‘What?’ Sojourner whispers.
I point.
‘Your sister?’
‘What the hell is she doing here?’
A man in front of us turns and puts his finger to his lips.
I lean closer to whisper into her ear. ‘She does this. Runs away. I should take her home. Parentals will be worried.’
‘Can’t it wait till after the service?’ Sojourner’s mouth almost touching my ear sends my thoughts away from Rosa.
I shake my head. My sister can’t be here. ‘I’ll come straight back.’
She squeezes my hand and I ease myself out of the pew, hating letting go of Sojourner’s hand. I cross the aisle and crouch down next to Rosa’s pew.
‘Time to go,’ I say, keeping my voice low.
The woman on the other side of Rosa looks at me questioningly. She is wearing a large red hat with feathers. I nod, hoping that will reassure her.
Rosa shakes her head. ‘Don’t want to.’ She doesn’t bother to lower her voice.
‘You have to.’ I turn to look at Sojourner, who gives me an encouraging smile. ‘I’ll carry you out if I have to.’
‘I like it here.’
‘Up, now.’
‘I want to stay!’ Rosa says loud enough that several rows of people turn to stare. ‘They beat me at home!’
I force a smile. ‘She’s lying.’
‘Are you okay, honey?’ the woman next to Rosa asks her.
Rosa shakes her head pitifully.
‘She’s my sister. She’s not supposed to be here. She snuck out. I have to get her home.’
‘Is that true, honey?’
Rosa shakes her head again.
Sojourner’s by my side now. ‘Rosa, what are you doing here?’
‘I want to learn about Jesus.’
‘I’m sure you can come back if you ask your parents for permission, Rosa,’ Sojourner whispers.
‘She says her family beats her,’ the woman in the red hat says.
‘Is that true, Rosa?’
Rosa looks down and blushes, which is a new trick. I’ve never seen her blush. How do you make yourself blush? ‘No, it’s not true. I just wanted to learn about Jesus.’
‘Jesus does not like children who lie,’ the red-hatted woman says.
The entire church is looking at us. Alice has stopped talking. I’m sure Rosa is loving that she’s the centre of attention. Sojourner takes her hand and Rosa obediently follows her down the aisle. I want to strangle her.
Out on the avenue I glare at Rosa. She’s holding Sojourner’s hand and looking forlorn. ‘I want to learn about Jesus. My mum and dad won’t let me.’
‘Bullshit, Rosa. The parentals’ll let you learn whatever you want to learn.’
‘I want to go to church with Sid. I want to learn about Jesus.’
‘Rosa, if your parents say yes you can come to church with me whenever you want. You can join us at the kids’ Bible class. You don’t have to tell lies.’ Sojourner opens her bag and pulls out a battered book. ‘This was my first Bible. You can borrow it if you like.’
Rosa takes the Bible from her and hugs it to her chest. ‘Thank you,’ she breathes, letting a few tears slide down her face. ‘I’ll read every word. Will you help me understand?’
Please. Sojourner bends down to give Rosa a hug. ‘I’ve gotta get back. See you later?’
‘Thanks. I’ll be back soon. We only live a few blocks up. Sorry about this.’
Sojourner laughs. ‘You be good now, Rosa. Mind your brother. See you soon,’ she says to me. I have an urge to kiss her cheek, but she’s already up the steps.
‘Tears? Seriously?’ I pull Rosa up the street. ‘How the hell did you know where I was? What are you doing? Where are Sally and David?’
‘I followed you,’ she says smugly. ‘You didn’t even notice. I would make a great spy.’
‘Jesus fucking Christ, Rosa.’
‘I wanted to see what you were doing.’ Rosa laughs. ‘You don’t have to pull so hard. I’m coming.’
She’s holding a long red feather in her other hand. It’s the same size and colour as the feathers in the hat of the woman she’d been sitting next to.
‘Where did you get that feather?’ I ask, though we both know.
‘I didn’t steal it. I picked it up from the floor. Isn’t it pretty? I want a big hat full of feathers. Can we go to church? I like it because of the music and the hats and that lady was saying fascinating things about purity culture. I’m more sincere than you. I was there because it was interesting – you’re only there because you like Sid.’
I check my phone. Nothing from the parentals.
‘They won’t have noticed. Sojourner likes me. What if she likes me better than she likes you?’ Rosa looks up to gauge my reaction. I’m pretty sure I’m not showing any. ‘She’s going to teach me about the Bible. I’m going to spend lots of time with her. More time than you will.’
I don’t respond.
‘I knew you wouldn’t like that. What if we’re hanging out together and Sid falls down the stairs?’
‘Jesus Christ, Rosa. You’re threatening Soj – Sid? She’s a skilled fighter – you’re a ten-year-old girl. What do you think you could do to her?’
Rosa giggles. ‘She’s going to be my best friend.’
‘No, she’s not.’ I text the parentals that I’m bringing Rosa home. I text Georgie too. —She’s messing with me again.
I knock on the study door and David opens it. He has a whiteboard marker in his hand. Sally is bent over her laptop on the couch. The parentals hadn’t noticed Rosa was gone. They haven’t looked at their phones.
‘What—’ Sally begins.
‘Rosa followed me to church. She told people there that you beat her.’
‘Again?’ David says. ‘That lie wore thin when you were wee.’
‘And she stole a feather out of someone’s hat.’
‘No, I didn’t,’ Rosa says. ‘I found it.’ She’s still holding the feather. ‘Che said I could go to church with him. But then he wanted to be alone with his girlfriend.’
‘Stop lying, Rosa,’ I say, heading towards the door.
‘Wait!’ Sally calls, chasing after me. ‘Are you okay?’
When I don’t say anything she pulls me into a hug, holding me tight. ‘I know Rosa’s…wilful. We’ll talk to her. But don’t storm out angry. You might trip.’
It’s a weak joke but I smile, feeling the anger seep away.
‘Rosa looks up to you, you know. She wants to be grown up like you.’
I imagine Rosa at seventeen. I shudder.
‘I’m okay. But I do want to go back. It’s not what I was expecting. Nothing like temple.’
Sally nods. ‘You converting?’
‘Hardly. The music was great, though.’ And the hats.
‘So it’s not about the girl?’
‘Well…’ I’m not sure what to say. It’s all about Sojourner.
‘Uh huh. I love you, Che.’
‘Love you too.’
When I walk into the church a black woman is in front of the lectern talking about the strength she’s drawn from her illness. I wondered if she’s Sojourner’s mom. I wonder what her illness is.
I sit back in the pew next to Sojourner.
‘Rosa in trouble?’ she whispers.
I nod.
The pew’s not as crowded as it was. There’s now space between our thighs. Sojourner does not take my hand. Rosa has what she wanted. All that delicious energy between me and Sojourner, that space of an almost kiss, it’s gone.
‘I bet she just didn’t want to be left out,’ Sojourner whispers.
When the service is over Sojourner thanks me for coming, hopes that I have a better sense of her faith, of her Jesus. She smiles, takes my hand for a few seconds. I’m dizzy. All I can do is stare. I can’t speak.
‘I gotta go help my mom,’ she says, letting go of my hand. ‘Can you hang around? We could get coffee? I want to hear what you tho
ught.’
I nod.
Alice walks over to me. ‘What did you think?’
‘Er,’ I say, caught in the feeling of Sojourner’s hand on mine. ‘I’m sorry about my sister interrupting you. She was here without permission, so I had to take her home.’
Alice smiles. ‘These things happen,’ she says as if Rosa were a rain shower. ‘Why don’t you bring her next time? She’s most welcome.’
I’m not sure there will be a next time. ‘Thanks. I’m glad I came. The music was wonderful. Everyone seems so warm, so happy. It made me feel good because everyone else seemed so…happy,’ I repeat.
‘I’m glad you could attend too.’
An older woman comes up to me, takes my hand in both of hers, thanks me for coming, blesses me. This happens over and over again until I feel like I’ve held hands with everyone there. Despite those other hands, all I can feel are Sojourner’s.
‘Thank you for joining us today,’ another woman says. It’s the black woman who spoke about illness on the dais. She has a frame to help her walk. She reaches out to take my hands in hers. ‘I’m Diandra Davis, Sojourner’s mother.’
‘Oh,’ I say. ‘Wonderful to meet you. I’m Che. Sojourner and I train together. I liked your…’ I pause, not sure what to call it. Speech? Talk? ‘I liked what you said about illness.’
The woman nods. She’s looking into my eyes with such intensity I feel like I should confess my sins. Though that’s Catholics, isn’t it? – not whatever kind of church this is.
‘You be kind to yourself, child,’ she says, ‘and kind to my Sojourner. God bless.’ She squeezes my hands, then moves on to talk to someone else.
We walk. I apologise for Rosa again and loosen my tie.
‘Maybe the sermons will have an impact on her,’ Sojourner says. ‘You should bring her again. I’ll ask my mom to preach about respect and obedience. She’ll laugh her butt off.’
‘Great. More time spent babysitting my stalker sister.’ I wish we weren’t talking about Rosa. ‘Does your church offer exorcisms?’
‘Funny. Most kids’ve got some devil in them.’
Not like Rosa.
We’re in Tompkins Square Park. All paths lead through it.
I think about telling Sojourner about Rosa. It’s too much. I barely know her.
We go to a coffee shop a couple of blocks past the park and grab a table by the window. We drink coffee and Sojourner insists I try a delicious red chocolate cake. She doesn’t ask me what I thought of the service. I don’t ask her what interfaith means. I’m thinking about how much I want to kiss her.
‘Your parents must be kind of hippy, right?’
‘Huh? I wish.’
‘They called you Che, so they must be about social justice and changing the world, yes?’
‘Not really. Well, some. They’re all about discipline and working from the inside to make change. They think smashing capitalism is impossible so instead you create businesses that make money but do it by creating things that help people and make the world a better place and by ploughing the money you make into more businesses that do the same and blah blah blah and they’re even disciplined about taking time off – once a week they down tools. That’s all me quoting them.’
‘Sounds like they’re Puritans.’
‘Well, except that they drink and dance and don’t believe in God.’
‘You call them by their first names.’
‘How did you know?’
Sojourner laughs. ‘Because your name is Che and because of everything you said. So you do call them by their first names?’
‘Yes. We always have because, and I’m quoting them again, we are not gendered roles, we are not a mum and a dad, we are people. They also believe that children are people and should be allowed to develop at their own pace and not forced to enact the role of child.’
‘So you get to do whatever you want? Give me some of that!’
I laugh harder.
‘I wish. Instead of saying because we told you so they say because we are legally bound to look after you and teach you and should you do this thing we do not wish you to do there could be legally sanctioned repercussions. Even if there aren’t until you are eighteen you have no legal standing to disobey us.’
‘Wow.’
‘Yeah. Arguing with them is like arguing with the wind. A caring, loving wind that wishes it could help you out. But wind. All wind.’
‘Do you ever want to punch them?’
I am not vi-o-lent. I could have said, No, I’ve never felt like that, but I don’t lie. Them not letting me spar. Them dragging us here. Them…There are times I want to punch them. ‘Maybe.’
Sojourner laughs. ‘I want to punch mine often. It’s why I box – so I don’t punch anyone outside of the ring. I channel my rage into training to make it disappear. Or not disappear exactly, but turn it into something more useful than rage. I love boxing.’
‘Yeah. Me too.’
‘I can’t disappoint my moms, you know? Mom has multiple sclerosis and Mama has done everything she can to make sure Mom’s life is as much like it was before. I don’t want to add any more trouble.’
I nod. She’s describing my life. Not making trouble because Rosa is nothing but. I think about telling Sojourner. But I don’t want to kill whatever fragments are left of what we felt between us in church when we held hands, when we almost kissed.
Sojourner talks about her next fight, how much weight she’ll have to cut. Then she has to go. She and Jaime are studying together. They have exams.
We touch fists, not mouths.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Monday morning I’m sitting at the island eating breakfast while David drinks coffee. Rosa skips down the stairs in her happy-that-it’s-maths-time mood.
‘Good morning,’ she says in her sunniest voice. ‘How are you both this morning?’ You’d almost think she cares how well we are. She’s wearing a necklace with a heart on it I haven’t seen before.
‘Where did you get that?’ I ask, touching the red, sparkling heart. I don’t think it’s glass.
‘Seimone gave it to me,’ she says, pulling herself onto a stool.
‘No maths today,’ David says. ‘Today you write an essay and read about US history.’
‘No,’ Rosa says. ‘You didn’t mean it.’
‘We did,’ David says. ‘You’ll work on it in the study with me and Sally. Cheer up, tomorrow you’re going to the New York Historical Society with Seimone and Maya and their au pair.’
‘Suzette,’ Rosa says.
‘Huh?’ David says. ‘Their school’s having a curriculum day. You’ll be learning history and you’ll be writing an essay about your visit.’
‘You don’t even read the essays you make me write.’
‘We’ll read your essay.’
‘And me?’ I ask. ‘Do you want me to go too?’ I’m hoping not.
‘You can do whatever you want, Che.’
‘That’s not fair,’ Rosa says.
‘When you sneak out and lie, there are consequences.’
Rosa glares at David. ‘There are never any consequences for you.’
‘My life is one big consequence. Go work in our office. Quietly. Sally’s on the phone.’
Rosa stomps away.
Sadly, maths is not cancelled for me. Even the crestfallen look on Geoff’s face when he hears he will not teach Rosa again until next week does not reconcile me to the hours of calculus ahead. I start counting the minutes until I can head to the gym, to Sojourner, to sparring. I’m definitely going to spar again.
An hour in I get a text and retreat to the loo to read it.
—I’m taking you shopping.
—Who is this?
For a brief moment I think it’s Sojourner. But why would Sojourner take me shopping? Also, she doesn’t have my number.
—Leilani McBrunight. Your sartorial savior.
My heart doesn’t sink exactly, but it isn’t filled with joy.
—I t
hink you have the wrong number. This is Che Taylor’s phone. (Also, it’s saviour with a u.)
—Not in this country, farm boy.
—This benighted country, I think you mean. Why would you take me shopping? You don’t like me.
—I like shopping, though. The Olds are going to inflict you on me often. I refuse to look at your tedious clothing again. It must be fixed.
I’m tempted to text fuck you. But I have a feeling that’s what she’s going for.
—Wow. Way to win me over. You should be a diplomat when you grow up.
—It’s on my list. You free this afternoon?
—No.
I’m not skipping boxing and Sojourner to go shopping with Leilani McBrunight.
—Tomorrow? This is your final offer.
I love that she thinks she’s doing me a favour.
—I’m not into shopping.
—That’s evident. I will demonstrate that it does not have to be a dire exercise in draping tedium about your person.
We’re going to see a lot of each other. The parentals are throwing a party. She will be there. We might as well be friends.
Besides, Leilani McBrunight knows more about her part of the city than anyone else I’m going to meet. She can teach me about her New York City, the one that’s full of rich people. The parentals’ new business venture means we’re going to be hanging out with rich people a lot. I need to learn their ways. Rosa said the same thing. I don’t mean it the way she means it.
—Fine. How about tomorrow morning?
She texts me an address and we agree to meet there at eleven.
—It’s on the northwest corner.
—I’ll remember to bring a compass. Should I bring an astrolabe too?
—Droll. That’s Manhattan northwest.
—Whatever that means.
—Street numbers going up = Manhattan north.
Avenue numbers going up = west. You’re welcome.
On the way to the gym I stop at the sports store Dido recommended, drop her name as instructed, and get a twenty per cent discount. I’m going to keep sparring. Papa will be delighted to see those line items.
My Sister Rosa Page 12
