She stopped with enough space between them to still own their own personal space, but close enough they could reach for each other should the need arise. “You are angry with me.”
“Yes,” he answered dryly. “A little.” In the tub, recovering from near death, he thought it didn’t matter anymore. But now, with his brain functioning fully again, he realized he just couldn’t let the lies by omission go.
“Oh Tristan,” She took a quick step into him only to stop at the look on his face. “I have so much I want to tell you.”
“Want or need?”
“Both! When I bit Malik, and my own memories… I still cannot say I know who or what your father was, but I am getting closer to the answer, I can feel it.”
At Ash’s sudden enthusiasm, Tristan straightened, dropping his arms to his sides. “I’m listening…”
She smiled brightly. If she only knew how good it looked on her, maybe she’d do it more often. “Come, I want to show you something.”
He looked at her outstretched hand and then sighed, taking it. She wasn’t as warm as she looked and it was a bit of a shock. He suddenly smiled, making her stiffen, his eyes going soft with emotion. “I really like you this way. You look really nice.” And alive, he was thinking, but wouldn’t say aloud.
Ash, unsure of how she felt about the whole thing, just nodded and turned to lead them out of the home. Her footing was as sure as it had always been, effortlessly gliding them through the rubble, avoiding even looking at the space where the two men had been buried up to their necks just a night ago.
Mamoru straightened when the two passed by the car where he was leaning. “Ready?”
“Actually,” Ash stopped and Tristan took his hand back. She frowned, tried to hide it and then gave up realizing Mamoru knew everything anyway. “We are going to have a walk. You are most welcome to head into Gytheio now. We will meet you there soon.”
Mamoru looked like he was actually thinking it over when he knew exactly what his answer was. “That’s fine. I’ll wait here. We’re in no rush to go anywhere.”
“Let us hope that Genoveva is not lurking about.”
The Japanese man shook his head. “I don’t sense anyone but you two.”
Tristan lifted a brow. He could feel Tristan… and Ash? Interesting.
Mamoru’s lips quirked into a sly smile, his eyes going to Tristan.
“She can mask herself completely,” Tristan said, not sure what was so funny.
“I’m not worried,” the other man said confidently.
Uneasy, Tristan shifted on his feet and shot Ash a look before turning way. “Right. Just yell if you need us.”
“Hai.”
Ash caught up and motioned for Tristan to follow, cutting to the right. He sighed, shoving his hands into his pockets and trailed along with her, slightly behind. Sure, he was happy that she finally admitted to lying to him, but he was still angry over it. A part of him understood why she did it but a bigger part was just plain frustrated. He couldn’t live this way. Not and be happy anyway.
They wound their way through tall grass and sickly trees. Ash was sad to see them ill and wished she could help them. A small part of her wanted to remain here and see them restored. Her home, restored. But she knew she couldn’t bear it. She died here, as did her sister. She couldn’t bear with the thought that Evangeline still lingered in spirit and would haunt her, hate for her for what she’d done. It was silly, fearing a ghost, but it was what she was raised to believe in. Some beliefs, no matter what insane Turks tried to instill on her, were hard to turn from.
“This used to be my garden. Eva and I, we ate everything we grew, in spells, in meals. We loved to tend the garden, the peace it gave us…”
After a moment of silence, Ash sighed deeply. “Your mother was quite beautiful—the woman who bore you, I mean.”
Tristan flinched, head snapping up to look at the back of Ash’s head.
“She fought off Malik when he came for her. He was savage, terrible, but she died proudly.”
Tristan came to a stop. “Jesus, Ash. All this time—”
Ash stopped with him and turned to face him, crossing her arms across her middle. “I know.” The words were so soft the wind nearly took them away before finding Tristan.
“Well?” he prompted after they’d stared at one another for nearly a minute in tense silence.
She lifted her chin. “I have no excuse that will appease you.”
“That’s it then?”
Ash dropped her arms. “What do you want from me?”
“Honesty. Pure, unaltered honesty.”
Ash’s lips pursed. “I saw her death in Malik’s blood, but I also knew your mother.”
“Knew her…?”
“I spent so much time looking for you that I knew just about everything about Masuyo Minamoto-Uruwashi that I could possibly know before I ever came upon you.”
“Then you know my who my father—”
She put a hand up. “No. That was the only thing I could not glean. She was rather clever and more than smart, concededly so. You were actually harder to find than one would have expected. I suspect that is why it took Malik so long to kill you… he didn’t know where to find you. That was Masuyo’s scheming.”
He took a step back, eyes wide and mouth open in a shocked oh.
“I’m sorry.”
“You’ve known all this time?”
“Since France.”
“What the—” He stopped to swallow back a curse. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“In truth, I was not sure if you really wanted to know.”
“What? Of course—That’s all I’ve ever wanted!”
Ash frowned, but didn’t take a step back, even when Tristan’s anger beat against her, telling her to back off.
“You may think you are honest, Tristan, but there are lies even you tell.”
“That—” Tristan fell into stuttering, unsure of what to say to that, afraid she was right. God, he hated that she could call him on his bullshit so easily. And he let her.
Ash decided to press forward, because if after she was done and he decided to leave she wanted him to have at least heard this much. “She was from the ancient Miyamoto clan, raised just outside of Kyoto. Her mother was only human, she died in childbirth. Her father was the Uruwashi, a strong one at that, but only cared about his job. Masuyo was often left alone to be raised by nannies and valets of the family.
“She was spoiled, rich and lonely. She went to the best schools and graduated early with a degree in business only because she did not know what she wanted to really do. When she was eighteen, she met a man and a year later she was married and pregnant… with you.”
Ash paused to swallow and give Tristan the chance to say something. He only stared at her, eyes full of barely held back emotion that Ash was ready for. But he just nodded at her for her to go on.
“Her husband disappeared before she knew she was pregnant. Whatever drove Masuyo—” Ash shook her head. “She was convinced he really did not wish to leave, but had to. Why, I could not discern. In searching for him, she discovered what she was and was taken in by the local Uruwashi clan… by Mamoru’s clan.”
Tristan’s eyes widened. Why didn’t Mamoru ever say so? Had he just been waiting for the right moment? Or was it one of his secrets, one of those things he was holding on to until Genoveva was dead? “Mamoru knew my mother?” His voice was soft and full of pain.
Ash shook her head. “Actually, no. Mamoru had already left his clan to marry an American woman and Masuyo left shortly after being taken in by Mamoru’s people. She had a lead on her missing husband that took her to Maryland.”
“My parents,” he whispered, feeling his eyes well at the thought of them.
“Needing prenatal care, she stumbled upon Doctor Julia Blum. Doctor Blum took pity on her and took her in, but only because she convinced them she was something she was not.”
“She used them?” Tristan asked, feeling hi
s anger well.
Ash nodded solemnly. “But she came to trust and love them, though I do not know if she ever confided the truth with them. She loved you too, but something drove her to find her husband, so much so that it was her life’s mission…. There was a reason for it, but I could never understand why.
“She left you with the Blum’s and resumed her search again. After that, I’m unclear of what happened, only that she ended up in Japan again. In Semboku.”
“But that’s…”
“Mhm,” Ash said softly. “Near where your apartment is, yes. I can show you where I had her buried… if you like.”
“Wait, what? You…?”
Ash nodded solemnly. “Malik killed her before you arrived in Japan. I found her body where he left her to die. I had her cremated and interred her ashes in a cemetery under her birth name. But I did not do it officially, there is no record of her death anywhere.”
Tristan looked horrified, complexion a little pale. “Did—when did she…?”
“July. Before last.”
That was just a month before his parents died. A mere month before Malik killed them.
“I do not know if she ever found her husband again, only that Malik found her. She fought him and might have won if she understood how to use her seikonō properly.”
Tristan’s mouth dropped open and he blinked at her for a moment before asking, “She was awakened? Who did it?”
Ash shook her head. “I could never determine that, only that I think the vampire might have been of Earth or possibly Wind.” And if this ledger Mamoru was searching for contained exactly what she thought it did, then there was a very good chance that it held many answers for them both.
She paused for a moment, letting it all settle into his mind. It was a lot to take in. Ash wished she hadn’t waited so long to tell him. She had no excuse for it, it was plain fear and bad timing on her part that kept her silent for so long.
“I know she did love you, in her way,” Ash said in a small voice. “She purposefully put Uruwashi as her surname rather than Minamoto on your birth certificate as a last safeguard in case she could not come back for you. Perhaps that was the only thing tying you to her, how Malik finally found you. But I truly believe she meant to return for you.”
“You…” Tristan stopped, staring at her for a moment. “You… Fuck, Ash.” He rubbed his forehead, eyes shut tightly. “I don’t even know what to say.” He dropped his arm with an exasperated sigh and looked her in the eye though it was a strain. “Why didn’t you tell me before? We had a whole ten days of nothing while we healed and traveled. It would have been the absolute fucking perfect time to talk to me. I’m not that hard to talk to, am I?”
“I was… afraid.”
“Of me?” Tristan asked, his hurt palatable.
Ash jumped to her feet, startling him to step back. That little step hurt her in a way she couldn’t put into words. “I was…” She shook her head. “I really have no excuse. Tristan… I’m not afraid of you. I fear… being utterly powerless to the supremacy of fate.”
He frowned at her for a long time, mulling everything she’d told him over in his head. He was relieved to hear that someone knew about his mother, even if it wasn’t the full story. Maybe especially since it wasn’t the full story, he could still hold onto hope. There was still a chance to dig deeper and fill in those empty slots. He still had a chance of finding out who and what his father was.
“Tristan?”
He slowly looked at her, unsure of her tone.
“There is one more—something important you need to know and understand the reason why.”
“Go on,” he said sounding suspicious.
She looked like she was going to hesitate and then just blurted out, “I had Yukihime erase your mind in France.”
Tristan blinked one of those long, thought gathering blinks. It didn’t work. “You—” He put his back to her. He was shaking. He knew this, deep down he was sure something had happened to him he couldn’t remember. After all, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t remember exactly how he killed Lucien. There were gaps in his memory and it frightened him to think Yuki had been in his head, moving shit around. But to find out that Ash initiated it…
“I did it to protect you.”
“To—” He spun on her, too angry to even see straight. He was panting hard, his face tingling with the rush of oxygen. Fists balled tight enough to hurt, Tristan forced himself to focus and slow his breathing. “O-K,” he said through gritted teeth. “I’m listening, very carefully.”
Ash licked her lips, thinking about what she wanted to say, how to say it. In the end, she gave way to speaking from the heart, earnest and without limitations. “There were things that happened to you and things that you did that I wanted to protect you from. I realize that I took that decision away from you in doing so, risked losing you forever. But it was the decision I made for your greater good.”
He took a moment to digest her words. Though strong, she was obviously frightened but was going to stick by her choices in life. “I can’t remember how Lucien died, Yuki took that.”
Ash nodded.
“Just what did I do that was so awful that you had to take that from me?”
“You killed Lucien.”
Tristan’s heart was working overtime, pounding hard as the fear overtook him. He killed Lucien, so what? It’s what he was supposed to do. But he’d done it in such a way that shook Ash’s soul. She was afraid of him. He looked up into her eyes and saw it, that fear. Not of what he was supposed to be or might become, but of what he’d already done.
“I remember, after we got back to the room, I was sick and… I don’t know, I just didn’t feel right. But I remember an overwhelming sense of accomplishment, and peace. You said you were proud of me, but I can’t remember why…” Tristan met Ash’s eyes. “You were proud of what I did to kill Lucien and yet, it terrified you deeply enough to have it erased from my mind.”
Ash nodded ever so slightly. “Yes,” she whispered.
“And how is that not messing with fate?”
Ash frowned.
“The way I see it, you’re just like Yuki.”
His words were bitter and cut right through Ash. “I only do what I think is best.”
Tristan snorted at her. “I bet Yuki says the same thing.”
Ash looked away. Because he was right. She knew it was wrong but her love for him pushed her to overact. Maybe it was right to take that memory, but maybe it was wrong too. She’d never know.
Tristan’s anger washed away in the wake of his sudden fear. “What the hell am I?” He took a step towards her, sweating, panting, heart racing, throat closed with fear.
“You are… Uruwashi. And something not human.” She relaxed her stance, tilting her head to the side, considering. “But you are not evil. You are just another creature on this planet trying to survive. And you are the man I love.”
With a gasp, Tristan fell to his knees. “I’m afraid of what I did, Ash. It if was so bad that you had to erase it… Just what kind of terrible monster am I?”
She shook her head. “You are no monster. And what you did… It had to be done. It was my fault, I could not help you, forced you into such a position.”
“No, Ash.” He reached out and she cautiously slipped into his arms. He sighed and pulled her closer, pressing his cheek to her belly. “You saved my life, at the risk of your own.”
“I could not let you die there.”
“Because I’m the last Uruwashi?” Was.
“No.” She took a tiny step back, clasping his face into her hands to make him look up at her. “Because I love you. Nothing more, nothing less.”
He sniffled, not realizing his eyes were stinging. “Did I… did I try to hurt you too?”
“No.” It was dry and short, making Tristan wonder if he really had.
“Fuck,” he hissed. After a quiet moment he added, “Next time, don’t run off and have my memories wiped. I understa
nd why you did it, but it was wrong. You are taking away a piece of me and how am I supposed to grow and learn from my past if I can’t remember it?”
She quickly shuffled back from him, lips pursed again in obvious vexation. “If you wish them returned, I can arrange it with Yukihime.” The fact that he’d have to drink the old vampire’s blood for those memories was moot at this point.
He sighed and then sifted to sit in the tall grass. Then laid down, looking up at a sky devoid of stars, masked by rolling clouds that meant to bring rain again. “No, I’ll trust you, this time.” He rolled his head to the side to look at her. “But there better not be a next time.”
Ash straightened. “Understood.”
Again, the fear of what he’d done rushed through him, punching his fear center in the nads. It must have been terrible for her to go so far, seeing as she was livid about Yuki taking her own memories and knowing what it was like to be missing a part of one’s self. Damn.
Ash warily slipped down next to him in the grass, sitting with her arms propping her up. “I hope that once we are done here, we can remain for a time. I was poor here, but happy. This was my home, where I was born and died. Where my family line died.”
“What was your sister like?”
Ash smiled at a private memory. “She was kind and gentle when she needed to be, but quick to snap if it meant her pride. She had every reason to be proud, she was a strong pythia. Strong enough to have become an antediluvian if she had not died.”
“If Malik hadn’t killed her, you mean.”
“Yes,” she whispered and fell into silence for a moment.
“I realize that I am older than I am meant to be, an unnatural creature to pervert the laws of nature, but for the life of me, I cannot remember my mother’s face. Papa, it is almost as if he never existed. I barely remember Lyandros’s name and I haven’t a clue what Eva’s husband’s name was. I think I even only remember Lilith because she used to come to me after my death, unbeknownst to Malik.”
“Come to you, like in a dream?”
“Yes. I was never very far from Malik, so it was easy for her to see me, her being his captive as well. But I wonder now, all these years later… she could have easily freed herself of that man, there is no doubt in my mind. So I wonder, why did she stay? For me?”
Moon Child Page 23
