by Safa Shaqsy
“Shit, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have opened this subject,” He apologized, and licked his lower lip, like he was looking for a solution.
“It doesn’t matter!” I snapped at him, which made him shut up.
He looked upset, and kept his eyes on the road. He shook his head, and murmured something. We didn’t talked until we reached his house. Ned stopped the car, and we got out of the car. He walked faster than I did, and when he reached the front door, he opened the door with keys and he entered inside. I followed him, not saying a word, and neither did he. He went to his room, and left me in the living room alone. I felt bad for yelling at him, or just being rude to him. He was too good to me, and I always blow things up. He didn’t deserve it. It was my problem, and my problem alone. It was no one’s fault. But that anger inside me could make me emotionally rip anyone’s heart out.
Ned came back with notes, pens and a laptop. He sat on the couch, and I sat beside him. He placed the laptop and things on the table, and started, “We need to work on the script,” he said.
I nodded, “You have it, right?”
“Yeah.” He took the notes and gave them to me to read. I opened the pages, and read a few lines. The project was about a group of four guys and one girl with super powers. The girl’s features sounded like me, and I smiled a bit when I read the rest of the script.
“This looks amazing,” I complemented, “I can’t wait to see the book printed.” And I remembered my share of the responsibility to search for printers for our book. I couldn’t believe that I forgot to do that, and we were behind on our project. We haven’t started yet, and the delay can cost us marks. I was lucky to get a guy like Ned who would understand my situation at home, but not doing my part can push his limits.
“Oh, uh,” I said.
“You forgot your part, didn’t you?” he asked.
“I’m sorry. I’ll get to it as soon as possible,” I promised, “I got distracted this week. I’ll try to get my shit together next time.”
“Yeah, well, it’s alright,” he said, “You have a few more days before I finish up the drawings.”
“You started drawing?”
“Yeah, wanna see?”
“Sure,” I replied.
He took the papers from beneath the laptop somewhere, and handed them to me. I browsed the pages of comics. He did a great job drawing us, but my hair was bigger and darker in the drawings. I don’t remember if my hair was ever that big.
“You’re awesome!” I said, “You drew us well. Except for my hair. You know my hair isn’t that big.”
“Thanks,” he stated, “It’s an Afro by the way.”
“My hair is not an Afro, it’s curly,” I explained, “There’s a difference, you know?”
He laughed, “Alright, alright, I’ll do some redrawing to the comics.”
“You can make the boobs bigger as well,” I suggested, “At least a D cup.”
“That’s irrelevant for a comic character,” he refused, “In my opinion, the character is prettier the way she is.”
I felt flattered by his opinion, “Really?”
“Yeah, you’re gorgeous,” he started, “Why do you want to change yourself?”
“I don’t know. I thought guys like bigger boobs,” I replied.
“Not all,” he explained, “I’m just lucky to know a girl like you.”
I was speechless, and I felt his breath on my lips when he leaned his face closer to me, and kissed me softly. We kissed again, but this time it was real to me, and I believed it.
NED DROPPED ME HOME, and when I got inside, Dad was still working on his projects, and everyone was still in their same positions as when I left. I looked at the clock and realized I was out for an hour and a half. It was still morning. I walked in the living room, and sat beside Dad while he worked on his projects.
“How was it?” he asked.
“It was good, and I want to talk to you about Ned,” I started, and he stopped working, and turned his attention to me.
“Yes, dear. You can talk to me about anything,” he comforted.
“I don’t know how to start, but I have been keeping this as a secret for a while, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this before,” I explained.
“It’s okay, dear, you can talk to me about anything when you feel it’s the right time,” he said.
I nodded, “Okay, about Kent. We broke up a week ago, and now I’m seeing Ned, and he’s a very good guy.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you were hurting, I should have been there for you,” he said.
“I didn’t want you to feel bad for me,” I said, “You had a lot going on.”
“I’m your father, that’s my job to protect you from any harm, and it’s my job to be there for you,” He explained, “You know how much I love you, don’t you?”
“I know, Dad. I know,” I said.
He hugged me, and rubbed my back, “I’ll always be there for you, no matter what happens,” He promised, “All of you, my kids, this is none of your faults.”
“It’s not your fault either,” I told him.
We pulled away, and he said, “We have to be strong. Your mom needs us,”
I nodded, “I know.”
Chapter Fourteen
AFTER I TOOK A SHOWER, I wore my underwear and went to the closet to find something to wear. Maybe something casual for the day, because I wasn’t planning on going out. It was early morning, so I chose the casual jeans, and a white fitting sleeveless top. I wore the outfit, and I heard my phone buzz on the bedside table surface. I took my phone, and looked at the texts my friends sent. I smiled.
Jane: Good morning
Max: Ah, it’s a good day
Jane: It is
Me: Just woke up
Me: You sound funny
Max: Who?
Me: You, Max
Max: LOL
Max: I feel awesome today
Me: It’s about your crush, isn’t it?
Max: Can’t a girl be happy for no reason?
Max: sheesh
Me: Max?
Max: Okay, yeah, it’s about him
Jane: Shut up!
Me: Ha, I knew it
Me: TELL US EVERYTHING
Max: well...
Max: He asked me out
Celia sent a surprised face sticker
Jane sent a couple kissing sticker
Jane: You two will be sitting in a tree
Jane: K I S S I N G!
Me: I’m so happy for you!
Me: When is the date?
Max: Next Friday!
Me: So you have plenty of time to prepare
Jane: YOU MUST BUY NEW OUTFIT
Max: I knoooooow
Max: What should I do?
Max: IDK what to wear
Me: stop it!
Me: There’s no need to be stressing over this
Jane: She’s right
Me: Just be you, okay?
Max: I know
Max: I’m trying, for God’s sake!
Max: But what if he changes his mind?
Me: If he did, then he’d be crazy for doing that
Me: It’s not worth it to change yourself for guy
Jane: Be you
Jane: You can do this
Jane sent a heart sticker
Max: Thank you girls
Max sent a hugging bear sticker
Jane sent a hugging bear sticker
Celia sent a kiss sticker
Jane sent a middle finger sticker
Me: Jane...
Jane: sorry, it was too emotional, and I had to tone it down
Max: Seriously?
Chapter Fifteen
AFTER MY SIBLINGS WENT to school, I went upstairs to my bedroom, and closed the door behind me. Dad was feeding Mom breakfast downstairs. Tuesday was a day off for both of us, and I had no plans for the day, so I dived on my bed on my back, and stared at the ceiling. I took my phone and opened the texts I received.
&n
bsp; Max: Are you busy today?
Me: No, why?
Max: Surprised, surprise!
Max: We just landed in Virginia
Jane: Yes, we’re coming to see you
Me: OMG
Me: Are you serious?
Max: Very serious
Max: More than Jane will ever be
Jane: Hey!
Jane sent a middle finger sticker
Max: LOL
Me: Omg
Me: I can’t believe you’re actually here!
Max: We missed you
Jane: We were planning on going to the movies
Me: That sounds great
Me: There’s a movie called The Bigger Person
Me: It’s a comedic love story
Max: Great, let’s watch it and remember our ex’s shall we?
Jane: Nah.
Me: Nah.
Max: Okay, fine
Max: Be ready in 20 mins
Jane: Can’t wait to see you
Me: Me too!
Me: I’ll get ready now
Me: TTYL
MAX PICKED ME UP WITH her parents’ car, an old car, but we had memories with that one. In high school, Jane and I used to go out with Max as she drove that car, and also when she picked us up too for our first dates. That old car had died many times, but they were able to fix it and it worked for many years. There was a stain on the seat where Jane vomited after she got drunk.
Max turned on the car radio, and we started singing out loud. Jane was in the passenger’s seat and I was in the back seat. Jane popped up one beer can and started drinking, spilling some on her T-shirt.
“Hey, no drinking in my car!” Max shouted, “Give me that!” and snatched the beer can from Jane’s hand.
“Hey!” Jane yelled.
Max laughed and sipped from the can, “I haven’t had beer in a long time.”
“I thought you said no drinking in your car,” Jane snapped, and took the beer back, then turned to the back where I sat, and offered me the beer, “Do you want some?”
“No, thanks. I’d rather be sober,” I said.
Max parked the car, and we got out, and went to the ticket stall. She picked the movie and bought the tickets. We entered the hall where they sold many snacks in different isles, and ordered some popcorn and drinks. We took our snacks and drinks, and entered the movie theater, and sat on our seats. It took a while for the movie to start, and when it did, Jane giggled with excitement. I shushed her.
We ate our popcorn and watched the movie, engrossed in its story. That’s when I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket. I took out my phone and some people kicked the back of my seat and told me to shut the phone screen light. I still managed to check my texts, and I realized that that text was unexpected.
It was Kent’s text.
Kent: Hey, boo
I closed the chatroom, and put my phone back in my pocket. My skin felt like it was on fire, and I started sweating. Jane beside me noticed that my face changed, and she leaned closer to me.
“Is everything okay?” She asked.
I nodded, “Yeah.”
“Okay,” She said, and got back to watching the movie.
I couldn’t believe it.
Was Kent trying to get back to me?
Was he trying to apologize for what he has done to me?
Chapter Sixteen
WEDNESDAY MORNING WAS the day Max and Jane went back to Georgia. It only a few hours flight from Virginia. I’d miss them for the rest of the week. They were a beautiful distraction to my hectic week. Max said it was a good idea to travel to Virginia again next week to see each other, because it was different from the chats we had together. Ned missed called me a few times this morning, but I couldn’t pick it up. He was probably planning for a third date, and to ask me out today. I stared at the texts Kent sent me in the morning on Bubblechat, and I had a strong urge to get back to him. Did that mean that I still had feelings for him? I couldn’t believe I was lenient to him after what he had done to me two weeks ago. But his texts looked like he was an innocent child who never harmed a fly.
Kent: Hey, can we meet up today?
I sighed.
I could have said no to him and let it go. It wasn’t right to allow my past to haunt me. It wasn’t worth it. He was just a player, and he didn’t deserve my time. Our time was over, and I needed to let him go.
But does my heart listen to my mind?
Me: Hey
Me: Um, sure
Kent: Cool, meet me at your favourite coffee shop ;)
Me: Okay, you better have better things to say
Kent: Yes, boo
I should have stopped him calling me that again, but I let him and it made me feel stupid. How much of a blob I had to be to understand that he wasn’t coming back, and he was just playing with my heart again?
I had other chats I didn’t open.
Ned: I tried to call you many times
Ned: I was wondering if we could get together today? :)
Me: Ned, I’m sorry I was a bit busy
Ned: It’s okay
Ned: We’ll make it up this evening when I invite you for dinner
Ned: What do you think?
Me: I don’t know
Me: I’m kind of busy with Mom and other things
Me: I need to be here
Me: I’m sorry
Ned: Okay, cool
I closed the chat while I was freaking out, and texted my girls
Me: Girls?
Jane: Here
Max: present!
Me: I think I’m turning into a bitch
Max: WHY would you say that?
Jane sent a surprised face sticker
Me: Kent texted me
Me: He asked me for a meet up
Max: That asshole!
Jane: No shit
Me: I KNOW
Me: I couldn’t believe it either
Me: Do you think he broke up with his girlfriend?
Max: Celia, please, just stop!
Max: You don’t want to go back to him
Max: trust me
Me: I already agreed
Max: FOR FUCKS SAKE
Jane: Now, why did you do that?
Me: I think I still care about him
Me: I don’t know why it’s so hard to forget him
Me: I thought I would...
Max: It’s okay, honey, I understand
Max: Can’t you cancel it now?
Jane: You still love him?
Me: I guess I do
Me: I don’t know if I can
Me: And I’m curious to see what he has in mind
Me: Maybe he’s willing to apologize
Max: Even if he did, then what?
Max: You’ll live happily ever after again?
Max: Celia, open your eyes!
Max: I’m sorry to say this
Max: But he’s no good for you
Max: You need to move on!
Me: This stings
Me: Maybe you don’t know how it feels
Me: And you have no right to tell me what to do!
Jane: Um, girls, calm down!
Max: We’re your bffs, remember?
Max: We care about you
Me: Yes, you do, but you never understand me!
Max: hahaha, bullshit!
Max: I’m sick of tired of your misery that sometimes makes you forget we also have lives!
Me: I’m sorry?
Me: It wasn’t my attention to be a DRAMA QUEEN
Max: FUCK YOU!
Me: Fuck you too!
Max left the group
Jane: Oh no!
Jane: Call her now!
Me: I’m tired of this shit
Celia left the group
I WENT TO THE CAFE to meet up with Kent, and while I sat on the chair, by the window looking at the sky, I remembered my fight with Max, and felt like punching the window. I tried to keep it off my mind, but I couldn’t. It stung my heart at the highest level. I never saw M
ax that angry before, and I knew I hurt her deeply with my words.
I heard the doorbell of the coffee shop, and when I turned around, I saw Kent walking toward my table. He sat across from me and smiled.
“Boo,” he called, “I’ve missed you.”
I noticed he cut his dark hair, and changed his perfume scent, and I knew it was probably for his new girlfriend.
“So, what were you up to?” I asked to cover up what I was feeling towards him, “How’s your girlfriend?”
I expected him to say that they broke up, otherwise, why would he have returned to me.
“She’s great!” He said, “I feel great. I’ve never felt like this before.”
My stomach sank, I never expected him to say that to me. Why would he think the new girl is more special than I was to him?
“I...well, that’s great for you!” I stuttered.
“What about you? No boyfriend yet?” He asked.
“Umm, not yet, but I do see someone now,” I replied, and felt guilty about saying that. I’ve been ignoring Ned all morning to meet up with Kent, hoping that we would start something new and passionate, but I got disappointed. And I was so angry, why did he come here to tell me that his new relationship was great? Was he rubbing it on my face?
“I see,” he said, and leaned his chin over the back of his bent hands, “I assume that you’re having a hard time moving on?”
“I’m not, actually Ned is great. He is,” I tried to convince, “He’s a gentleman, and very sweet.”
Kent nodded, “I bet he is. You know? I think about you sometimes, boo.”
“You think about me?” I repeated.
“Yeah, I don’t know why, but our memories are so important to me,” He explained, “I wish I could have them back.”
“Why are you telling me this? Why now?” I snapped.
“Because I regret breaking up with you sometimes, but I do care about my girlfriend.” He said, “Boo, I still like you, you know?”
“This is not happening,” I whispered to myself.
“What, boo?” he asked, and titled his head to the side.
“You can’t think about two girls, it’s cheating,” I said.
“I can if I’m making up my mind,” Kent explained, and took my hand to his, “I still care about you. You’re so important to me, you know that?”
I smiled.
