by Kimi Flores
Pursing his lips to the side, her father lowered his head, then peeked up at her. The truth was right there, written all over his face. With her mouth gaped open, she took another look around the room. Stefen was glaring back and forth between everyone, but Caleb’s eyes met hers. She would never forget that look as long as she lived. He already knows.
Her lips parted as all of the air in her lungs escaped. “I’m the baby?” she whispered, feeling the room begin to spin.
Stefen shot up. “What the fuck, Dad? Why are you doing this to her? Hasn’t she suffered enough?”
Her father spoke through gritted teeth. “Don’t you think I feel guilty enough? You can blame your fucking uncle for opening this can of worms. It seems he’s suddenly taking an interest in finding out if he has a daughter that he’s ignored her whole life.”
With tears in her eyes again, her voice cracked. “Wa—wait a minute. You don’t know which one of you is my dad?”
Stefen paced back and forth, running his hands through his hair. “You seriously never took a DNA test?”
“No.” their father insisted, tears in his own eyes. “Bri’s my daughter. Who cares about a test?” Shaking his head, as if the memories were crashing into him, he groaned. “I was already unhappy, but the idea of not seeing my kids everyday would’ve made me even more miserable, so I stayed.”
Caleb took a deep breath and stood up. “Calm down,” he told Stefen. “You aren’t doing Bri any good by flipping out. Would it change how you feel about her if you find out she’s both of our sister?”
Stefen’s head snapped at Caleb. “Of course not.”
“Then let’s figure this out. We’re all in shock.” Caleb encouraged him to sit back down. Thankfully, he did.
Bri settled further into the couch, trying to process as she wiped the few tears away. Technically her life had been a lie. But…did it matter? Did it really change anything? And would it have changed anything had she known sooner?
I would’ve still had both Caleb and Stefen in my life. My mother would’ve still been my mother, and I would've had an asshole for a dad, instead of the one I grew up with. He may not have been around a lot, but he was the best daddy when he was with me.
Shifting her body toward her father’s, Bri reached for his hand, caressing the top. “I’m glad you didn’t find out. You’re right. You are my daddy and that’s it.” She shook her head. “I don’t want a test done either. Why does he even want to know after all of this time?”
Even if he isn’t my biological father, this is one lie I can live with.
Reaching his thumb up, her father stroked the top of her hand. “I honestly think he loved your mother in his own twisted way,” he said sadly. “And if you’re his daughter, it would be his way of still having a piece of her.” With a defeated look, he reminisced. “You know, I’ve never seen her happier than when she was pregnant with you. I thought we’d finally made a turnaround in our relationship. But when you were little, it became apparent how much you and Stefen looked alike and something snapped in her. It was like the hope she had of always keeping my brother close to her faded, and her spirit died along with it. She seemed to be fine with you, whenever I was around, but man did she take it out on me.” He shook his head, as if remembering. “That’s why I tried to stay away.”
He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. “When she attacked you over the phone last week and admitted all of those awful things, I lost it. I told her she had to get out. I was done with her and couldn’t believe that went on under my nose without me knowing a damn thing.”
She was still in shock over the bomb that had just been dropped, but this was not her father’s fault. There was no need for him to feel guilty. “Daddy, please stop blaming yourself. It was her choice.” As the words came out of her mouth, she realized how true they were. Josh spoke those same words to her, and it wasn’t until this very moment that she really understood them.
Stefen interrupted, “What made her so aggressive lately? She’s always been hard to deal with, but recently she was acting completely belligerent.”
Pulling his hands away from Bri, her father sat back on the couch. “Again, you can thank my brother for that. When he decided to leave your mom,” he glanced over at Caleb before looking back at Stefen, “for a girl younger than you guys, your mother flipped. I think she was still hoping he would come back and sweep her off her feet one day. This hurricane started so long ago and you guys have been victims and I’m sorry for the part I played. But I know my brother, and he’ll pursue this.”
Crossing her arms, Bri said defiantly, “Well, he can try all he wants. I’m not giving him any of my DNA. This is bullshit. I refuse to be a part of it. After the funeral tomorrow, Josh and I are leaving.”
All eyes were on her as she finished with, “I need to finally start my life, and I’m not letting anything get in the way.”
Although she could hear a fan blowing somewhere in the room, the air around her was still and stifling. Sitting in the first pew of the funeral home, Bri listened to her mother’s friends go on and on about what a giving beautiful soul she’d been.
Who the hell are these women talking about? I would never describe my mother like that.
None of the family members had taken a stance at the podium, and she wondered if they would. Her father sat on one side of her, while Josh sat on the other. Stefen, Leah, Caleb and Abby sat directly behind them. Bri knew her brother didn’t sit in the front on purpose. He didn’t want anyone to think he was actually here because of their mother.
She’d been overwhelmed when she walked in and found two more of her closest friends, Dani and Zachary, already seated. Leah and Dani’s mom, Maria, was also there with her husband, Sal, as well as Madison’s maternal grandparents, Grace and Robert. They’d all flown in for the day, just to show their support for her and the rest of her family. Glancing around at all of them, she felt her heart swelling. Despite her reason for being here, she felt lucky. So lucky.
As the speeches droned on and on, Bri leaned to the side, whispering in her father’s ear, “Who are these women talking about?”
He shrugged. “A woman I may have known a very long time ago.”
Resting her back on the hard pew, she didn’t feel right about this. Why did people go to funerals and say flowery things about people, who obviously didn’t contribute any good to anyone? She contemplated what she should do, and felt this was one of those now or never moments.
I don’t wanna look like a totally disrespectful bitch, but I can’t let this praise continue. Even if I regret this later, I will never have another opportunity to say my peace and get this kind of closure. I have to do this for myself.
As the last woman left the podium, her fifty-something eyes glistening with crocodile tears, Bri found herself getting up. She turned to Josh and whispered, “I’m standing on my own right now, but I might need you to hold me up in a minute.”
Nodding, he kissed her hand. “Whatever you need. I’m here and so is everyone else.”
Her legs shook as she walked away from her comfort zone to stand up to her mother for the first and final time.
Closing and opening her eyes, she made her way up to the wooden pedestal. Turning to face the crowd, she really couldn’t believe how many people had showed up. The room was mostly filled with women she didn’t know, but there were a few of Bri’s ex-boyfriend’s mothers scattered around. The expressions on her friends’ and family’s faces were hard and determined, nodding her on. Without a doubt, she knew they would back her up no matter what.
Blinking hard, she took a deep breath and cleared her throat. I’m not alone. Her shaking voice filled the room as she spoke into the microphone. “I once read somewhere that the relationship between a mother and daughter is the most powerful bond in the world. It affects everything in the daughter’s life, from her health and self-esteem, to all her other relationships. My life at this point is proof that this statement is true.”
Bri scan
ned the room at all of the smiling faces. At least she thought they were. Among her mother’s friends, it was difficult to tell the difference between a smile and the stiffness of Botox injections.
“A mother offers her unconditional love, support, and guidance throughout her child’s life. Nothing on earth can duplicate that kind of love.” Tightening her lips, she spoke from her heart. “Unfortunately, I’m not familiar with that statement.”
Her eyes darted to Stefen, then her father. She knew this was difficult for them to hear, but she also saw pride in their eyes for her having the nerve to do this. She looked down at her intertwined fingers gathering her courage before she continued.
“I wish I knew the woman you all described. She sounds like someone I would’ve loved.” Her bottom lip began to quiver, not for her mother but because of the pain she’d caused. “The mother I knew thought I was her biggest disappointment and felt the need to tell me that, daily.” Her throat became thick as she forced herself to get the next part out. “Even in her death, she made sure I would catch on to why she ended her own life.”
Although the frozen facial expressions did not change, gasps were heard throughout the room.
She held her head high, pushing herself to keep going. “I’m standing up here today to tell her that she did not destroy me like she’d hoped. I’m stronger now and ready to live my life without her tormenting words replaying in my head.”
Caleb’s father stood up. It was the first time she’d noticed him, and Bri couldn’t help but glare in his direction long enough for other people to turn and see what she was looking at.
Her strength increased as she finished her speech. “My mother wasted her adult life, waiting on something that would never come. Something unworthy of waiting for. I don’t plan on wasting another day on things that don’t matter and quite frankly, this funeral is a joke. You can all continue putting on your show, mourning in front of each other, but I know the truth, and I’m over it.” Bri stepped away from the podium, heading toward the back of the room. There was no need to look back and see if Josh was following her. She felt him there.
As she passed her uncle, he grabbed her hand. “That was very disrespectful, Brianna.”
She was seething. Disrespectful? Leaning forward, she yanked her hand out of his grasp. “You are the last person to talk about what’s respectful and what’s not. Move on,” she said haughtily. “I don’t want to have anything to do with you. Understand?” He jerked his head back obviously surprised by her retort.
Damn that felt good!
Stomping out of the room, she flung the door open, the sun shining brightly on her face as if it was welcoming her. She continued off until she felt Josh tug on her arm. Turning around, she found all of her family members and friends behind her, as well as the man she loved. “I wanna leave,” she told Josh. “Take me home.”
Pulling her into his arms, Josh kissed her forehead. “Okay. Let’s go.”
“Babe, the kids are gonna be here soon. Do you wanna join us today?”
Bri felt tender kisses on her eyelids, attempting to pull her out of her slumber. She’d slept a lot these last several weeks, since their return from Chicago. It took everything she had to try and pull herself out of her sleep-induced funk today. But having Josh by her side was a great reason to wake up every day.
Stretching groggily, she opened her eyes, finding her boyfriend’s loving blues staring at her.
“Yeah,” she said. “I miss the kids. I definitely want to see them today.”
His wide smile warmed her heart. “Can I help ya with anything?”
He’d been so amazing, taking care of her when, at times, all she wanted to do was curl up and shut the entire world out. She couldn’t imagine going through this without him right by her side.
Although he tried to hide his concern, she knew he worried about her. And it was difficult for her to fight unwanted thoughts, feeling like her baggage wasn’t worth putting up with anymore. But every time one of those stupid thoughts came into her head, Josh kept proving her wrong. Not only had he been taking care of her, but he’d made sure to check up on Stefen, Caleb, Leah, Abby and even her father, simply because he knew it was important to her.
Scooching into a sitting position, she leaned against the wooden headboard. “Is there any coffee?” She grinned up at him when he reached for the nightstand, picked up a mug, handing her a little piece of heaven on earth.
“Way ahead of you.” He gave her a peck on the lips.
The mug warmed her palms as she smelled the liquid happiness. “Have I told you that I love you?” She took a sip and sighed.
“Every morning when I bring you your coffee,” he chuckled. Leaning in, he stole another quick kiss before licking her coffee from his lips.
“When are they going to be here?” She blew on the hot liquid, taking a long delicious mouthful before swallowing.
Damn, he knows how to make a good cup of coffee. I think I’ll keep him.
“Two hours.” Josh stretched out on his side, resting his head on the palm of his hand.
Bri ran a finger down his white T-shirt. She loved when he laid with her like this, in just his boxers and T-shirt, with his morning hair everywhere. Totally adorable.
After one more sip, she placed the cup on the nightstand. She stood up, stretching her arms above her head. Her silky tank top lifted away from the top of her panties, revealing her lower back. “My entire body is sore from laying down so much. I guess I better jump in the shower and get ready.”
She heard the blankets rustling as Josh scrambled to get out of bed, standing behind her. “Mind if I join you?”
Peering over her shoulder, she popped her eyes open further as she strolled seductively away, stripping off her clothes. “I was counting on it.”
Her coping mechanism had changed a lot since she started dating Josh. She used to run away, travel the world. Now she wanted to face her problems head on and reward herself by getting lost in their love.
Somehow Josh managed to undress and get in to the shower before she did. She laughed, shaking her head at his goofy, eager grin.
Coffee and my man. What a great way to start my day.
Smoothing the horse brush down Smokey’s mane, Bri watched the majestic animal snort his approval. His large brown eyes blinked quickly as a fly buzzed around his face. The other three horses—Dakota, Brandy and Elvis—looked on, twitching their tails expectantly as if they were wondering when they would get their turn.
“You look happy.” Startled, she jumped, hearing Josh behind her.
Smiling shyly, she continued trailing the brush down Smokey’s long black hair. “Yeah. I’m really looking forward to seeing the kids today.” She turned her head, she sighed contently enjoying her view of him leaning against the stable door. “But mostly, I’m at peace because I feel like I finally belong somewhere.” Beaming, she added, “With someone.”
He pushed away from the barn door and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. “You’re right, you do belong here. With me. What do you say we make it official?”
She tilted her head, her hand stumbling against the horse’s coat before she dropped the brush. “Really?”
Moving her hair to the side, he kissed the intertwined hearts tattoo on her shoulder blade. “Yeah, this is as much your house as it is mine.” He spun her around to face him as Smokey protested, exhaling an entire different snort. “What do you say? Why don’t you move in with me? To our home.”
She blinked. She’d never lived with a boyfriend before. Would things change? Would he get tired of her after a while?
Smoothing her hair to the side of her face, he looked into her eyes. “Bri, whatever is going on in that beautiful head of yours, stop. I’ve never done this before either, but it feels right don’t you think?”
Bri wrapped her arms around his shoulders and gave him a humorous grin. “Can I get rid of those fugly curtains in the living room?”
“Hey.�
�� He pretended to be hurt. “You said they were fine.”
Her nose wrinkled up. “I was trying not to offend you, but really I hate those things. They look like something a caveman would put up, just to keep the sunlight out.”
The salesperson must’ve seen him coming a mile away, the day he bought those ugly things.
Sagging his shoulders, he frowned. “Fine. But nothing pink or purple, please.”
She faked offense. “But I wear a lot of purple. You don’t like my clothes?”
Looking up like he’d just shoved his foot in his mouth, he tried to rectify his words. “Everything looks good on you, babe. I meant I don't like purple or pink home decor.”
Casually cocking her eyebrow, she wasn't about to let him off the hook that easy. “You mean like everything in my condo.” He was so fun to mess with.
