Prinlilah: Oh, surely you know what “this” is. Every bad girl has one in her wardrobe, and you could make a bad girl out of an angel, Gray. You have seen “this” more often than I have, I bet.
Winstonsecur: Ah, a black lace French corset with thigh-high stockings and five-inch, shiny black heels. Yes, of course I know what “this” is. It looks lovely on you, darling, absolutely stunning.
Prin laughed. How she missed him. Missing him was the most dangerous thing she’d ever done in her life. She could not afford him right now. She couldn’t resist him. This playful flirting was too fun, too tempting and too easy.
Prinlilah: I knew you could figure it out. You know it’s cleaning day. Dusting wouldn’t be the same without the correct outfit.
Winstonsecur: Baby Girl, the things I can do with a feather duster and you in that outfit are illegal in forty-six states. You’re just being mean now. A visual like that could drive a man to his knees.
Prinlilah: Gray, the day I see you on your knees, is the day they spot pigs flying over the frozen gates of hell. And why only forty-six states? What’s up with the other four?
Winstonsecur: If getting on my knees was all it took to get your attention, sweetheart, you would see me on my knees in the next ten minutes. About the states, I left out Alaska and Hawaii because I’m not sure about their Blue Laws. Nevada would want to sell you a license to do it, but California wouldn’t give a damn. Why haven’t you called?
Prin’s hands trembled. Here we go, the serious stuff. Telling him what she faced in the near future was not an option. It’s not like they really knew each other. There was no reason to drag him into her life. Even if she did tell him what was going on, what if he couldn’t handle it? Oh, God, this hurt. Tears slipped down her face as she typed.
Prinlilah: It’s not a good time in my life, Gray. You knew our deal was ONE night. A really great, naughty night. That’s all we were supposed to have.
Winstonsecur: It wasn’t one night—it’s been two years’ worth of nights. Is there someone else? Do you have a commitment you can’t get out of? I need to know, Prin! Please be straight with me on this!
Prinlilah: No! It’s nothing like that! Look, I don’t want to talk about it. Please, Gray, there are some things going on in my life that I have no control over. I can’t get involved! It’s not like we even know each other that well. Can we please just let it go?
Winstonsecur: I don’t think I can, Prin. We can’t undo this thing. But we can go back to where we should have started. Baby, I want contact with you. I’ll back off. We can spend some time getting to know each other. The one thing I can’t do is go away. As long as I’m the only guy who gets to see you in that outfit, even if it’s only in my mind, I can be a good boy and play nice.
Prinlilah: What does that mean—“play nice”?
Prin got up and started pacing. Could she do this? Could she have him in her life? Would he let her have just this little bit of him? The week had been hellish since she left the hotel last Saturday morning. Wanting him, needing the strength he carried so effortlessly, made her lonely right down to her bones. The loneliness coupled with the stress of her current situation was destroying her. Would he give her this?
No. She was grasping at an illusion because she wanted it so badly. He would want more soon. She knew it. Felt it with every feminine fiber of her being. Perhaps with him in Florida and her up here, it could work for a while, though. Was it worth a try on top of everything else? Perhaps by the time he wanted more she would know if she could give it to him. Maybe leaving this door open between them wasn’t a bad thing. She knew she wanted this contact too desperately to deny him. It was better than nothing. He was backing off, letting her breathe a bit, and she wanted him too much not to let him seduce her with this ploy.
Winstonsecur: It means we talk. We play. We are friends, if that’s what you want right now. It means I get to stay in your life, if only through this medium for a while if it makes you more comfortable.
Prinlilah: Will you do that, Gray? I would really like it if we could do that.
Winstonsecur: There is just one rule, no dating someone else in real time, Prin. I can’t share you, not even a little bit. You have got to promise me that. Just that.
Prinlilah: That goes both ways? Right?
Winstonsecur: You bet!! However, you’d better be prepared to be naughty on this thing for me. If this is all I get, well, you know how I am! J Just talking to you gets me hard, hell, thinking about you gets me hard. It’s damn irritating too because you’re on my mind 24/7.
Prinlilah: Poor baby, it’s been a HARD week for you?? LOL
Winstonsecur: GRRRR… Yes, very hard. The little witch who got me in this condition should feel sorry for me, too. A man can only survive so long on the itty-bitty bit of blood that has been able to make it to my brain this week.
Prinlilah: Oh, so now you’re holding me responsible for your troubles? Ha! A big bad boy like you brought low by a little thing like me? I don’t think so!
Winstonsecur: Baby Girl, I am sitting here with my tongue hanging out and panting over the pleasure of being allowed to IM you. You, “little thing”, can take me as low as you want! The outfit doesn’t hurt either.
Prinlilah: So, back to the outfit are we? This corset is pinching a bit. Mind if I take it off?
Winstonsecur: Not at all, sweetheart. Here, let me help you. All those little hooks down the back are tough to reach. Besides, every inch of your back needs kissing. Right down to your naked little ass. You know how distracting I find those enticing globes. God, you have a beautiful ass, baby.
With a chuckle, Prin dashed the tears from her cheeks. He was infectious, distracting and the damn man was making her fall a little more in love with his big, possessive, sexy self. How was a woman supposed to resist a guy who was so macho he oozed testosterone, and yet so seemingly enthralled with her that he would back off when asked to? It was like having a big, unpredictable Bengal tiger agree to play with you.
Prinlilah: You are a silver-tongued devil! However, when that wicked tongue is busy on my body, how are we supposed to get to know each other?
Winstonsecur: Damn it, woman. How can I seduce you when you keep getting all logical on me?
Prinlilah: Poor Gray. It sucks to be you. LOL
Winstonsecur: Yeah, you’re so much help with that. So, what’s your favorite movie? Are you ever going to let me make love to you in the rain? Do you shop forever, or do you like to get in, get what you came for and get out? Do you insist on wearing panties every day? Do you like ice cream at one a.m.? Are you going to let me suck it out of you? How many pairs of shoes do you own? (The number of shoes is important info when reckoning a woman.) Do you like to eat out? Or is an evening in, by the fire more your style? Can I get you to have dinner naked on the floor by the fire?
Prinlilah: Yikes, Gray, slow down! LOL
Winstonsecur: Slow down? I thought that is what we are doing.
Prinlilah: There’s a fireplace in Miami?
Winstonsecur: Well, this is getting to know you stuff. The fireplace could be anywhere. So, how about it? Naked, bearskin rug and Chinese? Sound interesting?
Prinlilah: LOL We have a lot of questions to get through before we get to that one.
Winstonsecur: Tease.
Prinlilah: Tyrant.
Winstonsecur: Yeah, yeah, start from the top. Just get to the naked part quick. I am a desperate man here. On the edge, as it were. Ready to explode with…um…curiosity?
Prinlilah: Oh, I believe you’re ready to explode, Gray. Didn’t know they were calling it “curiosity” these days. I’ll just have to suck it up and start from the beginning, as it were. LOL
Winstonsecur: New rule. No mention of “suck” unless it’s in connection to a body part and you’re willing to continue until all the “sucking” is done! God, you make me crazy, woman!
Prinlilah: Stop it! I am gonna fall off my chair laughing. Damn, you’re easy.
Winstonsecur: Oh Yea
h! I am so willing to be easy! Thought you’d figured that out already. MEN ARE EASY for their women. We become a tower of Jell-O when you girls crook your little finger at us. Panting, begging, the works, we are there for you!
Prinlilah: Oh, RIGHT! Jell-O my ass!
Winstonsecur: Sure baby, I’d lick Jell-O off your ass if you like. Haven’t tried that before, sounds interesting.
Prinlilah: All right, wise guy. What’s your favorite color? Do you like anything besides action movies? Do you watch sports incessantly? Are you into politics? Do you golf? Is there a poker night with the boys? Do you like hanging out in bars? Do you believe in sending a woman flowers? Or is that a foreign concept for you? Do you cook? Do you do your own laundry? Do you expect a woman to pick up after you? Do you drink anything besides beer? Do you really think this long-distance relationship stuff is worth it?
Winstonsecur: YES! It’s worth it! Don’t ever doubt that. Damn, you ask the really hard questions. Before I answer that minefield of questions you must promise me that if you have a problem with any answer, you’ll tell me and we will talk about it. We can compromise on anything, baby. Can you do that?
Prinlilah: Mmmm. We can compromise on anything? That goes both ways again. Compromise being the operative word here, Gray. Does the Dom/sub stuff stay in the bedroom for you? I really need to know.
Winstonsecur: Baby Girl, I am a protective, possessive, and since I met you, a jealous guy. I can’t change that. I will do my damnedest to make you happy, though. I will never knowingly hurt you. That includes hurting you by not being able to bend. Yes, the sexual Dom/sub stuff stays private. I will always be an aggressive guy. I have a very high sex drive, and you know that. That’s not all our relationship is or will be about, Prin. I want you all the time, in every way a man can want a woman. I don’t need to Dom you to be with you, Prin.
Prinlilah: So you’re telling me you’re bossy, demanding and obsessed with sex.
Winstonsecur: Well, hell, woman. I am telling you that I want you any way I can get you. However, it’s still me wanting you. Not some other guy you can make up in your head. It’s always going to be me, Prin. Get used to it. I’ll bend as much as I can on most things. But, baby, when it comes to your safety, or health or whatever is really important like that, I won’t compromise. You’re too important to be casual about, Prin. Do you get that?
Prinlilah: Gray, you don’t play fair. How is a girl supposed to resist that?
Winstonsecur: It’s working then. You’re not supposed to resist, silly woman.
Prinlilah: Yeah, well, we are talking, aren’t we? I don’t appear to be resisting worth shit. I’ve got to tell you, Gray. I am an independent woman. I’ve gotten used to it and I like it. Don’t expect a clinging vine because that is not who you’re talking to. I’m afraid that my intense sexual needs might have given you the wrong impression. I’m still not clear you get that. Submission happens in the bedroom for me, that’s it.
Winstonsecur: Oh, yeah. I get that from you, Prin. I know you have been alone a long time and are used to making your own decisions. So have I. But this relationship takes both of us being willing to bend, hon. We can do that. I know we can. I guess I don’t want to imply that I am willing to be someone I’m not. I want you to know the real me, honey. I want you to want the real me. We can make this work, Baby Girl. We just have to keep talking. Keep being in each other’s lives. That’s all I’m asking for right now.
Prinlilah: You make it sound easy. This doesn’t feel easy, Gray. Wanting you is hard. It’s scary. You’re scary. It feels like you are going take over my life until I just disappear into an obedient shadow. I can’t do that, Gray. Yet, I can’t stop wanting to feel your arms around me. I can’t stop craving what you do to me. Oh, God, it hurts sometimes, Gray. How do we make it stop hurting without ripping each other up? Damn, it’s late and I am getting all “girl gushy”. Sorry.
Winstonsecur: Oh, my sweet Baby Girl. I want that “girl gushy” stuff more than I want to breathe right now. You feed my soul when you show me your heart. Please, don’t ever be sorry for being honest with me. All I can promise is to be willing to move heaven and earth to make you happy, baby. I want to hold you ‘til the end of time. I hurt with it, too. So, we are going to have to find a way to make this work.
Prinlilah: I hope we can, Gray. We are an intense combination. Even through this computer, you make me want. You make me need things I have never needed before. Will we burn each other up? I’m so tired, Gray. Yet, I burn. Would it turn to ashes if we burned like this on a daily basis?
Winstonsecur: I don’t think so, baby. You just have to be there to find out. I can’t stop wanting you. I don’t think I ever will. We have to try.
Prinlilah: Okay. I have to get some sleep now. I need to think, too. You promised to back off a bit. Are you going to let us slow down?
Winstonsecur: Get some sleep, sweetheart. I will be here 24/7. The computer is always on. We’ll talk some more tomorrow. You should know that my staff really hates you right now. I have been a bear this week. Don’t make me tell them you are refusing to talk to me again. Things could get ugly.
Prinlilah: LOL As long as you don’t know my address, I’m safe. I’ll remember that.
Winstonsecur: Right. These people invade countries without anyone noticing. The things they don’t know haven’t been thought of yet. LOL Now go to bed!
Prin shut down her computer and sat back. What had she just done? That man was insidious—he snuck under each and every one of her defenses with effortless ease. Every one of her logical arguments drifted away into nothingness under his relentless attention. Resisting him was like trying to resist the wind. Hopeless. It was especially hopeless when she didn’t want to resist him at all.
Dragging herself wearily to bed, she shucked the sweats and slid under the covers. But her mind wouldn’t stop racing around in circles. Like a rat in a maze, she kept going over the same ground and coming to the same dead end. Nothing had changed. Well, none of the facts had changed. She’d just dug herself deeper into the Gray Winston black hole of emotional turmoil.
Falling in love with him had never been a question. That issue had been settled that night in his arms. She loved him. She loved his iron backbone, she loved his relentless sexual appetite, and she loved his tender possessiveness that could turn fierce and growly. She loved the way he was unafraid to show her he wanted her. She loved his humor, how he laughed at himself.
Curling into a fetal ball under the covers, she relaxed and sank into him. Pretending that he could really be all hers, just for a bit. Pretending nothing else mattered but them. What it would be like if they could be together? Together. It was a nice fantasy to fall asleep to.
Chapter Seven
Saturday morning dawned bright and clear. Gray didn’t appreciate the fact that his view of it was uninterrupted by sleep. He was sprawled across his bed alone, watching the sun come up and thinking about the woman who should be tucked up beside him.
What the hell was it that she felt could keep her from him? He couldn’t imagine a thing that would do it for him. He’d been real busy imagining since she signed off the computer last night. The shit he came up with only made him mad. It was useless. The logical side of his brain was disgusted with all this conjecture.
His inner beast had been making an awful racket. That idiot was beating against his cage and bellowing his displeasure at not having the woman here. Now! Regardless of whatever she thought she wanted. She belonged with him, damn it! His logical man agreed, but pointed out that they might need some sleep between now and that point in the future when she was here where she belonged. The beast screamed at the emptiness of sleep. He wanted to fuck. Fuck her until she couldn’t move. Fuck her so hard and deep that she didn’t remember the feel of life without his cock jammed up in her somewhere. Fuck her until she admitted she belonged to him. Fuck her until she agreed never to leave him.
Gray was afraid and he didn’t like it. Not one damn bit. He’d never fel
t fear like this before. Ten months of torture hadn’t produced fear like this. He’d never doubted there was an end to the torture. As long as he was alive, Rem would come for him. Anything could be endured if there was an end in sight. Even when he’d almost lost his life several times on missions, he hadn’t been afraid like this. Damn it to hell and back! He needed that woman.
The sun was fully up now. Gray rolled off the bed and headed for the bathroom. He stood in the shower and looked down at himself. His erection stabbed up and demanded relief. His whole body hurt with wanting her. His head pounded, his chest ached, his eyes were scratchy and his legs felt wobbly. It felt like he’d spent the night in a bar fight instead of on the bed. Shit, damn and fuck!
Leaning a tired forearm against the cool tile wall, Gray rested his forehead on it and reached for his dick with the other hand. He suspected jerking off in the shower was about to become a habit. He took the job in hand and cursed in a steady stream, closing his eyes just long enough to picture her coming apart in his arms. His whole body convulsed as he spewed seed onto the shower wall in long, shuddering streams. It took a while for the trembling to subside and let him to get back to the business of actually having a shower. He shook his head in disgust. He was in deep, desperately deep.
Over breakfast, Gray contented himself with the thought that there was always Plan B. She’d damn well better work with him on Plan A, or at least Plan B. Gray knew Plan C would belong to the beast. She really wouldn’t like Plan C. Nope, Plan C would piss her off big time and probably involve jail time for him. Neither of them would like Plan C.
Later that morning, he was again sitting at his desk staring at the phone. His hand actually rested on it while he listed in his head again all the reasons he couldn’t just pick it up and hear her voice. The phone rang and he snatched it up.
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