by Lee Piper
I had lost my brother.
He was really, truly gone.
Mum and Dad were never going to forgive me.
****
I must have fallen asleep. As much as I wanted to stay awake and continuously gorge myself on Dominic, my body could not keep going. It must have been the orgasms, and boy there had been many, so many in fact, I lost count after the fifth time Dominic entered me. Since we were not going to see each other again—God, I could not even think about it without my stomach knotting—Dominic wholeheartedly threw his I never sleep with the same woman twice mantra out the window.
Best. Night. Of. My. Life.
Sadly, like all good things, it ended.
When the sunlight streaming through the open curtains woke me the next day, there was no warm, muscled body wrapped around me, no deep voice talking dirty in my ear, no … anything. Instead, there was an indent where his head had rested on the pillow next to mine and the scent of his skin on the sheets. I may or may not have burrowed my head into them before inhaling like a drowning lunatic.
Pathetic.
After scolding myself for a solid ten minutes about the stupidity of my actions, followed by another five on the ridiculousness of harboring strong feelings for someone who refused to admit his own, I dragged myself out of bed and gave Grace a call. After all, with everything that had gone down, she was probably in worse shape than I was.
“Yeah?” she croaked, after picking up the phone.
Yep, the girl sounded like shit. “G, you okay?”
“No. Levi’s staying, Riley. In Melbourne. They’re all staying and I can’t… I just—” She sobbed and my heart broke for her. This was the first time Grace allowed a man into her life after Dylan royally fucked her over twelve months ago and the thought of her dealing with this situation on her own brought out my protective side, big time.
“You’re going to be okay, G. You and Levi are in love, anyone who has seen the two of you together can tell it’s meant to be. You’ll make it work somehow, I know it.”
There was a loud sniff on her end of the line.
This was exactly what I needed. Distraction 101. “Right, you’re heading home today, aren’t you?”
She mumbled something comparable to a yes.
“What are your flight details? I’m going to swap mine so we can fly home together.”
Once I promised to meet her down in the lobby in just over an hour, I went about reorganizing my life. My flight was changed, my belongings were packed and finally, after not being able to put it off any longer, I washed the lingering remains of Dominic off my skin in another hot shower.
Don’t overthink it, just move on. It was time.
And it was. As much as I wanted to wallow in self-pity, I could not afford to do so just then. I had a broken-hearted best friend to care for, a business to set up, a job to return to and a date to go on. Jesus, with all the drama I completely forgot about Robin. I shook my head.
Note to self—schedule a mental breakdown for later.
Chapter Seventeen
The choice here is mine,
Your problem, not mine,
This emotion, it’s mine,
What I do here—mine,
Call it initiative—fine.
—MONDEZ, “Together Apart”
Poor Grace, she was an absolute mess. As soon as she stepped out of the elevator and shuffled toward me, with dark circles under her eyes and the most defeated expression I had ever seen plastered across her face, I dropped my bags and ran toward her. Throwing my arms around her stooped frame, I hugged her as hard as I could. “I’m so glad I changed my flight.”
And I was. By the looks of it, apocalyptic zombies slowly being eaten alive by a flesh-eating virus had more life left in them than her. So I let go, grabbed our stuff and whisked her outside into a waiting taxi.
Apart from the intermittent sobbing coming from G’s direction, the flight and drive back home was fairly uneventful. Dominic must have infiltrated my phone at some point last night because as I scrolled through my playlist for something to listen to, I noticed Mondez’s EP was front and center. I shook my head, trying to fight the smile that threatened to overtake my face before realization hit—we were never going to see each other again—and I suddenly lost all reason for happiness after that. As though sensing my somber turn of thoughts, Grace sniffed loudly beside me.
I know exactly how you feel, G.
But I straightened my shoulders and put on a brave face for both our sakes because blubbering about something I had no control over was not going to help me one iota. Doctor Powell was going to be thrilled at this new and improved mindset when I told her about it on Monday. Not that the temptation to channel my inner drama queen was not strong. Oh, boy, all I felt like doing was crawling into bed and refusing to leave it until the knot in my stomach eased up enough to let me breathe again.
Fucking Dominic.
Once we arrived back at our apartment, it was late afternoon. I ordered Grace into the shower. While she was bawling her eyes out under the spray, I quickly unpacked both our belongings. I even managed to scrape together a remotely healthy meal from the leftovers in the fridge, which was a definite win.
Thankfully, I had gotten rid of Robin’s roses before leaving for the airport. So being able to navigate the kitchen without the cruel reminder of how Dominic and I christened the countertop was not the agonizing experience it might otherwise have been. Not to say I didn’t stare at the laminated surface for a solid six minutes before catching myself and internally slapping my own face, there was definitely that. Well, before I sanitized the heck out of it, twice.
After feeding Grace, confiscating any and all whiskey bottles, and sending her off early to bed, I at last allowed myself to get ready for the date with Robin. To say I was hesitant would not be an exaggeration, and it was strange because logically I knew he was an awesome guy. He was intelligent, kind, attractive—heck, he built a business around women wanting to have children for Christ’s sake, what could be more perfect than that? But despite it all, I just wasn’t feeling it, something still held me back. I sighed.
Who was I kidding? It wasn’t something, it was someone.
Dominic.
Bloody hell.
I knew I was being ridiculous—believe me, I was well aware of the new heights my deluded fantasies had reached—but a small part of my brain still held out hope he would jump on the next plane home. My overactive imagination pictured him storming through the front door, sweeping me off my feet before declaring his undying love and lifelong commitment.
I know, I know.
I shook my head, slipping on a red summer dress. “Never gonna happen, Riley.” After tidying my hair and dabbing my lips with some gloss, I muttered, “It’s time to focus on yourself, for real this time.”
So that’s what I did.
Well, until I received a text message a minute later.
Bootycall: Miss me yet?
Me: No.
Lie.
Bootycall: Bet ur pussy does.
I groaned and flopped back onto my bed. Great, now I was flushed and throbbing before a date with someone who did not go by the name of Dominic. Damn that man and his sweet, filthy mind.
Bootycall: My cock misses you … so does my tongue & hands.
Me: Dominic…
Bootycall: Angel…
Me: I’ve gotta go.
Bootycall: Why? Got a hot date or something?
I did not reply.
Bootycall: Are you fuckin’ shitting me, right now?
Me: I’ll call you later.
I turned my phone off after that, refusing to feel bad about my date. After all, it was Dominic’s decision to leave, not mine. I would not punish myself any longer. Truly. See? This was me completely nailing the whole strong, independent woman thing.
Maybe I needed some more practice.
****
“You’re quiet tonight, everything okay?”
I glanced up
from the half-empty wine glass in my hand to Robin’s concerned gaze. His eyes were so beautiful, so expressive.
“Of course,” I fibbed. “Just tired, I guess. It’s been a crazy few days.”
He nodded as though in understanding. “I get it.”
You really don’t.
Then, gently bumping my shoulder, Robin asked, “How was the band?”
“Amazing,” I breathed, before catching myself and blushing. Luckily, the sun had already set over the horizon and where we sat on the sandy shoreline, eating antipasto and drinking wine, was becoming darker by the minute. So with any luck, he did not notice my flushed cheeks or obvious embarrassment.
Robin laughed, proving me wrong. “Sounds like you’re a huge fan of theirs.”
I took a healthy swallow of the white wine before answering. “You could say that.” Clearing my throat, I continued. “I mean, they’re insanely talented and when they play it’s like…” I shrugged, shifting my eyes to the flickering light of a small fishing boat as it bobbed up and down to the rhythm of the ocean’s current. “It’s like the whole world disappears and it’s just him, I mean them, and me, you know?”
Robin chuckled again. “Not really.” I caught his gaze, and he gave an apologetic grin. “I’m not really into music, I just listen to whatever’s playing. It all becomes white noise after a while.”
I tried to look away before my disappointment showed too strongly but the breeze chose that moment to pick up and Robin tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “I’m glad you enjoy it though.”
Not gonna lie, the heat in his stare and the contact of his fingers felt nice, really nice, so I leaned into his hand for a moment. Robin moved forward, his eyes on my lips, and a second later his mouth brushed against mine. Before long, the contact grew firmer, more insistent, and I opened my mouth to admit his seeking tongue. He tasted of crisp white wine and I surrendered to his sensual exploration, willing myself to empty my mind and stay in the moment. Robin’s hand slipped into my hair. The gesture immediately transported me back to last night when Dominic tugged my head back in an abandoned passion just before thrusting inside me.
I pulled away, shocked at the direction my thoughts had turned.
What. The. Actual. Fuck?
Robin blinked a few times as though trying to regain focus, his confusion and concern obvious. “Riley?”
“Sorry, I—” I shook my head, trying desperately to clear the mental images that bombarded me the minute I let my guard down. “I just think it’s best if we take it slow, that’s all.” My weak smile was pathetic by any standards.
“Oh, sure thing. Sorry, I didn’t mean to push.” He cupped the side of my face again, his thumb skimming over my cheek. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Inwardly, I half-swooned, half-groaned.
Of course you’re not.
Robin dropped his hand and refilled my wine glass. “Here.” He raised his eyebrows in surprise as I took a huge mouthful, choked, and then spent the next few minutes trying to clear my blocked airways.
“You okay?”
I nodded.
Smooth, Riley. Real smooth.
After a lengthy pause during which time I managed to take markedly smaller sips without asphyxiating myself, I made a decision. It was time. I needed to let go of the fantasy that was Dominic Mondez. I mean, Robin was here and Dominic, clearly, was not. Surely, a man who resided in the same state was the better choice in a potential long-term relationship than a man who had moved across the country? And I wanted a relationship, one that was based on trust, honesty and mutual respect. I craved a connection which did not solely exist on the heady fumes of sexual attraction—no matter how potent.
So, if I was really going to make it work between Robin and me, I had to open up and tell him things, important things, like my new career pathway. I cleared my throat. “I’ve, ah, I’ve got something to tell you.”
“Yeah?”
“It’s a big deal, well, to me anyway.” Those gorgeous hazel eyes begged me to confide in him so I took a deep breath and blurted, “I’m going to start my own business.”
Robin’s face lit up like I just offered him an evening filled with endless blowjobs. “Seriously? That’s fantastic.”
I nodded, grinning, thrilled at his reaction.
“Good on you, Riley. You’ll make a fantastic obstetrician.”
“Oh, um, I actually meant—”
“Don’t get me wrong, the study is going to be brutal, especially with work. But I’m sure your parents can help you out financially so you can cut back on your shifts at the hospital.”
“Whoa.” I held up my hand, essentially halting that train wreck of an idea before it could build up any steam. I mean, rely on my parents when all I craved was to escape them? Hell to the no. Was he out of his mind?
“Robin, I’m not going to set up my own obstetrics practice.”
He looked so confused it was sweet. “You aren’t?”
“No. I’m going to start my own personal training business.”
“Oh.” His face fell and so did something in the pit of my stomach. “Really? But why? There’s plenty of personal trainers out there and I know for a fact it’s almost impossible to make a career out of it.” I’m sure his smile was an attempt at softening the blow. “My cousin tried it once.”
“Hang on, so if one person couldn’t make a go of it then I can’t either? Is that what you’re saying?” I put down my wine glass, wiped residual sand off my fingers and stood. Glaring at him I continued, “You know what, Robin? I’d really appreciate some support here. This is a huge step for me and the fact you just discounted it as hopeless from the very beginning is—” I turned away, blinking back tears of frustration.
Robin quickly stood and took hold of one of my hands, turning me back to face him. It was a good thing too because then it meant I could not do something stupid with it, like punch him. For the record, I was not a violent person by nature but the way he immediately dismissed my idea hurt, a lot.
“Riley, wait.” Robin took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, his face contrite. “Look, I’m really sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to be a jerk about your idea, it’s just that—” He looked toward the black water, appearing to gather his thoughts before gazing at me again. His eyes were so sincere I decided to shelve all unhelpful thoughts that consisted of my fist connecting with his face. Big of me, I know.
“I don’t want to freak you out by saying this but you’ve kinda forced my hand here.” Robin grimaced at my glare. “Okay, so my dick-like behavior forced my hand.” His grip on my fingers tightened, and he took another deep breath before continuing. “I think I’m falling for you, Riley.” My face must have revealed my obvious shock because he started talking faster. “I know it’s early and we’ve only just started seeing each other, but there’s something about you…” He gave a sheepish smile and half-shrug that had my anger dissipating at a ridiculous rate.
“You’re the kind of woman who doesn’t come along very often. You’re smart, beautiful, empathetic—I could go on, but you might panic even more and I really don’t want you running away from me right now.” Robin stepped in close until I could smell the citrus undertones of his aftershave. “Which is why I acted like an ass before. I care about you, I don’t want to see you hurt or disappointed. I want to see you … flourish.”
“Flourish?”
“I know, total douche thing to say. I swear, I’m one hundred percent male and not secretly an eighty-five-year-old woman in disguise.”
Moving forward until my breasts brushed his hard chest, I murmured, “I believe you.”
Robin’s pupils dilated at the contact.
“Thank you for apologizing, it means a lot.” Letting go of his hands, I trailed my fingers up the corded muscles of his arms. They were not as ridiculously strong as the others I felt recently but they were still nice, solid, dependable. He wrapped them around my waist.
“And I’ve found a gap in the market I�
��m pretty sure I can capitalize on.” My hands wound their way around the back of his neck and I felt him harden against me. “But you interrupted before I could tell you.”
Robin rested his forehead against mine. “I’m sorry.” His face grew concerned as he asked, “You sure this enterprise is what you want to do?”
“Yes. It’ll work, it has to.”
He nodded once, murmuring, “If you say so,” before kissing me.
****
“What?”
“And hello to you too,” I teased.
“Not in the mood, Riley.” The sound of footsteps thudding on what I assumed were the wooden floorboards of Sunset Recording Studios, echoed down the phone line. I could picture Dominic pacing back and forth in my mind and for some strange reason the image made me smile.
“I miss you.” The words left my mouth before I could gaffer-tape my lips shut.
He snorted. “You’ve got a fucked up way of showing it.”
Okay, then.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“My cock was inside you last night and you’ve already gone on a motherfucking date with someone else,” he growled. “That shit’s just low, and the fact the guy’s a chino-wearing pussy makes it goddamn worse.”
“Hey, Robin’s a nice guy.”
“So you’re defending him now?”
I took three calming breaths. “This was your decision, remember? You’re the one who decided to stay in Melbourne, not me.”
“To play in a kickass band has been my dream ever since I was a kid, Riley, I did what I had to do. Besides, I’ve got three other guys to consider, I couldn’t back out of the contract even if I wanted to.” He paused. “Anyway, you left too.”
That got my attention. “Huh?”
“You left me too. Only, you don’t see me shacking up with some bitch on the same day we fucked.” He continued, muttering, “Though blowing my load in some easy pussy would be a fuckin’ relief after the day I’ve had.”
Now it was my turn to grow annoyed, really annoyed. “Firstly, you’ve never offered anything more than a one-night stand, so why on earth would I stay? Secondly, we didn’t fuck in the shower, Dominic, and you know it.”
