“I—no. I didn’t think I could.” She was panting now, her breaths coming in rapid, shallow gasps. As Fionn met her gaze, looking up at her from her cunt, LeeAnn’s eyes were wild, almost terrified. “Fionn! Help me!”
“Just let it happen, baby. Come for me.”
With a long, loud scream, she did. Her clit throbbed beneath his tongue in time with the contractions of her orgasm. Moisture rushed from her, letting him know she was ready for him even as she continued to come. Fionn couldn’t shove his pants down fast enough. As it was, he got them to his knees before mounting her and shoving himself inside her.
LeeAnn cried out. He couldn’t tell if it was with pleasure or pain so he stilled, ready to pull out of her. But she dug her heels into his ass and held him inside her as she adjusted. She clamped her teeth between his neck and shoulder, which was almost his undoing. Tremors still ran through her body, making her shiver in his arms, but she didn’t ask him to stop or to let her up so he figured any discomfort was minimal. Or at least not bad enough she couldn’t deal. It had definitely been a while since she’d had sex. If she were any tighter, he doubted he’d have been able to fit inside her. As it was, it was all he could do to hold himself still and not fuck her with all the force of his lust.
When she began to move on him, Fionn gave a shallow pump of his hips, forcing himself to go slow. Each contraction of her little pussy felt like she was strangling him. While he was glad she wasn’t a virgin, there was an unexpected, and unwelcome, satisfaction in knowing she hadn’t had frequent lovers. Which was when he realized he was resting his forehead against hers while they both tried to adjust to the unfamiliar sensations.
He was just about to lift himself off her, to separate himself from her mentally and physically—except for his dick in her pussy—when she opened those big brown eyes of hers, looking directly into his own eyes, and…smiled. Framing his face with her small hands, she pulled him back to her for a kiss, and Fionn knew he was lost.
Instead of putting distance between them, Fionn found himself wrapping his arms around her tightly, one hand looped over her shoulder from beneath, the other wrapped tightly around her back. LeeAnn was as snug against him as possible when he began an easy, driving rhythm that soon turned into a hard, steady pounding. Through it all, she never broke eye contact, never wavered in her focus on him. When her breaths became ragged and her heart pounded so hard he could feel its steady beat against his chest, Fionn shifted slightly, bring one of her legs up to hook over his arm. The new position gave him better access to her when he tilted his hips just a little. He brushed over her clit with every stroke, wringing shudders and keening cries from her.
LeeAnn screamed again, her arms wrapped around him as tightly as his were holding onto her. With her orgasm and the sweet milking of her pussy, Fionn knew it was over for him.
His balls tightened. His cock swelled. Then, with one mind-scrambling spasm, he came. There was no way she didn’t feel him spurting inside her. He gave a brutal shout, his body helpless above her. Fionn couldn’t move, couldn’t think. The pleasure was nothing like he’d ever known or imagined. All those times he’d thought he’d known release with women he’d personally chosen, women he’d thought were the perfect bed partners both in form and sexual taste, paled in comparison to this. Hell, he might as well have been a virgin the differences were so vast.
Finding LeeAnn… He’d only thought he’d thawed his emotions when he’d had sex. Compared to this, everything he’d done in the past only emphasized how cold and unfeeling he’d really become.
With a stunned mind, unable to process everything that had just happened, Fionn rolled off LeeAnn. He lay there trying to get a grip on himself and his emotions when she stirred beside him.
Turning his head, Fionn glanced at her. She looked as stunned as he felt. But there was something else in her expression. Something like…awe.
Oh, bloody hell, no!
Like a shot, Fionn sat up, standing so fast he nearly tripped on his pants, which were still around his knees. With jerky movements, he pulled them up, fastening them on the way to the bathroom.
What the fuck had just happened?
Fionn splashed cold water over his face, scrubbing it with his hands for good measure. Truth was, no matter how hard he scrubbed he knew there was no way he’d ever get little LeeAnn Bates out of his mind. With one mind-blowing fuck, she’d filled in all the spaces in his heart. Allowed him to truly feel for the first time since he was a teenager.
So what the fuck did he do now?
Chapter Seven
What just happened? When Fionn had let out that war bellow and collapsed over her, LeeAnn had felt contentment and satisfaction unlike any she’d ever known. Not only had he taken her through a plane of utter bliss, but he’d guided her toward a path of sensual delight she could never stray from. LeeAnn need those sensations like an addict needed his next fix. Already her body stirred for more, her cunt weeping for his attention.
The he’d…left. Fionn hadn’t been able to get away from her fast enough. Gingerly, she stood from the bed. Finding his shirt discarded on the floor, she shrugged into it, then moved to the bathroom, following him. Fionn was drying his hands, his expression completely blank.
“Did I do something wrong?” She tried to ask the question as if his answer really didn’t matter. But it did. She was already embarrassed at her level of inexperience. To think he hadn’t enjoyed what she’d considered life altering was too humiliating for words.
He met her gaze in the mirror. Gone was the intense and fiery passionate lover of a few minutes before. In his place was that man who’d seen too much death. Those eyes that had held so much feeling before, the eyes that told her how much he needed her in that moment, were now cold. Dead. He’d flipped a switch inside himself and she was afraid she’d never again find the man she’d just wholeheartedly given her body to.
“No,” Fionn said simply. But there was nothing simple about it. There was so much going on inside Fionn, LeeAnn had no idea where to begin.
Slowly, one hand extended to him as she might approach a wild animal, LeeAnn stepped closer to him. Of course, he didn’t move away. That would show weakness on his part. So she laid her palm gently on his cheek, cupping his face tenderly.
“Please don’t leave me,” she whispered. “I don’t know what just happened between us, but it was wonderful.”
He gripped her wrist, removing her hand. Expression never changing, he said, “We fucked. That’s all that happened.”
LeeAnn couldn’t have been more surprised if he’d struck her. She jerked a little in reaction. Stepped back two steps as if he’d shoved her backward. “I thought…” She lifted her chin. “It felt like more than a simple fuck.”
“What would you call it then?” His smirk, instead of sexy like it had been in the bar, was now a cruel twist of his lips. “Making love?” He gave the phrase a distasteful slur. As if the latter description of their act was even cruder than the former.
“I know people don’t experience that kind of pleasure with someone every day. Or the connection.”
He laughed then, throwing his towel on the vanity where he’d been washing and drying his hands. The gesture hurt almost as much as his words. He’d washed his hands of her.
“You’re delusional. I knew you were a little simple minded when it came to the real world, but really, LeeAnn. Killing time until your father does as he’s told is hardly the basis for a relationship.”
He was right. She knew he was right, but LeeAnn couldn’t control the pain blossoming inside her chest. Unpracticed with emotions this raw, there was no way to stop the single tear that slid down her cheek. Not wanting Fionn to see her weakness, she turned to leave, but he brushed past her. Over his shoulder he said, “Bathroom’s all yours.”
Alone, LeeAnn angrily jerked off his shirt. The last thing she wanted was to wear his clothing. But even once she was free of the offending garment, she was still enveloped by his scent. Which onl
y increased her distress. Before she realized it, several tears streamed down her face. Angrily, she dashed them away with the back of her hand before turning on the shower. She needed to scrub herself clean.
It took twenty minutes, but she finally got herself under control and clean. It was in that cleaning she discovered what she should have known all along. When Foinn had said she was “simple minded about the real world,” he had been dead on. They hadn’t used protection. And Fionn had definitely come inside her.
***
Never had Fionn failed to use protection during sex. He’d come inside LeeAnn…and it had felt like a homecoming. Like he was supposed to claim her for his own. The ice inside him was steadily thawing and it was an uncomfortable feeling in the extreme.
He’d always thought of his detachment as a curse. What he’d felt during sex had been his way of reclaiming everything all the killing had taken away from him. He’d thought meaningless sex and the rush he got from it had been the glue holding his soul together. If that were true, he’d just had an infusion of molten metal to fill in those gaps and holes permanently. More than that, LeeAnn had formed a layer of steel around his soul that could never be ripped apart. It was in that moment of clarity, Fionn realized he really hadn’t been feeling during sex. He did nothing on the spur of the moment. He didn’t even come unless he was good and ready. Yet, with LeeAnn, everything had been out of control. Including—no, especially—him.
“I need my clothes,” she said quietly. Fionn turned around to find her wrapped in a towel with another one draped over her shoulders. She showed very little skin, careful to hold both towels in place so they couldn’t slip. This time, she didn’t meet his gaze, but looked off to one side, as if she couldn’t stand the sight of him.
“I left you a shirt,” he said, that stupid pain in his chest tightening and worsening once again.
Lifting her chin, she said defiantly, “I want my clothes.”
“Well, they’re in the wash.” He shrugged as he spoke. “It’s my shirt or nothing.”
Her little hands balled into fists. “I want. My clothes. Now.” It sounded like she spoke through gritted teeth.
“It’s either that shirt or the towels.” He shrugged. “Your choice.”
“Why are you doing this? I don’t want to wear your clothing. Why do you want me to wear your shirt anyway? I’d think you’d want to be a bit more impersonal since all we were doing was passing the time.”
“You’re right,” he said before he could stop himself. His voice was quiet, probably because he hadn’t really meant to say it out loud.
She blinked at him, obviously startled at his response. “Excuse me?”
Fionn sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face as he sank onto the bed. “I’m sorry, he admitted with little difficulty. The fact that he’d apologized at all was more than a little amazing. Fionn never apologized. At least, not to anyone other than his brothers. “Look. Let’s start over. I’ll admit I was a bit…harsh a while ago.”
“Start over?” She looked incredulous. “Start over from what? From you drugging me? From you kidnapping me? Or maybe from your scathing insults over my intellect?” The more she talked, the louder she got, the more furious she looked. And, damn, if that whole package didn’t make him want her all the more. Even now, his cock strained for her, needing the connection as much as his mind did. “I admit, I’m a bit consumed with my studies and research. But you can’t tell me what we experienced earlier was something normal. That was more than simply ‘passing the time,’ as you put it. I don’t expect a relationship to form from that one encounter, but I’d thought we’d at least talk about it or, at the very least, be civil to each other. If you felt half as good as I did, you’d want to experience it again, I’d think. You know, ‘pass the time’ some more.”
Fionn knew this! He did want to experience it again. Hell, he wanted that relationship she’d hinted at, but how to express that without seeming weak? Especially after he’d insulted her so horribly. Always in the back of his mind was the fact that fear equaled respect. But if he wanted something more from her—even if it was only a fuck buddy—could he really expect her to fear him? Did he even want her to fear him?
“I was wrong to say those things to you, LeeAnn. And you’re right. You may not be as world wise as I am, but what we experienced isn’t something that happens every day.”
“Then why were you so cruel?” When she sounded so hurt, her eyes glistening with unshed tears, Fionn thought his heart would be ripped from his chest. He’d done that to her. He’d never cared before. Could never be bothered because he was ice inside. No longer.
“Because I’m an ass,” he muttered. “And because you caught me off guard. You were supposed to be a means to an end. Snag you. Tell your father to back off. Release you. This”—he pointed from himself to her and back again—“was never supposed to happen.”
“Then why did it?”
“Fuck if I know.” There was a pause when both of them studiously looked away from each other. Fionn glanced at her only to find her staring at her bare toes as she fiddled with the carpet. “How about I get us dinner? You’ve got to be starving, and we could both use the distraction. You could tell me about your research.”
“I can’t. It’s classified.” She didn’t even bat an eyelash. Where before Fionn had seen complete trust, now she hedged, not trusting him even a little.
“You don’t work for the government. You’re a student.”
“I am. But the research we do in aerospace is invaluable to many factions. Though we don’t officially work for any government, most of our research is used by someone working for the government. So, naturally, there are all kinds of non-disclosure agreements and security classifications. It’s where they get their grant money. Not only that, but if something I’m working on does happen to end up in the United States arsenal, they’d frown on me flaunting all the juicy details. Oh.” She gave him a wide-eyed innocent look. “And I’d really like to not get kidnapped and tortured for information.”
Foinn scowled. “I’d never do that.”
“Wouldn’t you?”
OK, yeah. He would if it was necessary. “I don’t torture women,” was the only thing he could come up with.
“No. You seduce them to get what you want.”
“That wasn’t what happened, LeeAnn.” This was so frustrating! The fact was, she was absolutely right in her estimation of him. She just didn’t know the extent of it. He was a killer. Stone cold. Merciless.
“Really?” She sighed, turning from him. “I supposed it was as much my fault as it was yours. I didn’t rebuff you.”
“It was nobody’s fault. It just happened.” How could he sound so rational when he felt anything but? Inside, he was aching to pull her into his arms again. To experience all that passion he had before.
“Well then. I suppose there’s no reason for a repeat. I’ll make sure to get the Morning After pill from my pharmacy as soon as you let me go. But if it’s going to be a while, you might want to get it for me.”
Unable to suppress a sigh, Fionn acknowledged, “I suppose we needed to address that.” He didn’t want her pregnant, but if she did conceive, he wanted her to know he’d take care of her however she saw fit. His own father could have cared less that he’d gotten a bastard on his and Shannon’s mother. He’d only taken an interest in them to further his business exploits. But, if Fionn had gotten LeeAnn pregnant, he was damned well going to be active in the child’s life if she wanted to keep it. He’d love, cherish, and protect any child of his as well as the child’s mother. “Just so you know, I’ve never had unprotected sex and I’ve never used drugs. My last physical was six months ago and I’m clean.”
She shrugged, though he’d seen the widening of her eyes. Yeah, simple minded might not have been the best choice of words but she was definitely not used to having to think about such things. Which only made him wonder what she did with all that passion inside her.
“I—I�
��ve not had a physical in a while, but I haven’t had sex in a really long time. And never without a condom.” She seemed embarrassed about that, but Fionn felt something loosen inside his chest. Was that relief? Possessiveness? What the fuck? After so long of not giving a damn, all this shit with LeeAnn was mind numbing in its intensity.
“I gathered that,” he said in a rush. “I’m not worried. I only told you to ease your mind.”
She turned away from him, going to the window. With a delicate hand, she pushed back the heavy drape, gazing out into the night. Silvery moonlight bathed her face, making her look like some kind of angel. It also glistened off a tear that had slid down her cheek. Like the first one a few minutes ago, this one seemed to stab him in the chest, an accusation.
“I see,” she finally said. “When are you going to let me go?”
“I’ve hurt you.” There was no acknowledging her question. He had no idea how long he’d have to keep her against her will. Just then, it wasn’t important anyway. The fact that he kept hurting her was.
“No,” she said, not looking at him. “I can only hurt myself by letting your words affect me. I just haven’t had a lot of sexual interaction. I’m a bit off my game.”
“Come with me,” he said, holding out his hand. “I’ll get us something to eat and we’ll start over like I suggested.”
She didn’t turn to him. “I just want to go home,” she said in a small voice.
With a groan, Fionn moved to her, pulling her stiff body into his arms. “Fuck,” he muttered. “What the fuck are you doing to me?”
Chapter Nine
Fionn held her so tightly, LeeAnn could hardly breathe. But she had the distinct feeling he needed this. Granted, she wasn’t exactly the most experienced with emotions and the needs of a man, but Fionn was the most emotionally starved person she’d ever met. The man needed something and was desperately hoping she could give it to him, whether he admitted it or not. But what?
Fionn Page 4
