop to her right. She waits.
Jennifer lets out a breath which Julianna can plainly hear. The woman on the counter turns her left hand over and examines her manicure. Another breath exhales from the stall. Julianna glances over and watches. After a clumsy rustling within the stall, Julianna hears the toilet flush. The stall unlocks and Jennifer steps out. She briefly pauses whenever her brown eyes make contact with Julianna. But to keep up normalcy, Jennifer quickly moves forward and begins walking. She heads over to the counter to wash her hands.
“What’s up?”, Jennifer questions while placing her hands under the automatic soap dispenser.
Julianna hops down off of the counter, “I just wanted to remind you that I haven’t forgot about your promise to me.”
Jennifer lathers her hands together while attempting to steady the heavy cocaine-induced rushes coursing through her body. She looks at the girl watching her in the mirror.
“Class is about to start.”
“Oh - I didn’t mean right now,” Julianna says, “I have a pop quiz in a sec. I just didn’t want you running home today without fulfilling your word to me.”
Julianna’s voice sounds synthetic as the words swim through Jennifer’s ringing ears. The cheerleader laughs.
“I take that as a yes, then?”
Jennifer smirks with a nod, “Yep.”
Ring - ring.
“I guess that’s my cue for the history test,” Julianna says while referencing the five-minute warning bell.
“Good luck,” Jennifer answers.
Julianna looks at Jennifer’s hands while the cheerleader steadily lathers.
Her green eyes finds Jennifer’s eyes within the mirror, “You must have gotten really dirty in there.”
“Oh - um...I kinda have a thing about bacteria,” Jennifer lies.
“Me, too,” Julianna says, “I find that anything harmful to the body should be removed immediately. Otherwise, we are just asking for a horrible death.”
“Um - okay.” Jennifer watches Julianna as she places her hands under the auto faucet. Warm water begins pouring. She isn’t sure if it is the cocaine or what, but she swears Julianna’s green eyes just flashed over with a swirling blackness for a split second.
“I’ll see you at the rally,” Julianna says light-heartedly while turning towards the door. She closes the distance and opens the restroom door.
“I’ll save you a seat,” Jennifer calls out as Julianna disappears into the hallway. She turns and looks at her reflection in the mirror. She smirks. A moment later, she laughs.
* * *
Julianna impatiently watches the clock on the wall. No matter how many times she looks at it, the second-hand mocks her with its stupid ticking. The hour and minute hand conveys that it is indeed nine-thirty a.m.
The young woman rolls her eyes as the teacher continues her rambling. This woman talks about the Isaac Newton Uncertainty Principle as though it is the discovery of life on a distant planet somewhere. Julianna tilts her head in thought.
Planet Becca perhaps?
She grins.
“Attention,” the class speaker system calls out as it comes to life, “All students need to report to the gymnasium for today’s assembly.”
Julianna hears the closing of textbooks with the rustling of paper.
“Class is dismissed,” the teacher declares, “I will see you all on Monday.”
Students begin filing out of the room. Julianna follows their lead and makes her way to her locker. She dumps off her physics book and backpack. She retrieves a small black leather zip pouch and her phone. The pouch’s length could easily hold a set of pens and is deep enough to carry some makeup if a girl so desired. She slips the phone and pouch into her shoulder bag – a cheap knock off of a Tory Burch. She padlocks her locker, and makes her way to the gymnasium.
Julianna stops at the front entrance. There are easily a thousand or more people in here. She looks to where she sat yesterday. Jennifer is holding up a hand and waving at her. She nods and heads over there.
“There’s a bunch of guys,” Julianna says while taking a seat to Jennifer’s left.
“They’re part of the squad,” Jennifer explains, “Yesterday was all about readying my replacement.”
“Oh.”
Julianna takes a quick glance at Jennifer’s brown eyes. They are no longer dilated like they were before first period. It seems Julianna’s warning about Jennifer’s promise has issued a temporary sobriety. This was the outcome she was hoping for.
Julianna shifts her focus to the right. The S.V.C. is gathering in front of the locker and shower room. Caroline is among them. Her face is completely void of any marks.
“Trouble in paradise?”, Jennifer’s watchful eye has picked up on her bff’s one-hundred eighty degree turn.
Julianna looks at Jennifer. She smiles sadly.
“As long as she’s happy, I can handle it. She deserves it.”
“Hmm,” Jennifer verbally contemplates, “Just like that?”
“Love is not forceful. It does not stalk and prey. Love knows when to let go.”
“It sounds good. Good luck with that.”
Jennifer’s sarcasm is not lost on Julianna.
“Wishing for something to be different when it will never be changed is a foolish thing to do,” Julianna explains, “I cannot allow myself to self-destruct because I’m unable to change something that’s out of my control.”
“Damn girl,” Jennifer answers in order to mentally push away Julianna’s message that is dissecting her like some lab frog, “If I was a lesbo, I’d be all over you right now.”
“Relax, Mandie,” Jennifer notices the girl’s apparent discomfort, “To each their own.”
“I still like guys,” Julianna defends.
“Sure you do. Keep telling yourself that and let me know how it ends up.”
Jennifer motions towards Tamara with a nod of her head, “Just like my bff over there. She’s doing the exact same thing right now.”
Jennifer looks at the girl to her left, “It’s called denial.”
“Sounds like you know what you’re talking about,” Julianna verbally begins to push the door open.
“Yep,” Jennifer answers while looking at her right foot, “You could say that.”
She looks back at Julianna, “For the record, I think she’s the one that’s messing up. When she finally wakes up, it will be too late. I can see it coming
a mile away.”
“In a weird way,” Jennifer continues, “I truly believe that you’re the second half of her.”
The cheerleader pauses before finishing, “Both of you are freaks.”
Julianna sits speechless with her mouth partially open.
Jennifer holds up her palms in a defensive nature, “Hey, it is what it is. She hits and you obviously like it.”
Jennifer lowers her hands, “You two are the definition of freak. Like I said, you’re the other half of her. I think you’re made for each other and that’s coming from someone who had a serious issue with the idea of her bff going all lesbo.”
“Thanks?”
“Heh.”
“Woot!”, the S.V.C begin yelling as they rush into the middle of the gym.
“Ready!”, Rebecca yells out whenever they line up, “Go!”
Julianna smiles as the song Farther Away begins playing over the p.a. system. She believes Amy will get a kick out of hearing about this one.
“You two can’t avoid talking,” Jennifer interrupts Julianna’s thoughts, “A rift won’t work if you plan on hanging around us.”
Julianna nods. She looks at Jennifer.
“Did you love him?”
Jennifer’s head retreats, “Who?”
“Your brother.”
“That’s a stupid question, Mandie.”
“Did he love you?”
“What the hell, Mandie?”
“You owe me, remember?”
“Not if it’s this.”
“Anything was our deal.”
Jennifer glares.
“Did he love you?”
“Why would that even matter to you?”
“Because it matters to you.”
Jennifer looks away while shaking her head in frustration. Julianna remains silent. It takes a few moments for Jennifer to calm down enough to look at the girl on her left.
“My brother loved me, Mandie.”
“Did he protect you?”
“Why are you doing this?”, Jennifer’s fuse reignites.
“Did he hurt you?”
“No,” Jennifer snaps while pointing her finger at Julianna, “And don’t you ever say that again.”
“So he would have done anything to protect you, then?”
“Yes, Mandie – I’m done with this.”
“Last question, I promise.”
Jennifer glares.
“Would he have ever done anything to selfishly place your life in danger?”
“In case you haven’t figured it out, he wasn’t like that,” Jennifer answers with eyes that reflect her growing fury, “He would never have done anything to hurt me.”
Julianna reaches into her purse and pulls out a black leather pouch. She holds out the pouch, “Thanks for your honesty. I know it must have been really hard.”
Jennifer looks at the pouch, “What’s this?”
“Open it.”
Jennifer gives a warning glare before taking the pouch within her hands. She unzips the zipper and sees a folded note. She takes the note, opens it, and begins reading:
“Why are you killing yourself?”
“What is this, Mandie?”
“Keep going,” Julianna instructs while watching Tamara perform a backflip.
Jennifer reaches into the pouch and takes hold of a black velvet bag. She feels something familiar, but reasons there is no way it can be what her mind is telling her it is. She lifts the velvet bag up and peers inside. Her eyes widen. She notices gold writing on the side of the syringe and maneuvers the object the best she can without pulling it out.
Jennifer scowls as she reads the words:
“Danny Hammond”
“Break!”, the S.V.C. squad yell in unison. They run over to the bench down in front of Jennifer and Julianna. The opening of the assembly is over. Now it’s time for jock and coach introductions.
“Whatcha got there?”, Tamara breathlessly questions as she points to the black velvet bag in Jennifer’s hand. Jennifer looks up before shoving it back into the pouch. She pulls on the zipper.
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Sor-ry,” Tamara mocks while turning to take a seat next to the squad.
Jennifer leans over and speaks quietly; yet her words are very pronounced, “You suck.”
“If you ever need any help,” Julianna ignores her threatening words, “My number is in there, too.”
“You’re the last person I’d ever call,” Jennifer answers venomously. She stands up and limps her way out of the gym. With her, she carries a black leather bag.
Tamara sees her bff enter into the gymnasium’s locker room. She turns and looks questioningly at Julianna. The girl with red side bangs silently lips the word restroom and follows up with a smile. Tamara darts her gaze away from Julianna’s green stare. In doing so, she realizes something odd about the girl’s face. The cheerleader forces herself to make eye contact again. Julianna leans forward.
“I’m a fast healer. It’s all about the vitamins,” Julianna says. She sits back while looking forward. Some guy with a jersey number is being introduced by his coach. Out of her right peripheral, however, she sees the doubt that Tamara is currently experiencing. Julianna must muster up all of her strength to fight back the giggles begging to be released.
She closes her eyes and concentrates on the cheerleader inside of the locker room area.
Come on, Jenn. You can do this.
Jennifer limps her way into the locker room and leans against the door. She is, finally, able to release her stubborn tears from her eyes. Her pain turns into anger – a familiar companion.
“How does she know?”, Jennifer questions the empty room around here, “How does she freakin’ know?!”
The cheerleader throws the black leather pouch across the room – hitting a stack of towels. She glares.
“I need a buzz,” Jennifer coaches. She heads into the girl’s shower area and reaches into her purse. She pulls out her injection kit and opens it. As she looks at her needle, images from a velvet bag recreate themselves within her mind – Danny Hammond.
“What am I doing?”, Jennifer questions the brother who is no longer with her. She stares at the kit within her hand, “You’d kick my butt if you were here. You would never agree to this.”
Jennifer begins crying as she closes the kit. She leans against the shower wall – her back slowly sliding her buttocks towards the damp floor. As her body makes contact with the shower floor, Jennifer sobs within her new reality.
It takes nearly twenty minutes for her to regain enough composure to stand on her weakened legs. The cheerleader leaves the shower area and finds the stack of towels she hit. She looks down and picks up the leather pouch.
She unzips it and replaces her own kit-syringe with the one Julianna gave her, “If I get high again, I’ll have to go through you to do it.”
As she shoves everything into her purse, Jennifer envisions her brother slapping a syringe from her hands. He looks at her within his confidence and says, “Come on, Jenn. You can do this.”
Jennifer sighs – a small spark of hope is seeded within in her mind.
* * *
“The S.V.C. would like to thank all of you for coming today!”, Rebecca yells loud enough for the student body to hear her. She turns and claps.
“Give it up! Here’s your future S.V.C.!”
Rebecca walks towards the bench – the junior varsity squad all begin their routine.
When Rebecca reaches the bench, the S.V.C. stand and marches single-file to the left side of the gym. They ready themselves to join in with the junior varsity squad towards the ending of their routine.
“Here.”
Julianna startles as a black leather bag is placed near her face. She takes it and looks at Jennifer. The girl’s eyes have makeup to cover the pinkness around them. But she still couldn’t hide the puffiness.
“I put your phone number in my phone, now what?”
Julianna stands and mot
ions her head towards the front door, “Come on, I want to show you something.”
“I can’t leave,” Jennifer answers with reference to the school’s policy on squad attendance.
“It’s been taken care of – class attendance and all. You have a free day.”
“And how did you pull that off?”
“If you can find the strength to do what you’re doing, then I can explain everything to you. But not here. I just need you to trust me for a little while longer.”
Julianna holds out her hand, “If I disappoint you, you can spank me.”
Jennifer’s nose crinkles as she gently shoves away the offered hand, “I don’t think so.”
She motions her head towards the gymnasium’s exit, “Let’s go…freak.”
Julianna grins.
* * *
Julianna leads Jennifer to the parking lot. She stops by Jennifer’s Bentley and informs her that she will be back in a second. Upon returning, Julianna has a black duffle bag in her left hand.
“What’s that for?”
“I need three hours with no questions,” Julianna informs, “Did he believe in Jesus?”
“What?”
“Did your brother believe in Jesus? Did he serve Him?”
“Uh - yeah, he believed, but he didn’t serve Him. My brother liked to party and have fun.”
“We need to go to your house and I need three hours of your complete trust – no funny business or anything – promise.”
“You’re not making any sense,” Jennifer counters, “Why do you need to go to my house?”
“Trust, Jennifer. I need you to do that, please. When my three hours are up, I’ll explain everything.”
Jennifer glances to the third row and looks at Mandie’s brown truck. She reaches into her purse and tosses the girl her car keys, “You’re driving. My foot is killing me.”
