by Tia Siren
Saloon fights and issues with unruly men with the women in town were the main problems he dealt with. It wasn’t stressful in Elko on a typical day. James counted that as a blessing. The more problems he dealt with, the more his anger came out. As a Sheriff, he couldn’t exactly avoid the problems. So his anger had only grown over the years.
He had killed the man who killed his wife. But it hadn’t stopped the pain. She had been killed for only one reason. She was the Sheriff’s wife. After a long time behind prison bars in Ireland, a migrant had crossed the ocean simply to begin killing people in America, specifically law enforcement and their families. One of his victims was Annie, John’s dear wife. She had only been 24 years old. He was 25 when the tragedy happened. Almost four years later, he could still see her beautiful face, hear her sweet voice and regretted his inability to keep her safe from harm.
He wasn’t going to go through that again. He didn’t care what his sister thought. He didn’t need someone else to care for or to care for him. He was just fine on his own.
He lowered his head to his hands again and fought back tears of sorrow. Liz had opened up that wound all over again. He couldn’t even see the woman he’d met in his mind, couldn’t remember her face. He was blown away by what Liz had done.
“How could she?” He moaned, allowing a few tears to come out before frowning and wiping them angrily away. For the first time in several years, he wanted to go visit the saloon until the early hours of the morning.
But he’d made a vow to himself and to the town, though they didn’t know it, that he would not turn into a raging drunk, stumbling around town pretending to keep the peace while creating the chaos. He was stronger than that.
And he didn’t need a woman on his arm to prove it.
Hettie found herself fairly on her own when they got to Liz and John’s house, at least for a few moments. The Bannerman home was nicely put together, a solid ranch house with two bedrooms, a kitchen, sitting room, dining room and den. She was impressed as soon as she went in. It was obvious that Liz did everything she could to keep the place dust free. It couldn’t have been easy. The air was so dry and dusty. Hettie had the idea dusting was a constant chore.
John helped Liz up into the house and into the sitting room, where Liz dropped herself on a couch, grabbed a large pillow cushion and squeeze it in front of her. Now she was not crying as much as raging against her brother and his behavior. She pounded on the pillow, calling him selfish, a fool, unbelievable.
Liz stood in the foyer waiting for John to tell her where to go. She watched him kneel next to his wife, looking up at her. “You must not come down on yourself too much, dear wife. You were only trying to help him get out of the bad mood he’s been in for years.”
“Years, John. Years!” She repeated back to him as if he had said “weeks” or “months.” He just nodded at her.
“I know. I know.” He lifted one hand and put it against her cheek. “But you know how James is. You know he always reacts quickly to things and then when he takes a step back and looks at things, he calms down. You know he is that way.”
Liz pulled in a breath and swallowed hard. She was looking down at John with tender eyes. “But how could he behave that way in front of Hettie? How can he not know how much that would hurt her?”
“The only reason James acts that way is because he doesn’t want anyone else to get hurt. Liz, we discussed this. It’s not like you and I didn’t take this possibility into account. We will go with the second plan of action. All right?”
Hettie took a step forward, holding her bag in front of her. “Excuse me?” She said. The couple looked up at her. John got to his feet and came toward her with his hands extended which she took.
“Come in here and sit down. How terribly rude after what you’ve just been put through.” He said. He led her to a near chair, and she sat in it.
“You have another plan?” Hettie asked, settling into the comfortable chair after the long train ride and abrupt carriage rides. John nodded and moved back to sit next to Liz on the couch. He leaned forward, lacing his fingers through his wife’s.
“Yes. Liz and I are going to have a child. We will need someone to care for it. If you are willing to stay on, we will let you live here, and you can help out Liz.”
Hettie pressed her lips together. It was not what she had planned, but it was definitely a good alternative to the only other option, which would be leaving and going back to Virginia. Or going into town and working with those women.
She shuddered. That was not an option. And if she stayed…perhaps she could win over the heart of the handsome Sheriff.
Chapter Three
Hettie unfolded the handkerchief and looked at it admiringly. “This is beautiful work, Liz! Did you do this?” The cloth was embroidered with a brightly colored peacock and had the initials EAB woven into the bird’s feathers.
Liz wiped her hands on her apron and came over to look at the handkerchief. She smiled softly and took it from Hettie. “No, my gramma did. She made it for me when I was a child. I think it’s funny that my initials didn’t change.” She looked up at Hettie, her memories alive on her face. “My grandmother was very much involved in our lives until we lost her some years ago.”
“I’m sorry.”
Liz shook her head and placed the cloth back on the shelf hanging over the window. “She lived a long and fruitful life. She was a wonderful and happy woman, always doing things to help others. She was the reason we all have faith in the Lord to guide our steps.” She shook her head, going back to the counter to continue shaving the skins from them with a sharp knife. “It’s one of the reasons I have such a hard time accepting James’ behavior. Not just last night but for the past three years. He has been so sad. He just won’t come out of mourning. He’s angry and bitter all the time. It’s like he’s not praying, not trying, not trusting the Lord at all.”
“Did he before he lost his wife?” Hettie asked, moving to the large bowl of water she was using to clean the vegetables she and Liz had pulled from the garden early that morning. They were preparing a birthday celebration for John. Many of the people in town would be there, including James. It made her nervous. She wondered if he was even going to show up after what had happened those nights before.
“Yes. He has not since then.”
“May I ask you a question?” Hettie looked up from the carrots she had lined up on the cutting table. Liz looked back at her, holding her knife in one hand and a potato in the other.
“Of course, Hettie.”
“If you knew that he was still angry and bitter about the loss, why would you bring someone else here to meet him? Such a long way? I don’t want to sound rude; I have enjoyed the last two days getting to know you both. But if you knew about his feelings, why did you surprise him in such a way?”
Liz looked back down at the potatoes before answering. She set down the knife and potato she held and went to sit next to Hettie at the table. She looked into Hettie’s eyes and licked her small lips. “It seems that I’ve manipulated this situation in a way I should not have. I am sorry for that. I was only trying to do what I thought would be good for my brother. I really didn’t expect him to react that way. I thought he was, at least, give you time to get to know him and him to know you.” She sighed. “I reckon, I also hoped it would be enough of a shock to bring him out of this mood he’s been in, show him that there are other beautiful women in the world for him to love.”
“Beauty is only seen on the surface,” Hettie said, sadly. “He has not seen what is underneath. He may be afraid to see who I am. He may be afraid of his feelings. Did she die in a brutal way?”
Liz nodded, her eyes dropping to the vegetables as if they were the most fascinating things she had ever seen. “He watched it happen. And then he shot the man who killed her.”
It was Hettie’s turn to sigh. “I see.”
A shock was probably not what James had needed. Perhaps gently easing someone new into his life would
have been better than bringing her and dropping her on his front doorstep like an abandoned animal.
She shook off her feelings of resentment. She understood that Liz was just a meddling sister who cared too much for her brother, stewing in his misery and pain. She understood that James was still mourning and having a terrible time pulling out of it.
What she didn’t understand was how she was supposed to react to it. Her life had been turned upside down to travel across the country, and now her future was very much in question. She had prepared herself to be married. Was she supposed to start looking for someone else?
“I have been praying for someone to get through to James for so long now. I can’t bear to see him like that anymore.”
“What would you like for me to do, Liz?” Hettie asked. “Do you want me to try to do something to get through to him? Because I really don’t know how I’m going to do that.”
Liz shook her head and put one hand on Hettie’s arm. “I don’t think there’s anything you can do, Hettie. I just want you to be yourself. He will be around. I believe John was right when he said that James would calm down. He will give you a chance…if you still want one.”
Hettie thought about James. He was tall, handsome, strong, everything she admired in a man. Everything she could see, anyway. But she didn’t know his mind or his personality. All she had seen was anger and rage.
“When I was young,” Hettie said. “I watched my mother die.”
Liz sat back, her dark eyes wide open. She pushed one hand through some of the dark hair that had escaped the bun. “Oh my! I did not know that, Hettie!”
Hettie nodded. “I have not mentioned it before. It was…very bad. I was upset about it for a long time. So was my father. I was twelve years old; my brother was almost fifteen. My mother’s brother moved in with us after her death and helped my father care for us children. Mother was a wonderful and bright light in our lives. And my father mourned her for many years, too.”
Liz pressed her lips together, tears filling her eyes. “Did he ever find love again?”
Hettie shook her head. “He wasn’t looking.”
“Oh, my.” Liz looked devastated. The implication that James may never have intended to find another woman was becoming more of a reality for her.
Hettie understood what Liz was thinking by the distraught look on her face. She took the opportunity to put her own hand on Liz’s arm, squeezing gently. “But I have something else to say that might make you feel better.” Liz blinked and looked at her through thick tears. “With my father, I could see that he didn’t feel destined to be with another woman. I still hope that someday he will find another love. But he didn’t want to, and he didn’t stay in a deep depressive state for a long time. He chose not to find another woman himself, but he remained who he was. You say that James has changed.”
Liz nodded.
“I believe that our Lord does guide our steps, just like you do. And since we are only humans, we often react in typical human ways, wouldn’t you say?”
“Yes.” Liz’s voice was soft.
“I don’t think God brought me here to just be a caretaker for you and your little baby.” Hettie smiled at her new friend. “I have faith that He knows what He’s doing. If it was meant that I should be with James, I will be.”
“How do you plan to act toward him now? You’ve only seen his bad side and oh, Hettie, he can be such a charming man, so fun and laughing and happy.”
Hettie nodded, picturing the handsome Sheriff in her mind. “I’m sure he can be. He’s just in that place right now. Perhaps we will give him a little time to come around? I will speak to him whenever he is here.”
“You will turn his head, Hettie. I just know you can change his mind. I’ve grown to like you quite a lot in the last two days and so has John. We believe you will be a respectful and good houseguest while you are here and if it is God’s will, a good wife for my brother.”
Hettie pulled in a deep breath. “I would certainly like to see what happens.”
“I will pray that things work out as they should.” Liz used her apron to wipe her tears away and clear her eyes. She pulled in a deep breath and released it slowly. “I still feel so bad for overstepping the boundaries.”
“It’s too late for all that now,” Hettie said. “We must look to the future and trust that God knows what He wants, and He will make it happen.”
“You are very strong in your faith. I didn’t know that about you, either.”
Hettie chuckled softly. “It’s another one of those things I didn’t mention in my letter.”
Liz smiled, her eyes lighting up from relief instead of tears.
For two days, James had avoided going to his sister’s or seeing her at all. He barely recalled the woman Liz had brought to town for him and was trying to avoid thinking about the fact that the woman would inevitably be at John’s birthday party that night. He felt like the lowest man on earth, remembering his actions in front of the strange woman. He hadn’t been able to help it. The shock was too much for him.
He’d always felt that if he let himself look at another woman, he would be betraying his late wife. He missed Annie still, thinking of her not on a daily basis anymore, thank God, but often. Little things around the house and around town still reminded him of her.
If he was not betraying Annie, he was putting yet another innocent woman in harm’s way. How could he justify doing that for his own selfish purposes? How could he go on with the thought that he may someday see another woman killed in front of his eyes and have his heart ripped out of his chest all over again?
The thought truly made him sick to his stomach.
He looked in the mirror hanging next to his front door and ran his hands through his dark hair. His brown eyes still looked sad. They always looked sad to him. He brushed his hands over his trim beard and sighed. He was going to do it anyway. He tried recalling the woman’s face in his mind but couldn’t. All he could see was Annie.
Perhaps Liz was right. Could it be time to put his heart on the line again? Was it worth it?
She’d been telling him for almost a year that he needed to brighten his life, find something new to be interested in, if not a woman, something else. But his job took precedence over everything. What woman was going to accept that?
Was that why Liz brought someone from afar to be his companion? He gnawed at his upper lip, staring at himself. He wasn’t a bad man. He tried very hard to be a good man.
“Lord, what do I do?” He asked aloud. “I don’t want to get another woman killed, especially one that I love.” He was quiet for a moment, hoping God would speak to him through the mirror. He pulled in a deep breath. It wasn’t going to happen. “I’ll see her tonight.”
His chest became tight with anxiety for a moment before it released and he felt peace fill him.
Maybe everything would turn out all right if he just kept his cool and talked to her to see what kind of woman she was.
And prayed.
Chapter Four
There were more people at the party than Hettie expected. She sat in a garden chair, watching them all. They talked and laughed, milling around the garden, admiring Liz’s fine work in such an arid atmosphere. The grass under their feet was green. Bushes and trees had been planted. Liz and John had placed stone tablets along the garden area and around the yard, so visitors didn’t need to step onto the grass or disrupt the vegetation.
“Aren’t you hungry, Hettie?” John asked, stepping over to where she was sitting. “You spent a lot of time preparing this food for everyone. You must have some, too.”
Hettie nodded. “I will. Don’t worry.” She smiled, reached over to the small white table next to her and picked up a thinly sliced carrot stick. She took a quick bite and chewed, still smiling at him. He nodded and laughed.
“Good for you.”
“John! Who is this lovely young lady?” An older man had approached and was leaning toward Hettie to take her hand. Hettie lifted it, and
the man kissed it gently. “You are a refreshing breeze here in this dusty town, young lady.”
Hettie blushed. “Thank you, sir.”
“You must call me Charles!” The man announced. “And what might your name be?”
“This is Hettie, Charlie,” John answered, giving Hettie a look over the older man’s shoulder that made Hettie drop her eyes to keep from giggling.
“Hettie! It’s good to meet you!”
“Charlie runs the Little Boar Inn,” John explained, stepping a little closer so that the older man needed to edge away from Hettie. “Hettie is here to meet with James.”
Charlie raised his thick eyebrows and stood up straight, looking up at John. “Oh, I see!” He paused. “I take it this was an idea that came from Liz?”
John nodded.
Charlie looked back down at Hettie. “Well, young lady, let me tell you a few things about our Sheriff.” His voice had changed but not in an unfriendly way. “He is a good man. He’s taken good care of this little town, even after Annie was…killed, poor girl. It was a terrible tragedy and it hurt James greatly. But if he lets you in, you have a good chance of being with a good husband.” Charlie leaned back down and said in a low voice, “I do believe you are beautiful enough to catch his eye, I must say. If he doesn’t give you the chance, you will not have trouble finding a husband, should you want one.”
“All right there, Charlie.” John laughed. “Let’s go talk to Mary and Liz. You can quiz them about the social next month to see what plans they have made so far.”
The two men made off into the small crowd. Hettie watched them. Charlie seemed an amusing old man. As he and John walked off, he began talking excitedly about the social next month. Apparently, social gatherings were something this little town enjoyed frequently. With so few people populating the area, most knew each other. She had been greeted by each person at the party with open arms though she was a stranger and an outsider. She had the sneaking suspicion Liz had warned them all ahead of time that she would be there and had bolstered their opinion of her with her own opinion before they even met her.
