by Sarah Morgan
‘I’m not going to be calm until this child is at university. Probably not even then.’
‘In that case, I want a divorce,’ Sally said, and Hayley tensed, wondering whether Patrick would be sensitive about that comment, but he was busy checking the notes she’d made.
‘This looks good.’ He flicked through the pages and glanced at her. ‘You’re thorough, aren’t you?’
‘She’s amazing,’ Sally murmured, holding onto Tom’s shoulders as another contraction ripped through her. ‘I’m so glad you brought her in, Patrick. She’s the best Christmas present you could have given me.’
Tom scowled, but his hand was gentle as he smoothed Sally’s damp hair away from her face. ‘Since when has my colleague bought you Christmas presents?’
‘Since he was my colleague, too.’ Sally groaned and leaned her head against his shoulder. ‘I worked with him until six months ago, don’t forget. That was when you were still sane, by the way.’
‘You worked here?’ Startled, Hayley put down the aqua Doppler that she’d been using to check the baby’s heart rate. ‘Are you a doctor?’ Please don’t say she’d been giving advice to a doctor for the past few hours.
‘Sally is a midwife.’ Tom looked at her and Hayley gave a whimper of embarrassment.
‘You’re a midwife? Why didn’t anyone tell me? I had no idea.’
‘I’m not a midwife at the moment,’ Sally murmured. ‘I’m a pregnant woman and, believe me, it’s entirely different. You can see that just by looking at my husband. Normally he’s a cool, calm professional but today he’s turned into a psycho freak father-to-be.’
‘Thanks,’ Tom said dryly, offering his wife another sip of water. ‘It’s just because I care about you.’
‘Please don’t get sentimental.’ Patrick gave a mock shudder. ‘I prefer it when the pair of you row.’
‘No. No rowing.’ Sally gritted her teeth again and dug her nails into Tom’s arm. ‘It was a row that put me in this position.’
‘Actually, it wasn’t so much the row as the making up,’ Tom drawled, and Patrick backed towards the door, shaking his head.
‘Enough! Hayley and I will leave you to be romantic for a few minutes.’
Agreeing that the couple needed some private time, Hayley checked the foetal heart once more before following Patrick. But before she left the room she cast a final glance towards Sally. ‘Everything is fine. I’ll be back in ten minutes but if you’re worried, press the buzzer.’
Patrick pushed coins into the vending machine and bought two cups of hot chocolate. ‘I’m not asking you what you want.’ He handed one to Hayley. ‘You’ll just have to trust me when I say that the tea tastes like dishwater and the coffee tastes like battery acid. Hot chocolate is the only option.’
‘Hot chocolate is good.’
‘You must be exhausted—let’s go and sit in my office for five minutes.’
She followed him into the room and looked around. ‘Where are the children?’
‘They’ve gone down to the play area outside the children’s ward. Posy likes the rocking horse.’ Patrick gestured towards the armchairs. ‘Collapse for a minute, I’m sure you need it. I can’t thank you enough for everything you’re doing for Sally.’
‘Oh…’ She blushed and sipped her chocolate. ‘It’s my job.’
Her job.
Patrick lounged in his chair, realising that he’d never given any thought to Hayley in her professional capacity. In fact, he was embarrassed to admit that most of his thoughts about her had been of a much shallower nature. ‘You’re a fantastic midwife. Tom isn’t easy to deal with but you stood your ground with him and you calmed Sally down. And she isn’t easy. She’s very exacting.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with being exacting.’
‘That’s why she’s so relaxed with you—your attention to detail is incredible.’ He looked at her curiously. ‘You don’t know this department but in no time at all and with no apparent fuss you’ve located every piece of equipment you need, every request form and observation chart—it’s all done. Perfect. I could stand up in a court of law and produce evidence of perfect care.’
Hayley looked alarmed. ‘I hope you won’t have to stand up in a court of law because of anything I’ve done. In my experience that sort of thing only happens when there’s a breakdown in communication.’
Patrick grinned. ‘And that’s another thing you excel at—communication. The aromatherapy was a good idea. Who taught you to do that?’
‘I went on a course. I think relaxation is important for a pregnant woman. I used to run relaxation classes in Chicago and I often used aromatherapy on the unit.’ She blew gently on her drink to cool it. ‘I don’t believe childbirth is all about following the textbook. It’s about doing what works for the individual, isn’t it? That might not be aromatherapy or massage. A few weeks ago I had a woman who couldn’t bear to be touched so massage was out of the question.’
‘So what did you do with her?’
‘I found out what she usually did to relax.’ Hayley took another sip of her chocolate. ‘Turned out she liked listening to story tapes. So that’s what we did. Instead of playing music, we listened to an actor reading Charles Dickens. I quite enjoyed it, actually. Made a nice change.’
Patrick lifted his eyebrow. ‘You got to the end of the book?’
‘It was a long labour,’ Hayley said cheerfully, and Patrick looked at her with new respect, realising how little he knew about her.
Away from the work environment she was funny and self-deprecating, but here she was pure professional. ‘Did you always want to be a midwife?’
‘It was that or paediatric nursing but I found that too upsetting,’ she admitted. ‘Midwifery is a happy job.’
Patrick laughed. ‘A happy job?’
‘Yes.’ She gave a self-conscious shrug. ‘You get to spend time with people in their happiest moment and I think that’s very special. There is no feeling as good as handing someone their child, is there? Of course, sometimes it goes wrong and that’s dreadful.’ She paused for a moment and he sensed there had been plenty of moments in her career that hadn’t been ‘happy’.
‘And then there’s the long hours.’ Patrick thought about the moans of the midwives he worked with. ‘Missing weekends.’
‘But that’s because, generally speaking, you’re staying with a woman right the way through her labour, and that’s wonderful.’ Hayley put her cup on the floor. ‘The alternative would be handing over care to someone else halfway through labour. I think that’s unfair on the woman and stressful. You have a short time in which to build a relationship of trust—you can’t go home halfway through and expect that woman to just bond with someone else.’
‘So you’re not tired of midwifery?’
‘Tired of it? Gosh, no. Never. I love it. Perhaps I haven’t done it for long enough to become disenchanted.’
Patrick watched her curiously. It was so unusual to hear someone saying how much they loved their job. But Hayley was so enthusiastic he could imagine she’d lift the spirits of any colleagues she worked with. And he couldn’t imagine her becoming disenchanted with anything. ‘You must love it,’ he drawled softly, ‘or you wouldn’t be here on Christmas Day.’
‘You gave me no choice.’ But her smile said otherwise. ‘What about you? Don’t you love it?’
‘Yes. Although occasionally I worry about my children. Inevitably I’m called out more than I’d like to be.’
‘How do you cope with child care? I would have thought you’d have a live-in nanny.’
‘I didn’t want someone living in our home,’ Patrick said quietly. ‘I wanted it to be just us. A family. But it’s harder that way—requires more planning. Posy comes to the nursery in the hospital—that’s easy. Alfie goes to school. And I use Mrs Thornton before and after school. And she stays the night occasionally if she has to.’
Hayley grinned. ‘This is the same Mrs Thornton who wears scary red lipstick and fancies yo
u?’
Captivated by her smile, Patrick had to force himself to concentrate. ‘That’s the one. She’s actually very good with the children. And she’s relatively local, which helps. Although clearly I have to make sure I’m not alone in a room with her.’
Hayley looked at him. ‘Well, I’m sure it’s hard, juggling work with children, but you obviously thrive on it. You look very happy for a man who’s working on Christmas Day.’
Did he?
Patrick gave a start. He was happy, he realised. Very happy. Just being around her made him want to smile. That realisation unsettled him. ‘It’s Christmas Day,’ he said blandly, standing up and throwing his cup in the bin. ‘And my friends are about to have a baby. Plenty to smile about.’
Hayley stood up too. ‘Christmas babies are always exciting.’ Her eyes sparkled and Patrick suddenly wanted to box her up like a present and keep her in his life for ever.
Seriously spooked by his thoughts, he dragged his gaze from hers and pushed open the door. ‘Come on. We’d better get back before Tom has a nervous breakdown.’
Over the next few hours, Hayley stayed with Sally, monitoring mother and baby.
‘Tell me I’m making progress,’ Sally moaned, and Hayley smiled and dimmed the lights slightly.
‘You’re making excellent progress. I’m proud of you.’ As she finished speaking the door opened and Patrick strolled into the room.
‘Hi, there. Just checking up on you.’ Patrick squatted down next to Sally and touched her arm. ‘How are things?’
Hayley’s heart was bumping so hard she turned away and concentrated on the charts to give herself a moment to recover.
‘I’m never sleeping in the same bed as Tom again if that’s what you’re asking me.’ Sally breathed in deeply. ‘And I want Hayley to come and live with me and be my new best friend. Apart from that, everything is fine.’
Realising that if she didn’t respond she’d draw attention to herself, Hayley turned with a smile. ‘I’ll come and live with you. You make me laugh and you have the same size feet as me. I can borrow your shoes.’
Patrick glanced at Tom. ‘You’re looking tense. What’s the matter?’
‘I want her out of the water,’ Tom muttered, but Sally rolled her eyes and Patrick stood up and took the charts from Hayley.
‘This is looking fine.’ He scanned them carefully. ‘Remind me how long she’s been in the water?’
Hayley checked the clock. ‘Four hours.’ She lifted her eyebrows. ‘That went quickly.’
‘It’s because we were talking about the three S’s.’ Sally tightened her grip on the side of the pool. ‘Shoes, shopping and sex.’
‘Sex?’ Patrick’s eyes narrowed and he turned to look at Hayley, a question in his eyes.
She tried to look innocent but felt her cheeks growing hotter and hotter under his sharp blue gaze.
He knew. He knew she’d been talking about him.
Oh, help—couldn’t Sally have been a little more discreet?
‘Nothing like a conversation about sex to remind a girl how she got herself in this mess,’ Sally said blithely, and Hayley squirmed.
‘I think I’ll just get myself a quick drink as the two of you are here.’ Desperate to escape, she pushed the aqua Doppler into Patrick’s hand and slunk towards the door. ‘Back in a minute.’
CHAPTER FIVE
HAYLEY hunted down somewhere to hide her burning face. Why had Sally been so tactless? What on earth was she going to say to Patrick? She wished she hadn’t been so honest with Sally. Slinking along the corridor, she found a staffroom. Fortunately it was empty, several half-drunk cups of cold coffee abandoned in the middle of the table.
New Year’s resolution, she told herself firmly.
No more talking about herself. Ever.
‘So whose sex life were you talking about?’ Patrick’s voice came from behind her and she spun round nervously.
‘Oh, I thought you were with Sally.’
‘Tom’s with Sally. Despite his apparent ineptitude he is, in fact, more than capable of monitoring his own wife for ten minutes.’ Patrick’s gaze didn’t shift from her face. ‘So?’
‘So, what?’ Keeping her tone innocent, Hayley avoided the subject, hoping he’d just give up. ‘Sally’s lovely, isn’t she?’
‘Delightful. She’s also extremely preoccupied with my love life.’
‘She cares about you. Do you want tea? Coffee? No, of course you don’t. You want to get back to Sally.’ She looked at him pointedly but he didn’t move.
‘How much did you tell her?’
Hayley looked around desperately, wondering if the staffroom had an emergency exit. She had a feeling she was going to need it. What had Sally said to him? She tried to buy herself some time, hoping that his mobile would ring. ‘What makes you think I told her anything?’
‘Hayley.’ Patrick’s voice was patient. ‘There is a taxi driver a few miles from here who knows everything about you from your bra size down to the colour of your knickers, and you were only in his vehicle for fifteen minutes. You’ve been with Sally for the best part of six hours so I think it’s fair to assume that she has a fairly good grasp of your life story by now.’
‘I did not tell him the colour of my—That was a total accident because he just happened to pick the phone up when I was talking to you and that was absolutely not my fault.’ Affronted, Hayley looked at him but still his gaze didn’t shift from hers and she scowled. ‘Did you ever think about being a lawyer? You should be a lawyer. You have a way of looking at people that makes them want to confess to things they didn’t do. Could you stop looking at me like that?’
Patrick’s brows lifted, but there was a glimmer of humour in his eyes. ‘How am I looking at you?’
‘Like I’m an idiot,’ Hayley mumbled, and the humour faded.
‘Hayley, I do not think you’re an idiot. Far from it. On the contrary, I think you’re an exceptional midwife. Really exceptional. Sally isn’t an easy patient and you’ve got her eating out of your hand.’
‘That’s different.’ Hayley stopped the pretence of making tea. ‘That’s my job. But the rest of it—I feel guilty,’ she admitted hopelessly. ‘And, yes, I feel like an idiot because I should have been able to find some way of smoothly deflecting her questions, instead of which I just blurted everything out like I always do.’ She gave him a look of helpless apology. ‘Why do I always do that? Why can’t I just be discreet and enigmatic?’
‘I’m not sure if that was a rhetorical question but if you really want an answer then I suspect it has something to do with the fact that you’re incurably honest.’
‘Well, whatever it is I am, I wish I was something different.’ Frustrated with herself, Hayley flopped down onto the chair and buried her face in her hands. ‘I’m so sorry. I messed up. I admit it. I didn’t want to say anything, I didn’t want to embarrass you, but Sally sort of wormed it out of me and if I hadn’t answered I would have looked rude. She’s a patient and a consultant’s wife and anyway she sort of guessed and—’
‘Hayley, breathe.’
‘Sorry?’ She glanced up at him and saw that the humour was back in his eyes.
‘As usual, you’re forgetting to breathe. You’re going to pass out.’
‘I never pass out. I’ve never fainted in my life.’
‘Then let’s not make today the first time.’
‘Look, I feel really guilty, OK? I mean, this is where you work.’ Nervous under his steady gaze, she pulled the clips out of her hair, twisted it and pinned it up again. ‘And I can understand that you don’t want people gossiping about you. I’m really sorry I told her.’
‘In the interests of consistency, what exactly did you tell her?’
‘The truth, of course.’
Patrick studied her for a moment, a strange look in his eyes. ‘How much of the truth?’
‘Enough. I mean, I didn’t tell her absolutely everything—’ Hayley frowned, trying to remember exactly what she had
said. ‘I definitely missed out the part where you thought I was pregnant and I skirted over the bit where you kissed me in the kitchen.’ Her face burned at the memory. ‘But I might have mentioned one or two things about that night in Chicago.’
His face was poker straight. ‘Did you tell her that you left your knickers on my bedroom floor?’
Hayley squirmed. ‘Maybe. Possibly. It might have been mentioned.’
The corner of his mouth flickered. ‘It sounds to me as though you’ve been the soul of discretion.’
‘You’re laughing at me again.’
‘I’m not laughing. Hayley you’re so sensitive—’
‘Because I know I keep saying the wrong things at the wrong time! I just can’t stop myself. My mouth is constantly getting me into trouble.’ She heard him draw in a breath and saw his gaze drop to her mouth and linger there as if he was thinking about…
And so was she.
She was thinking about nothing else. Sex, sex, sex. That was the only thing on her mind when she looked at Patrick.
Hayley jumped up and hurried over to the water cooler, wondering whether she could fit her burning body inside it. She’d made a decision that she wasn’t going to think about him in that way. And now she was doing it again. One look, and she was willing to forget all her promises to herself. Really, she needed to do something about herself. Something serious.
‘So you’re not mad with me, then?’ Keeping her tone light, she poured herself a glass of water that she didn’t want.
‘I’m not mad. But I did want to check exactly what you’ve told her so that we give her the same story.’ Patrick joined her at the water cooler and gently removed the cup from her hand, his fingers brushing against hers. ‘Do you mind if I drink that, given that you don’t want it?’
‘How do you know I don’t want it?’ Her voice was a squeak and his eyes gleamed with gentle mockery.
‘Because you’re easy to read.’ His eyes rested on hers for a moment and then he sighed. ‘I think perhaps it’s time I took you home.’
Hayley’s heart pounded like the drum in an orchestra.
