Washed Out

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Washed Out Page 5

by Safa Shaqsy

Max: Just ignore him

  Me: Easy to say, but hard to follow

  Max: We’ll be here for you

  Max: You’re not alone

  Me: I wish you girls were here

  Max: Me too, baby

  Jane: Me three :)

  Max: We might come this weekend to see you

  Max: Too bad I need to get my cash together

  Jane: True that

  Me: Aww, you girls are the best

  Max: Let me know how your day went later

  Jane: Yes, do tell us :)

  Me: I will

  Celia sent a kiss sticker

  I closed the chats and got ready for the first day of the week. I had to find a cab to drive me to the campus, which would be embarrassing after I told all my colleagues that Kent was picking me up with his great car. I didn’t have anyone to drive me to and from the campus, and it was so shameful to see the stares I’d get when taking a cab. Most of the girls there already were in awesome relationships with their boyfriends, but then I became one of the uncool single students who felt unwanted in life. Kind of reminded me of Ned, with his silly shirts, and awkward attitude.

  I picked my most casual outfit for that day, a pair of jeans, a purple shirt. I made my hair in a lazy bun, I mean who cared about a girl who uses a cab? I was embracing the laughs I’d hear at the campus, and might wear dark sunglasses to cover my eyes, so maybe they wouldn’t know it was me.

  My phone beeped a few times. I pulled my phone from my jeans’ pockets, and saw the texts from Ned.

  Ned: Our meeting today

  Ned: Can’t wait to meet up

  Ned: Hello?

  Ned: Are you able to meet today?

  Ned: Celia?

  Me: Hi

  Ned: Hey!

  Me: I don’t know

  Ned: You don’t know what?

  Me: That if I could meet you today

  Ned: But this is important

  Ned: We only have one week left

  Me: I know

  Me: I’m sorry

  Me: Can’t you take charge until things get better?

  Ned: You’re dropping the project for now?

  Ned: A hot girl uses a nerd’s talent scenario :)

  Me: No, I’m not

  Me: It’s just I’m under a lot of pressure

  Me: I can’t deal with projects right now

  Ned: Next, you’ll tell me that you gonna pay me

  Me: Can I?

  Ned: This is my fault

  Ned: I kinda expected this to happen

  Ned: I mean you’re a hot girl

  Ned: A hot girl wouldn’t team up with a guy like me

  Me: That’s not what I meant!

  Me: Ned?

  Me: Hello?

  I closed the chat room and tucked my phone in my pocket. I went downstairs, and got ready to call a cab. My day couldn’t get any worse.

  IN THE ART CLASS, WHILE Mrs. Jensen asked us about the progress of our projects, and many hands were raised in the air. I guessed a lot of students were already working on theirs. Ned and I were behind on our schedule. He had the right to get mad about my pulling myself from the project and I felt bad about it. Ned was one row away from me, and he was scribbling something on a paper. He had not turned his head towards me, but I bet he knew I was there. I wished I could apologize, but I had no reason to. I had my own struggles at home and in my love life.

  Then each student discussed with Mrs. Jensen their progress with their projects, and finally Ned raised his hand.

  “Yes, Ned,” Mrs. Jensen called.

  “Can you postpone the project deadline to next week?” Ned asked.

  “Sorry, Ned, I can’t do that. I already gave you two weeks to work on your projects.” Mrs. Jensen explained, “I want to see your project complete by the start of the next week, on Monday.”

  Ned huffed, and glanced at me. A look of disappointment on his face. A look I wished I never witnessed. I looked at the time on my phone. The class was over, and Mrs. Jensen gave her final words for the day, “Let your creativity flourish into art.”

  The students got on their feet and walked through the door. I picked up my pencil and notebook from the desk, and got up from the chair. I stopped when I saw Ned standing in front of me.

  “Hey,” He said.

  “Look, I’m sorry if you got me wrong, but I need time to...”

  He titled his head to the side, “I get it,” He interrupted, “I heard about your break up.”

  I slightly shook my head, and licked my lips, “How did you know?”

  He scratched the back of his head, “It’s all over the campus,” He explained.

  “Shit,” I muttered.

  “Anyways, I’m sorry, I misjudged you,” he said, and I really looked into his deep blue eyes for the first time. He looked not so bad, actually, quiet handsome.

  “Never mind what happened yesterday,” I calmly said, and shrugged.

  “So, we’re cool?” He smiled.

  I laughed, “We’re cool.”

  I walked out of the classroom, and bit my lower lip.

  AFTER EVERYONE WENT to sleep at night, I was awake, texting my girls, while laying on my belly with my PJ’s on. My hair was pinned high above my crown, and a hot coco drink in my other hand.

  Max: So who’s Ned again?

  Me: He’s a nerd in my art class

  Max: Ooh ;)

  Jane: Another one, huh?

  Me: He’s just a colleague

  Me: We’ve been working on a project together

  Max: And?

  Jane: :D

  Me: But something happened this morning

  Me: When I told him I pulled myself from the project temporarily, he got pissed

  Me: He thought I was using him

  Max: Did you?

  Me: I don’t think so

  Me: I only wanted more time

  Me: I don’t know

  Jane: You’re still hurt

  Me: Yes, I am

  Me: Since the breakup I can’t see straight

  Me: Everything is fucked up

  Me: I mean I can’t even talk to Dad

  Max: Wait

  Max: You haven’t told him yet?

  Jane: No way!

  Me: I couldn’t tell him

  Me: Mom is sick

  Me: Do you think it’s okay to hurt him more?

  Max: Oh, no

  Jane: :(

  Me: I don’t think so

  Me: I should keep this to myself

  Me: Until I find the right time

  Max: Until when?

  Max: Forever?

  Max: Celia, you know your mom is not going to suddenly get okay

  Me: I know

  Max: I’m sorry

  Max: Shouldn’t have said that

  Jane: Do whatever makes you feel better

  Max: Don’t do drugs though

  Me: Yeah

  Max: Hey, so what about Ned?

  Me: What about him?

  Max: Do you like him?

  Max sent a winky face

  Me: I don’t know

  Me: I don’t think so

  Jane: He seems like a caring person

  Jane: Since he apologized

  Me: I was surprised

  Me: Even though he was vocal about it

  Me: But he forgave me

  Me: He even felt sorry for my breakup

  Max: Why don’t you try and talk to him?

  Me: Are you serious?

  Max: YES

  Jane: Try

  Me: You gotta be kidding me...

  Me: What should we talk about?

  Max: Whatever interests him

  Jane: What does he like to do?

  Me: I saw him wearing a Pokémon shirt once

  Max: Pokémon then

  Max: I’m not laughing at this

  Jane: Pokémon!

  Max: Okay, maybe I am

  Max: LOL

  Me: Girls, please

  Max: Yeah, sorry

  Jan
e: Sorry

  Me: Okay, will talk to him tomorrow

  Max: Great, then update us

  Jane: Yeah!

  Me: You girls are crazy

  Me: Love you

  Max: Love you

  Jane: Luv u

  Chapter Eight

  MONDAY WAS QUIET, AND boring. I had to take care of Mom while I was at home, and do some house chores. The day just started, so after taking a hot shower, I went to my parents’ room to wake my mom. My mom was snoring really loud, and I figured that the heavy medications did that to her. She wasn’t a heavy sleeper. She used to be the first awake and cook us breakfast. But now it was our turn to take care of her. She was tucked in the white blanket, peacefully snoring. Her soft black hair, spread over the white pillow. I carefully brushed her hair with my fingers, and said, “Good morning, Mom,”

  Her eyes were shut, but she moved her lips a bit. Then she batted her eyelashes, and opened her eyes. She turned to look at me, and said, “Celia.”

  “Yes, Mom,” I replied.

  “Where are your kids?” She started hallucinating again. She furrowed her eyebrows, and looked very concerned about me.

  I looked away, “I don’t have any kids,” I stated.

  “Oh,” She said, and closed her eyes again.

  I pretended that it didn’t bother me, and went to the dresser table. I took her pills from the drawer, and filled a glass with water. I approached her with them, “Mom, it’s time for your medications,” I told her.

  She opened her eyes, and got up in a sitting position on the bed, her back facing the bed frame. I gave her the glass of water, and the pills. She swallowed them and sipped some water, then she gave me the empty glass. She looked really tired. Like she loathed the pills, but she had to take them. I didn’t like what the drugs did to her either. She was always tired, or sleepy and couldn’t do anything but sleep and eat. Someone had to take care of her needs around the clock.

  I placed the glass on the table, “Let’s take you to the shower,” I suggested.

  She nodded.

  I took her arm, and escorted her to the bathroom.

  AFTER I TOOK MY MOM for a shower, I took her downstairs to sit in the living room, in front of the TV. While she watched the morning shows, I combed her tangled hair very lightly, and talked to her. “Your hair is pretty. I wish I had your hair,” I said, but she didn’t listen to me.

  She kept talking to herself, and stared at the TV as I combed her hair, “You know, I’m lucky I got your eyes,” I said. “Because you have beautiful eyes.”

  After I combed her hair, I secured her hair with a pin and kissed her cheek, “All done.”

  My phone beeped a few times and I looked at it.

  Jane: CELIA!

  Me: Hey

  Jane: you know that I still have Kent as a FriendChat friend, right?

  Me: Yeah?

  Jane: I saw his new GF on his profile picture!

  Me: Jane!

  Me: I don’t want to know

  Jane: They’re going to your favourite café

  Me: Really?

  Me: How did you know?

  Jane: He posted it all over FriendChat

  Max: WHAT DID I MISS?

  Max: Oh, that jerk again?

  Me: I don’t understand why’s Jane still friends with Kent

  Jane: I’m just spying on him

  Jane: Thought you would like it

  Me: I don’t really...

  Me: I mean

  Me: It’s not fair that you have him as a friend and I don’t!

  Jane: Sorry

  Max: Sorry, I have him as a friend too

  Me: WTF

  Max: Just wanted to know if he’s still a loser

  Me: I can’t believe this

  Me: You guys are not supposed to be friends!

  Max: Chillax, we don’t even talk

  Me: What am I supposed to do with this information?

  Max: Nothing?

  Me: EXACTLY!

  Jane: Follow him?

  Me: No, that’s desperate

  Me: I gotta go

  I closed the chats, and sat on the sofa contemplating about Kent’s new girl. I imagined her prettier than me. Maybe even with bigger boobs, or an hourglass shape. I felt a pinch of envy over her, even though I never met her. Did he take her to late picnics like he did with me? Did he treat her better than he treated me? I developed some kind of curiosity, and decided that I had to see for myself. I had to know who the girl was, and maybe take a few pictures for my friends to see. I had to wait until my dad and siblings got home, then I had to make my moves.

  AFTER THE SUNSET, I wore my black outfit from my closet, and took the old camera with me, just in case if I wanted to take a few shots. I opened my bedroom door, and looked around to see if anyone would see me. When the coast was clear, I descended down stairs, and heard Dad calling me, “Celia, where are you going?”

  “Meeting up with friends,” I announced out loud, “gotta go, bye!” and went outside.

  I stopped a cab and when I got inside the cab, I instructed the driver to take me to my favourite café, which was close to my campus. The driver kept looking from the rearview mirror with suspicion, “Robbing a bank tonight?” He asked.

  “Actually, spying on my ex,” I simply replied.

  “Oh, that makes sense,” he said, “My ex used to spy on me too. I knew I was too hot for her to forget me.” Then he laughed out loud and talked in Spanish.

  “Excuse me?” I asked.

  “I was just saying don’t worry, you’re hot, and will get a good boyfriend,” he explained.

  “Thank you,” I said.

  He stopped his car, and before I got out I paid him. He turned and before he took the money he said something in Spanish again.

  “What?”

  “It means good luck.” He winked at me.

  I averted my eyes out of awkwardness, and got out of the cab. I hid behind the bushes that were lined up on the sides of the café. I peeked through them, and tried to find Kent inside. After a few minutes, I heard his voice from afar, and ducked in the bushes, but I moved some leaves out of my way to see through. Kent was touching the girl’s lower back in a gentle way, and escorting her to the café. He opened the door, and let her in.

  When they got inside, he whispered something in her ear, and she giggled. I wished that I could punch her real hard. She had very short, red hair, and a green dress on. She was pretty, and had a lot of freckles on her face. Kent pulled out a chair, and let her sit on it, then he pushed it towards the table edge. He went to the other side, and sat on the chair. They held hands over the table surface, and looked intensely into each other’s eyes. I never saw Kent look at me that way, nor ever saw him look at any girl that way. I felt so much anger inside me that I froze there for a few minutes.

  The waiter came in and gave them the menus and left them alone. Kent brushed the girl’s cheek with his finger, and leaned closer. They both kissed for a few seconds, and the girl smiled at him. They started talking, and laughing together. I took my old camera and took a few shots of they’re date. And a lot of shots of the girl. I immediately thought that I had to show my friends the pictures. I felt so left out, and alone. I never felt so disappointed in anything before. Not even when my soccer team lost when I was in high school. At that moment, I wanted Kent back so bad. I wished he would just break up with her and come to me.

  My eyes welled up with tears. I took my phone and called Max. When she picked up the phone, I was already crying and sniffling.

  “Hey, what happened?” Max asked over the phone.

  “Kent’s out on a date with a pretty girl,” I said, and hiccupped.

  “I’m so sorry, Celia. Kent is a jerk, and he doesn’t deserve your time,” Max comforted me.

  “I think I still love him,” I confessed, “What should I do?”

  “Honey, you’re getting over him. You just need some time to heal,” Max said, “We’re here with you, don’t ever forget that.”r />
  I saw Kent and his girl getting up, and going towards the exit.

  “I gotta go now, talk to you later,” I said to Max.

  “Okay, take care,” She said.

  I hung up the phone, and saw Kent and his girlfriend getting into his fancy car. That car was ours. I still couldn’t believe that Kent would pick some other prettier girl in his car. I took some shots of them in the car, and when they kissed again. That was our move, our kiss. But I couldn’t get that back again. I had to move on. I had to accept that he was gone. Kent drove the car onto the street, and away from the café. I couldn’t see them anymore. I got up and stopped a cab to pick me up and take me home.

  WHEN I GOT BACK HOME, Amelia waited for me at the front door, with her drawing. I tried to act as normal as possible.

  “Do you like my drawing?” She innocently asked.

  I looked closely at the drawing, “You did a wonderful job,” I encouraged her.

  “Yay!” She screamed, and ran to the living room where Adam was doing his homework on the coffee table. Dad was in the kitchen making dinner.

  “Oh, Celia, how was the meeting?” he asked while he fried something.

  I walked closer, “It was great,” I lied, “I’m actually feeling tired, and I need some rest. I’ll be in my bedroom.”

  “You don’t want dinner?” Dad suspected, “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m okay. I’ll eat later,” I said, and walked up the stairs to my bedroom.

  I took my phone and started chatting in our group.

  Me: I took some pictures

  Celia sent attachments

  Me: I was spying on Kent tonight

  Jane: Oh, shit

  Jane: She’s pretty

  Max: Shut up, Jane

  Jane: But you’re prettier of course

  Max: She doesn’t have a butt

  Max: or boobs

  Me: but she’s pretty

  Me: Look at how Kent looked at her

  Me: he never did that with me

  Jane: I’m sorry

  Max: He’s a jerk if he thinks she’s prettier than you

  Max: Even a BIGGER jerk for leaving you

  Me: I guess

  Me: I just don’t understand what went wrong

  Me: We were perfect

  Max: In time some people’s masks fall off

  Max: Honey, he’s fake

  Max: Trust me

  Jane: You’ll get someone better

 

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