by J. A. Hunter
Spirited
By J.A. Hunter
Preface
Growing up, my fears evolved. From a fear of the dark- to fear of bugs and crawly things- to my fear of dying, I faced them all…but one.
I was looking my last fear in the face but I was surprisingly at ease. The choice was mine and I chose love over life.
He told me I wouldn't feel anything- wouldn't even see it coming. Everything would just turn dark- I hoped he was right.
All my life my parents had been my heroes- giving selflessly and sacrificing. It was my turn to pay it forward. They promised me that I would do great things when I grew up- told me I was going to live a long and happy life full of successes. I wouldn't know if that were true. My death had a date, a time, and the minutes had already passed.
As I stood in the dark cemetery, I felt the wind blow harder. I was never afraid of the wind, but it had new meaning- It brought death. A chill crawled up my spine, causing me to wrap my arms around myself in the last embrace I would ever feel- I just wished it was his.
I heard the leaves of the oak trees blow violently telling me it was time. I could see the end approaching- hopping from one tree to the next.
Suddenly there was silence. The leaves continued to blow but the sound ended, I was deafened by fear. I closed my eyes and took in my final breath- I wished one last time that it wouldn't hurt.
One
I could feel my blankets warming from the morning sun blasting through my window. It was a calming way to wake up and the reason I chose the room facing east. The entire summer I was gently woken by the sun. This morning was different- I didn't have time to bask in the glow and enjoy my freshly warmed blankets. I had to get ready for another year of school.
My eyes fluttered open and I sighed deeply at the thought of homework, class schedules and the pothole littered bus ride every morning. I was promised a car when I turn 18, which was only a couple months away but it felt like years. I had already planned which streets I would take to get to school to make it a smooth ride. But wishing wouldn't get me to school.
I looked at the picture on my nightstand of me and my little sister. It always gave me the courage I needed to get out of bed. Unfortunately the memories of the day we lost her often followed. Memories that wouldn't fade easily as the scar across my leg also kept them close. I knew no matter what I had to face, it would never be harder than that day.
I shuffled my feet to the bathroom and turned the water on in the shower. I stared at myself in the mirror, inspecting every curve of my face for blemishes or lines. Last year I was a new junior with a new pimple that everyone noticed. I couldn't hide it- it was so big it should have been carrying my backpack for me. I was relieved to see this year would be different.
As soon as the mirror disappeared behind the steam I got in the shower. I always turned the hot water on as high as it could go. I loved the burning prickly feeling on my skin. But since my parents usually had their shower first, it never lasted long. I learned how to keep my showers short before the water turned cold.
I could hear them downstairs as I got dressed-my favorite green t-shirt and jeans. Green always made my red hair brighter and matched my pale green eyes.
I could hear my mother's laugh as I left my room- it was one of a kind. Some found it annoying, but I grew up with it, so to me it was familiar and calming. But I was happy I didn't inherit it. My dad loved it, I believe it is the reason he married her in the first place. He loved how he could make her laugh hysterically with such little effort- maybe it's a male pride thing.
"Good morning honey" my mother smiled as I entered the kitchen.
"Good morning baby girl" my dad smiled as well.
"Good morning" I mumbled the words on my way to the coffee pot.
I could remember the day I started drinking coffee and the backlash I got for taking the last cup. I probably should have planned for it so they could make extra but I was young and curious. You spend your childhood waking up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and you want to find out what the fuss was about. It took a week of experimentation to find the perfect ratio of coffee, cream, and sugar.
"Are you excited to start the year?" My dad asked as he sipped from his mug.
"Kind of, I think I would be more excited if I had a car" I shot my best innocent look at him.
"I'm sure you would be, and in a couple more months you can find out" he smirked teasingly.
"I know, I know, it’s the bus until then" I sighed disappointed.
"Is the bus really that bad?" My mother chimed in.
"No, it's worse"
"Would you rather I give you a ride?" My dad offered, knowing I would decline.
"No thanks, I have a popularity problem as it is, no offense"
"None taken, I don't need your approval to know I'm cool" he laughed.
I spent the rest of the morning in silence, devouring my coffee. Normally I would have had breakfast but my stomach was in knots and I didn't think I could hold it down. I was nervous to see everyone again, to return to my unsavory social standard.
I spent the entire summer with Heather and Alex. After 7 years they finally decided to start dating halfway through vacation. Unfortunately I felt like a 3rd wheel and stayed home reading the rest of the summer.
"Looks like someone finally bought the house next door" My dad commented as we all walked out of the house.
"It's about time. That place has been empty for a long time" my mother added.
The bright green moving truck took up most of the street. Large moving men disappeared in the back and reappeared with their arms full of boxes. A young girl played solo in the front yard, pulling a dirty little doll behind her. I couldn't spot her parents, but I was certain they were within eyesight of the child. I was also sure I would eventually meet them as I watched the little girl staring at me wide-eyed and smiling. She seemed friendly and I could tell she was the type that would linger around.
I turned away and started to the bus stop as my parents left for work. It was nice being able to spend the mornings together. Since the accident my dad took a new job at a local bank, which gave him more time at home. It was less money than the law firm he was working for before, but my mother and I were happy to trade our lavish spending for more time with him. I still had a couple hours alone after school before they got home- I enjoyed the time to myself.
I stopped at the corner of the street, let out a large annoyed sigh, and looked at the group of freshman and sophomores waiting at the bus stop. I must have been the only senior that would be riding the bus to school. It already felt like it was going to be a long year.
Before I could step off the curb toward the group of children a small convertible came to a screeching stop in front of me.
"Hey Chickie" Heather yelled from the driver's seat.
"Hi Ally" Alex smiled as he opened the passenger door and stepped out.
"Need a ride?" Heather laughed.
"When did you get this?' I inquired as I slid in behind Alex's seat.
"Me and Alex pooled our money together. We had to start our senior year right."
"Except I never get to drive" Alex chuckled as he kissed Heather's cheek.
"That's because you can't ride a bike, let alone drive a car." Heather joked back.
"The state of North Carolina disagrees" He bowed his chest proudly.
"We both know you paid off the driving instructor" Heather laughed as she put the car in gear and spun the tires.
"So what's new Ally?" She directed her attention to me.
"I have new neighbors" I commented.
"Oh, wow, anyone interesting move in?"
She asked like she was interested, but I knew she was trying to find out if there was a boy my age. She always teased me about not dating
. The last boyfriend I had was in middle school. We went out for 2 days before I caught him eating lunch with another girl in our class. I was tossed aside for a cupcake a day from some middle school trollop handing out her baked goods to anyone who wanted them.
"No, I just saw a little girl in the yard. No cute boys"
"That's ok, maybe you'll see Cory when we get to school" Heather smirked mischievously.
"Cory? Why would I want to see Cory?" I acted confused, even though I knew he liked me.
"What's wrong with Cory?" She interrogated.
"Nothing really…he is just kind of a jock." My nose scrunched.
"And? What's wrong with jocks?" Alex asked offended. I nearly forgot he played for the school soccer team.
"Nothing, sorry, I didn't mean anything by it. Cory is just…the classic jock. You know what I mean…rude with no plans for the future except to play sports." I frowned at the thought of dating someone who was always sweaty and conceited.
"Personally I love watching Alex play, it always gets me in the mood to make-out" Heather laughed as she looked Alex up and down.
"I don't think I am really used to you two being together yet." I laughed.
"Oh! Quiet! I love this song!" Alex demanded as he turned the radio up, stopping our conversation.
The ride to school was pleasant. Heather avoided all the potholes, the sun and breeze kept us comfortable and I didn't have to step foot on the big yellow bus.
As we pulled into the parking lot I watched all the students gather in front of the school to reunite with each other. It happened every year in the same way. Whoever got there first would reserve a corner of the courtyard for everyone to gather into. The entire school was littered with little cliques of friends.
I would have had to do the same thing to wait for Heather and Alex if she didn't pick me up. They were my only real friends. I had acquaintances that I would say hello to but never really spent time outside of school with. I preferred it that way. In a world of everyone knowing everything you do, I wanted to stay as far under the radar as I could. I didn't even have a Facebook page and if I did, nobody would want to be on it.
I checked my schedule against Heather and Alex's. For the most part we had different classes except for gym class and drama with Heather and geometry with Alex. We didn't even have the same lunch period.
"Looks like we won't be seeing each other much" I frowned.
"Seems that way, but at least we have a couple of classes together" Heather tried to make me feel better.
"I can always get kicked out of classes so they change my schedule" Alex joked.
"You'd better not. I don't want you kicked off the soccer team" Heather scolded him.
"It's ok, we can always hang out after school" I offered.
The first bell rang and we went our separate ways. My first period class was writing. I signed up for it as an easy A. English and creative writing were always my strong points and I even had a story published when I was a freshman.
I knew the teacher, Mr. Marenco. When I had him for English 1, I had a small crush on him, along with most of the girls in the class. He was younger than many of the teachers in our school so we were able to relate to him easier.
The crush was apparently gone as I sat in the class wishing it would end. Looking at the clock every few seconds made it go by even slower. I got lost in my thoughts as he discussed the class syllabus and rules for using laptops on the school network. Eventually the bell rang and brought me back to reality.
My next class was drama with Heather. It was an elective we both decided to take- another easy A. We were determined to make our senior year as carefree as possible.
Sometimes we talked about college and where we would like to go, but that was often replaced with shopping and boys.
The rest of the day was monotonous as all the teachers did their best to pound the rules into our heads. The same process and procedures were made apparently clear. By the end of the day I could recite every bit of information.
As I made my way to the parking lot Heather and Alex were already there, kissing against their car. I slowed my walk to a shuffle to give them a little more time.
"Ally!" my hair stood on the back of my neck at the sound of his voice.
"Hey Cory" I gave a halfhearted smile.
"I thought I was going to go through the day without seeing you" he ran up and pulled me into him in an awkward hug.
"Nice to see you too" I lied.
"So listen, some of us are getting together this weekend to celebrate the start of our senior year. My parents will be out of town so it will be at my place. Why don't you and your friends stop by?" He smiled largely. "I could use a pretty girl on my arm." He added.
His eyes burned through me as he looked me up and down. He didn't even try to hide his perverted stare.
"I'll ask them and get back to you" I lied again. "I have to get going, they're waiting for me"
I tried to walk away before he could grab me again but I wasn't fast enough. He pulled me by my shoulders into his chest and hugged me again- the smell of sweat and too much cologne burned my nose.
"I hope you make it, I love seeing you" He whispered in my ear, making the hairs on my neck dance again.
"We'll see"
"What was that all about?" Heather laughed as I walked up to the car.
"Beats me" I cringed.
"That boy has it hard for you" She teased.
"I doubt it; I'm just another girl he hasn't been with yet"
I didn't say much during the car ride home. I just enjoyed the crisp bite in the air as the afternoon sun started to burn off. Asheville always had the most beautiful nights. The air would cool, the breeze would rustle the leaves and all the artists would come out and enjoy the natural beauty. It was a haven for creative minds. If you didn't paint or draw, you played an instrument or started a co-op.
We had a high rate of tourism, especially in the fall when the leaves changed to orange and red. The small community attracted campers, hippies, and free thinkers. There was never a shortage of events or causes you could join to stay active.
We also had a large homeless population, which was the subject of many debates. But even the homeless were happy in Asheville and I never felt unsafe walking downtown at night.
As we pulled into my driveway I noticed the moving truck was gone. The front yard of the new neighbor's house was littered in empty boxes. I knew they would stay there until the next morning when the recycling truck would come by.
"Same time tomorrow morning?" Heather asked.
"Sure, but can you pick me up here instead of at the bus stop?" I teased.
"Sure. See you then." She popped her car into reverse and let it drift out of my driveway. I stayed and watched until she was out of sight.
Before I could get my key into the front door I was interrupted by a small voice.
"Were those your friends?" She asked innocently as she picked at the matted hair of her doll.
"Yes they were" I answered politely.
"My name is Katie Archer, what's yours?" She smiled brightly as though she rehearsed it all day.
"I'm Ally. It's nice to meet you" I extended my hand to shake hers.
"We moved in today"
"I know, I saw you this morning"
"I like my new bedroom, it's pink" She babbled on.
"I like pink too." I tried to play along but something inside me kept screaming to run inside.
"My brother says it's a princess room cause I'm a princess." She gloated as she rocked on her heels.
"Oh, you have a brother?"
"Mhm, he is older than me but we are best friends." She giggled cutely. I could see how much she admired him.
"I haven't met him yet." I commented.
"He's shy. But I told him he needs to make friends instead of going in the woods alone all the time."
"He likes to hike in the woods?"
"Yeah, sometimes he lets me come, I like watching the squirrels run
around-they're funny" She laughed with a wide smile, showing her lost baby teeth.
"I have to go now" She continued as I heard her name being called from her house. "It was nice meeting you Ally. Maybe we can play sometime."
"I'd like that. It was nice meeting you too Katie"
I watched as she frolicked toward her house. Sometimes I wished I could still be a child, innocent and carefree. I envied her in that way.
Katie reminded me of my sister Nina and how young she was. She was always carefree and smiling. Even as a baby she rarely fussed. She had the kind of presence that made everyone in the room just feel better.
I began thinking about how I would never see her grow up- never see what kind of woman she would be. I always wanted to pass down the knowledge of growing up. I wanted to help her with boys and her first date. I wanted to help her pick out outfits and finish her homework. So many things many big sisters take for granted I would never have with her.
I tried to think of something else and began to imagine Katie's brother. I told Heather there was nobody interesting living next door, but I could be wrong. By the way Katie talked about him, he must be nice.
I laid my backpack on the floor of the atrium and went to the kitchen for something to drink. The curtains above the sink were wide open and I could see Katie in her backyard playing with her doll. She was so engulfed in conversation with the stuffed baby that she didn't notice me. I ducked away before she looked up.
I heard Katie laughing loudly as I closed the fridge and snuck another peek. A young man stood behind the neighbor's fence, watching as Katie danced around with her dolly. Just as intently as he watched her, I started watching him.
