by AJ Nuest
Jesus. His shoulders fell.
A second or two before he’d laid eyes on her, he’d imagined it impossible to forget how beautiful she was. But with her standing there in a fluffy white robe that hugged her neck and hung well past her knees. The way she nervously nibbled her bottom lip, one bare foot balanced on top of the other. The soft blush in her cheeks, and how the subdued lighting behind her ringed her auburn hair like a halo.
His hand to God, he could’ve sworn she was a full-blown angel. He studied the hesitation in her wide green eyes. An angel balanced on the edge of Heaven, who worried one small step and she’d be careening straight for an epic ass kicking once she hit the ground.
Shit, something major was wrong.
“What is it?” He stepped forward, but she held up her palm, stopping him dead in his tracks.
Oh, no. No fucking way. He needed inside her apartment. Right now.
She turned her head and spoke toward the corner, along the same wall as the door so whatever she looked at was outside his view. “Mocha, cut the feed. Kill everything until I call with the okay to resume taping.”
Dammit. He gritted his teeth. Why hadn’t she done that already? She knew he was headed over to see her, so why wait? Had she seriously thought he might not show up? Be late?
She bobbed her chin as if satisfied whatever she stared at had been turned off and stepped back, sweeping her hand aside. “It’s nice to see you again, Kelly. Come in.”
His brows jacked toward his hairline. What the hell was that? The way she spoke was like they’d been downgraded to strangers. Obscure Facebook friends, at best.
“O-o-okay…” Keeping his attention fixed on her, he entered the condo, gave a cursory glance to the white furnishings arranged throughout the thousand-square-foot living room and deposited her dinner on a glass-topped coffee table.
Yeah, this wasn’t happening. He crossed his arms. He knew her, dammit. For Christ’s sake, they knew each other, and he wasn’t about to buy some phony baloney she’d worked out in her head just for the sake of good manners. He could read her better than that and she damn well knew it.
The only question he couldn’t answer was… “How long you planning to make me suffer until you tell me what’s going on?”
“What do you mean?” A small crease formed between her brows. “You asked to see me so here you are.”
Yeah, right. And that made this whole freezing him out routine what, exactly? The appetizer to their meal?
He tracked her steps as she approached the table and snagged the handles on the bag. “Are you hungry?” She turned away without meeting his gaze. “I thought it might be nice to have dinner together so I went ahead and ordered for two. You’re welcome to join me.”
Wonderful. Then maybe they could have a cozy little chat about the weather. Wouldn’t that be nice?
Kelly shook his head, marking every swing of her hips until she disappeared through an arched doorway on the far side of the room. Women. They were enough to make a sane man dive straight into a bottle of Kentucky bourbon. If a dude got pissed, he went straight to the source, threw a couple punches and boom. Problem solved. Add a female to the mix and suddenly everything got complicated. Especially when that same woman played games for a living.
Great. He dropped his arms and trailed after her. Nothing like starting the night by laying a jammed-up puzzle on his brain.
Bracing his hands on either side of the doorway, he leaned into a kitchen lined with stainless steel appliances on the left, floor to ceiling windows on the right. A long, granite-topped island divided the room, a sink and dishwasher breaking up the multiple cabinets running underneath. Six high-backed chairs circled a formal dining table, centered between the drawn white drapes and a row of white, leather-capped stools standing at the counter.
The last time they’d talked was outside the precinct. Maybe he should start there.
“Would you like a glass of wine?” She lifted the food onto the counter and then swung open the fridge. “I’m having one.”
“Fine.” At the time, he’d assumed she was upset because they were saying goodbye. Hell, he’d been torn up over it too. But going after Adrian alone had been her idea. She’d forced the issue and he’d given her exactly what she wanted even when it had pissed him off to no end.
“Aha. Here we go. This’ll be perfect with steak.” She pulled out a bottle of red, rummaged around in a drawer for a corkscrew and twisted the metal spiral into the neck.
So what was he missing? Since when did giving a woman what she asked for make her pull back? Turn her into a big ol’ fake-a-roo?
The cork popped and she went up on her toes to slip two large, upside-down wineglasses off the overhead rack. “These might be kinda dusty.” She blew into each bowl, and then checked the glasses against the light. “As you can imagine, I don’t have people over very often.”
Four days later, and she was distant, cold. Trying like hell to pretend nothing had happened between them so she could protect herself from whatever threat he’d supposedly brought through the door.
The bottle neck jiggled against the rim of the first glass, and he zeroed in on her hand. Jesus Christ, she was shaking like a leaf. Some of the wine sloshed onto the counter, and she laughed, weak, as if she was trying to catch her breath.
“Oops. Sorry about that. Don’t worry, I’ll get it.” She stepped toward the sink and rinsed out a dishcloth.
Hold on, she was scared? Why? Because they hadn’t seen eye to eye? Because it irked the shit out of him that she put herself in danger?
He jerked upright, his hands slipping down the trim on the doorway. Or maybe, the more obvious reason, every time someone had disagreed with her tactics in the past, they’d left her high and dry.
His jaw snapped shut. That was it. Goddamn it, that had to be it. And what’s worse, the fact she’d stuck him in with the other assholes who’d turned their backs on her added up to a complete pile of bullshit!
Tossing his head back, he roared at the ceiling, fisting his hands in the air. A squeak hiked her shoulders and she spun, fumbled the wet dishrag and it slapped to the tiled floor. But he didn’t care. Thinking of all the ways she’d constantly had her heart broken made him want to take out the wall.
Three strides forward, and he slammed his hands to the counter, trapping her against the sink. “I’m not leaving.”
“God, you don’t need to shout.” She placed her hand on her chest, filling her lungs. “Of course you’re not leaving. We’re just about to have dinner.”
No, no, that’s not what he meant. “Ever, Eden. I’m not some loser who’s gonna bail the second things get tough.”
“Don’t be dumb,” she snapped. But the irritation in her voice made him glad. That fire in her belly confirmed he was on the right track. “I made you angry and you’re totally justified in going about your business without worrying what stunt I might pull next.”
Like he’d ever get it in his head to do something so stupid, even though he knew exactly what this was about. She was being strong Eden. Emotionless Eden. The Eden who never got close because, deep down, she already cared too much.
If he had any doubts, the desperation in her eyes confirmed the whole story. One of pain. Rejection. The memory of a lost friend she’d tried to save only to have her efforts circle around and bite her in the ass.
He stepped back so he could look her straight in the face, arms braced to keep her caged in. “I’m not afraid you’re gonna hurt me, Eden.” Not after learning what she’d done for him at the precinct. “And I’m sure as hell not gonna hurt you.”
“God, don’t you get it?” She shoved his shoulder, but he refused to budge. Neither of them was walking away from this conversation. She’d best rethink that shit right now. “This is your chance to gracefully bow out. Ditch any more complications.” A shiver wracked her body. Her lips compressed in a hard slash. “I’m covered, okay? You don’t need to lose any sleep over my
safety. Whatever duty you think you owe me, the bill’s been paid.”
Yep. A heated breath shot from his nostrils. She thought he was ready to call it quits. Made sense, though, considering, in her world, people didn’t work things out, they got even.
So, why should he be any different? What made him so fucking special?
But he was.
Pushing up to his full height, he cinched one arm around her waist and yanked her to his hips.
He was very different.
She smacked her palms to his pecs and wriggled in his arms but, after four days without her, the only thing that accomplished was a tormenting rub of her curves in all the right places.
And he’d be good and Goddamned before he let her believe anything other than just how special they could be together. “I’m about to tell you something and I need you to hear me with both ears.”
“Save yourself the trouble.” She glanced up at him and then jerked her eyes away. “I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself.”
Maybe so. But that didn’t change the fact that he needed her, or how she stood right where she belonged. In his arms. The two of them touching. Linked. And if he had to remind her of that every day or hour or, hell, every other second moving forward, then that’s what he would do. Because she was worth it.
To him, she was worth the effort.
“Eden.” He forked his fingers in her hair, brought her forehead to his lips and held it there. God, would there ever come a day when the woman stopped making him ache? Not likely. Not with the way she’d cuffed herself to his heart.
“I can be angry and still want you. I can be pissed to holy hell and still wish you were standing right beside me.” Easing her head back, he met her gaze. Her eyes went all misty around the edges, and she grabbed his wrist, hanging on for dear life. “What you need to remember is those moments when I want to shake some sense into your goofy, reckless, stubborn head? They are a million times better than any of the ones I spend without you. Dammit, baby, I wouldn’t trade ʼem for the world.”
Tightening his arm, he held her plastered against him, and then huffed his own weak laugh as she centered her cheek on his chest. “I’m not leaving you, Eden. No way I’m ever letting you go.”
She softened. The tension drained from her body. Her arms wound around his waist, and she squeezed. “You say that now, but—”
“No.” He leaned back from her, cupping her pretty face. “No buts. And no more doubts about us. You can talk to me. Hell, you can scream if you want, I swear I’m not gonna disappear.”
“Okay, who are you?” She frowned, but the way she held his hand to her cheek gave him hope. Maybe he’d finally worked a plea bargain deal on the life behind bars she’d given her heart. “Where did you come from? People don’t say things like that, Kelly. They don’t commit when there’s a good chance they could get hurt.”
“Yes they do, Eden.” Jesus, he wanted to strangle every person who’d taught her different. “They commit, and they argue, and they laugh, and they grow old together through thick and thin.” He pulled her to his lips for a kiss. “Now, dammit, woman, stop thinking you’re gonna scare me away. I’m not going anywhere. Not without you.”
He wasn’t about to become another disappointment in her life. She deserved better. And for her—for Eden—better is what he planned to be.
She huffed, but a hint of smile toyed with her mouth. “All right, but just remember you asked for this. I can’t promise I won’t royally screw up.”
“Well, neither can I. Hell, I’m sure there’ll be days I drive you bat-shit crazy.” He wound one of her coils around his finger and feathered the ends against that sweet spot under her bottom lip. “But I don’t want normal and I don’t want fake. I want you.”
A breath caught in her throat, and she pulled her head back. “You don’t want normal?”
“And be bored stiff? No way.” For God’s sake, why else had he become a cop? “Besides, with the shit I’ve seen, I’m pretty sure there’s no such thing.”
Her husky laugh stiffened every muscle in his body, and he smiled, rocking her in his arms. She slid her hands up his shoulders to behind his neck and he stole the opportunity for a slow, deliberate exploration of her lips. “I heard about what happened with Jaclyn.”
Eden rolled her eyes. “All I had to do was mount the camera and make sure the video feed stayed live. That little girl screwed the pooch without anyone’s help but her own.”
He chuckled. Yep, she was back. His Eden. And, from this point forward, he didn’t care if everyone knew they came as a matched set.
Squinting, he studied the clever glint in her eyes. Huh. Considering everything they’d been through, it really was downright bizarre. Even though they’d been apart physically, they’d remained close—maybe closer than they’d ever been—in the way that counted most. “Well, since fair is fair, you should know I brought something for you too.”
“A present?” She fluttered her lashes. “For me?”
Yeah, yeah, she could lay it on as thick as she wanted. Once she read the information hidden in his pocket, she’d likely have a different story.
He pulled out the folded white envelope and flapped it in the space between them. “It’s not as much as you gave me, but I figured it’s a start.”
“To what?” She plucked the envelope from his hand and tugged out the papers. “Paying me back?” Turning away, she unfolded the pages, and he reluctantly dropped his arms as she paced the counter, running her finger along the top sheet. “You don’t ever need to worry about—”
Her hand dropped to her side.
Kelly waited, a smirk hitching the corner of his mouth. Wow, had he actually rendered her speechless? Hot damn, that had to be a first.
She flipped the page and kept reading, shaking her head. Placed a trembling hand on her forehead and then smacked the pages against the front of her robe. “You found my birth records?”
He smiled at the beautiful shock on her face. Her skin was so perfect and pale it practically appeared porcelain. “Not me, actually. Molly was the one who petitioned the probate court and got them to crack open the file.”
Eden blinked. Stutter-stepped forward. “That’s what you asked her about after the meeting? Are you telling me, you had Molly working on this before I’d even left the precinct?”
“Well, yeah.” He swiped his hand down his face to mask a chuckle. One thing was for sure. Moving forward, he was gonna work like a dog to surprise her as often as possible. With the way her eyes glittered, it was like he’d stoked her internal fire to a full-blown inferno.
And it was heart-stopping. A star-studded punch to the guts.
“Kelly, I…I don’t know what to…” She held up the pages as if he hadn’t seen them. Hadn’t checked to make sure all the i’s were dotted and the t’s crossed. “I have a last name.” The papers crinkled as she crushed them in her fist. A tear spilled and traced down her cheek. “It says so right here. I have a last name.”
He grunted at the weird pang in his chest. His eyes stung, and damned if his vision didn’t blur. “I know you do, baby. It’s nice to meet you, Ms. Hall.”
“My God, I—” She slapped her hand over her mouth, her eyes two huge saucers. One or two seconds passed before she threw the pages aside and ran straight for his arms.
He caught her mid-leap and spun to deflect the impact. She wrapped her arms and legs around him like a clinging vine and he chuckled into her hair.
“I don’t believe in love, Kelly.” Her voice was soggy over his shoulder, laced with tears. “For me, it doesn’t exist.”
He closed his eyes and bit back a curse. It was the second time today that stupid word had shown up on his radar. Love? Was that what had knocked her so off kilter? She worried she’d somehow fall short? She’d automatically fail him because she’d never understood an emotion that was beyond defining?
Well hell, that made two of them. Trying to sum up how
much Eden meant to him with four simple letters was just plain dumb. “Neither do I.”
She jerked back from him, grabbed his collar and crushed her lips to his.
God, he’d missed her. Tipping his head in time with hers, he flicked his tongue and then dove in for more. He’d missed her warm skin and the way her body fit against his. Pivoting toward the counter, he set her ass on the edge so he could get at every inch. He’d missed her smile and the way she challenged each idea that formed in his head.
“Did you hear what I said?” She broke off from him, yanking on the sides of his shirt. Another tear fell, and she yanked him again. “Do you understand?”
She searched his face, ankles crossed in the small of his back. Her heels dug in, and she shimmied close enough her heat penetrated the front of his jeans. “I don’t love you, Kelly. This isn’t love.”
He studied her eyes, splayed fingers bracing her back. Yep, she was right. However he labeled the desperate pull whenever they were in the same room, “love” seemed way too weak. This was bigger. More intense.
A fascination, maybe. An obsession.
A sweet addiction he never planned to quit.
Hell, he didn’t give a flying fuck what they called it. The only thing that mattered was everything he felt—the gut-fisting panic of spending one more day without her, the awareness they belonged together no matter what—stared right back at him through her beautiful green eyes.
He ran his hands along her shoulders, cradled her upper arms and brought her close. Burying his face in her neck, he inhaled along the delicate stretch of skin under her ear.
No, this wasn’t love. Not by a long shot. “I don’t love you too, Eden.”
She drove her hands into his hair. His scalp tingled as she fisted and tugged the strands. Their lips met, his fingers worked the knot of her robe and, as the sides fell open, he snuck his hands inside to seize her hips.
The ribbed texture of an A-shirt met his palms, and he wrenched backward to confirm what his hands had already found. Jesus Christ. He gathered the material until it stretched across her stomach and those two rosy nipples topping her breasts. Okay, was the woman purposely trying to shove him over the edge?
