by Cora Reilly
“Oh God,” I gasped, and gasped, and gasped but couldn’t breathe. Dante lifted me into his arms again and carried me into the bedroom where he lowered me on our bed. He took off his shoes and lay down beside me, cradling my face until my frantic gaze settled on his intense eyes. “Shh, Val. It’s okay.”
But it wasn’t, couldn’t be. “I killed him.” I squeezed my eyes shut against the images my mind created, but they were even more colorful against the black canvas of my closed eyelids. “I killed him,” I repeated over and over again, until I wasn’t sure if the words still left my lips or if it was an echo in my ears.
“Val,” Dante said firmly, his fingers on my face tightening. “Look at me.”
I peeled my eyes open, staring at the beautiful face of my husband. Beautifully cold. Not a flicker of regret.
“You did what was right.”
Did I? Sometimes it was hard to see the line between right and wrong from all the death and blood plastering the mob’s paths.
“You did what you had to do to protect me.” His fingers stroked my chin. “I won’t ever forget it. Never.”
“I told you that you could trust me,” I whispered.
“I know, and I do.”
I wanted to believe him, but he still hadn’t said anything about our child, still hadn’t admitted that it was his, that he’d been wrong to accuse me of cheating. Too proud, too stubborn. He must have known he was wrong all along, because if he’d ever really thought I had cheated on him he would have moved heaven and earth to find the man who touched me. I didn’t want to think about it, but as my mind shied away from one hurtful topic, it latched onto the next. “Did you get the names of the other traitors?”
Dante nodded grimly. “Yes. I’m fairly sure. Enzo and a few others are taking care of the less important rats right now.”
“What…what did you do to Antonio?” I knew I shouldn’t ask. It wouldn’t make things better. It would only add fuel to the fire that was my guilt.
Dante shook his head. “He’s dead, Val.”
“I know but what did you do to him.”
“If it’s any consolation for you, I focused my main attention on Raffaele. Antonio got a quicker death than any other traitor.”
Tears pooled in my eyes. “Thank you.” What kind of twisted world did we live in that I thanked my husband for killing my first husband quickly, for keeping the torture to a minimum. A world of blood and death. A world our child would be born into and grow up in, and maybe one day if he was a boy, he’d follow in Dante’s footsteps and kill and torture others to stay in power. An endless circle of blood and death.
Dante searched my eyes. “Val, you’re worrying me.”
I raised my head and pressed my tear-slick lips against Dante’s. He didn’t pull back, only watched me with furrowed brows. I drew back a couple of inches, my fingers curling in his hair, my eyes pleading. “Please,” I said quietly. “Make love to me. Just today. I know you don’t love me. Pretend, just for tonight. Hold me in your arms for once.”
Tumultuous wasn’t the right word to describe the look in Dante’s eyes, but it was the only thing that came to my mind. “God, Val.” He released a harsh breath, then he pressed his lips to mine, parting them and tasting me, tasting my tears, my sorrow, and somehow taking some of it away with every brush of his mouth. His hand ghosted over my collarbone, my arm, my side, my hip, like a whisper of a touch, barely there and yet the only thing I was aware of. He sat up and quickly unbuttoned his shirt before throwing it mindlessly to the ground and then his bare chest was pressed up against me, so warm and solid. He left cotton-soft kisses on my temple, forehead and cheek before he found my lips again for a kiss that took my breath away. His hand discovered my breast as if for the very first time, fingertips laying feather-light touches on my skin, laying claim to me without the usual burning possessiveness. I moaned against his mouth as his fingers traveled the length of my body to slip between my legs. He nudged them apart and then he lightly explored my folds, gentle and unhurried. I whimpered softly but Dante silenced me with another kiss before he nuzzled my neck and collarbone. When his lips finally closed around my nipple, I was already panting. Dante slipped one, then two fingers into me before he got off the bed and stood. He made quick work of his remaining clothes, and then he was on the bed, gloriously naked and hard. He settled between my legs and lowered himself to his elbows, molding our bodies together like we were one. He didn’t enter me. Instead his hand caressed my leg and raised it until it was curled over his back. His erection pressed against my inner thigh but Dante didn’t seem in any hurry. He kissed me, his eyes dark and probing as they watched me. He lightly petted my breast, making me ache for him to finally claim me.
He must have seen the need on my face because he reached between us and lined his erection up with my entrance. His claim didn’t come in one swift, hard move as so often in the past. It was a slow conquest and my walls yielded to him as they always did. I gasped when he was buried completely inside me. Dante cradled the back of my head, his forearms braced to both sides of my face and then he started to move in me. Time seemed to stand still as our bodies glided against each other. Was this love-making?
I wrapped my arms around Dante, trying to bring him even closer. Dante didn’t resist. He brought his face down to mine, kissed my lips, then my cheeks until his mouth brushed my ear. “I should have made love to you before,” he said in a low voice.
And I cried in response. I wasn’t sure if this was part of his pretense, and I didn’t care. In this moment, it felt real and that was all that mattered to me. When Dante shuddered under his release, he took me with him, and even afterward as he started to soften inside me, he didn’t pull away.
He lay on top of me, still buried in me, his breathing fanning over my cheek. I knew many women in our world preferred a beautiful lie to the harsh truth any day, and for the first time, I understood. After all that had happened today, I allowed myself that weakness. Tomorrow would be the time to face reality.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
When I left the house before breakfast the next morning, Dante wasn’t there. I hadn’t expected him to, he hadn’t lain beside me when I’d woken either. Yesterday I’d forced him to let me closer than he was comfortable with and now he would be pulling away until we were barely civil again. I waved Taft over and he approached me at once. “I need you to drive me to Bibiana,” I said as we walked into the garage. He grabbed the keys, slid into the car and then we were already off. Time was important. “Hurry,” I added when we pulled away from the house. Taft didn’t ask why.
The moment we parked in front of Bibiana’s house, I got out of the car and hurried toward the entrance door. I rang the bell. I knew Tommaso was still home because there wasn’t a guard sitting in a car in the street. I’d hoped for that.
I could hear Tommaso shouting angrily and then there were quick steps and Bibiana opened the door, still in her bathrobe. Her eyes widened with confusion when she saw me. “Val? Tommaso told me what happened yesterday. Are you okay?” There was a hand-shaped bruise on her cheek and it made my decision easier.
I pulled her against me in a hug and pushed the vial with poison into her palm. “Nobody knows I have this. It’s poison, Bibi. If you really want to be free, then slip it into his breakfast today. Tomorrow it’ll be too late. Today we can still blame it on the traitors. Nobody will ask questions.” I straightened with a smile, my face the mask I’d learned from Dante. Bibi smiled back but there was surprise and incredulity and gratefulness in her eyes.
“Bibiana, what’s taking you so long?” Tommaso bellowed as he trudged down the staircase. He paused when he spotted me. Bibiana quickly hid the poison vial in her bathrobe.
“I’m sorry for disturbing you,” I said. “I only wanted to make sure Bibiana knew I’m alright. I don’t have much time though. I need to get back home.”
“Dante called for a meeting of the entire Outfit. Just got the email. I suppose you can’t give me details abo
ut what went down?”
I shook my head. “I should really go.” I gave Bibiana a smile, then I turned on my heel and walked back to the car. The last thing I heard was Bibi telling Tommaso she would make him a quick breakfast before he left.
This was the second man I’d condemned to death. This time, however, there was no guilt.
***
“Valentina, I’d like to talk to you,” Dante said before disappearing back in his office. I hesitated. This was the first time that Dante had actually asked me into his office for a conversation. All the times before, I had to seek him out.
Worry gnawed at my insides as I stepped into his office and closed the door behind me. Dante was facing the window but turned to me. For a long time his blue eyes searched my face. “Tommaso didn’t show up at the meeting I’d called.”
I forced my face to stay expressionless. “So?”
“The men I sent over to get him found him dead in his living room. Poisoned.”
“What about Bibiana?” I asked, trying to sound worried and shocked. She hadn’t sent me a text or tried to call me. It would have been too risky anyway.
“She’s with her parents now, but I’ll have to drive over there now to question her.”
I froze. “Why?”
“Because as Capo I need to investigate when one of my men gets killed.” Dante slowly advanced on me. “Of course, I’m fairly sure I know what happened.”
I raised my chin as he stopped in front of me. “You do?” I held his gaze, anything else would have looked guilty, even if it was probably too late for that anyway.
“You are best friends with Bibiana and you wanted to help her.” I didn’t say anything but he didn’t seem to expect me to. He continued in the same quiet, smooth voice. “Antonio gave you poison when he asked you to kill me, didn’t he?”
I considered lying to him, but I needed him on my side and he wouldn’t take being lied to kindly. “Yes,” I said softly.
“You didn’t tell me about it because you knew it was your chance to help Bibiana, so you took it to her and told her to blame it on Raffaele.”
“Did she say that?”
“She mentioned Raffaele visited them yesterday when my men took her to her parents, but she was too hysterical to say much.”
Was Bibi regretting what she’d done? Or had her breakdown been for show? “So why don’t you believe it was Raffaele?”
Dante’s eyes narrowed. “Because he would have mentioned it when I interrogated him.”
I nodded. “So what now?”
Dante shook his head. “Goddamnit, Valentina. You should have come to me.”
“I came to you. I asked you if there was something you could do against Tommaso, but you said there wasn’t.”
“You asked me to kill him and I told you I couldn’t because he wasn’t a traitor.”
I scoffed. “As if that matters. You are a killer, Dante. You can kill whoever you want. Don’t tell me you’ve never killed for other reasons than protecting the Outfit.”
Dante gripped my shoulders, bringing us even closer. “Of course, I have. But I told you ‘no’ and you should have listened to me.”
“Because your word is law,” I said mockingly.
“Yes,” Dante said in a low voice. “Even for you.”
“I would do it again. I don’t regret freeing Bibi of that cruel bastard. I only regret that I had to go behind your back but you left me no choice.”
Dante’s eyes flashed. “I left you no choice? You can’t go around killing my men!”
“He deserved it. You should have seen what he did to Bibi. You should have wanted to kill him for how he treated an innocent woman, wife or not.”
“If I killed every man in the Outfit who treated women badly, I’d be left with half of my soldiers. This is a life of brutality and cruelty, and many soldiers don’t understand that as Made Men we should protect our family from it, and not unleash our anger on them. They know I don’t approve of their actions. That’s all I can do.”
“But I was handed the chance to do something and I did.”
“You helped a wife murder her husband. Some men in my position would find it unsettling to be with a woman who doesn’t hesitate to use poison.”
My eyes grew wide. “I gave Bibi a chance, a choice. That doesn’t mean I would kill you. I would fight you if you ever treated me like Tommaso did with Bibi. Tommaso preyed on Bibi’s weakness. She was given to that old bastard when she was only eighteen and she never knew how to defend herself against him. He’s had four years to be a better man, to treat her decently. He failed. Our marriage has nothing to do with theirs. You don’t need to beat and rape me to feel like a man, and I wouldn’t let you. And anyway, I’m not vengeful, or I wouldn’t have swallowed how you treated me in the last few months, how you accused me of cheating. And Bibi never loved Tommaso, so…” I trailed off, clamping my lips shut. The last part wasn’t supposed to slip out.
Dante’s fingers on my shoulders loosened. I looked away from his penetrating gaze, unable to stand it.
“I’m not worried that you’d poison me. As I said before, I trust you,” he said after a while, dropping his hands from my shoulders. “But I’ll have to investigate Tommaso’s death.”
“You won’t punish Bibi, will you?” I asked, terrified. “Please, Dante, if you care about me at all, you’ll rule that Tommaso’s murder was related to the traitors and that Bibi is innocent. She’s gone through too much already.”
“There might be people out there who won’t believe Bibiana wasn’t involved in Tommaso’s death exactly for the reasons you stated before. She had reason to hate him. She had reason to kill him.”
“Then blame it on me. I could have done it behind Bibi’s back to help her.”
“And then what?” Dante asked quietly.
“Then you punish me and not her.”
“And what if punishment for such a crime would be death in turn? Eye for an eye, Valentina.”
I stared, tears brimming in my eyes. “Don’t hurt, Bibi. Just don’t. Without me, she would have never found a way to kill him. It was as much my fault as it was hers. I will share whatever punishment you inflict on her.”
“I fear you’re saying that because you know I won’t punish you,” Dante said, a dark smile on his lips.
“You won’t?”
Dante kissed me hard, then pulled back and lightly brushed my abdomen. Was it because of our baby? Or was I reading too much into the gesture? Or maybe he’d touched my stomach by accident. “As long as I rule the Outfit, you won’t be harmed.”
He stepped back. “I need to go talk to Bibiana now.”
“Let me go with you,” I said hastily.
“Your father and my Consigliere will be there as well, so don’t interrupt. I don’t want them to suspect you. Your father would overlook it, but I would hate to have to force Rocco into silence over this.”
***
It had been a while since I’d been at Bibiana’s childhood home. I never liked her parents much. That hadn’t changed when they’d forced Bibi into a marriage with an old man. My father and Rocco Scuderi were waiting in front of the door for us. When we walked up to them, Papà pulled me into a hug, kissed my temple and pressed his palm against my abdomen. “So how are you?”
I could feel Dante’s eyes on us. Scuderi, too, was watching with hawk-eyes. I wasn’t sure if he knew about my pregnancy. It wasn’t public knowledge yet, but soon it would be hard to hide. A closer look was already enough to raise suspicions. “I’m good,” I said in a whisper. Papà nodded, then stepped back. “Are you here to support Bibiana?”
I gave him a nod, but was distracted when the door opened and Bibiana’s parents welcomed us into their house. Bibiana was in the living room, wrapped into a blanket. I rushed over to her and pulled her into a tight hug. “I did it. I really did it,” she whispered into my ear.
“Shhh,” I murmured, patting her back. When I pulled away, Dante, my father and Rocco Scuderi stood b
eside us. Bibi stiffened, eyes fearful as they darted between us. Her parents hovered in the doorway. If Bibi had been my child, I wouldn’t have left her side in a moment like this.
“They’re here to question you because of Tommaso’s death. It’s standard procedure. Everything will be fine,” I told her.
Dante approached us. “It would be best if we could have a word alone with Bibiana,” he said to me. Bibiana’s parents left without a word of protest. I stood but didn’t move. Dante’s imploring gaze made me back away a few steps. Bibiana rose, then looked at Dante fearfully as he stood before her. She was practically cowering and it brought out my protective side, but Dante shot me a warning glare. He wanted me to trust him, to let him handle this, and I knew I had no choice. After an encouraging smile at Bibi, I left the living room, but I didn’t go far. I pressed my ear against the door, trying to listen in on their conversation. They spoke too quietly, which would have been a good sign under normal circumstances. No raised voices should be a positive thing but Dante was his most dangerous when he was quiet.
Fifteen minutes later, I heard steps approaching the door and quickly backed away. Papà opened the door and beckoned me in. “Everything okay,” he said when he saw my worried expression. I walked in. Bibi sat on the sofa, her cheeks wet with tears, while Dante and Scuderi stood near the window, talking in quiet voices. I hurried over to her and sat. She gripped my hand immediately and I squeezed. Her parents came in when Dante turned to us. “The men most likely responsible for Tommaso’s death are dead. There’s no punishment to dole out, so I rule the case closed.” I almost sagged with relief.
“Does that mean we are allowed to look for a new husband for our daughter? Recently the habit of waiting a year has been loosened,” Bibiana’s father said and was of course referring to me. That bastard. Bibiana had barely been freed from one husband they had chosen for her and they were already eager to find someone new.
