“Is she talking to the panther?” Jo-Jo whispered to Maggie as he drew cautiously nearer.
Pandora narrowed her eyes on Jo-Jo and jerked her head toward my cottage. We will talk in private.
Jo-Jo about climbed into Maggie’s arms as Pandora rose and trotted across the yard into the shadows. Good thing my porch light was off. I didn’t need Hugh Lister spotting her.
I looked at Maggie. “Pandora has a message for me.”
“Fine. Go find out what it is so we can get back to work with Jo-Jo.”
Oh, yeah, Jo-Jo’s act. What with the neighbor who hates us almost catching us with a shape-shifting panther who now talks to me, I’d almost forgotten my priorities. Silly me.
I plopped on one of the tiki barstools facing Pandora. My mother drilled manners into me, but she never covered a formal visit from a shape-shifter. Should I start the conversation?
“Uh, thank you for coming,” I said. Constantly striving to be a gracious hostess, that’s me. “What do you want to tell me?”
The message is from Triton.
My heartbeat faltered. Triton was my first crush, the long-lost friend with whom I’d shared a strong and mutual telepathy. He was the only other soul I’d shared that gift with until now.
Pandora swiped a paw at my foot, forcing me to focus.
“How do you know Triton?”
Pandora simply blinked. Nothing stonewalls like a cat.
I sighed. “What is the message?”
Triton will meet with you soon, but he sends a warning and a talisman.
Aha! Triton was nearby, probably in town, just as I’d suspected. After one hundred and fifty-six years of telepathic silence, he’d appeared a few months ago just long enough for me to get a glimpse of him standing on a sand dune. He’d left a golden dolphin charm in the sand, one like he’d worn during our childhood. Then he’d vanished. I’d mentally searched for and found a shadow of him, but he blocked me.
Yes, he is blocking your telepathy, Princess Vampire, for both of your sakes. There is great evil rising. You must beware of betrayal, of treachery.
I shivered. “Betrayal from whom?”
Triton did not say. You are to be on your guard.
“That’s all? Does Triton need help?”
He needs only for you to be safe.
Okay, I could do that, but questions whirled. “Um, are you Triton’s panther?”
Pandora looked affronted, and I rephrased the question.
“What I mean is, who takes care of you? Do you live with someone?”
Pandora tilted her regal head as if considering whether to answer. Old Wizard is my closest companion.
“I see.” And I did as I received a vague mental picture of a bearded man from Pandora. “Where is Old Wizard? Does he know you’re here?”
While the Council of Ancients meets, I am charged to watch over you.
I didn’t know what or who the Council of Ancients was, but hearing the phrase gave me goose bumps the size of hives. What did my body know that my brain didn’t? How was Triton involved with this wizard and Pandora? Would Pandora tell me if I offered to pet sit while the wizard was gone?
Pandora read my thoughts and shook her head. I live wild. I will patrol and keep watch from a distance, but you must be alert to danger.
“You won’t answer questions about Triton?”
I cannot. It is for him to tell you.
“The way things are going, it’ll be another century before he does that,” I groused. “All right, Pandora, I’ll be careful, and um, thank you for your help.”
You are polite for a vampire. Pandora rose, padded the few steps to my barstool, and thrust her head into my lap. You must remove the chain now.
I hesitated. My nose didn’t itch—my usual reaction to silver—but then a necklace or ring here and there didn’t always set off the reaction. Now the one tourist who’d been draped with enough Native American rings and necklaces and bangles to be a walking jewelry store had worn just the amount to make my allergy go bonkers.
Pandora must’ve read my thoughts again. She nudged me with her nose. The talisman is pewter and the chain is steel. Neither will burn you, but there is no clasp on the chain. You must slip it over my head.
“Okay, but no biting if this hurts.”
It will not hurt.
And it didn’t because, as I sank my fingers into Pandora’s richly furred neck, she shrank herself just enough for me to lift the chain off before she returned to full size.
Weird to watch, freakier to be touching her while she changed sizes.
“Cesca, don’t move.”
I flinched at the sound of Saber’s voice. Well, what did he expect when he startled me? Pandora merely backed up, sat, and stared at him.
So did I, but not so much with the usual lust as with concern. He pointed the business end of his matte-black semiautomatic at Pandora.
“It’s okay, Saber,” I said, smiling my assurance. “Pandora is giving me a message.”
“Pandora?” Saber shifted his weight. “Is this the same cat that had our French Bride killer by the neck a few months ago?”
“Yes.”
“And why was his head in your lap?”
“Pandora’s a female, and she was giving me this.” I held up the chain with the charm dangling from it.
“So you’re good here?”
“I’m fine, Saber. Better than fine. I can communicate with Pandora telepathically.”
Saber relaxed but didn’t holster his weapon. He held the Glock at his side, and I couldn’t blame him. He and other slayers had hunted werecreatures until they were extinct. Last time we’d seen Pandora, I’d explained that she was a magical shifter, not a were. Weres, real lycanthropes, had an earthier smell and an energy signature that lacked a spark of magick.
I met Pandora’s amber-eyed gaze as she rose.
I will be on guard. Remember to do the same.
With that, Pandora loped across the yard past Saber and sailed over the fence gate. I hopped off the barstool and went to Saber as he holstered his gun.
“How did the stakeout go at Hot Blooded?”
“Slow,” he said, sliding an arm around my waist. He dropped a kiss on my nose, then on my waiting mouth. “Did I hear right? That the cat—”
“Pandora.”
“—brought you a message you heard telepathically?”
“You did. Isn’t that cool?”
“It’s different. What was the message?”
“To beware of betrayal and treachery.”
“That’s succinct. Are the chain and charm part of the message?”
“It’s supposed to be a talisman.”
Saber caught the two-inch pewter charm in his palm and squinted at it. I didn’t have to squint.
“A mermaid sitting on a treasure map?” Saber said. “That’s supposed to ward off evil?”
“Maybe it looks lame, but Pandora said Triton sent it with the message.”
“Triton, as in your old boyfriend? He’s back in town?”
“I don’t know where he is,” I admitted. “Triton is blocking our connection.”
I balled up the charm and chain in my palm to stick them in my shorts pocket, and startled when a strong, white noise buzz vibrated from the pewter. Interesting, and something I’d have to explore later. Like when Saber was asleep.
Right now, I needed to deal with a boyfriend who, in spite of his cop look, I could swear was a little jealous.
“You still want to find Triton,” Saber said flatly.
“Well, yeah. I want to smack him upside the head. Repeatedly. With a sledgehammer.”
Saber cracked a smile. “I remember when you wanted to smack me every other minute.”
“And now I want to kiss you just as often. But only you.”
He took the hint and brushed his mouth over mine. The kiss was too short but satisfying.
“So, a mermaid and a treasure map. Do they have special significance to you or Triton?”
/> “To me, mermaids mean the ocean, and treasure maps mean pirates. I don’t know what they could mean to Triton.”
“Pandora didn’t give you a hint?”
“Nope. She only mentioned a great evil, betrayal, and treachery, and said she’d be watching out for me.”
He shifted to gaze across the yard where Maggie and Jo-Jo sat in deep and earnest conversation. “I suppose she didn’t say who you should beware.”
I sighed. “No, but she would’ve told me if Jo-Jo was the threat. Besides, he’s only dangerous to an innocent joke.”
“He’s that bad?”
“He’s worse. Come on, I can’t leave Maggie stranded any longer.”
Arms around each other, we reached the patio just as Maggie looked ready to implode.
“No, no, no. Don Rickles could do insult comedy. From you, it would scare people stupid.” She spotted Saber and me and twisted to face us. “Tell him I’m right, and take over, Cesca. I have to go to bed.”
“No problem, Maggie, thanks for helping.”
She started off, then paused. “What did Pandora say?”
With Jo-Jo there, instinct kept me mum about Triton. “Nothing critical. I’ll tell you tomorrow.”
Maggie nodded and went into the house. I plopped into the love seat with Saber and eyed Jo-Jo.
“Maggie’s right, you know. You don’t want to copy another comic, especially someone famous. You need to be yourself. Have your own style.”
“But myself isn’t funny anymore,” he grumped, slumping in his chair, “and my style was built on my vaudeville act.”
“Can you adapt that act to stand-up?”
“The bits won’t work without Jemina or another partner,” he said, a sudden gleam in his eyes.
I held up a hand. “No. I’ll do what I can to help you find an angle for your comedy act, but I’m not performing with you.”
“Then I’m doomed,” he intoned.
“You will be if you don’t stop moping. Being negative won’t get you anywhere, so let’s look at what’s possible. What kind of comedy do you want to do?”
“The kind I’ll get paid for.”
I grinned. “Good start. We know you can juggle. You could use that in your act.”
“But not with knives,” Saber warned.
Jo-Jo winced. “Agreed, but is juggling hip enough for a twenty-first century crowd?”
“You won’t know until you try.” I tapped my chin. “You need to relate to both humans and vampires.”
Jo-Jo gave me a double take. “You think vampires would come to see my act?”
“I don’t see why not, but your audiences need to see themselves and their lives in your jokes. In normal stuff like working, family issues, paying taxes, aging.”
“Vampires don’t have old age issues, honey,” Saber said.
“What if we did? What if we had to have—” I thought of the Jag Queens and grinned. “—false teeth. What would we do?”
Jo-Jo looked blank, but Saber grinned.
“Vampire denture cream,” he drawled. “Available in mint, cinnamon, and O positive.”
“Perfect,” I said, squeezing his hand.
“Can I use that?” Jo-Jo asked eagerly.
Saber shrugged. “Sure.”
“Okay, let me try one.” Jo-Jo frowned in concentration. “Taxes. Vampires live long enough to pay more taxes than a small country, but it’s not enough to clear the national debt.”
“Rough, but you’re getting the idea.”
Jo-Jo looked cautiously hopeful. “Do you think this will give me enough material for a whole act?”
“I’m no expert,” Saber warned, “but you could throw in one more thing.”
“What?” Jo-Jo and I asked in unison.
“Poke fun at vampire lore.”
I grinned at my honey. “You mean myths like being repelled by garlic and not having reflections in mirrors?”
“People will think that’s funny?”
“Depending on how you tell it, sure,” I said. “Plus you could defuse some of the fear people have about us by letting them laugh with you.”
“If Vlad hears I’m making fun of vampires, he’ll kill me.”
“Not while Saber and I stand behind you. Besides, I thought you wanted to take charge of your afterlife.”
Jo-Jo straightened. “I do.”
“Then stop worrying about Vlad,” I said.
“Yeah,” Saber drawled, “and start worrying about how you’re going to teach Cesca to fly.”
FIVE
I stiffened. “Saber, Jo-Jo does not need to worry about teaching me to fly.”
“I don’t know. From what Maggie said, Abe’s Traffic School worried about teaching you to drive.”
Jo-Jo looked appalled. “Don’t tell me Her Highness is a bad driver.”
“I’m a great driver,” I snapped. “I don’t tailgate or lane weave or cut people off.”
“But you do have a lead foot, and you can’t parallel park to save your life.”
“Afterlife,” I snipped, “and parallel parking is overrated.”
“All I know is that the driving test examiner was afraid you’d bite him if he didn’t pass you.”
“I would never!” I sputtered, hoping I didn’t blush. I hadn’t exactly soothed that nervous examiner’s fears.
Darn it all, I’d hoped Saber would forget about the flying lessons. He’d pushed me to claim my vampireness since we met, and overhearing the French Bride killer rant about a passel of powers day-walkers were supposed to possess only made Saber shove harder. He said he wanted me to be all I could be. Heck, if that’s what I wanted, I’d join the Marines. They were looking for a few good vamps.
Flying? I wasn’t going up without a fight.
“Jo-Jo has enough to do, Saber,” I argued. “He needs to focus on working up an act. Besides, you told me not all vampires day-walk. Maybe flying isn’t one of my talents.”
“Day-walking isn’t a universal vamp trait, but flying is. You need to learn this skill.”
Jo-Jo picked up the banner. “Your consort is right, Highness. Knowing how to fly will strengthen your power base.”
“I don’t have a power base, Jo-Jo, and stop calling me Highness.”
“Yes, Your Graciousness.”
I gritted my teeth. “Gentlemen, now is not the time for flying lessons.”
“Why not? Jo-Jo can work with you right here.”
“In the backyard? Hugh Lister would have a stroke.”
“Maggie taught you to drive in empty parking lots. That’s an option.”
“Sure. Like playing Peter Pan in a parking lot won’t attract undue attention.”
“You are not wiggling out of this, Cesca.”
“Um, we can start with simple levitation,” Jo-Jo offered.
Saber and I snapped our heads in his direction.
“Simple?” I gulped. “Levitation is simple?”
“Of course. Any year-old vamp has mastered—uh, I mean, it’s basic enough.”
“See, Cesca?” Saber said. “Driving a car is probably more complicated.”
Translation? If I couldn’t fly, I was the lamest vampire on the planet. Which didn’t bother me, really. I’d rather cling to being as normal, as human, as possible. But, with Saber all but daring me, this was a challenge I had to meet. A fear I had to conquer. A vampire party trick I had to master or never hear the end of it.
I heaved a defeated sigh. “Up, up, and away.”
Jo-Jo popped out of his seat with more energy than he’d shown since he leaped atop the arbor. Saber flashed a diabolical grin, pulled me up, and paced after Jo-Jo to the shadows beside my cottage.
“Okay, Princess,” Jo-Jo said, rubbing his hands together. “Let’s start with an overview. Now watch what I do.”
I crossed my arms as he took three steps and just, well, lifted into the air until he hovered about two feet off the ground. It was as impressive as the one time I’d seen Ike fly, though Ike and his vamps
had taken more steps to get off the ground. Guess Jo-Jo was older and had more air miles.
When he sank down to the grass, he turned to me.
“Now you try.”
“No.”
Saber hip-bumped me. “Go on, Cesca.”
I planted my hands on my hips. “Saber, I walk all the time without that happening. I saw the mechanics, but that doesn’t tell me how to actually go up.”
“Princess, what don’t you understand?”
“How do you get your lift, Jo-Jo? Are you thinking ‘come fly with me’? ‘Walk this way’? Are you thinking happy little thoughts?”
“Uh, I believe I just expect to fly, and I do, but let me go over the steps again.”
Jo-Jo walked back to us, brows furrowed in concentration. He turned, took a breath, and started off. When he reached the fourth step, the one that should’ve hit only air, he stumbled. Muttering something colorful, he started off again, and then stumbled again.
Houston, we have a problem. Failure to launch.
Jo-Jo faced us with chagrin. “Maybe we should try a different approach.”
“Maybe we should do this later.”
“Now, Cesca, you don’t want Jo-Jo to feel like he failed as your teacher, do you?”
I glanced at Jo-Jo’s embarrassed expression. “No.”
“Plus,” Saber said, leaning close and whispering, “it would be hot to levitate during sex.”
My knees went a little weak, and I had to clear my throat, but I was suddenly motivated. Highly motivated.
“Bring it on, Jo-Jo.”
My flight instructor nodded. “Okay, Highness, have you ever flown by accident, without meaning to? Or come close to flying?”
I shook my head, but Saber contradicted me.
“Yes, you have. You flew into my line of fire when that killer captured you in March.”
“That was jumping, Saber, not flying.”
“You hovered.”
“I did?”
“You did.” He pitched his voice low and sexy again. “Now jump for Jo-Jo so we can all call it a night.”
For the record, white vampires might jump like NBA stars, but this white vamp can’t fly.
We worked for twenty minutes, and I did have some success. I never figured out exactly how, but I finally managed a leaping hover about six inches off the ground that lasted for all of three seconds. Still, it was a toss-up whether Jo-Jo would be funny before I could fly.
Last Vampire Standing Page 5
