“Give him time, Rye. Rico doesn’t like to lose control. You make him lose control. He hasn’t figured out how to handle it yet. He will. Don’t lose faith. Once he learns to trust you, he won’t care about controlling the situation or you anymore.”
“What if he never trusts me enough?”
“Hang in there. He’s worth fighting for. Hell, why do you think I still hang around no matter how much he abuses me? Shit, I owe him my life.”
“You do?” She’d never heard that before. Maybe he was just speaking figuratively.
“Yeah, I was pretty screwed up as a teenager. My mom died. She was all I had. Ed never paid much attention to me. Rico took me in. Dad means well, just never follows through. You know?”
“Believe me. I do.”
“I got messed up with the wrong crowd. Same old teenage story. I was sixteen, and Rico was twenty-four. His career started to take off. They loved him in Latin America and Europe, but he hadn’t crossed over to America yet. Anyway, he was flying high. Yet, he kept track of me, he was on my ass all the time. No matter how bad it got, he never gave up on me.
“I hated him for his interference in my life. If I was out all night partying, he’d be the one waiting up at home, ready to nail my butt. He took me on concert tours with him, hired a tutor. Kept me too busy to get into much trouble. He gave me the music. If it hadn’t been for him, I’d have died in a gutter or be in jail by now.
“I never appreciated him, in fact, I resented him. When I screwed him over, he turned his back on me. I lost him as my brother. Only then did I realize how much I’d really lost. Rico doesn’t forgive easily. I’ve been trying to make it up to him ever since.”
“Why did you do it, Ramon? Why’d you lie to the press like that about him?”
“Hell if I know. Jealousy? I guess I wanted to ruin him. He was always so right, so perfect. Hey, I was having my own problems. I was young and selfish and stupid.” Ramon shook his head. “I was doing damage control for my own career, trying to distance myself from the mess. I lived in fear that they’d find out I’d been in the room that night, so I pointed the finger at him. You wouldn’t believe the amount of free publicity that comes from a scandal like that. My career skyrocketed.”
“While Rico’s went in the toilet.”
“Yeah. Flushed right down to the sewer.” Ramon wrung his hands. “I’m ashamed of my part in all that. I behaved like a selfish ass, which I was. Hell, I’d take it all back if he’d just be my brother again. I justified it because Rico never had the passion for performing that I do. Writing songs was his passion, not singing. I knew he could do something else and be happy. But me, performing is all I’ve ever wanted. If I could take it all back, I would.”
“Oh, Ramon.” Mariah’s heart went out to him.
“Don’t feel sorry for me. I made my bed. I helped do this to him. I betrayed him. After all he did for me. I’m only telling you so you might understand why he’s so over-protective of his emotions.”
“But he doesn’t seem to hate Ed for everything he did.”
Ramon laughed. “Ed is Ed. We all make concessions for him. He never means any harm. He just never thinks. Yeah, Ed ran his business into the ground and just about bankrupted him. Our aunts, uncles, and cousins bled the rest of him dry. Carmen left him for his manager. We all used him. He needs someone like you to love him. To heal him.”
“I do love him—so much it hurts. I was certain in a few months he’d realize he loved me, too. Instead, we seem to grow further and further apart instead of getting closer.”
Ramon frowned and reached across the table to squeeze her hand. “He’s still confused and still hurting, but I know he needs you.”
“You’ve sure changed your tune. You were dead set against me marrying him.”
“Only because I knew it’d be like this, that he’d hurt you. But I also know that he needs you a lot more than you need him.”
Mariah sighed. Spending time with Ramon added to her guilt and stress, but Ramon was the brother she never had, even though Rico wouldn’t understand.
Eventually, she’d tell him that she and Ramon had become good friends, and all hell would break lose. She dreaded that day.
She doubted their shaky relationship would survive her deception, no matter how innocent her relationship with Ramon.
*****
Eduardo approached his son like a man walking through a mine field. Rico knew something bothered his father, but he let it go until Ed broached the subject.
“Don’t you think Mariah seems a little unhappy, Rico?”
“Unhappy? What’s she got to be unhappy about? Shit, I just converted a spare bedroom into a closet for her a month ago, and she’s already filled it. I bought her an expensive horse to ride. She doesn’t have to cook or clean or do anything she doesn’t want to do. What the hell more does she need?” Rico couldn’t curb the defensive tone in his voice. Ed had struck a sore spot, one that rubbed him raw.
“You.”
“Me? Hell, she doesn’t even know I’m alive until we climb between the sheets.”
Ed raised his eyebrows in surprise. “I think you’re mistaken. She thinks she’s losing you, and she doesn’t know what to do about it.”
“Losing me? Where did you ever get a ridiculous idea like that? Has she been talking to you?”
“Uh, no. Ramon thinks….”
“Ramon!” Rico roared. “What does Ramon have to do with this? Is she seeing Ramon? That explains a lot. She’s been sneaking around with that little weasel behind my back.”
“They’re only friends. You’re the one that holds her heart, Rico.”
“Oh, come on, Dad, what do you know? Mr. Love ‘em and Leave ‘em.”
His father winced slightly. Rico knew he’d hit a bulls-eye with that slam. “I admit I know a lot about bad relationships. In fact, I think I can claim to be an expert on them.”
Rico conceded that one. “So why does my relationship with Mariah matter to you?”
“It matters because you’re on the verge of losing the best thing that ever happened to you, including Carmen.”
Rico glared a warning at him. He didn’t like this conversation, but Ed bumbled on.
“Rico, I lost your mother because I was too young and too dumb to realize what I had when I had it. The rest of these women have been window dressing I was stupid enough to marry because I thought I loved them.”
“All twelve of them?” Rico couldn’t resist the jab.
“God, it’s been that many?” Ed shrugged. “Yeah, all twelve of them. Look, son, you could do it right the first time instead of being a divorce statistic.”
“I’ll take care of my wife. I don’t need your interference. You can tell my snot-nosed brother to mind his own business before I mind it for him.”
“They’re good friends. She’s good for Ramon, for your whole family. Rico, we love Mariah. In fact, I think the problem here is that you’ve fallen in love with her yourself, and you’re scared shitless about it.”
Rico snorted. “You turn love on and off like a light switch. What do you know?”
“Is it better to fall in love at the drop of a hat, or build walls so high you never take a chance on love?”
“Look, love was never a part of this bargain. She knew that going into it.”
Ed smiled a sad smile. “Yeah, but did you?”
*****
Mariah broke into a smile when she noticed Rico standing in the doorway. His eyes skimmed over his family and settled on her.
His expression raged with the fury of a nasty thunderstorm. He stalked out to the patio where the Sanchez clan had all assembled for a family dinner, a weekly Sunday tradition she’d instituted. He stopped by her side. She stood and touched his arm, hoping to sooth the savage beast.
“Rico.” She forced a smile and kissed his cheek.
“I told you I didn’t want you seeing Ramon.” Planting his feet in a wide stance, he placed his hands on his hips, an accusing finger jab
bed close to her face.
“You told me, did you? You don’t own me, Rico Sanchez.” Her own anger came a slow boil.
“You’re my wife.”
“Oh my, God, I’m surprised you remember that little detail.”
Rico grabbed her arm and pulled her against him. “Of course, I remember. Hell, I remember every time I pay my credit card bills.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” His grip on her arm hurt. She squirmed in an attempt to free herself, but he held on tighter.
“It means stay away from my worthless brother.”
“Ramon is not worthless. In fact, most of the time I like him better than I like you.”
A muscle twitched in his jaw as he glared at her. He let go of her arm. His fists clenched at his sides. “Then maybe you should have married him.” His dark eyes turned black.
“What? And miss out on all this fun? Not on your life.” Sarcasm wasn’t something she used often, but this infuriating man brought out the worst in her. Meanwhile, Angel, Ramon, and Ed sat on the balcony railing like parrots on a perch. Mariah considered asking them if they wanted a cracker. Even better, maybe they should fly away. “Are you going to accuse me of screwing around?”
“Of course not.” Rico smirked, as if that was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard.
“Why not?” Ramon asked.
They both turned to him at the same time and said in unison: “Shut up, Ramon.”
“With the kind of sex we have, there’s no way you’re sleeping with anyone else.”
“Oh, really? You think you’re that good?”
“I know I am.” To prove his point, Rico crushed her in his arms and gave her a deep wet kiss. She wrapped her fingers around his arms and pushed with all her strength. The man was immovable. His mouth moved over hers, demanding, insistent, and needy. She resisted him, but he exploited his knowledge of her body’s hot spots. He wore her down like he always did. She lost herself in his kiss and forgot that she was pissed at him.
The birds on the perch squirmed a little. One by one they snuck past Rico and Mariah and flew the coop. Mariah barely noticed them leaving.
Rico threw her over his shoulder and carried her upstairs. She alternated between laughing and yelling at him. He confused her that much. He threw onto the bed and stripped off his clothes. Standing over her, his body heaved from exertion and arousal. Mariah looked up at him, not the least bit afraid. Rico would never hurt her physically, no matter how mad he was. “Rico. Come here. Love me.” She needed to feel him. He was such an attentive and unselfish lover. When they had sex, she could almost imagine that he loved her. She desperately needed to feel loved right now even if it was only passion and lust imitating love.
His expression softened slightly. He pulled off her skirt and panties then settled between her legs. Mariah encouraged him, not that he needed much. He entered her body and branded her once again as his, while their other problems remained unsettled between them.
*****
Rico walked into the sun room. Mariah’s eyes opened wide in surprise. She probably hadn’t expected to see him at home during the middle of the day. He’d neglected things too long. Today they’d be straightened out once and for all.
She stood and brushed past him, but he reached out and pulled her against his chest. “We have to talk.”
She grew stiff under his touch and eyed him warily.
“What’s up with this?” He waved the small plastic container in front of her face.
“My…my pills.”
“You’re taking them?”
“Yes.”
“All this time I figured you’d be pregnant any day.”
“I never promised you babies. I told you I wasn’t sure. As long as you and I are having problems, I’m not bringing a baby into this world.”
“Problems? The only problems we’re having could be solved if you’d quit being so stubborn.”
“Me! Stubborn?” She sputtered, staring at him as if he were a stranger.
Frustration rolled around inside him, picking up speed and intensity. “I thought I told you not to see him anymore.”
Guilt sliced across Mariah’s delicate features. She tossed her dark hair off her face. Tilting her head back, she challenged him with her eyes. “We settled this yesterday. I told you I’ll see anyone I wish to see. I’m faithful to you, that’s what matters.” Her eyes narrowed. “Besides, how did you know I was with Ramon?”
“Because I followed you.”
“You followed me? Rico, why?”
“Look, Mariah, I give you everything. I don’t think it’s too much to ask of you to stop seeing Ramon.”
“It is. It’s the principal of the thing. I’m not doing anything wrong. He’s a good friend. He listens to me. I tell him things I can’t tell anyone else.”
“You don’t talk to that little punk about us, do you?” The guilty expression on her face told him that that was exactly what she was doing. Something shifted inside him. Ramon knew about his fears, his weaknesses, and his problems establishing a relationship with his wife out of the bedroom.
“If it wasn’t for Ramon, I would have left you a month ago.” Mariah turned on her spiked heels and trudged up the curved staircase. She paused halfway to look at him over her shoulder. “I can’t live like this anymore, Rico. I don’t know what else to do to make you love me. That’s all I ever wanted. You can take the horses, the designer clothes, the money, all of it, if you’d just love me.” A sob escaped from her throat, and she half-ran, half-stumbled up the remaining steps. The door to the master bedroom slammed shut.
Cold hard steel stabbed through his chest, cutting right down to his soul. She confided in Ramon but not him. How had it come to this? He already knew the answer. The more she meant to him, the more he protected himself. He wouldn’t let her in because if she left him, she’d take a bigger piece of his heart than Carmen had ever taken.
Rico staggered backwards against the banister as the truth hit home. Left him? She would have left him a month ago if not for Ramon? The words echoed over and over in his brain. He’d been working sixteen hours a day to avoid going home to her. Not because he didn’t want to be with her, but because he wanted to be with her so much, it scared the shit out of him.
He heard things thumping around upstairs and imagined her packing. Oh God, what had he done? He’d spent three months driving her away. Why? Because he didn’t deserve someone who loved him for him? Because he was a coward and afraid to take the risk of losing his heart?
He didn’t know how long he stood in that hallway. Thoughts ground through his mind over and over like an old-fashioned meat grinder until they were so garbled they didn’t make sense to him. Nothing made sense to him.
She came down the stairs, dragging two large suitcases behind her. Tears streamed down her beautiful face. Her makeup had run, leaving black streaks under her eyes. Her disheveled hair went every which way. He heard a car in the driveway. Glancing out the side window in the entryway, he spotted a taxi parked outside.
She avoided his eyes as she skirted past him and opened the door. The driver waited on the other side, taking her bags from her.
Rico stepped in front of her, barring her exit. “Mariah, if you walk out that door, don’t ever expect to come back.” He wanted her to hurt like he hurt, but her determined expression backed him up a step.
“Do you love me, Rico? Do you?” She searched his eyes for the answer, placing her hands on his chest.
He said nothing. He felt choked, strangled. The words he wanted to say wouldn’t come out of his mouth. Hell, he wasn’t even sure what words those were. He stared at her tear-stained face and knew he’d broken her heart. And what about his own?
“If you’d only say those words, I’d stay by your side forever, through all the good and bad times.”
He clamped his jaw shut and maintained his stubborn silence and mulish pride.
She sighed with resignation. “I won’t be back. It’s over. Go
od bye, my love.” Tenderly, she kissed his cheek one last time and touched his face. She shook her head. “I took a chance with you, Rico. More than once. Why wouldn’t you take a chance with me?”
“I did,” he insisted defensively.
“No, you didn’t. You didn’t give the most special part of yourself. You never trusted me enough to give me your heart.”
Her tortured sob nearly ripped him in two, but he didn’t cave. Stiff and unyielding, he clenched his fists tightly to his sides.
“I love you, Rico. I’ll always love you.” Grabbing the last of her bags, she whirled around and stumbled down the steps.
She never looked back. Rico stood on the front porch, paralyzed by disbelief until the taxi disappeared around a corner. He’d been dropped to the bottom of the ocean without a lifeline. She’d been his lifeline, the key to his soul. Grief tore through him, a tidal wave devastating everything in its wake. Tears streamed down his face. His heart sunk to his knees. His chest constricted, making breathing a painful chore.
“Nooooo! Nooooo! Mariah! Mariah, I need you!”
He didn’t recognize that tortured cry as coming from his mouth. Sinking to his knees, he buried his face in his hands and sobbed without shame as his world crashed down around him.
Chapter Twenty-three—The Realization
“What’s that song you’re singing? It’s incredible.”
Rico glanced up to discover Ramon standing on his patio. “Who let you in?”
“Your housekeeper. She’s concerned about you. We all are, Rico. I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
“Thanks, but I don’t need your concern. I’ll be fine.”
Ramon settled next to him in a lounge chair. “You don’t look fine.” He studied Rico as helped himself to his brother’s untouched beer. “In fact, you look like shit.”
“I don’t need you to tell me that.” He knew what Ramon saw. Several days’ stubble darkened his face. His rumpled clothes, unkempt hair, and black circles under his bloodshot eyes made him look like he’d been on a three-day drunk. Yet, orange juice was the strongest thing he’d had to drink.
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