by Holly Rayner
“Well…I guess—” she stopped herself. A sudden fear of accidentally insulting him filled her with dread. But at the same time, she was worried about the specifics on her new position once they moved past the wedding.
“I was talking with Nylah today, and she mentioned that I was lucky that you allowed me so much freedom in making the decisions for the wedding. It seemed as if most women here don’t get that. That got me thinking…I mean, I just don’t know what I’m expected to do or how to act, once we get married.”
The concerned look on his face relaxed.
“While we do keep some of our traditional customs here, a Rebayan marriage is just like an American marriage, as far as I know. Shared responsibilities and respect, at its essence,” he said. “Tradition here is that the men plan most of the wedding as a surprise for their bride, but since you’re so far from home, and since I wouldn’t have your family members here to help me choose things, it seemed more appropriate for you to make the decisions. Plus, my family knows you’re American and American brides are the wedding-decision-makers there. It’s a melding of our cultures.”
Olivia nodded, and her brows and lips relaxed, as well. The possibilities had weighed on her all day. She assumed that was part of the reason why she was so tired.
“Have you been feeling all right?” Yasin asked. “You’re looking a little drained. Have we been pushing things too fast?” He placed his hand on hers.
“Oh, I’ll be fine. I probably just need a good night’s sleep. I bet I’ll feel a lot better in the morning,” she said, even though she knew it was a lie. There was a better chance that she was getting sick with something.
“Well, I guess I shouldn’t ask you if you want a glass of wine tonight,” he said.
“Yeah, I think I’m just going to go to bed.” Her heart sank just a little bit. She wanted to spend more time with him, but the thought of her warm bed was just overpowering.
“Well, let me help you,” he said.
Together, they each grabbed handfuls of bag handles and headed down the hall to her room. As they passed Olivia’s extra room, she rushed ahead and shut the door before he could see in.
“What’s in there?” he asked. “Did you finally figure out what you wanted to do with it?”
She nodded. “Yeah, but it’s not done yet. I’ll show you once I’m done decorating it.”
He narrowed his eyes at her. “All right,” he said. “Why all the secrecy?”
She beamed. “I like surprises,” she said. “I especially like the idea of surprising other people.”
Yasin laughed. “All right,” he said. “Speaking of decorating rooms, I picked out a room for the nursery,” he said. “I’d love to have your hand in decorating it. I have a feeling that you’re better at the whole wallpaper, paint, color scheme…thing.”
She laughed. “Well, wait until you see this room. If you like it, then I’d love to help you decorate your nursery.”
Olivia walked him to her room and started setting bags down next to her writing desk.
“We can start scheduling appointments for the insemination procedure after the wedding,” he said. “So that way, you won’t have to worry about too many things at once. Your physical came out great. I want to make sure that you stay healthy: mentally and physically. I see how the wedding planning is taking a toll on you.”
“Yeah…”
“I think that every time I’ve come home this week, you’ve either been gone or napping,” he said. “I’ve never met such an avid napper.”
Olivia frowned. “I don’t usually nap so much. It’s just all the running around,” she said.
He held his hands up. “Oh no. I wasn’t complaining,” he said. “Sorry.”
They both laughed awkwardly.
“All right,” he said. “I’ll let you get some rest.” He took a couple of steps toward her and reached out, as if he was going to hug her, but he stopped himself before she could even react. “Oh,” he said as he realized what he was doing.
Yasin placed his hands in his pockets and smiled innocently at her before turning and walking out of her room, shutting the door behind him.
Olivia’s shoulders fell. She wanted to feel his arms around her again. It had been a while since they’d been close that way.
She fell backwards onto her bed, bouncing up and down just slightly, like on the mattress commercials that she used to watch back home, her gaze landing on the ceiling. Her eyelids felt heavy as her body relaxed. They had almost closed when a realization dawned on her, causing her eyes to snap wide open.
“I’m going to be a mother,” she whispered to herself. Despite not having any official appointments for the procedure yet, the insemination suddenly felt closer. “I’m going to be pregnant with a baby and I’m going to have to give birth.”
Even as a whisper, her voice squeaked as the words left her lips. She still felt the fatigue that plagued her body, and yet sleep eluded her for most of the night.
Chapter 13
Yasin
The morning of the wedding arrived faster than Yasin had anticipated. In the weeks leading up to the big day, he wasn’t the least bit nervous. Even as the bills from the vendors and organizers came in, he just paid them and moved on with his day. Up until the morning of the ceremony, his only concern was with setting up the perfect image for publicity photos and interviews. Olivia made that part easy.
But, of course, his other big concern was with Olivia’s happiness. Despite her being tired, she looked like she was having a good time with his sister, which put him at ease.
This is just business, he told himself as he stood in front of the full-length mirror in his hotel dressing room, nervously adjusting his tie. It’s just a transaction. Nothing to get worried about. No reason to be nervous. You’ve done hundreds of business transactions before. Except that…you’ve never had to kiss the client after we signed the contracts.
He reached into his pocket for a mint but came up empty. What? He spun around the empty room by himself. Where did I put them?
The door creaked open. Rashad poked his head in. “Hey, brother,” he said. “How are you holding up?”
“I can’t find my mints,” he said, his hands shaking.
“Okay, calm down.” He walked in and shut the door behind him.
Rashad was dressed in a suit with a bright orange cummerbund to match the dress of the bridesmaid whom he was to walk down the aisle. His normally coiffed hair was slicked back, making him look less boyish than usual.
He reached into his pants pocket and produced a small candy tin of mints. “Take it,” he said, handing it to Yasin. “I have an extra one in the car.”
Yasin took the tin, popped the lid open, and tossed one of the small white candies into his mouth. “Thanks,” he said, his voice still shaky.
Internally, he was relieved to have them—for the kiss during the ceremony and to keep the butterflies in his stomach occupied—but he didn’t sound very relieved. He couldn’t help it. His nerves were getting the best of him.
“I’ve never seen you so nervous before,” Rashad said. He crossed his arms in front of his chest. “And I’m not just talking about these past couple of weeks, either. I mean, ever.”
“I’m getting married, Rashad. I’m going to be married to this wom— I’m going to be married to Olivia for the rest of my life. Of course I’m nervous.” He stared at his reflection in the mirror. “The most I’ve ever had to worry about, when it comes to other people, is how long we get to hold onto clients. Even then, I don’t see them every day.”
“Oh, there you are!”
The brothers turned to the door. Their father stood in the doorway with his arms spread in the most open and inviting gesture that Yasin had ever seen. The smile on his face spread from ear to ear.
“Today is the big day! Are you nervous?”
Yasin shook his head. “No, sir.”
Maalik walked up to him and gave him a hug. “May I impart some words of wisdom on your wedding day?”
he asked.
Yasin knew that it wasn’t really a question.
“Of course,” he said.
Fear crept up in Yasin’s throat. He dreaded the words that were going to come from his father’s mouth. He knew that his father meant well, but he didn’t know how to express himself in a way that was loving…or happy.
“Think of your wife like a client. You have to do things to satisfy your client, and in return, your client will help you, as well. It is a give-take relationship. Marriage is like that, too. It’s not just about that, though. Communication is just as important in a marriage as it is in a work relationship,” Maalik said sagely.
He continued to drone on about things that Yasin felt he already knew, so Yasin took in some deep, calming breaths while he pretended to listen.
This is just a business transaction, he thought. Oh, who am I kidding?
His mind wandered to the events that had transpired in the past few weeks. The interview. The plane trip back home. Movie nights. Family breakfast. Dinner at his favorite restaurant. Their intimate night together. It wasn’t the first time that he had thought about that night. Each time he did, his heart beat just a little bit faster.
It wasn’t just a business transaction. He didn’t want to admit it to himself, but there were feelings that he was trying to suppress. He didn’t know how much longer he could stand it.
“…take these words,” his father was saying, “and recall them often. They’re what will make your marriage strong and happy.”
Yasin nodded. “Of course. Thank you, Father,” he said.
“Well, I will leave you to your thoughts. You only have an hour left as a bachelor. I’ll let you spend it as you wish.” Maalik patted Rashad on the back.
“Congratulations, Brother,” Rashad said, his voice happier and more chipper than it had been only moments before. “Congratulations on your new wife.”
Their father let out a hearty laugh. “They’re not married yet,” he said. “Let’s leave him be.” He turned and walked out the door, drumming a short beat on the doorframe as he walked past it.
Rashad turned to move as well, but stopped short of the door as soon as their father left. He circled back to his brother.
“I don’t know what you’re trying to pull,” he said, his voice just above a whisper.
“What?” Yasin sputtered.
“On your birthday, you confided in me about how you didn’t want to get married. You talked about fearing your future. You didn’t have a woman in your life at all. And now this?” He held his hands up. “What’s really going on, Yasin?”
“Nothing is going on,” he said. “Olivia is my bride. We already talked about this weeks ago. It was all meant to be a surprise.”
“Don’t lie to me—”
“Drop it, Rashad,” he said. “Just drop it.”
Rashad opened his mouth to say something, but he held back. He closed it once again and gritted his teeth. His jaw tightened, as did his stare at his brother.
“Come on,” Yasin said. “We need to gather the wedding party.”
Rashad shook his head. “I’ll gather the others,” he said coolly. “I don’t feel like being around you, anyway.”
His father had announced his last hour of freedom, but Yasin didn’t see it in the same terms. Rather than spending that time reminiscing about his single life, he found himself looking forward to spending even more time with Olivia.
He walked out into the garden behind the hotel to try to clear his head. The sun was high in the sky and it nearly blinded him when he stepped out onto the back porch. What was he thinking? How could he focus on these feelings now?
When he was at work, negotiating with a client, this was the make-it-or-break-it time. This wasn’t the time to dawdle and second guess himself. He couldn’t just break down now. If he were to show anything other than confidence in the contract, while he was with a client, it would have shattered the whole thing and he would have left without the signature.
He took a deep breath and let the fresh air breathe new life into his worried soul. “It’ll work out for the best,” he said to himself. “It always does.”
Chapter 14
Olivia
Olivia wanted to pull her hair out.
“It looks wonderful,” Nylah said as she massaged Olivia’s shoulders. “Really, it does. I mean, it doesn’t look exactly like what we had envisioned, but this is fine, too.”
The hairdresser they had hired had backed out at the last minute, and the replacement didn’t know how to recreate their imagined style. Olivia looked at her face and hair in the mirror. The traditional wedding updo that she had wanted was out the door, and instead, she had been left with a mess of curls.
“You know,” Nylah said. “Most of this will be hidden behind the veil, anyway.” She hugged Olivia’s shoulders. “By the time you come back here to change for the reception, we can take all of those pins out and you can have a half-up-half-down relaxed look while you sit for speeches and eat dinner. It’ll feel better like that.”
“You’re sweet to try and make me feel better,” Olivia said, sighing.
“In the meantime, you should probably get dressed,” Nylah added.
Olivia’s head swiveled to face the colorful dress in the corner of the room. She had tried it on at her final fitting a few days prior, and it had looked more beautiful than she had expected. The fabric itself was stunning, but she had been fearful for the mishmash of colors—she just imagined herself looking like a circus tent.
Even now, as she slipped it on, just an hour before the wedding, she couldn’t help but feel scared that it wouldn’t look right on her. She could feel her nerves making her stomach tie itself in knots.
She hadn’t been able to eat breakfast that morning—the result of nerves, and a fear of feeling or looking bloated. What if breakfast didn’t agree with her and she ended up feeling sick? She had already been feeling under the weather; she couldn’t add stomach pain or upset to the list as well.
“Oh, Olivia,” Nylah said as Olivia stepped out from behind the privacy screen. “You look so beautiful! Your hair is perfect with that dress, too. Come look! Come look!” She waved her over to the full-length mirror that stood on a swivel in the corner of the room.
Olivia walked up to it, her soft shoe flats shuffling against the carpet flooring of the dressing room. The image in the mirror wasn’t what she’d expected. She didn’t look like a circus tent. She didn’t even look like herself.
From the corner of her eye, she spied Nylah as she picked up Olivia’s phone and snapped a picture of her. “For your sister,” she explained. “She’ll love this.” Nylah held the picture up to her. “You look so beautiful!”
Nylah’s words struck one of Olivia’s heartstrings. A tear nearly broke free from her eye.
“Oh, no,” Nylah said, a smile creeping across her face. “No tears now. I know that we used waterproof mascara, but you should try to avoid crying, anyway.” She let out a small chuckle and wrapped her arms around Olivia. “I’m so happy to have you in my family, now,” she said.
She pulled away from Olivia, just far enough so they could see each other eye to eye.
“Just think,” she said. “In less than an hour, I’ll have my very own sister!” She grinned. “I know that this is your big day and that Yasin is the one marrying you, but I want to be greedy for just one minute. I’m totally looking forward to having a sister. I know you already have one,” she said, “but I’ve only had brothers. So I’m looking forward to sharing you.”
Olivia tried to hold back tears. She nodded at Nylah, not realizing that she hadn’t said a word in the last few minutes. Her mind was filled with them, however. Her mind was filled with thoughts and emotions that ran wild.
There was happiness and excitement for the wedding. Nervousness about having to stand in front of so many people. But the biggest feeling was sadness. She was so happy to be getting married that she hadn’t thought about the fact—until Nylah starte
d talking about having a sister—that this was all a sham.
Their marriage might be legal on paper and in real front of the cameras, but she wasn’t really going to be Yasin’s wife. She was just a means to an end. She needed to remember that if she was going to go through with it.
“Come on,” Nylah said. “Let’s get you to that altar.”
Olivia hadn’t realized the enormity of the situation until she walked out of the room with Nylah and their wedding staff and started making her way to the ceremony. There were reporters lined up outside. She could see them through the windows as they passed by the glass. She stopped to stare out of the building at the sea of people in fancy dress. A few of the members of the crowd snapped pictures of the building and of the guests that were arriving.
“It’s a star-studded event,” Nylah said, standing next to her. “I don’t know if you know all of the Rebayan celebrities out there, but the turnout is actually quite amazing.”
“I’m glad that I left all of the invitations up to you,” Olivia said. “You’re a lifesaver.”
Nylah elbowed her. “I didn’t do much.”
Olivia could feel her gaze burring holes into the side of her face. She turned to her future sister-in-law. “What is it?” she asked.
“I know you have a lot on your mind,” she replied. “But you seem much more preoccupied and…different. Are you okay?”
Olivia nodded. “I’m just sad that Jennifer couldn’t make it,” she said.
It was true. It just wasn’t the whole truth.
Chapter 15
Yasin
The sight of Olivia took Yasin’s breath away. Not seconds earlier, he had been waiting at the front of the aisle, thinking about how the wait was taking ages. But now that he had laid his eyes on his bride, he knew that he would do it all over again. Everything: the wait, the trip to America, the contract, the lies…nothing would make him change his mind about marrying Olivia.
