The Single Mom's Second Chance (Sweet Briar Sweethearts Book 7)

by Kathy Douglass

  “You don’t park a boat,” Nathaniel corrected. “Weren’t you listening to the captain? You dock a boat.”

  “Okay. Wait until the boat is docked before you get up.”

  The kids squirmed in their seats, then hopped up the minute the boat stopped moving. Although it was a nice day, there weren’t many other people on the ferry, so Roz, Paul and the kids were on solid ground in a couple of minutes. The ferry was scheduled to leave in three hours, giving them plenty of time to explore but not enough time to get bored.

  The island was beautiful. There was a long sandy beach to their left and grass and trees to their right. Naturally, the kids gravitated to the water and began gathering shells. She followed them, Paul by her side.

  She watched the kids pick up sand dollars, Paul’s words from earlier circling her mind. He’d promised—or had he threatened?—that they would continue their conversation. And just what would he say? More important, what was she going to say? She was still blown away to hear that he’d checked on her at night. He’d been so distant to her, so infernally polite, that she couldn’t believe he’d actually do something like that.

  Maybe she shouldn’t be surprised. Paul had always taken his responsibilities seriously. From schoolwork to sports, he’d given 100 percent. He’d never slacked off at anything. Except their relationship. He’d put that on the back burner while he’d pursued his college education, giving her less and less attention as time went on. Looking back, she realized that she’d needed more from him than he’d had the ability to give. She’d needed the security that came from being loved and having someone she could count on, something it had been unfair to ask of him. He’d only been a kid. He’d needed to focus completely on his classes, but at the time, she’d felt abandoned. Lost.

  Not that it mattered. The past was over. What troubled her now was knowing that Paul had witnessed her weakest moments. He’d had a front row seat to her emotional collapse and knew she’d been faking a strength she didn’t possess. Yet he hadn’t offered her any comfort. Instead, he’d observed her pain and then turned his back and walked away. And after knowing how scared she was, he’d continued to hold her at a distance.

  If she needed further evidence that his concern had limits, she had it. So she couldn’t allow herself to think his feelings toward her had softened just because he smiled at her and held her hand. He was simply doing what was necessary to help Suzanne through a hard patch. Roz needed to remember that.

  “We’ll never convince Suzanne everything between us is fine if you keep avoiding me.”

  Roz looked up and into Paul’s serious eyes. She hadn’t heard him approach and his nearness made her heart pound. Inhaling, she got a whiff of clean male combined with the salty air. Expelling a breath, she took a step back. She intended to protect her heart, but when he was this close, she had a hard time remembering the danger he presented.

  “That’s exactly what I’m talking about. Whenever I come near you, you back away.” He stepped so close that they were practically touching to emphasize his point.

  She backed away again, holding her hands in front of her as if that would freeze him in place. “Coming here was a mistake. In fact, this whole crazy idea is a mistake. Too much has happened for us to suddenly act like you don’t hate me. You might be a good enough actor to pull it off, but I’m not. Maybe you should just go back to Florida and let me muddle along on my own. I’m getting better. Eventually, Suzanne will return to her usual self.”

  He frowned. “You’ve said so many things, I don’t know what to address first. There’s not enough time and this isn’t the place to get into a long discussion, so I’ll sum up my answer in two words—no way.”

  “What?”

  “You heard me.” He looked over her shoulder and his frown turned into a smile.

  She turned around and noticed they’d drawn the kids’ attention. But while Nathaniel and Megan merely looked curious, Suzanne appeared nervous. She was sucking her thumb and her eyes were wide with worry. Her little body was as stiff as a board.

  Paul leaned in closer and whispered furiously in her ear. “You still want to argue, or do you want to stick to the plan we agreed on? It’s up to you.” He held out his hand as if daring her to take it.

  “Fine. You win.” She grabbed his hand and squeezed it as hard as she could. She knew with her lack of strength she couldn’t hurt him. Even at full strength, she’d only cause him mild discomfort. Still, he could at least pretend. But the frustrating man just laughed.

  Roz refused to look at him and, instead, focused on her youngest daughter. Suzanne’s body had lost some of its stiffness, and although she had pulled her thumb from her mouth, she wasn’t quite smiling. Roz blew out a breath and then smiled at her little girl. “Uncle Paul told me that you’ve found a couple of sand dollars.”

  Suzanne nodded and opened her hand. “See?”

  “Nice.”

  Nathaniel trotted over. “When are we going to see the horses?”

  Roz glanced over at Paul, who shrugged. “I guess now, if you’re finished here.”

  Megan scrambled to her feet and grabbed Roz’s hand. “I’m ready.”

  “We don’t have to ride them, do we?” Suzanne asked in a tiny voice.

  “No,” Roz replied. “These are wild horses. Nobody gets to ride them.”

  “That’s too bad,” Megan said. “I had fun that time I rode a horse on Mr. Jones’s ranch. He rode with me.”

  “I rode by myself,” Nathaniel bragged. That day at the Double J Ranch had been the highlight of Nathaniel’s year. He hadn’t stopped talking about it yet.

  “I was scared,” Suzanne admitted. “The horse was too big.”

  Laughing, Paul swooped down, grabbed Suzanne around her waist and settled her on his broad shoulders. “How about a horsy ride on Uncle Paul. I’m not big and scary.”

  Roz looked at him. With his well-defined chest, impressive biceps and sculpted abs, his appearance wasn’t the least bit scary, but her body’s reaction to him frightened her down to her toes. No matter how hard she tried to fight it, she found herself attracted to him. She consoled herself with the fact that most women would find him sexy. As long as she didn’t act on that attraction, she would be okay.

  Suzanne giggled and grabbed his head to hold on. Her laughter steadied the place in Roz’s heart that still trembled with fear for her child.

  “Look at me, Mommy,” Suzanne called as Paul galloped over the land, his long legs eating the ground easily.

  “I see. It looks like fun,” Roz called, following at a more sedate pace.

  “It is. Maybe Uncle Paul will give you a ride, too.”

  Roz’s eyes flew to Paul’s face. His smile was too wicked for a man who was interested in another woman. But then they were putting on a show for Suzanne. No emotions were involved. “I’m too heavy for that. But you go ahead and enjoy the ride.”

  “I don’t know about you being too heavy. You probably don’t weigh much more than Suzanne.”

  Suddenly self-conscious and painfully aware of the amount of weight she’d lost with her illness, Roz looked away. Her normal clothes no longer fit, hanging on her as if she were a little girl playing dress-up in her mother’s clothes. She’d confided in Charlotte how depressed she felt every time she saw her reflection in a mirror. The next day, her friend had shown up with two shopping bags filled with new clothes. They were smaller than Roz’s regular size, but she felt so much better dressed in clothes that fit. Being the good friend that she was, Charlotte had refused payment, telling Roz that every time she wore her new clothes she should remember that someone cared.

  They followed the trail past tide pools and through the marsh until they reached a small hill. Nathaniel and Megan decided to race to the top.

  “Wait. I want to race, too,” Suzanne said, wiggling on Paul’s shoulders. “Put me down, Uncle Paul.”


  Paul stooped down, lifted Suzanne from his shoulders and then set her on the ground. She was off in a flash, her chubby legs pumping as she scrambled to catch up with her older siblings. Standing, Paul approached Roz, his face filled with remorse. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, Roz.”

  She shrugged, trying for nonchalance and failing miserably. She didn’t make the effort to smile. He’d see through it anyway.

  He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “In a perfect world I would have said what I meant. Or at least I’d be able to go back in time and say what I meant.”

  “Not too many perfect worlds around.”

  “I know. So I’ll just explain. I was trying to say that you aren’t too heavy for me to carry. I’ve done it before, remember?”

  Despite the fact that twelve years had passed since they’d been in love, she remembered every minute she’d spent wrapped in his arms. That was the problem. Like indelible ink, the past refused to be erased. It could be covered over for a while, but eventually it would work its way to the surface and become visible again.

  “No. I’m the one who needs to apologize. I’m a little bit self-conscious about my appearance. I look in the mirror and a scarecrow stares back.”

  “You’re being a bit harsh, don’t you think?”

  “Not hardly. All things considered, my looks shouldn’t matter, but they do. I know I wasn’t a beauty queen before, but I wasn’t scrawny either.” Paul started to speak and she raised her hand, cutting him off. “I wonder if part of the reason Suzanne worries about me dying is the fact that I look so terrible.”

  Paul closed the distance between them. Reaching out, he caressed her face. “That’s not true. You’re still a very beautiful woman. A desirable woman. Losing a few pounds and your hair hasn’t changed that.”

  Roz leaned her face into his hand, letting herself bask in the feel of his skin, the warmth in his eyes. She missed human contact. It had been so long since a man other than a medical professional had touched her.

  He placed his other hand on her cheek, cupping her face. The look in his eyes was so intense that her heart skipped a beat. “Don’t worry, Roz. Everything will be fine. I promise.”

  “You can’t know that.” She was whispering, the intimacy of the moment taking her voice away. Was he really caressing her cheeks? And was she really allowing him to do so?

  “I can. And I do.” He leaned his forehead against hers as if putting his positive thoughts into her brain.

  “Okay.” She could believe almost anything when she was this close to him, including that he sincerely cared about her. It wasn’t true, of course, but right now it didn’t matter.

  * * *

  Paul pulled the seat belt over a drowsy Megan and clicked it closed while Roz fastened a sleeping Suzanne into her booster seat. Nathaniel was still awake, but he was much quieter than he’d been this morning. The excursion had exhausted the kids. Once they’d spotted the horses, they’d watched in awe as the powerful, beautiful animals enjoyed the freedom that nature granted them. When the kids grew bored, they’d raced up the hill and rolled down over and over again.

  Paul had been concerned that the day would be too much for Roz. He’d tried to slow her down but didn’t succeed as often as he would have liked. She hadn’t wanted to hinder her kids, who were enjoying themselves. Nathaniel and the girls had wanted to see every sight and Roz had been pulled along. She hadn’t complained once. As usual, she put her kids’ happiness before everything else. But she needed to take care of herself, too. She was the glue that held the little family together. If anything happened to her, it would fall apart.

  He waited until she’d fastened her seat belt before pulling out of the parking lot and heading home. After their time on the island, they’d taken the ferry back to the mainland and had a leisurely meal at a casual restaurant. Then they strolled through the quaint town, doing a bit of window-shopping. Roz spotted a shop that sold cuckoo clocks and they’d gone inside. She’d picked up several of the hand-carved clocks, studying every detail. When the kids grew restless, he’d offered to take them outside, but she’d turned him down. She’d taken one last look around, her eyes lingering on a clock she’d returned to over and over, and then they’d left.

  The part of him that hadn’t learned his lesson about how fickle Roz’s heart could be had been tempted to go back and buy the clock for her. He hadn’t. His brain had held him back. Such an act would be too revealing. He couldn’t let her know that his resistance was crumbling, that he wasn’t faking his concern.

  Despite fighting it, his concern for her had begun growing a while ago. That’s why he’d bought her new clothes. He’d heard her crying many nights. His heart had broken a little more each time and he’d grown frustrated by his inability to make things better.

  Then he’d overheard her despairing over her wardrobe with her friend Charlotte. He might not be able to heal Roz, but he could help her feel better about her appearance. Roz would never have taken a gift from him, but she would accept one from her best friend. So he’d approached Charlotte and convinced her to buy Roz clothes that fit. Money hadn’t been an object. The smile on Roz’s face and her improved confidence was worth any price.

  He glanced over at her. She’d leaned back against the headrest and closed her eyes. Her lips parted as she blew out a soft sigh.

  He took a moment to study her. Yes her face was thinner, but it was still stunning. Her cheekbones were high and her eyes a beautiful shade of brown. But it was her lips that drew him like a magnet drew steel. They were full and made to be kissed. By him.

  Shaking his head, he chased that thought away and switched the radio to a classical station he knew Roz enjoyed. He was just thankful that Roz couldn’t read his mind.

  Chapter Eight

  The ground beneath Roz was moving, shifting back and forth. The motion was steady, like a boat cutting through the waves. She lifted her face, but instead of being spritzed by water, she encountered warmth. Inhaling deeply, she got a whiff of clean male with a hint of the outdoors. Something wasn’t right. She wasn’t on the ferry. The ride had ended hours ago and she and Paul had loaded the kids into the car for the long drive home.

  Maybe she was still in the car. No. The motion wasn’t quite right. This didn’t feel like the smooth ride of Paul’s SUV. No matter. It was comfortable so she wasn’t inclined to figure it out.

  She heard giggling and knew she had to open her eyes. Just then, she felt herself falling, and heart pounding, she reached for something to hold on to. Her eyes sprang open and she looked around. She was in Paul’s arms, holding on to him for dear life. He lowered her onto the sofa while the kids looked on, their eyes not missing a thing.

  “You fell asleep,” Megan said.

  Roz rubbed her eyes and covered a yawn. “I guess I did.”

  “I was scared you might not wake up,” Suzanne whispered, her thumb hovering near her mouth. She leaned against Roz’s leg as if in need of contact.

  “Why?” Roz decided that the best comfort she could give her daughter was to point out how normal it was to fall asleep in the car. Grinning, she gently poked each of her daughters in the stomach. “I’m not the only one who was sleeping. You girls were asleep before I was.”

  “I’m the only one who stayed awake,” Nathaniel said, puffing out his chest.

  “Hey, don’t forget about me. I was awake, too,” Paul added.

  “You had to stay awake, Uncle Paul. You were driving,” Megan pointed out.

  “True. Now, who’s hungry? I could go for some soup and a grilled cheese sandwich.”

  “And potato chips?” Suzanne gave a little smile as she walked toward Paul.

  He lifted her into his arms. “Sure. Why not?”

  “I’ll help,” Roz said, starting to stand.

  “That’s not necessary. It won’t take more than a minute. Besides,
too many cooks will spoil the meal.”

  Roz leaned back, stretching her legs in front of her. “You’ll get no argument from me. I’ll just keep relaxing.”

  She watched as Paul strode into the kitchen, Suzanne still in his arms. The sound of pots rattling was soon followed by the aroma of bread frying. Fifteen minutes later, they all were seated in the living room, television trays in front of them as they ate. One of the kids’ favorite shows blared from the TV.

  “I like eating in here,” Megan said, slurping her tomato soup. A little dribbled onto her chin and she wiped it off with the back of her hand. “We should do this every day.”

  “Yeah,” Nathaniel agreed. “That way we can watch TV.”

  “Every once in a while is okay,” Roz said, “but I would miss talking about our days. I wouldn’t know about your apples and onions. Then I wouldn’t be able to find out what made you happy and what made you sad.”

  “I didn’t have any onions today,” Megan answered, and the other kids quickly agreed that nothing had made them unhappy.

  “That’s wonderful. What about apples?”

  “The horses are my apple,” Megan said. “I liked watching them run around. Especially when they were in the water.”

  “That was great. But I liked riding the boat best,” Nathaniel added. “That’s my apple.”

  “What was your apple?” Paul asked Suzanne.

  “I liked when you were carrying Mommy.”

  “That was my favorite part, too,” Paul said, then looked over at Roz.

  Suddenly the center of attention, Roz felt her cheeks grow warm. She tried to look away from Paul’s probing eyes but couldn’t. It was as if he was trying to read her mind to discover her hidden secrets. Or worse, maybe he wanted to peer into her heart and search out her private feelings. She couldn’t let him know that after all this time, after all these years, she was falling for him again. That would make things between them even more uncomfortable. Not to mention the beating her pride would take when he told her he didn’t return her feelings, as he no doubt would. Some days pride was the only thing she had.