by J. A. Hunter
"And you didn't go to school that year?"
"No, I was needed to help. But it worked out for the best, I get to be in class with you." He flirted.
"Very smooth." I giggled back.
I watched the stars through the window as Cory navigated the curvy roads into my neighborhood. The sky was always so clear you can spend hours counting the twinkling lights. I would lay on the lawn with Nina and just stare at the sky, waiting for shooting stars. We would see who could point one out first and keep score. Nina won most of the time.
"Here we are." Cory announced as he stopped in front of my house.
"I had a really great time tonight." I commented.
"You sound surprised."
"Well to be honest, I am. I didn't know what to expect."
"Well I hope you don't think I'm such a bad guy anymore."
"Absolutely not. Just the opposite actually." I smiled.
I looked into his eyes. It was the first time in a while I looked without trying to find the dead stare of a specter. His deep brown eyes had a surreal shine. I didn't even notice him leaning toward me until his lips touched mine. My lips naturally followed the movement of his as our tongues reached out to one another. I could still taste the sweet tea on his breath as he kissed me harder. It took a moment to realize what I was doing.
"Wait. I can't" I pulled back.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"Nothing, I just got out of a relationship. I don't think I'm ready for this. I'm sorry." I apologized and leapt from the car.
I didn't look back until I was in the house. Through the small window of the door I could see Cory drive off confused. I instantly felt bad. I knew the poem was for me and yet I hurt him again. For someone who was actually human, I felt like a monster.
I dropped my bag by the door and ran up to my room. As I entered I saw Reed sitting by the window.
"How long have you been there?" I asked.
"Long enough." His voice was distraught.
"Did you have a good time?" He continued.
"Yes, it was fine." I mumbled, staring at the morose look on his face.
"I'm glad. I'll leave you to sleep."
"Wait!" I tried to demand, but it was too late- he was gone.
I cursed irony as the tables were turned. Just as Sarah kissed Reed, Cory kissed me, and Reed was the one who was hurting now. A very small part of me felt justified, but the largest part of me felt like I should be chasing Reed to the manor to apologize. I suddenly understood how he felt, how it wasn't his fault Sarah kissed him and how I overreacted. There was a lot to talk about and a lot of forgiveness we both needed to offer one another.
That night I tried to think of anything else except the kiss, but it wouldn't leave my thoughts. The feeling of his lips against mine, soft but powerful, made me yearn for another. But it made me yearn for Reed's kiss. I could never imagine how it would feel to press my lips to his. If Cory's kiss could make my head spin, Reed's would cause me to melt instantly within his arms. The same thought that I was wishing for also reminded me that I may never get it.
But that could be why I wanted it so badly.
Nine
I stayed in bed until the last possible minute. I knew what the day had in store for me. I had to hide what happened last night from Heather, confront Cory about the kiss and then wish Reed to me so we could work out everything that had happened- in that order.
My morning shower didn't offer any refreshment, my morning coffee couldn't perk me up if it were made from pure adrenaline, and I knew I couldn't get advice from my parents. I was alone and unaided. I didn't even bother primping. I went back to my ponytail, t-shirt and jeans.
I let out a large sigh as Heather's convertible rounded the corner and screeched to a stop in the driveway. Alex wasn't with her, which was a bad sign. I wasn't prepared for girl talk.
"Hey Ally."
"Hi. Where's Alex?"
"Tutoring in the school library."
"You're idea?" I laughed.
"You know it. So how was last night?" Her smile was huge and her fingertips tapped the steering wheel in anticipation.
"It was fine."
"Just fine?"
"Yeah, we met, we studied, and he dropped me off."
"You're a horrible liar!" She snapped.
"Ok fine, he kissed me, which was all."
"Oh my God! How was it? Is he a good kisser?" She perked up even more.
"It was good. But it was a mistake and it won't happen again."
"Damn it Ally, why not? What is so wrong with Cory?" I could see her patience fading.
"There's nothing wrong with him. I'm just not able to date anyone right now."
"Why not? Is it that other guy? I thought that wasn't going to work out."
"It's not, I mean, It might now. I don't know anymore." I started to feel my eyes swelling.
"Oh Ally, I'm sorry, don't cry. I didn't know you were that serious about him."
"Me neither, but I can't be without him."
"Then don't be. You can make it work." She tried to console me.
"You don't understand. There is so much in our way."
"Tell me what it is, let me understand."
"There isn't enough time right now and I wouldn't even know where to start."
"Ok. Just know I'm here for you if you need me. Always!" She smiled again.
She did make me feel better. Her advice wasn't always bad. I could make it work with Reed, I would just have to sacrifice so much to do it. Unless we were able to find a way to bring him back to the living, I would spend my life untouched and in love with a ghost.
"Are you excited about your birthday tomorrow?" Heather changed the subject.
"A little bit. My parents haven't really mentioned it lately."
"You're still getting a car right? Cause I'm getting tired of being your chauffer." She joked.
"I think I am. I won't know until tomorrow."
With everything that was going on, I had completely forgot about my birthday and the freedom of the open road. I started to feel excited again when I imagined never waiting for another bus or counting on friends for rides.
When we reached the school parking lot I knew Cory would be looking for me. I had a couple of choices, I could seek him out and explain things, or I could avoid him until he cornered me. As my 18th birthday was coming up, I chose the adult thing to do and started looking for him. Since he was looking for me as well it wasn't hard to find him.
"Hi Ally."
"Hi Cory, can we talk?" I asked.
"Sure, come on." He led me to an empty table in the courtyard.
"I just wanted to explain about last night. It had nothing to do with you at all."
"I know. It's the older guy right?"
"Is it that obvious?"
"What was obvious was when you kissed me back." He pointed out.
"I know, it was unfair of me. I don't know what came over me. I'm not normally that kind of girl. I've just been so confused lately and I shouldn't have used you like that."
"Used me? You didn't use me." He laughed.
"I feel like I did."
"I kissed you first. I made the move."
"I know, but…"
"No buts. You know how I feel about you. I just want you to know that I will never give up on you. The second the other guy fucks up, I will be there." He stood up and walked away, glancing back with the malevolent smirk I didn't miss the night before.
Heather caught up with me and we walked to our lockers. I couldn’t help but feel bad for Cory. He was not at all what I expected him to be and if I had known it sooner, there may have been something there. But Reed was still the only one I could imagine being with, no matter what I had to do.
"So, tomorrow night we are going to dinner, just me, you and Alex to celebrate your birthday." Heather demanded.
"I don't get a say in this?"
"Not even a peep. Lately you have been so distant, I need to celebrate my best friend's 18th."
"Ok, you're right. Where are we eating?"
"Palaco's. I've rented the back room." She smiled.
"The back room for just the three of us?"
"You know I'm not being seen with Alex- not the way he eats."
"Don't you ever go to dinner together?"
"Take or drive thru. Until he evolves and can use a fork, those are my rules." She laughed.
I wasn't really looking forward to being a third wheel on my birthday, but I was looking forward to more time with Heather. I had been neglecting her since Reed came into my life. I was starting to fear for her manners having Alex as the only one she could spend time with.
I went through the entire day without anyone making a big deal about my birthday. I was able to breathe a sigh of relief when the final bell rang. Just before reaching the car, Alex ruined my day.
"Let's hear it for the birthday girl!" He screamed across the courtyard as he jumped around me.
"Are you kidding me?"
"What? You're turning 18, be proud, sing it loud." He laughed. "Make way! Birthday girl coming through!" He continued.
The blood left my cheeks as I finally reached the car and Heather's cackle at Alex. His child-like immaturity is what drew her to him. She had to be the grownup of the relationship, something she craved.
"Get your boyfriend under control please!" I pleaded.
"Alex! Hush!" She commanded. He listened.
"Ally, be sure you don't make any plans tomorrow, you have to show up for dinner." She instructed.
We had gone to dinner thousands of times, never once did she have to command me to show up. It all seemed shady. I imagined a surprise party but didn't have the faintest idea of who would show up other than my parents. I didn't have enough friends to fill a diner booth let alone an entire back room.
As we got closer to home my birthday plans fell to the wayside as the conversation I needed to have with Reed came to the forefront. The look on his face was horrific before he disappeared. It was almost as though he died all over again.
As soon as I reached my room I started concentrating, imagining Reed appearing before me. I closed my eyes, wishing as hard as I could, expecting to hear his sultry voice at any moment. But no matter how many wishes I sent out, he didn't come.
Hours passed and still no Reed. I had dinner with my parents and even though they tried to hide it, I caught their small hints about my car. After dinner I did the dishes, wiped the table down and went back to my room. My head hurt from all the concentrating but I was relentless, I lied on my bed, closed my eyes and kept concentrating on Reed's appearance until I fell asleep.
The next morning I woke to another sea of roses. Tucked in the middle was a small box with a note leaning against it. I felt a small bit of excitement as I opened the off-white envelope. I had to look closely to read the scribble inside.
"I'm sorry about last night. Happy Birthday my love."
The handwriting was different than before. Did Reed write this?
I reached for the small velvet box and opened it carefully. The shimmer of the white gold chain took my breath away. There was a small angel charm attached. It was probably as close to a ghost as he could get. I slipped it on after my shower and went to the kitchen.
"Happy birthday sweetie." My dad wished.
"Happy birthday honey."
"Thanks mom and dad."
"Do you have any plans?" He asked.
"Just dinner later with Heather and Alex."
"That sounds nice. Where are you going?" My mother asked.
"Palaco's."
"That’s pretty pricey. It should be nice." My dad smiled.
They tried playing innocent but I could always tell when they were up to something. The small glances at each other, the way my mother tries to hide her smile, and they were as transparent as Reed.
"So are you ready for your gift?"
"Sure dad."
"Follow me." He instructed.
He led me to the garage and opened the door. I was expecting to see a decent used car but was surprised when the garage was empty.
"Umm, I don't see anything." I laughed.
"Hit the garage door button."
"Ok." I reached up and pressed it.
As the garage door slowly lifted, I could see the tires, then the bumper, the hood, and the emblem on the hood. The brand new car shined in the sunlight.
"A new car?" I asked confused. "Can we afford this?" I continued.
"Yeah, and the fact that you asked if we could proves you deserve it." He replied.
"But dad, I would have been happy with something older and cheaper." I explained.
"Well I couldn't find anything that I would feel safe with you driving. And if I had to go to a dealership I'd rather get you something new."
"I love it! Thank you!" I leapt into his arms and hugged him before running to my car.
"Now it doesn't have a lot of extras. It's just the basic model. But you do have airbags all around you." He laughed.
"I don't care, it's perfect. Thank you."
"Just promise you'll be careful driving and no long road trips yet." He demanded as he handed me the keys.
"I promise." I smiled.
"Go. Take it for a drive."
"Ok."
I slid into the driver's seat and started the car. It was so smooth I couldn't tell if it was actually running. I eased out of the driveway and drove to Heather's. I knew she would want to be the first one to see the car. She only lived 10 minutes from my house by car, 30 minutes if I had to walk. But I knew I would never have to walk again.
I honked the horn as I pulled into her driveway. Alex and Heather came out of the house.
"That is gorgeous!" Heather screamed as she ran to my window.
"Very nice!" Alex chimed in.
"Thanks. It's perfect right?" I stepped out of the car to admire it with them.
"From now on we take your car to school." Heather joked. "When's our first road trip?" She asked.
"Not until I get clearance from the parents."
"Well now that we have a car with less miles on it than mine, we can put some miles on it."
"It would definitely be a comfortable ride."
"So are you driving yourself to the restaurant tonight?" She asked.
"I'll be driving myself everywhere." I laughed.
"Good, just don't be late."
"I won't. But I better get going or I will be. I have to make another stop."
"Ok Ally. Congratulations on the new car. It's great. And Happy birthday!"
"Thanks." I hugged her and turned to Alex.
"Happy birthday Ally." He hugged.
"Thanks Alex. I'll see you both tonight."
I wanted to see Reed and thank him for the gift. I could have easily willed him to me, but I decided to drive to the manor. I was a little nervous about seeing Sarah there but didn't want to give it too much thought. Instead I concentrated on Reed. I was in too good of a mood to have Sarah feeling my thoughts.
"Happy birthday baby!" Reed popped in and screamed.
"Holy Shit!" I felt the car veer as I jumped, the tires screeching against the gravel shoulder of the road.
"I told you not to do that anymore!"
"I'm sorry, I heard you calling but I didn't know you were driving." He apologized.
"You can't tell what I'm doing when I think of you?"
"No, it's just an echo I hear."
"I guess I need to be careful thinking about you in the shower."
"I'll admit…I've been hoping for that time." He chuckled.
"Perv!"
"Is this your new car?" He looked around inside.
"Yes, you like it?" I smiled.
"It's very nice. Thought you said you were getting a used car."
"That's what I thought." I replied.
With Reed in the car, I turned away from the direction of the manor. I was relieved I wouldn't have to deal with Sarah. Instead I pulled into an empty parking lot and put the c
ar in park.
"Did you find my gift?" He asked.
"It was hard to miss. Thank you, I love it." I pulled the angel out from my under my shirt.
"And the card? I wrote it myself."
"You did?"
"Yes, I wanted it to mean more. I went through 5 pencils trying to write that." He smiled proudly.
"So you can touch things now? Like…me?" I was hopeful.
"Not yet. I still don't trust it. I am still scared I'll hurt you."
"But one day?"
"Yes, one day I will be able to touch you."
"But it won't be the same for you right?"
"No. Paul says I will always be numb, as long as I'm a ghost." He sighed.
"So the only way is to take someone?"
"Seems that way."
"Has Paul ever taken anyone?" I asked.
"Yes. He said he tried it when he was new."
"Did he say what it was like?"
"He said it was intense. Everything was heightened. The smells, taste, feel, all of it was amplified. He said it felt surreal and fake."
"So he never took anyone after that?"
"No, he said he would rather be numb and see the world how it is than to have a false sense."
"I guess I could understand that."
"Can we listen to the radio?" He asked.
"Sure." I reached to turn the radio on- noticing the time. "Shit! I need to get to dinner!"
"Can I come?" He asked.
"Ummm…sure. Just stay out of sight," I laughed when I realized who I was talking to.
The restaurant seemed busy when I pulled into the parking lot. Mindful of my new car I parked in a spot with no cars around it. I didn't want to come out and find a ding from a car door.
Heather met me outside with Alex immediately behind her.
