by Mark Clodi
‘Such a waste.’ thought Nancy, ‘Someone needs to make zombies stop making zombies or we are going to run into a serious food shortage.’
Nancy and her gang hid in the shadows and watched for a little while as the people, men, Nancy thought, shot the zombies milling about in the parking lot and empty streets. Veronica’s report had been accurate. There were three men atop the gas station laughing and drinking beer as if they were on a camping trip in the mountains. She watched as a zombie stumbled into the parking lot attracted to the energy the men gave off like a moth to a flame.
Nancy gave the girls orders to back her up if she looked like she needed help, emphasizing her commands with a mental nudge as well, then she crept into hearing range. Surprisingly this was farther out than Nancy would have thought, so her hearing was improving too? Or the men were just loud braggarts…
“Hey Jake, who’s turn is it?”
“Um, I think George’s.”
“Bullshit, he got the last one, the fat nurse bitch.”
“Come on Tony, you’ve got him by over a hundred fucking points” Jake insisted.
“I still say it’s bullshit, fucking bullshit. You had better start writing this shit down.” Tony shot back and took a long swig of beer which ended with him tossing the empty can over the edge of the roof.
“Hey maaaan, don’t get your panties in a ruffle. You’ll get your turn.” George said. He moved over to the edge of the roof and took aim on the approaching zombie with his hunting rifle. When he had finally lined up the shot he paused for a long moment as though something was bothering him. The bullet sailed over the left shoulder of the zombie.
“Shit!”
“Minus five points dick hole. My turn.” Tony insisted.
“Naaa man, I get one more shot, that’s the rules baby, you got to O-bide by the rules man. Not to worry, I think smoke got in my eye.” George said removing hand rolled cigarette from his mouth which he flicked over the edge of the roof.
“I’ll stick something in your eye.” Tony mumbled.
“You would too. Fucker.” George’s second shot was true and split the zombies head in two. “Give me fifteen big ones Jake.”
“Ten asshole, your first one missed.” Jake corrected.
“Fuuuck, what ever man. What-eva.” George grabbed a beer, returned to his lawn chair and started rolling another cigarette.
The men had several hunting rifles and hand guns. When they weren’t shooting zombies they argued, drank beer and talked about bitches. Nancy watched five more zombies get disposed of in the same manner as the first. She was formulating a plan on how to get the men down from their secure perch when Veronica touched her shoulder.
Veronica sneaked up to Nancy and pointed across the parking lot, “Look” she whispered. There was a dark figure leaning against a car. “He’s been there since we arrived.” Even with the bright energy of the gas station illuminating the parking lot Nancy could see that this man was void of energy. Other zombies looked dull and almost blue black in color, the living were a swirling pattern of bright energy that were easy to spot. 'Another stupid zombie, great. Or rather maybe a more intelligent one, if he were not in the streets milling about he probably was a second tier zombie already.' thought Nancy.
“Yeah, thanks V, now if you don’t mind we’ve got work to do.” Another shot rang out and another zombie fell to the ground, fifteen points for Jake.
Nancy decided to wait until it was once again George’s turn before she moved from her hiding place. She straightened her dress and started towards the gas station.
Nancy was surprised at how close she got to the men before Jake took notice of her. She could hear them arguing over “who had fucked the fattest chick.”
“Shit George, your turn and you only get five points because she’s so damn close that even your mah-ther could nail her.”
“Who nailed George’s mom?” Tony joked.
“Hey boys don’t sh…” was all Nancy managed to get out before a bullet ripped through her left thigh. The impact knocked her backwards where she fell over a body.
Nancy screamed then yelled, “Help! I can’t believe you shot me! It hurts! It hurts bad!”
“Aahh shut it. You’re ugly and I don’t need an ugly bitch telling me what to do. I was married to one for thirteen years.” Tony called down to her.
“Heeey man, it was my turn”
Tony turned to George, “You know what? I’m getting pretty damn sick of this ‘my turn’ shit” and threw his nearly full can of Coors Light at him. It flew way over his head a fell to the ground below harmlessly.
“Dude, your aim sucks.” George said and three men broke out in laughter.
Wiping tears from his eyes, Jake said “Aw crap man that was funny, finish her off T.”
“Hey, hold on man, she ain’t a zombie, maybe we should help her?” George interrupted.
“Shit, now you really remind me of my wife. ‘Help her!’ 'Help her!' What a dumb ass! She didn’t bleed right, she had that brownish shit in her like all the others, that makes her one of them. So you are not only as ugly as my ex, but you are just as stupid as her too.” Tony said before reloading his rifle.
“Fuck you asshole, I know you couldn’t see anything it is too goddamn dark, you shot a woman man, a living woman!” said George.
Tony looked through the sight on the rifle and was surprised when he couldn’t locate Nancy. “Shit. Yeah, you’re so smart if she was a woman where the fuck is she? She was zombie man, all the way.” This got George and Jake’s attention. All three men leaned over the edge of the roof craning their necks trying to spot her.
While the guys had been busy laughing Nancy used the distraction and limped her way to one of the gas pumps. The metal roof that had once protected customers from the weather while they pumped gas now hid her from the men above. She removed one of the nozzles and flipped the switch to “On”. When Nancy pulled the handle gas began spilling onto the ground. Her plan was to smoke the guys out of their hiding place and now all she needed was a light. She had searched several of the bodies without any luck when she spotted the smoke still drifting from the cigarette George had tossed from the roof.
“You guys smell that?” Jake asked.
Nancy watched as the entire gas station parking lot burst into flames. Either the beers or the hand rolled cigarettes caused George to forget about using the ladder they had up on the roof because he chose to jump rather than lowering it in his haste to get away from the flames that were spreading into the gas station below the men. He crumpled to the ground in pain when he landed, holding his left ankle. Tony and Jake, on the other hand, lowered the ladder and began climbing down.
Tony was still halfway down and Jake had only put one foot on the pavement when an explosion ripped through the gas station. The impact of the blast threw both men into the air and after a very short flight they landed hard and lay still, their bodies smoking from where their clothing had caught fire.
The intense heat from the fire made Nancy nearly blind. She could barely make out a faint form of energy crawling away from the gas station. It was George and he was trying to escape. Nancy ran after him and when she got close enough she grabbed him by his broken ankle causing him to howl in pain.
“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” She tightened her grip on his leg and he screamed again.
“Two for you and one for me. It’s only fair sweet cheeks.”
Startled Nancy looked up to see a black figure on the other side of George. The same black figure that Veronica had pointed out to her across the parking lot. He was a large man well over six feet tall and probably pushing close to two hundred and fifty pounds. He wore black steel toe boots, dirt and oil stained jeans, and a gray mechanic style work shirt that had the name “Dave” sewn on the left breast pocket in red letters. Nancy wondered if it was the reflection from the flames or perhaps his last meal that gave the tips of his long blond hair a pinkish tint.
“Fuck off, Dave.”
she snarled back, emphasizing his name. Nancy began pulling George by his broken ankle causing another scream to erupt from his lips. Her progress was cut short when Dave reached down and grabbed George by his wrist suspending him mid air between the two of them. George let out another yell of agony.
“Come on pumpkin pie, I’ve had my eye on these guys for two days now, I deserve a little something for my efforts don’t you think?”
Irritated she turned back to face Dave. “I don’t give a crap how long you watched them. The bottom line is this: I got them down and they are mine, all three of them. You had better let go unless you want that beautiful blond head of yours split in two by her.” Nancy finished pointing to Veronica who had taken her standard place at her misstress's side.
“Such violence. Don’t you think we’ve all seen too much violence the last couple of days? Let’s be civilized. We each get one and then maybe we all head off into the shadows and have some fun, just the three of us.” he smiled.
“Not a chance in hell. V” Nancy gave the nod for Veronica to put an end to the discussion. She raised her blade but stopped when Dave revealed a sawed off double barrel shot gun that he had been hiding behind his right leg. The gun was now pointed at her master’s head.
“I know what you are thinking pop tart, ‘is it loaded?’, ‘can his dead fingers accurately pull the trigger while holding the meat with his right hand? Is he a lefty?’ Lets not find out ok? It is a sawed off shot gun after all, I don't need to be too accurate at this range.”
Nancy continued their gruesome tug-o-war for a few more seconds staring into his eyes searching for some sign of a bluff before she released her grip dropping George to the ground.
“See you soon Dave.” Nancy warned before she turned and limped away.
To Vernica Dave said, “I like her. But me and you could have so much more fun.”
“It doesn’t work that way. If you don’t know that by now you are as stupid as you look.” replied Nancy.
“How many chickas you got in your little gang? I saw what, three? Come to think about it, I might have to get me my own little harem. Sure you don’t want do be my leading lady sugar plum?”
The look on Veronica’s face told him her answer. Dave shrugged and walked away pulling George behind him. The back of his shirt read “Big Dave’s Custom Cycles”.
“So, he’s a biker. I dated a biker once.” she watched as he paused to blow her a kiss before he dragged George’s screaming body into the night, “He was an asshole too.”
Nancy and the girls gathered up the unconscious Tony and Jake, they were half burned and more than half dead, but they made a satisfying meal for the girls as they retreated back into suburbia.
Chapter 38
Max was feeling better, he woke up in what looked like a doctor’s examining room and not a very up to date or modern one at that, it had a, well, 'shabby' look about it. The magazines were months old, the walls were not really dirty so much as stained with dirt and the place had an underlying, unpleasant odor to it. The window, set high upon the wall was going gray, indicating the sun was probably going down, as the office was also hot. Max struggled to sit up and stopped immediately, his stomach hurt, he gingerly lifted the blanket covering him and saw his mid section had a bandage wrapped completely around it, white and pristine and it looked professional. Otherwise he was nude. 'Crap.' he thought, he did not see his clothing anywhere in the office. Twisting to the side to try and get himself up on one elbow was painful, but less so than attempting a sit up. An IV dangled from his left arm, he left it in. Funny in movies the first thing people do when they wake up in this situation is pull the IV out and go running around looking for trouble. Max did not feel so robust as to pull his own IV out, and running around butt naked in a world full of flesh eating zombies was about as stupid a thing that Max had ever thought of. He sat up, almost feeling like he was going to vomit, then just sat there. He was not sure how long he remained there sitting before there was a brief knock on the door and a nurse came into the room in a brusque manner.
“Welcome back Max! You shouldn’t have sat up, here get back down, no really you might tear the stitches by twisting around or being really active. My name is Beth and I understand, if I have the stories straight I have you to thank for our rescue from the hordes of zombies in the parking lot. So thanks!” With that, before Max could stop her she leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. It could have been more than a modest kiss, but Max back away from it.
“Wha-what? You got the wrong guy! I passed out in the car I had very little to do with your rescue! Do you kiss all your patients?”
“Oh, no? First, no I don’t ‘kiss all my patients’ only the cute ones who can’t fight back and second if you had not been shot your friends would never have come here and never would have saved our lives, so yes you are the cause for my liberation. Let me check these stitches okay?” Beth slowly peeled up the side of the bandage and checked underneath it, removing some stained gauze checking the stitches in the remaining natural light. “Wanna guess how many the doctor put in? C’mon take a guess.”
“Ah, thirty?” ventured Max
“Oh right on the nose! No, just kidding, he put in sixty five. You are very lucky the bullet was really more of a graze, it had to have hit you from the side and tore across the front of your abdomen. You have a hero scar there, one to tell your grandkids about. Still it was a mess and some of the muscles were bruised and torn, it is going to be weeks or months before you are fully healed. Nope you didn’t tear any stitches out by sitting up, lucky you as I know the doctor would not want to waste any more anesthesia on you, we are just a clinic not a hospital so he had to kind of ‘make due’ anyway. Still you came out okay. Your friends are okay, too, Tom has a sprained shoulder and Jane has a pretty badly bruised ankle. Steve came through everything without a scratch on him, the lucky bugger!”
“Jane?” Max’s mind was a little foggy still.
“Yeah Jane! You call her Stewart for some damn reason.”
“Her badge, ‘Officer Stewart’, that’s all.” Max shrugged, then winced in pain.
“Ooh you poor boy let me give you something for the pain real quick.” Beth administered a drug into Max’s IV line and within seconds was feeling no pain. Beth continued, “Well the doctor is going to want to see you, he is trying to save that kid Jacob’s life and not having much luck at it, but he will be along shortly. Why not sit there and rest for awhile longer?”
Max drifted in and out of sleep and woke with a doctor standing over him, the window was dark and the room was lit only from the hallway. The man was older, probably near retirement and his coat was just as shabby as the office they were in.
“Max are you awake? Okay? C’mon lets sit you up here.” and he assisted Max into a sitting position, “I don’t recommend you do that on your own for a few days yet okay? Get help to lay down and stand up otherwise you might pull the stitches out. Here”, he came up with several small boxes of what looked like medicine, “are a bunch of anti-biotics, you have to take them four times a day, every six hours one tablet if you can, as close to six hours apart as you can get, okay? I know it may be a pain in the ass, but better that than an infection, I have the feeling hospitals and medical treatment have just taken a major kick to the ball sack. You feeling okay?”
Max nodded and said, “Yeah considering, I am still a little groggy though. Beth gave me pain medicine.”
The doctor nodded, “Yeah, probably too much too, but you needed a nap more than you needed to be up and about. Your friends want to come in and talk to you too, they went out to the Men’s store and picked you up some new clothing. I will send them in.”
Steve came in first holding a bag and smiling, but looking a bit worried in Max’s eyes, “You alright Max?” Max nodded yes and Steve went on, “Look I brought you some new duds!” with that he pulled out some size forty six boxers and modeled them in front of his crotch, they were about twelve sizes, well okay at least ten sizes too
big for Max but Steve went on, “See I figure they won’t rub up against your wound this way, if they are extra large like, plus you have been packing on a few pounds since the spring, so I wanted to make sure I got something that fit you okay.”
“Asshole.” Max said with a grin on his face. Steve went on to describe what had happened in the rest of the melee and how they met their new friends in the parking lot. Max had only hazy memories of what had happened and appreciated being filled in on everything. Soon enough Nurse Beth was at the door to usher Steve out, Stewart limped in next and she handed Max his cell phone, no messages and it still appeared to be working.
“Your lucky day sport we found a men's store and a phone charger for your phone.” She dangled a cord in her other hand in front of him, then put the phone down beside him and the cord down on the bag of clothing Steve had left. Gingerly she took him in a quick embrace.
“I am glad you made it okay Max, I was so fucking scared man. I couldn’t tell if the bullet had entered or just skimmed off. It looked like a graze to me, but I am not a doctor, in fact he was not even sure until he looked at the x-rays, no abdominal puncture you lucky son of a bitch. Plus you will have a great scar to show your grandkids.”
“So I've been told. I think I would rather just show my grandkids a nice scar less belly and tell them about how I was smart enough not to get shot.” replied Max.
Stewart chuckled and said, “Yeah, I hear you Max, I am glad you are going to be okay.”
Nurse Beth again made an appearance the door and cleared her throat. Stewart said, “Well visiting hours are pretty short here, you need to rest until morning and Tom still wants to talk to you.”
Tom came in next his arm in a sling, the first thing he said was, “Max I am so sorry! We should not have gone to my place.”
