“Have I done something wrong, Miss?” The concern etched on Sally’s face brought a feeling of regret to Alice.
“Actually, yes, you have done something wrong,” she said, trying to maintain a serious look.
Sally’s eyes widened. “I am sorry, Miss! Whatever it is that I have done, please forgive me! I hope I have not insulted you by sitting at your table.” The poor woman looked as if she would be apoplectic.
Alice laughed, though she felt bad for having scared the poor girl. “No, nothing so drastic,” she assured the woman. “Please, my name is Alice, not Miss. There is no need for formality between friends.”
The woman breathed a sigh of relief and lowered herself back into the chair. She lowered a hand from her chest that she had probably used to calm her wildly beating heart. “Oh, you did scare me so,” she said.
“I am sorry for that,” Alice said as she placed a hand on Sally’s. “I meant no harm. Now, what has sent you?”
“Well, I had some questions…about men. I was wondering if you could give me some advice.”
Alice was amused, but she kept her thoughts to herself. She had already upset the poor girl once, she did not want to do so again. “I will do what I can, although I have to admit that I am not very knowledgeable about men.”
“You see, I was wondering…with the Earl, how did you know you were in love with him?”
The question caught Alice off-guard. She was not going to share with a complete stranger that in truth, she was not in love with Johnathan, nor the reason they were getting married. Instead, she drew on her past experience.
“Love is a fickle friend,” Alice explained. “It will simply hit you one day out of the blue, but the signs are there well before then.” Sally nodded, and Alice continued. “You might find the simplest act makes you smile. You will delight in his words, and when you are apart, you will long for the moment when you will be together again. Does any of this sound familiar?”
“It does. I feel the same about Patrick, but I worry he does not feel the same about me.” She let out a heavy sigh.
“Why would you say that?” What Alice had observed was a man who loved a woman dearly.
“I thought he would want to marry me by now, but every time I speak of being married one day, he goes quiet or changes the subject.”
“I will let you in on a secret,” Alice said. Sally leaned in as if the catch every word. “Men are not as smart as we are.”
Sally’s eyes widened and she sat with her jaw hanging open. “Is that true?”
Alice nodded. “It is very true. I suspect that Patrick is in love with you—no, I know he is. As for him asking for your hand, I would give it time. Perhaps he is wanting to make sure the moment is special.”
Sally leaned back and the relief was not only evident in the sigh she let out but the smile on her face. “Thank you,” she said. “Truth be told, I cannot wait till we get married. I love him so much. We have known each other since we were fifteen and we have always been friends. My mother says those make the best marriages…”
The woman who spoke now was quite different from the girl who first arrived; it was as if she had matured within seconds. Gone was the nervousness, replaced by a confidence that Alice would have expected after Patrick’s description of the woman he loved. As she listened, Alice realized that she and Sally would be great friends.
Chapter Seventeen
It was a glorious day as Johnathan and Alice crossed the road and made their way to the beach they had visited upon Johnathan’s arrival in St. Mawes. It had been a fortnight since he had begun instructing Alice, and Johnathan found he surprisingly enjoyed her company more and more each day. They had made extraordinary progress on readying the shop, and since Alice had apologized for her behavior at the draper’s, he now found her change in demeanor much more tolerable. He was also pleased with her aptitude for learning.
Once they reached the beach, Alice looked at the sandy ground skeptically.
“May I?” Johnathan asked as he held out his elbow.
She nodded and looped her arm through his, and Johnathan looked down and realized how well the two fit together. He led her to the center of the beach, the waves still some distance away. Closing his eyes, he reveled in the sound of the waves rushing the beach.
“When I was a child,” Alice said as she stared out over the ocean, “we visited here several times. I often wondered, silly as it may sound, what it would be like to sail those waters. Would I come to a land with people I have never before encountered? But then the thought would frighten me.”
Johnathan tilted his head at her. “I’m afraid I do not understand,” he said. “Why would it frighten you?”
“Because they might speak a different language than I, and I would not know if they were greeting me with happiness or anger.” She let out a laugh.
Johnathan found himself laughing, as well, and he wondered if his cheeks were going as rosy as hers. Her laugh, much like the woman, was beautiful and he felt a small tug at his heart upon hearing it. It was a strange feeling, but the more time he spent with her, the more he welcomed it. “I have never heard anything so amusing before,” he said, but then he worried he would offend her with his words.
However, rather than be offended, she continued to laugh even harder. Wiping at her eye, she gave a nod. “It is how my imagination works at times. Thomas used to…” She stopped suddenly and bit at her lip. “I apologize. Forgive me.”
He nodded but his curiosity was now piqued. He had heard her speak of this man twice before.
“Who is Thomas?” he asked.
She was quiet for a moment, and a new feeling moved through him. Jealousy? Yet that made no sense. Why would he be jealous if she cared for another man? The fact was, this Thomas had not married her, and Johnathan felt no sympathy for the man. Furthermore, Johnathan did not love Alice, so why should he feel thus?
“I do not know where to begin,” Alice said. Her eyes darted about and he could see the look of worry in them and he understood why.
He placed a hand over hers. He was intrigued instantly by her soft, smooth skin. “There is nothing to fear,” he assured her. “I will not be upset regardless of what you share with me.”
Alice looked back at him, her green eyes searching his face. Then she gave a slight nod. “When I was younger, Thomas and I spoke of one day being married.” She glanced around the beach, leaned forward and lowered her voice, as if to keep others from hearing. “I will tell you something that I have not said to anyone, even my mother.” Intrigued, Johnathan nodded his head and remained silent. “He was the stable hand at our estate. We met when we were both just fifteen.”
“I see. Your parents never knew or suspected?”
Alice looked back over the ocean. “No. I had kept it well hidden, awaiting the day when we were going to be wed. Of course, that day never came, but that is fine; I have accepted that is was not meant to be.”
Johnathan followed her gaze and watched as a seagull swooped down into a large wave. A moment later, it reappeared with a fish in its beak. He found himself watching the bird with amusement as his thoughts began acting quite strangely. It was as if he imagined himself as the bird swooping down and catching Alice before this Thomas did.
She heaved a heavy sigh. “It no longer matters,” she said. “I am marrying you now.”
He nodded as he allowed her words play over in his mind. Then a thought struck him, and he turned his attention back to her. He felt another tug at his heart as he watched a single tear roll down her cheek. Without thinking, he raised a hand and brushed it away.
“Why did you feel safe enough to confide in me when you would not even tell your own mother?”
She turned toward him and gazed at him with great intensity. “Because you will be my husband,” she replied as if he should already know the answer. “I think it best if we do not keep secrets from each other, do you not agree?”
He pondered her words, seeing the wisdom in them. �
��You have made me look at our arrangement in a different light,” he said, shocked by his own words, but quite happy they had somehow become closer. “Very well then, I will keep no secret from you. Do you wish to ask me anything?”
She appeared to think for several moments and then gave a single nod. “May I ask who Jane is?”
He let out a frustrated sigh, though he was not solely angry with her. He had put himself in this position, and after her confession about the man she was to marry at one point, a man who clearly continued to hold her heart, he knew it only right to tell her the truth. Yet, was he required to? Was he not the type of man who manipulated women into getting what he wanted?
However, as he looked into her green eyes, he found himself speaking before he could stop himself. “Jane was the daughter of a Baron I courted some years back, and much like yourself and the farmhand, we to planned to wed one day.” As if coming to his senses, he reined back on his words. Was the woman before him some sort of witch who could make him say words he did not wish to say? “I will not say much more; however, like you, I found myself alone.” A strange feeling came over him as those last words tumbled from his lips, a feeling of relief for finally having the ability to relinquish even the smallest crumble of hurt he had held inside for so long. And for the first time in a very long time, his back did not feel as tense and it seemed like new air was filling his lungs.
“Thank you for sharing your secret,” she said softly. “I will never tell another soul.” Her eyes told him that she spoke the truth, that she would keep this promise until her dying breath if necessary. And as he looked down at the beautiful woman, he saw not a severe spinster who was clumsy and lacking in grace. Instead, he saw a beautiful woman who carried a heavy burden of hurt. A woman who made herself appear undesirable to men as a means to cover that hurt. He also saw a reflection of himself; however, his hurt was acted out in how he used women for his own pleasure.
They both turned back to stare at the sun just setting over the horizon, a globe of fire reflecting on the surface of the ocean. Both remained quiet as they watched the waves continue to break over the sand, inching toward them, and then ebbed back into the waters behind them, only to be replaced with another.
Johnathan glanced down and noticed that his hand still covered hers. Rather than remove it, as would be appropriate, he left it so.
***
Alice let out a small sigh, feeling relieved she had shared about Thomas and was happy that Johnathan had not scolded her. In fact, he had shocked her when he said as much about whoever this Jane was. In that moment, there was no denying, she felt a bond unite them. She had noted his hand on hers and smiled inwardly. His grip was strong and protective but at the same time gentle. It was the same gentleness she had seen in his eyes when he offered his arm to her. And when he spoke of Jane.
Though Alice was far from the jealous type, she was curious about who this woman was. The fact that the woman was the daughter of a Baron told Alice that she was a woman of wealth. She was quite curious as to how the two had parted ways, but enough had been said. Perhaps it was for the best that she not know, for oftentimes, knowing too much could have the opposite effect. As she thought on what she had not said about Thomas, it only convinced her further that, yes, many things were best left unspoken.
Though she had not shared everything, having the opportunity to tell Johnathan something of Thomas had been a relief, just as much as knowing that Jane was no longer a threat. Then she wondered, a threat to whom? She did not love Johnathan, and their marriage was one that would be of a mutual benefit.
The tinkling laughter of a small child made her turn, and the young boy giggled even more as his father chased him down the beach.
“They are so lovely, are they not?” Alice said as she watched the pair chasing each other and falling to the ground in a fit of laughter.
“That they are,” Johnathan replied. “They seem to have not a care in the world.”
The father caught up the little boy and swung him around before returning to a woman Alice presumed was the boy’s mother.
“Have you many friends in Cornwall?” Alice asked.
Johnathan removed his hand from hers and Alice immediately missed the feeling of protection it provided. He walked a short distance, picked up a stone and threw it into the water. “I have a few acquaintances, but mostly business associates. I am not as apt as making friends as you seem to be.”
She let out a laugh. “Then I will teach you.”
He raised an eyebrow at her. “Is that so?” he asked. “And how do you propose to do that?”
“Simple,” she replied firmly. “You will practice right now. Are you ready for a challenge?”
Johnathan laughed as he reached up and moved a wave of hair from his brow. “Very well. I am prepared for instruction.”
Alice pointed at the ocean. “See those waves?” she asked. He nodded. “Those waves are like life, bringing in friends, which are the fish within them.”
“I see,” he said with a chuckle. “That is quite insightful.”
“But of course it is,” she said proudly. “I came up with it.”
This brought on another fit of laughter, but she regained her composure and continued with her instruction. “The good friends in life are there, just as the fish.” A seagull swooped down and rose again. “You must be willing to search for them and claim them before someone else does. So, be like that seagull.”
“So, am I the bird that found the friend?” he asked. The lines around his eyes that had been angry and sad were now replaced with happiness, and the sight of his smile was breathtaking. His face beamed brighter than the sun’s rays that were cast upon it.
“Yes, you are,” she replied with a smile. “And I must say, you found a good friend, would you agree?”
“I would,” he said. Both stared at each other for a moment and then Johnathan cleared his throat. “Tomorrow, it would be an honor to send a carriage to collect you and bring you to Cliff Heights House. Perhaps you would like to see it before it becomes one of your homes.”
Only a few weeks ago, Alice would have scoffed at such an offer as much as the man. However, his request felt somehow different, and the thought of seeing his home excited her.
“Yes, I would enjoy that,” she replied.
As they made their way back to the docks, her arm in his, she found a comfort in being with him. Johnathan had been right about the waves; they were comforting to be around, much like the gentleman walking beside her.
Chapter Eighteen
The drawing room threatened to suffocate Johnathan as he paced from one end to the other. He had sent a carriage to collect Alice and expected its arrival at any moment. The weather outside was perfect; the sun shone brightly, and the sky seemed a richer shade of blue than he had ever seen before. However, as he gazed out the window, he realized that many things had become brighter over the last week, and he knew precisely why. It was the red-headed beauty that he now awaited. They had spoken another hour, perhaps even two, as they stood looking over the ocean from the pier that afternoon they had shared their stories of previous love. Although he knew she held back some of her story as much as he had, he could not help but feel elated that he had learned as much as he did.
After inviting her to his home, the conversation had remained light, and he found himself laughing more often than not as she shared stories of her life growing up at Glassberry Estate. He, in turn, had also shared tales of growing up under the thumb of a man with his sights set on bettering himself and his family name. In the end, they both learned that their fathers were very much alike, even if one had a title and the other did not, for neither was happy with what they had. Doing this made Johnathan feel closer to Alice somehow.
Johnathan wondered at his previous concern for a man who no longer courted Alice. This Thomas had only been a farmhand, after all, and more than likely he had realized that he could not provide for Alice in the way she was accustomed. Women could say tha
t love conquered all, but the reality was, they wanted to be cared for, and Johnathan could not imagine Alice living in squalor, even for love. He no longer concerned himself with the man who had previously held her heart, for the man had opted not to marry her. And Johnathan understood from personal experience that sometimes the best-laid plans rarely came to fruition. Much like what had happened with Jane.
How Johnathan had loved her and wanted nothing more than to marry her. Hours had been spent discussing their upcoming wedding and the years that would follow. Then, much to his astonishment, their engagement ended. He shook his head. For whatever reason, he no longer became angry when he thought back to that day when she told him it was over. In fact, he now felt a sense of relief. Perhaps it was for the best, for the following years he spent a great deal of time concentrating on his work, expanding his business and wealth, and becoming the man he was today. It had also led him to Alice.
He let out a small laugh, not believing they would be wed. Just a month earlier, when he had interacted with her at the party at Glassberry Estate, he saw not the grace and beauty of a woman of the gentry, and the thought of her stomping on his foot made him laugh. However, he now understood the reasoning behind her actions and could see the humor in them.
In place of that uncertain and stern spinster was a woman of elegance and grace, a true lady, and he found himself liking the new Alice as much as, he had to admit, he liked the new Johnathan. For he had changed. He no longer made requests of the various women he had at his beck and call. Even the thought of taking Susan into his bed made him feel ill.
The sound of a carriage coming up the drive brought him back to the present. Glancing at the large clock on the mantle, he was pleased to see that Alice was on time. Johnathan made his way to the large foyer where Harold waited by the door, his weathered face solemn, although his lips showed the hint of a smile. He was so different from Stanton, Johnathan’s butler at Shetfield Manor in Exeter, but he was just as loyal.
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