by Lee Piper
You don’t own me, you don’t own me, you don’t—
I swallowed, steeled myself and then glanced across the beer garden.
Own me.
Fuck.
Dominic was leaning against the wall, his black button-down shirt almost bursting at the seams. I blamed those insanely strong pecs and biceps. Honestly, they were huge. And the way his dark blue jeans hung enticingly low off narrow hips… It should be illegal. He was going to give someone—AKA me—a cardiac arrest if he wasn’t careful.
I shook my head. With a bottle of beer in one hand and a buxom blonde in the other—this one looked nastier than most—the guy was the physical embodiment of everything I despised. Truly.
If only my body would listen.
Raising the drink to full, kissable lips, he tipped his head back, piercing gaze still locked on me. He then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, a flicker of emotions I couldn’t identify crossing his face when he noticed my breath catch.
The girl must have registered his distraction too because she started rubbing herself up against him like an overly aroused limpet. Gross. He broke contact with me and looked down at her, a dark smile tugging his lips. After murmuring something in her ear and slapping her on the ass, she giggled. I looked away, that familiar painful knot forming in my stomach once more.
Damn you, Dominic Mondez. Damn you to hell.
Chapter Twenty
I’m done waiting,
For fate to decide,
I’m done waiting,
Out from the inside.
—MONDEZ, “Fate”
“What is it with you and guys wearing chinos?”
I spun to glare at the obscenely ripped manwhore towering over me. His beer, like the blonde whose dress rivaled the size of a postage stamp ripped in half, had disappeared. Instead, he glowered down at me, his hands clenching and unclenching, testosterone practically seeping from his pores. Not that I cared.
Standing slowly, I shot him a look so disdainful even Mum would have been proud. The closeness of our bodies and the wall of heat radiating from his broad chest had no effect on me. Honest. This man couldn’t hurt me anymore, there was nothing left inside to break.
“I’ve got nothing to say to you, Dominic. Leave me alone.”
“Do you know this guy?” Sebastian’s incredulous gaze darted between me and the seething pile of muscle standing before us. The poor guy looked like he needed to breathe into a brown paper bag.
“Yes—”
“No—”
I gritted my teeth. “We used to know each other.” My words were directed at Sebastian but I didn’t once break eye contact with Dominic. “But it’s over.”
“The hell it is.”
Sebastian stood, attempting to skirt around us. “Sounds like you two have a lot of … stuff to sort out, so I’ll just—” I put my hand on his shoulder, preventing him from moving any farther.
“No, stay.”
“Get your fuckin’ hand off him, Riley,” Dominic growled.
Sebastian’s face looked pained when I refused to listen. “Ignore him, he’s got nothing to say to me that I want to hear.”
Dominic growled.
“Ah—” Sebastian looked like he would rather have root canal surgery than remain standing where he was and I shot daggers at Dominic for making him feel so uncomfortable.
Dominic scowled at Sebastian. “Fuck off.”
The man did not need to be told twice, he shot out of there like a clown from a cannon and I rounded on Dominic, furious. “Why are you such an asshole?”
“We’re not done here.”
“I’m not a fucking burger. You can’t pick me up and put me back down again whenever the hell you want. I’m a person, Dominic, with feelings and you’ve screwed with them one too many times. It’s over, leave me alone,” I panted with rage and made to move past him.
His hand shot out and gripped my upper arm, spinning me around to face him. “No.”
“No?”
“No, you’re not walking away. No, I’m not screwing with you. And no, it’s not over between us.”
I blinked at the ferocity in his gaze, the brutal honesty leveled at me froze my feet in place—I couldn’t move if I tried. My mouth opened, closed and then opened again in a vain attempt to say something equal parts witty and cutting, only nothing came out.
Dominic stepped in close, his body flush with mine. I swear, I could feel his heartbeat, its erratic thumps pummeled against my chest. “Tell me you don’t want me.” My breath caught in my throat. “Tell me your body doesn’t burst into fuckin’ flames whenever we touch, that seeing me again isn’t a dream you never want to wake from.”
I shook my head, mute.
Dominic’s grip tightened, his fingers branding my skin. “Go on, tell me.” He leaned forward, his lips brushing against my ear as he whispered, “I dare you.”
“I don’t want you,” I breathed.
He shifted back, his gaze searching my face. “You’re lying.”
A lone tear escaped from the corner of my eye and trickled its way down my cheek, I refused to wipe it away.
“And I know you’re lying because it’s the same goddamn lie I tell myself every single day.”
I gasped.
Dominic’s gaze turned earnest. “I don’t deserve you, Riley, I know that. I’m a jerk, a fuckup, and I’ve hurt you more times than I can count.” He cradled my face in his hands like I was made of precious china. “But when I’m with you it’s like…” He paused. “It’s like you see the man I want to be.”
Closing my eyes, I attempted to quash the waves of emotion rolling through me. “Don’t do this to me, Dominic, please.”
“Too late. It’s too late, angel. From the moment you knocked me flat on my ass it was a done deal. And I tried, I really fuckin’ tried to keep my distance but you were so damn determined to see the best in me.” He leaned in, his breath caressing my skin as he continued, “I can’t stay away.” Dominic kissed me, his lips soft and worshipful. Stupidly, I let him. “You’re mine.”
“No, I—”
“And I’m yours.”
My eyes snapped open. “What?”
“I love you, Riley. Took me ages to admit it to myself but now I have, I’m never letting you go.”
I took a step back. This couldn’t be happening, it just… It couldn’t. I refused to get my hopes up only to have them pulverized into an ash-like dust once again. “But, the other women—”
“They were you. They were all you.”
Shaking my head, I exclaimed, “You’re not even making any sense.”
“As soon as you exploded into my life every woman I touched reminded me of you. One had your eyes, another had the color of your hair, one even had your tits.”
I glared at him. “You’re seriously not helping matters.”
“But since making love to you in Melbourne—”
“Now you admit it,” I muttered.
“I couldn’t do it anymore, it felt wrong.”
“What about Candi?”
Dominic sighed. “Candi tried to make a move on me. She rocked up unannounced at my apartment, wanting to fuck. So, yeah, it was her voice you heard while we were talking on the phone but I swear to you, Riley, nothing happened.” Dominic’s gaze gentled. “Angel, don’t you understand? You’re it for me, there’s no one else.”
I turned my face away, blinking hard, hating the fact I was still standing in front of him.
“Look, I know I’m a fuckup. I’ve made some piss-poor decisions in the past that I’m not proud of.” He trailed one hand down my arm, entwining his fingers with mine. “But I’m gonna make it up to you, I promise you that.”
I really wished I had the lady balls to pull myself away. Clearly, they had shriveled up and died along with my dignity.
Thankfully, the ever-helpful image of Postage Stamp Girl popped into my head, almost singeing the back of my retinas. “How can you say this to me when only fifteen minute
s ago you were groping a life-size Bratz doll? I’m not a fucking idiot, I have eyes, you know.”
He at least had the decency to appear sheepish. “That was Nicole, she’s Evan’s other half.”
“Who the hell is Evan?”
“The lead singer of Dead Man Walking, the band whose set was before Levi’s.”
“You mean the short guy?” He nodded, and I gaped at him, stunned. “Huh.”
“She owed me a favor from a while back, so I mentioned what happened between us and she agreed to help.”
“By dry humping your leg?”
Dominic shrugged. “I just wanted to test the waters, see if you’d react. Figured if you did, then you still had feelings for me.” His pupils dilated as his free hand traced along my jawline, stopping briefly to hover above my lips before dropping away again. “When you looked at me, I knew.”
I was almost too afraid to ask. “Knew what?”
“You loved me too.”
I remained quiet, attempting to process everything that had been said. Finally, I whispered, “I do love you.” Drawing on a strength I never knew I had, I continued. “But I love myself more.” Dominic looked panicked and his grip on my hand intensified. “As much as I want to, I can’t switch off my hurt and forget everything you’ve put me through.”
“Tell me what I have to do.” He was desperate. “I’ll do anything.”
“Quit Mondez and move back to Geographe Bay.”
Dominic didn’t even blink. “Done.”
“Are you crazy?” I smacked one of his bulging pecs, wincing when the impact stung like a bitch. “You can’t give up your music just because I ask you to.”
“Yeah, I can. You’re all that matters to me.”
I scowled. “Stop being so damn nice, it’s making it really difficult to hate you right now.”
Dominic smiled at my petulance. He reached out and threaded his fingers through my shortened hair, tucking it behind my ear. “Angel, if you want me to move back here, I’ll move. If you want me to quit music, I’ll quit. I don’t give a shit where I am or what I’m doing as long as we’re together.”
The man literally took my breath away.
And then it hit me.
“I forgive you,” I murmured. “I do.”
Relief washed over Dominic’s features as he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me close. “Thank fuck.” He pressed his forehead against mine.
I looked up into his face, the face of a man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. “If you were willing to give up your childhood dream just to be with me…” I kissed him then, with everything I had, all the hope for our future, pain from our past, and confusion in between. It was all there in its messy, chaotic glory—we reveled in it.
When we finally came up for air, I whispered, “You’re already the man you wanted to be, Dominic.”
Love, true love, did not get any more selfless than that.
Epilogue
Love, don’t hold me back now,
Love, won’t hold me back now,
Love, you’re all we’ve got now,
Love.
—MONDEZ, “Finally”
“Christ, woman, how much shit have you got in these boxes?” Grace’s emerald green eyes flashed in astonishment. With a laptop in one hand and a notebook in the other, she looked ready to chair a board meeting rather than unpack the rest of my things.
I grimaced when she dumped my belongings on the floor before once again reaching into the cardboard box. “What the hell is this?”
Grace held up a black folder, its color-coded index tabs perfectly matched the copious amounts of scribbled on post-it notes attached to the front.
“My organizer.”
“Isn’t that what your laptop is for? And your phone? And your notebook?”
Huffing, I placed my hands on my hips. “So I like to be organized, sue me.”
Grace snorted and beside me, Katrina stifled a giggle.
The three of us had spent the better part of the day moving me into my new apartment—correction, into Dominic’s and my new apartment. There was no way I was letting him forego his childhood dream of making a living out of playing music, so I decided to make the move to Melbourne to be with him. It worked out well, considering my online business was easily transferable, and Grace and Levi lived right next door. Though I had some serious concerns about the thickness of the walls and was planning on raising the issue with Dominic’s Auntie Val when I saw her next.
Turned out, not only was she a retired music teacher but a kickass real estate mogul as well. Val owned properties all over Australia, not just in the beachside suburb of St. Kilda where we now lived. Don’t get me wrong, the beaches here were tame compared to the natural, untamed beauty of Geographe Bay, however, I was still able to start each day with a run along the shoreline, so I kept those unhelpful comments to myself.
Not gonna lie, when Katrina and Grace both arrived on my doorstep this morning, there was some serious tension between the two. I have no idea why, since Katrina has been nothing but welcoming since I first got here. Anyway, Grace suggested a drinking game, whereby if any of us unpacked an object starting with the first letter of our first name, we had to take a shot of whiskey—yuck—and since then everything has been peachy.
Saying goodbye to Mae and Annabelle was hard. There were tears, lots and lots of tears, but she promised to sign up to my online portal, Angel Fitness—Dominic’s suggestion—and now we’re in touch daily. It’s fun too because I get to yell at her in shouty capital letters whenever she slacks off on her training.
It wasn’t nearly as difficult to walk away from my parents. Dad was lecturing at Yale and hasn’t yet replied to my email, while Mom merely nodded when I told her the news. I kinda wished she’d at least pretend to be heartbroken since her only remaining child was leaving for good, but no, she remained as stoic as always.
Thankfully, Doctor Powell also consulted over Skype, so I blubbered my way through that painful experience under her professional guidance. Since then, not only have we been working through my anxiety—which for the most part has improved—but we have also begun focusing on forgiveness. It’s been way more difficult than I expected.
Like Dad, Robin was also absent when I said goodbye, though this time at the hospital. I felt terrible about the hurt I caused, so wrote him a letter wishing him nothing but a passionate, caring woman to fall madly in love with, and left it with his receptionist. I didn’t expect a reply.
While I felt beyond guilty at messing with Robin’s heart, I can’t deny mine is full to the point of bursting. Dominic has proven himself committed to me and our relationship time and time again. I mean, he remained silent when I purchased matching his and her bath towels, he only rolled his eyes after I reorganized his wardrobe according to season, and didn’t even lose the plot when my emergency stash of chocolate took up most of the pantry space. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.
I was immediately brought back from my reverie when Grace pulled out a small, rectangular book from the packing box. It had been lovingly decorated with love hearts, flowers, and rainbow stickers. I froze.
“Now what do we have here?” Grace’s smile was wicked and Katrina’s eyes grew wide. “Is this your diary?”
“Don’t you dare,” I warned.
“I’ve got one just like it.” Katrina paused, her cheeks turning bright pink. “Oops, didn’t mean to say that out loud.”
Grace turned to Katrina, her face alight with mischief. “And does your childhood diary mention a certain Tommy Harris too?”
“I didn’t crush on Tommy, G, and you know it.”
The bitch opened my diary to a random page. “Dear diary,” she read. “Today, Tommy Harris looked at me from across the corridor. I think he likes me.”
I lunged, tackling Grace to the ground. We rolled around a few times, squealing like pigs in mud until I managed to yank the offending book from her grasp.
“What is it with you an
d guitarists, anyway?” she panted.
I lay back on the carpet, exhausted. “What can I say, he was hot.” I grinned. “And even hotter when he played guitar.” We both burst out laughing.
Grace looked over at Katrina who was smiling at us in amusement. “Let me guess, the pages of your diary are covered in love notes about guitarists too?”
Katrina’s face turned an ever-darker shade of red. She shook her head. “Drummers, actually.”
“No shit?”
She shrugged, clearly uncomfortable.
“Right, then.” I stood, pulling Grace up by the hand. “This office isn’t going to unpack itself. Back to it, ladies.”
Grace groaned and I could have sworn I heard a sigh of relief coming from Katrina’s direction. Reaching into the box, I grabbed the first thing I could find.
“Ruler,” Grace shouted, jumping up and down with unabashed glee when she spied what was in my hand. “Take a shot, Riley.”
Groaning, I dropped the cursed object and traipsed after my best friend as she skipped down the hallway toward the kitchen. This wasn’t my first rodeo. In fact, both girls joined forces earlier and somehow had me unpacking my running shoes, running shorts and running tops within the first hour of the game being played. Definitely needed some water and carbs after that experience.
“Angel, I’m home.”
“Dominic.” I sprinted past Grace and launched myself into the arms of the love of my life. His hands grabbed my ass, lifting me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist, burying my hands in his hair. “I missed you.”
“Missed you more,” he growled back.
Our kiss started out innocent enough, with soft lips and the tiniest hint of tongue, however, before long it deepened and we were once again lost in a passion-fueled mauling fest. Dominic spun around and slammed me up against the wall. I groaned, biting down on his lip, daring him to lose control.
“Damn,” he muttered, rubbing his already hard cock against me.
“Gross.”
I pulled back, horrified about forgetting poor Grace and Katrina who probably needed psychological counseling themselves after witnessing Dominic and I getting all hot and heavy. I tried to wiggle my way out of Dominic’s hold but he was having none of it. Instead, he faced my friends, nodding in greeting. “Gracie.” She scowled. “Kat.” A half-hearted wave.
