Man of Honor (Battle Scars)

by Diana Gardin

  With her helmet strapped firmly in place, one arm linked through Olive’s, Greta steps up beside us. The breeze stirs her gleaming raven hair. Berkeley frowns at Greta. Her natural grace and long, lithe limbs ensure that she’ll probably have no trouble handing the motored adventure vehicles we’ll be riding today.

  “Dammit, Greta.” Berkeley’s voice carries a note of annoyance. “Why do you have to be so damned good at everything?”

  Greta’s brows furrow as confusion puckers her forehead. “What?”

  Laughing, I smooth my hand down Greta’s arm. “Don’t worry about it, sweetie. Berkeley is going to hate every second of this, that’s all. But it’s too late to go back now, Berk.”

  Olive pipes up. Her deep-south drawl is super-size in this environment, and she’s almost trembling with excitement. “Berkeley, it’s gonna be so much fun! We can race the guys and show them how awesome we are.”

  When Berkeley turns a disgusted glance of disbelief on the redhead, I pat the helmet she’s still holding in her arms. “Suit up, Blondie!”

  Berkeley glares. But at that moment, the guys stroll up to us, looking rugged and sexy and ready to ride. None of them will have an ounce of difficulty with today’s fun, and the machismo is basically rolling off all of them in virile waves of manliness. I try, I really try, not to roll my eyes, but I fail miserably.

  And then Drake hits me with one of his rare super-size grins, and I’m a lost little girl looking for a comfortable place to snuggle into, and I almost cross the distance to wrap my arms around him. I clench my hands into fists and squeeze, just to force myself to stay still.

  “Babe, why don’t you have your helmet on yet?” Dare’s voice is gentle as he takes the helmet from her hands and places it softly on her mop of curls. “There you go. You ready?”

  Her smile falters.

  Dare’s grin lights up his entire face. Before he met Berkeley, I heard the guy was a brooder. Not anymore. “I got us a two-seater, babe. You’re riding with me.”

  The relief that floods Berkeley’s expression is comical, and we all burst out laughing.

  I raise my hands toward the sky. “Praise Jesus. Now, can we get moving?”

  Drake gives me a strange look. “What, like you’ve been four-wheelin’ before?”

  Strange thing about being in Georgia. Everyone’s drawl seems to get stronger just from the open air and scent of peaches.

  I place my hands on my hips and stare him down. “I grew up in Kentucky, and then I lived on a farm in Brunswick County. I’ve probably ridden more ATVs than you have, Mr. Army Ranger Extraordinaire.”

  Drake’s eyes narrow with the challenge, and a sexy smirk curls his lips. “Want to make it interesting?”

  The guys all hoot, and Jeremy raises his hand. “I’ll take that bet.”

  Turning my scowl on him, he gives me a teasing grin and shrugs.

  I might be little, definitely the smallest person in this group, but if Drake thinks I’m going to back down from this challenge he’d better think again. The stubborn adrenaline lights a fire inside me, and I stride toward him, holding my hand out in front of me.

  I spit in it, and hold it back out to Drake.

  The guys hoot again and I hear Berkeley’s quiet “Ewww.” Olive’s laughter is almost musical, and Greta just shakes her head as she leans into Grisham.

  “Bet I make it to the end of the first course before you do, Sullivan.”

  Without hesitation, Drake spits in his hand and envelops my small one in his enormous one. Glancing down at where we’re joined, heat flows into my lower belly because he tugs me close to his chest. Then, in front of everyone, he plants a soft kiss on my lips.

  Leaning close to my ear, he whispers. “Just remember, I never lose.”

  Without another word, I turn on trembly legs and mount my ATV. Everyone around us does the same, except for Jeremy. He stands off to the side and raises one arm in air. Dare is laughing so hard he can’t get the words out, but he gestures for Drake and me to pull up in front of the rest of them. Berkeley looks comfy in the front seat, though I have a feeling she’s got a vise grip on her man’s thigh.

  I glance at Drake. He’s staring at me, and when he notices my attention he licks his lips and guns his engine. A hot flash thrusts me into a tailspin for a moment, thinking about the way his tongue feels when it touches my skin. Damn him! I shake my head. My curls whip against my neck as I pucker my lips and blow him a kiss.

  Even from a few feet away, I can see Drake’s reaction to my air-kiss. His bottom lip is tugged into his mouth and his eyes hood seductively.

  It’s at that moment that Jeremy’s arm slashes downward, and I grit my teeth and press down hard on the pedal.

  It’s glorious; the kiss of sweet southern air rushing past my face and the sensation of speed taking control of you. I’ve almost forgotten what it feels like to let go like this. I let out a scream of pure joy as my four-wheeler hits its maximum speed. When I allow my eyes to slide to my side, I see Drake is right there with me. There’s a big grin on his face that tells me he, too, is having the time of his life.

  Laughing, I keep my eyes on the trail and notice a narrowing of the dirt path coming up fast. Determined to stay ahead of my competitor, I gun it, and he falls behind me.

  Sucker. I can’t hide my happiness, but deep down inside I know that Drake let me slip ahead. I glance over my shoulder and he’s trailing me closely. It only takes a few more minutes for me to reach the end of the narrow lip of trail, and that’s when Drake really hits the gas. He bullets past my vehicle and reaches the end of the trail just before I do.

  I can’t help it when my lips puff out in a pout. We both pull off our helmets and Drake gives me an adorable smile that causes something inside my stomach to shift and flutter. “I thought I had you, Sullivan!”

  He shakes his head, pretending to feel empathy for me, when I know all he really feels is euphoria. “A bet’s a bet, wild girl. I won it fair.”

  His expression carries a hint of danger, and a sexy confidence that’s all Drake. His biceps bulge through his gray long-sleeved Henley, and it pulls taut over the broad planes of his chest. I can’t help it; my eyes scan every inch of him slowly. Hungrily. A gradual flame has been burning since I saw him this morning, and seeing him now, straddling his ATV, looking all windswept and sexy, it’s going to spread into an uncontrollable fire really quick. His faded jeans fit him just right; I can see the strong ridges of his thigh muscles as he clenches the seat.

  “Mea.” My eyes look to his, startled at the sandpaper tone in his deep voice. “Get on my ride.”

  My eyebrows fly up. “What?”

  “Get on. I won the bet. That’s what I want. You behind me on this four-wheeler.”

  Oh, hell. The usual Mea would never allow a man to order her around. The usual Mea would usually tell him exactly what he could do with his bet and turn my back. But with Drake, I don’t want to be the usual Mea.

  The usual Mea is lonely, deep down. She doesn’t let anyone get close enough to see the profound slices that mar her heart and the war wounds that afflict her soul. The usual Mea gets by with shallow, surface emotions that are usually enough to fool those around her and deflects questions that get too personal, cut too deep.

  But that Mea is bone weary, and Drake is slowly wearing down the wall she’s built around herself so artfully.

  I don’t hesitate. Climbing off my ATV, I walk the few short steps it takes to get to him and climb on the back. My arms go around his waist and my face lies against his back. He smells like outdoor air, pine, and scented soap.

  It’s becoming my new favorite scent.

  His right hand reaches back, curling around my thigh with deliberate possession. When he looks back at me, there’s no humor in his eyes.

  “Ready?”

  It’s a loaded question. Am I ready to ride on the back of this ATV with him?

  Yes.

  Am I ready to trust him with my safety?

  Yes. />
  Am I ready to give my body over to him, passionately and with abandon?

  Yes.

  Am I ready to trust him with my heart?

  Not yet.

  It’s locked up too tight, and I’m not sure I can even remember where I hid the key. I might have buried it, along with any positive emotions or memories I have of the only other man I trusted with it.

  My father.

  The man who, as I’m growing closer to Drake, could be released from prison and unleashed onto the world once again.

  15

  Drake

  I can’t explain how it feels. Her arms wrapped around me, squeezing with just the right amount of pressure. The way her thighs press so tight against mine, like she’s using her legs to hug me. It propels me into the future, one where I’m hovering above her perfect, naked body with her legs wrapped around my waist with that same tight press that makes me want to roll my eyes back in my head.

  She’s making me lose myself. I almost can’t keep it together, keep us on the trail, keep myself from stopping the ATV and scooping her up. But I know I messed up last night. I don’t know how I can read her so well, but I know…I know she needs time. She needs me to prove that I can be trusted with anything she’s willing to give.

  I want her to give me everything.

  The expression on Mea’s face last night when she got that phone call, that expression reached into my chest and crushed my heart in its devastated fist. I wanted to crawl through the phone, grab her brother for making her face look so stricken. The urge to comfort, to protect, to claim was so strong it was like a living, breathing thing inside of me. I’ve never felt anything like that before.

  And the current of energy around her continued to swirl, swirl, swirl. Her tornado didn’t succumb to her obvious desolation. It just got stronger, angrier, threatening to suck everything around it into its stormy center.

  What could have made her feel that way? What scares her that much?

  It has something to do with her past. I know that much. There’s something inside of her so dark, so deep, that I couldn’t reach the depths of it even if I tried. If I’m going to know, it’ll be because she drags me down there with her.

  But I’m strong enough to swim her up, save her from the current of the secret that terrifies her.

  I just don’t think she knows that yet.

  Her startled shout alerts me, and I turn my head to see her small hand pointing off into the woods beside us. I cut the engine, and the ATV slows and stutters to a stop. I remove my helmet so I can hear what she’s saying, and she does the same.

  With one arm still grabbing my middle, she points with enthusiasm again. “Did you see it, Drake?”

  Looking back at her with confusion, I shake my head. “See what?”

  She sighs, a happy, dreamy look entering her eyes that I don’t think I’ve seen there before. “It was a deer, two of them, actually. A mom and her baby. They were so sweet, standing there, but they darted away before we got close.”

  I can’t help but smile at her expression. The girl is seriously melting me, rearranging my insides until I don’t recognize them. They’re becoming all soft and sweet whenever I look at her. “The engine scared them.”

  Her curls swish against my cheek as she leans in closer, sniffing. “You smell so good.”

  Her voice has gone all low and husky, and my dick instantly jerks to attention like it’s responding to a signal that only she knows. “Yeah?” The thudding of my heart is heavy, harsh, and violent.

  She breathes out. “Yeah.”

  She lifts her eyes, big, warm, and beautiful to meet mine. I’m hypnotized for a minute, just staring into them while she stares right back. With an uncontrollable surge of need, my body moves into autopilot and I just react.

  I tug her wrist, pulling her off the back of the bike. When she’s standing beside me, a quick gasp escapes her as I pull her to straddle my lap.

  And then she’s mine.

  Her lips are mine, her mouth belongs to me.

  And I pillage.

  And I plunder.

  At the insistent urge of my tongue, she opens to me with a moan. I pull back for a second.

  “Sexiest sound I ever heard, baby.” I don’t want to scare her, but I can’t do much more than growl at this moment.

  Claiming her lips again, I taste her and she’s perfect. Fucking perfect. She presses against me, forcing me to go deeper, to kiss her harder. When she grinds her hips against my rock-hard cock, I can’t take it anymore. Her hands sift through my hair. Rough, rough, rough.

  I wrench away from her devilish mouth and grab her ass. The fact that any other rider could come along at any moment only amps me up, not slows me down. I lift her up, and when I plunge her back down on top of me she clamps down on her bottom lip with her teeth and drops her head into my shoulder.

  “Drake,” she whispers. Harsh, harsh, harsh.

  Then she bites down hard on my shoulder.

  “Fuuuuuck.” My breathing is ragged, heavy.

  I need this woman. I need to cover her, and I need her to cover me. I need to crawl inside of her, buried deep, and learn her from the inside out. The impression of wanting to jump out of my own damn skin and into hers is eating me up. Swallowing me whole. Burning me alive.

  The not-so-distant sound of several engines pulls me back to the here and now, and I freeze. My hands are still on Mea’s firm, round ass as she moves her head to glance at me. Her eyelids are heavy and she’s wearing this sexy “I want you” look that could make me come in my jeans if I’m not careful.

  I want to roar with the frustration of it, but instead I climb off the ATV, pulling her with me. When I’m standing on two feet again I set her down gently in front of me but I don’t let her go.

  Our friends, their ATVs slowing down to approach us, are just coming into view when I growl at her. “Later.”

  She bats long lashes at me. “Promise?”

  Both of my hands lift to the sides of my head and I squeeze hard. Doesn’t work. Trying to get her out of my mind is like trying to eat French fries without ketchup. Doesn’t make any sense.

  “Shit, man, we saw Mea’s four-wheeler abandoned back there and got worried!” Dare’s disapproval rings clear in his tone as he assesses me. When his eyes graze over Mea and her current state of ruffled, sex-kitten appearance his eyes widen the slightest bit. Swinging his gaze back to me, he shakes his head.

  “Won a bet.” I jerk my thumb toward Mea. “She’s the prize.”

  Greta’s tinkling laugh warrants my attention and I glance at her. “She’s a perfect prize.”

  My gaze strays to Mea again, who’s shifting from foot to foot with something akin to embarrassment. I smile as something strange and unfamiliar fills me up and practically lifts me off my feet. “I know.”

  We spend the rest of the morning riding, and when we’ve all had our fill we pack it in and decide to grab a late lunch back at the house and rest up for the night.

  The fragrant Savannah air is light and airy with the impending spring, and the space inside my chest feels the same way. It makes me see how much grief and guilt I’ve been carrying around since my mother’s death. And even before she died, I carried myself with the heaviness of a weighty load on my shoulders.

  The responsibility of taking care of her and myself was laid on me at way too young an age. And I never really learned how to unburden myself after I became an adult. I carried responsibility on my shoulders through basic training and right into the Ranger battalion. My brothers in arms were my responsibility. Their safety, whether or not they made it home to their parents, wives, and kids, fell on my shoulders.

  It’s a pattern I never learned how to change, because I never realized how much the weight of it all was crushing me.

  I’m sitting at the table in the sunny morning room just off the kitchen when Dare’s brother Chase plunks down in another seat. It’s early afternoon, and everyone is doing his or her own thing.

 
; When I look at Chase, he’s got a shit-eating grin on his face that makes me want to punch it off.

  “What?” My voice is gruffer than usual.

  “I remember when it happened to me. Felt like a damn train hit me. Never saw it coming. Never saw her coming.” His tone is matter-of-fact, like he’s talking about the right way to reassemble the engine of a classic Firebird.

  My brain tries to follow his random train of thought, keep up with where he’s headed, but I fail miserably. Confusion is at the forefront of it all, and it must show on my face. “I’m lost, Chase. What?”

  He leans forward, lacing his fingers together. Chase and Dare look nothing alike. They’re foster brothers, and they share that bond like it’s made from blood. Chase used to be a mess. Gambling, conning, and scheming were all he was good for. Until he met Shay. Everything changed for him from that point on, and Dare was grateful for it. He was always the one to bail Chase out, but now Chase has become the father and husband none of us ever thought he’d be.

  “It happened to me the second I saw Shay. I never looked back. She was wrapped up tight in that criminal bastard Chavez’s hold, but I couldn’t see anything but her. Would have laid it all on the line if I had to. I see the same look on your face when you’re with Mea. Like you can’t get enough.”

  Like I’d drown in her if I could.

  I avert my gaze, turning it toward the giant bay window once again. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Chase. This girl…she’s complicated. So am I.”

  Just talking about her like this with someone else is causing my blood to heat in my veins. She’s in there…when did that happen? The first night I slept with her years back? The night she got my drunken ass home from See Food? Or was it the night I saw how vulnerable and fragile she is despite the strong vibes she puts out during the day?