“The least you can do is tell us your name,” Jack said.
“Very well,” the keeper grudgingly relented. “Hickory Stick Bill, that’s what they call me.”
“Wha-? Hickory Stick Bill?” asked Jack, exchanging a confused look with his companions. “What kind of a name is that for a pirate?”
“It’s on account of my peg leg, it is! Built from the finest hickory that can be found. It’s been sturdier and more reliable than my real leg, as a matter of fact,” Hickory Stick Bill explained.
The pirate curled one hand into a fist and rapped his weathered knuckles against his peg leg affectionately. Thwock, thwock! Meanwhile, Nibbler had edged forward and was cautiously sniffing at the wooden appendage, his ears twitching as he inspected it.
“Arr, this leg has served me well. I had it fashioned by an excellent craftsman in Jamaica who was in the business of building replacement limbs for injured seafarers, and I’ve relied upon it for many a year,” Hickory Stick Bill said.
“Well, your name doesn’t have the same ring to it as ‘Black Beard’, but I do like the sound of it,” Neil said.
“Black Beard, eh? Hah!” Hickory Stick Bill threw back his head and laughed. “Well, then, perhaps you rambunctious whelps aren’t as thick skulled and dim witted as your actions led me to believe. You recognize the resemblance, do you?”
“Of course! Not too many people go strolling around with dynamite in their beard. But are you really a descendent of Black Beard?” Neil asked.
“Or...” Jack said, “are you simply some maniac who’s flipped his wig, prancing around in costume and entertaining his delusions of grandeur on a deserted island?”
Hickory Stick Bill glowered at Jack, leveling his fiery eyes at the boy who had suggested he might be an impostor. Of course, it was a bit hard to take him seriously, in his current, drenched condition, with his hair and beard even more askew than usual. “How dare you? I’m the last in the bloodline of Black Beard himself, the most famed and feared pirate to ever raise sail!”
“Could you tell us more?” Neil asked. He could sense that the pirate actually wanted the opportunity to prove that he was descended from Black Beard, because his pride had been wounded. “You know, we did just save your gourd from an explosive meeting with some lit dynamite. You could try being a little bit gracious, and entertain our curiosity.”
The pirate muttered darkly, trying his best to look agitated and fearsome. “As if you troublesome children could possibly make demands of me. What I tell you now, I tell you only because I wish to do so, not because you asked...
“My great ancestor, Black Beard, first laid claim to this island over two hundred years ago. He was sailing in these northern waters - which were a bit cold for his liking, after his time in the Caribbean - when he spotted this place. In his journal, he described one end of the island as ‘resembling the smutty nose of some great creature’, thanks to the large amounts of seaweed that had accumulated there. This phrase caught on with the local fishermen, and thus-”
“Smuttynose Island found its name!” Neil concluded with excitement.
“Hey! Who, exactly, is telling the story here? Is there another descendent of Black Beard lingering about? Perhaps some distant cousin that I overlooked? Or am I the only one?” Hickory Stick Bill inquired.
“Uh, right you are, sir! Sorry for the interruption, and please continue!” Neil encouraged.
“Arr...” Hickory Stick Bill grumbled. But after a moment of running a hand through his soaked, disheveled beard, he continued where he had left off. “As I was saying, you impudent landlubbers, Black Beard found Smuttynose Island to be to his liking, and it was especially agreeable in the summer months, when the weather was pleasant.
“He established a hideout in this very cove, and it was here that he had his honeymoon with his bride. Over the years, he would return here many times, as would his offspring. We’ve kept the hideout within our family, passing it down through the generations. Alas... I am the last of Black Beard’s bloodline, for I never had any children of my own. I find them to be far too much trouble for my liking, and meeting the unruly likes of you two has only reinforced that belief.”
Sensing that Hickory Stick Bill had concluded his tale, Neil couldn’t wait to fire his next question. “You think kids are trouble? But you’re a pirate! Isn’t trouble what you’re all about?”
“Bah!” Hickory Stick Bill grumbled, absently waving his hand to dismiss the notion.
“Aw, come on, admit it - you’re starting to like us, aren’t you?” asked Jack. “We’re growing on you!”
Hickory Stick Bill’s eyes grew wide, and he sputtered, “I most certainly am not starting to like you! By the eyes of my ancestor, just look what you fools have brought down upon my cove! This hideout has been in the family for hundreds of years, and now it’s being destroyed right before me!”
“Well, in fairness, that’s Pan Gu’s doing. That has nothing to do with us,” Neil pointed out.
“It’s got nothing to do with you?” the pirate asked in disbelief. “Do you mean to tell me it’s nothing more than coincidence that the lot of you all show up on my island at the same time?”
Jack spoke up. “No, see, what happened was we followed the monster here. We were on a scientific expedition, when we got shipwrecked. My Uncle Lefty was in charge, and he theorized that Pan Gu came here after he escaped from Portsmouth. We tracked it here in our boat, and then we saw it emerge from the water off the edge of the island, right in this very cove.”
“Lefty thinks Pan Gu has been here for a few days now. Have you noticed any strange weather lately?” Neil asked. “That’s a telltale sign of Pan Gu’s presence, what with its electromagnetic defense mechanisms.”
“Arr...” Hickory Stick Bill grumbled. Though loathe to admit the boys might have a legitimate point, he grudgingly conceded, “Things have been rather bumpy here at Smuttynose the past few days, I’ll grant you that. There’s been thunder and lightning the likes of which I’ve never seen. The weather will be as fine as can be one moment, with clear skies and bright sun, and then... dark clouds will materialize, with cracks of thunder to deafen your ears, and bolts of lightning to blind your eyes. Moreover, the wind and rain is enough to knock you down or smash your ship. These storms vanish as quickly as they arrive... it is curious, I’ll grant you that.”
“That sounds like Pan Gu, all right,” Neil said.
“A genuine sea serpent,” Hickory Stick Bill muttered. “I never thought I’d live to see the day. I believed they were nothing more than myth... and it’s got sorcery at its beck and call, too, does it?”
“No, it’s actually science, Mr. Hickory Stick,” Neil corrected. “It can disrupt electrical current with ions and electrons and, uh... well, I can’t remember all the specifics, to be perfectly honest.”
Hickory Stick Bill squinted his eyes suspiciously.
“I’m losing you, aren’t I? Well, in any event, the end result is the same: Pan Gu can summon storms!” Neil exclaimed.
“Yes, I gathered that, boy,” Hickory Stick Bill assured him, as he flinched from an exceedingly loud crack of thunder.
“Pretty cool, don’t you think?” Neil asked.
“Nyar... it would be a sailor’s worst nightmare,” the pirate murmured. “To encounter this beast on the open seas would mean certain doom.”
“Hey, we survived an encounter with it, right?” asked Jack.
“Luck smiles upon fools and half-wits,” Hickory Stick Bill grumbled.
“You’re a little rough around the edges, aren’t you, Mr. Hickory Stick? Remember that whole saving your head from dynamite thing?” Neil asked the pirate.
Hickory Stick Bill ran a gnarled hand over his eyes and muttered beneath his breath, cursing his various misfortunes.
“Speaking of strange creatures, what is the deal with this giant crab?” asked Jack, as the cavern continued to shudder from the destructive battle of the beasts.
“The Crab King rules this place,” Hickory
Stick Bill said. “I like to think of Smuttynose as my island, but that creature is undoubtedly the most powerful force here, and I have no doubt that if it wanted me gone, it could get rid of me, one way or the other. When Black Beard married his bride, he received that crab as a wedding gift from a fellow captain of the seas... it was an exceptionally rare species, native to much warmer climates. It wasn’t much bigger than any other crab at that time, but it quickly grew, flourishing in an environment where it was free from the threat of natural predators. Over the generations, it’s continued to grow.”
“You mean to tell me that this is the same crab that Black Beard brought here, back in the 1700s?” asked Jack.
“Oh, aye, it certainly is old. I’d wager that’s how it got to be so big! Of course, the Crab King did experience a rapid growth spurt about five years ago...”
“How come?” asked Neil.
“I was away at sea for some time, and when I returned to Smuttynose, I discovered a group of madmen had taken up residence. They had all kinds of strange equipment, and a real peculiar way of going about their business. I guess they might have been doctors or something, but they weren’t like any doctors I’ve ever seen before.”
“That’s really interesting. Were they scientists?” asked Jack.
“I don’t know what they were, or what they were doing. They could have been men of science, I suppose. But shortly after I chased them from my island - using some clever tricks, I might add - some of the wildlife here started to act kind of funny… And that’s when the Crab King began growing really fast.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Like a Bird Without Wings
The Green Beans, Volume 4: Shipwrecked on Smuttynose Island Page 27
