Harper’s gaze lingered on the photo of a newborn baby and her heart clenched as she thought of Anaya. Gourmet nibbles were brought out and Harper ate them and sipped her champagne as she tried to keep track of the small talk going on around her, but her mind kept drifting elsewhere.
Finally, Stanley and Elizabeth asked them all into the dining room to take a seat for dinner. Beautifully presented plates of salmon and julienne vegetables were laid in front of each of them, but before they ate, Rodger raised his glass and tapped a spoon against it. The gesture seemed a little ridiculous since there were so few of them in attendance, but Harper knew that the older partners liked a little fanfare.
‘It is with great pleasure that we welcome Samuel and Harper here tonight to celebrate his becoming one of our partners. Samuel, you have proven your dedication to your clients and our company over and over again during your time working for us. We value your knowledge, your expertise and your ambition and we hope our partnership is a long and happy one.’
‘Thank you,’ Samuel said, beaming from ear to ear. He always loved being the centre of attention.
‘To Samuel,’ Rodger and Stanley said together, as if they’d been practicing for the moment all afternoon.
Harper forced a smile and lifted her crystal champagne flute to join the toast. She was proud of him, but after their heated discussion earlier and everything else going on in her life, she had to summon her inner actress to join in tonight’s celebrations.
Nothing seemed to matter anymore except the little baby who felt way too far away right now.
As if she’d spoken these thoughts aloud, Tracey directed a question at Harper. ‘I promised Rodger I wouldn’t ask, but I can’t help myself. We’ve all read the news about the miracle baby. I wouldn’t have believed it had you not told us at the Christmas party that you were in the process of donating your eggs, but I have to ask, is it true?’
‘Oh, yes. How is the dear little thing?’ Elizabeth leant forward, her champagne flute hanging in midair.
Stanley and Rodger looked equally as interested, even though Rodger had apparently forbidden the topic.
Harper felt a little quiver in her stomach and her grip tightened on her own glass. She didn’t look at Samuel but she felt his gaze on her nonetheless and was torn between answering the women’s questions or brushing them off. Which response would piss Samuel off the least? This was his night and he wouldn’t take kindly to her taking the limelight—but nor would he want her to be rude.
In the end, he took care of it for her. ‘Yes, the miracle baby is Harper’s and she’s doing well. She’s still tiny of course, but the doctors are happy with her weight gain and she no longer requires respiratory support.’
Harper’s mouth dropped open as her eyes shot to her husband. She couldn’t have been more surprised if he’d climbed up onto the table and done a striptease. Perhaps he had actually been listening during those few short phone conversations they’d had while she was away.
‘That’s lovely to hear,’ Tracey said, wiping her eye as if she were close to tears. ‘Poor little thing. Motherless at birth. And how is her father going?’
‘Jasper is grieving for Claire, but finding joy in Anaya,’ Harper replied.
‘And,’ Samuel said, his tone hard to read, ‘Anaya won’t be motherless, because she has Harper.’
Rodger blinked. ‘But I thought you were only the egg donor?’
Harper looked to Samuel, unsure what he would say to that, but he shrugged as if the floor was all hers. She took it. ‘I was, but I’ve asked Jasper if I can be more involved. A child needs a mother and I couldn’t live with myself if I could have given her one and didn’t.’
‘That’s very noble of you,’ Stanley said.
She shook her head. ‘Oh, that might have come out wrong. I’m not doing this out of any sort of obligation—I fell in love with my daughter on sight and I want to be her mother more than anything.’
Elizabeth picked up her glass and clicked her fingers for the maid. ‘Looks like we need another toast. That’s such wonderful news. Congratulations.’
The word ‘congratulations’ didn’t seem right when Claire had died, but Harper smiled politely and thanked her.
‘There’s truly no greater joy in life than children,’ Elizabeth said with a glance at the photos that lined one wall.
Tracey chuckled. ‘True, and also no greater pain, but still we wouldn’t be without our three, would we, Rodger?’
While Rodger grinned and nodded in agreement, Harper saw Samuel lift his glass to his mouth—she guessed to stifle a scowl.
Perhaps Stanley saw it too for he said, ‘And what do you make of this, Samuel? Bit of a shock to the system I’d imagine—for someone who adamantly didn’t want children.’
The table fell silent as all eyes looked to him. Harper held her breath, wondering if this was where he’d announce that he was leaving her. But instead he said, ‘I love Harper, so I’ll support her in everything she does.’
Of course he wouldn’t make such a declaration in front of his fellow partners, yet his undertones were clear—at least to her—this was Harper’s decision, not his.
The questions kept coming after that. The women wanted to know all the details, but Harper explained that she had to be careful what she said until they’d done their interview with The Morning Edition.
‘And when’s that?’ Stanley asked.
‘They’ve scheduled it for Monday,’ Harper said.
‘Can we at least see a photo?’ Elizabeth wanted to know, her eyes sparkling at the prospect.
‘Oh, of course.’ Harper went to dig the camera out of her bag and then realised she hadn’t put it back after taking it out to show Samuel. ‘Actually, I don’t have any on me. We aren’t allowed to take photos with our phone and I didn’t bring my camera tonight.’
‘That’s okay,’ Elizabeth said. ‘Next time.’
But it wasn’t okay. Ridiculous tears welled up beneath Harper’s eyelids at the realisation that she couldn’t just take a look at Anaya whenever she pleased.
‘Excuse me,’ she said as she stood, folded her napkin and laid it on the table. ‘I just need to pop to the rest room.’
‘Of course, dear. You remember where it is, don’t you?’
Harper fled, taking her handbag with her. Hopefully by the time she returned the conversation would have moved on to something Samuel was more comfortable with, because if they asked any more questions about Anaya she was likely to burst into tears. The baby had only been a part of her world for a matter of days, but already being away from her felt like losing a vital body part.
She slipped into the bathroom and closed the door behind her, trying to catch her breath and willing the tears back into their ducts. Then she sat down on the closed lid of the toilet and pulled out her mobile phone, suddenly remembering she could access the early photos of Anaya on her email. As she gazed down at the baby—even tinier then than she was now—her breathing slowed again and she smiled at the screen.
A message popped up from Lilia:
Bryn’s given me Monday off to come to Newcastle with you. Shall I drive us both? Pick you up at five? It’ll be like being on breakfast radio again. x
She stared at the message. Samuel wasn’t the only person she needed to tell about her change in situation. Willow had been calling daily to check in but Harper had been too busy with Anaya to call her friends and tell them what was going on. She made a mental note to phone Juliet and Renee as well.
Actually I’m heading back tomorrow morning. Will call you on the way to fill you in on everything. xx
Then she slipped the phone back into her handbag, checked her eyes weren’t too puffy, flushed the toilet for effect and went back to join the party. As she’d hoped, the men were now talking business and the women were discussing Tracey’s daughter’s upcoming wedding.
Dessert—usually her favourite dish of the night—came and went and she barely tasted it, never mind enjoyed it. Everyon
e else appeared to be having a jolly old time and she feared they could go on all night, but Harper wanted to go home and get the drama that was brewing on Samuel’s face over and done with.
Finally Tracey put her out of her misery when she announced she’d turn into a pumpkin if she didn’t go home soon. Taxis were called, arms were slipped back into coats and Harper was genuinely grateful when she thanked Stanley and Elizabeth for their wonderful hospitality.
Samuel assisted her into the waiting taxi and once again, neither of them said a word as their driver navigated the streets back to Paddington. As they walked up the short path to the house, Harper’s heart beat madly again, but she told herself what will be will be—she’d already got the important stuff off her chest. Samuel unlocked the door and held it for her to go through, but he still hadn’t met her gaze and she had no idea what to expect.
When she couldn’t stand the weird silence a moment longer, she said, ‘Well, do you want me to sleep on the couch?’
‘No.’ He loosened his tie, then yanked it off and tossed it onto the hall table. He looked exhausted, older than his thirty-seven years. ‘I want you to come to bed with me.’
‘What? For one last fuck?’
He blinked and then grimaced. ‘Harper, please, there’s no need for that. And what do you mean last? Are you leaving me?’
‘I thought you might be throwing me out.’
‘Why would I do that?’
She sighed. ‘You weren’t exactly pleased by my news earlier.’
‘I was shocked,’ he said forcefully. ‘All the time we’ve been together, I’ve thought we were on the same page about having a family. Then you not only tell me you think you actually want to be a mother, but that you’ve already got a baby. With another man. How do you expect me to feel?’
‘I ...’ She shook her head, unable to find the words.
Samuel took a step towards her and put his hands on her arms. ‘I’m not going to pretend I’m happy about this; it’s going to take some time to get used to the idea, but I meant what I told everyone tonight. You are my wife, I love you and I meant every word of my wedding vows. You might have changed, but I haven’t. You’re still the only woman I want in my life and I want us to work through this.’
Harper sniffed—unable to believe her ears. She’d been certain it was over between them. The tears she’d been holding back all night broke free and rolled down her cheeks.
‘I hope those are happy tears,’ he said, sounding slightly uncertain.
She nodded. Sniffed. ‘They are. I seem to have become a bit of a crier these last few weeks.’
Samuel wiped her cheeks with his thumbs as he gazed down at her. ‘Then I guess we’ll have to buy a few more boxes of tissues.’
Harper went to laugh, but the sound got lost as his mouth claimed hers.
And although she was physically, mentally and emotionally wrung out, her body reacted to the passion in his kiss. Relief and love for him washed over her. She slid her hands round his back and held him close as she met each delicious stroke of his tongue with one of her own.
It wasn’t long before he was tugging at the zipper of her dress. She stepped out of it as it pooled onto the floor and her nipples hardened when his thumbs traced them through the lace of her bra. Harper shivered as Samuel dropped to his knees, peeling her knickers down her legs as he went. She leant back against the hall table and moaned as his mouth found the apex of her thighs. They hadn’t slept together since Claire’s death—since Anaya’s birth—and thus he brought her quickly to release.
She’d barely caught her breath before Samuel stood and spun her around, placing her hands on the table in front of them. As he thrust into her from behind, she held on hard and enjoyed the ride. The sex was rougher than usual—almost like he couldn’t help himself—but she didn’t mind. It was good, better than it had been for a while, and part of her was simply grateful that he still wanted her. That he wanted to make things work.
Afterwards, he took her to bed and held her close.
‘I can’t wait for you to meet Anaya,’ she said as she snuggled against him. ‘I know you’re going to love her. In fact, why don’t you come back with me tomorrow morning? I want to spend as much time as I can with Anaya before I have to come back to work for Tuesday, but we could take two cars?’
‘I’ve got a busy schedule next week and I need to work tomorrow.’
She bit her lip, trying to stifle her disappointment. Baby steps, she told herself. ‘Maybe next weekend then.’
‘Yep. Maybe next weekend.’
Then Samuel kissed her on the forehead and they both fell asleep.
Chapter Thirty-five
As the cameraman and journalist finished setting up in the living room, Jasper retreated to the bedroom for a few moments peace. The apartment was full of strangers. In addition to the television crew, there was Harper’s producer, Lilia, and a local make-up artist who’d seemed very excited to be given this gig. He crossed over to the dresser, grimaced at his reflection, yanked a tissue from the box his mother had bought over the weekend and dabbed it at his face. He’d never worn make-up in his life and he didn’t see why he had to start now, but everyone had said it was something about looking better for the camera.
Quite frankly, he didn’t give a damn what he looked like on screen—he was a grieving man and a new dad, not a TV star. With this thought, his gaze drifted to the framed photo of him and Claire which he’d asked his mum to bring from home. He reached out a finger to touch her face and startled at the feel of cold glass, when he’d stupidly been expecting her warm, soft skin.
‘You were so beautiful,’ he whispered, still not used to speaking about his wife in the past tense. ‘And you’d be so proud of our little girl.’
He only wished Anaya was truly theirs—biologically—so that perhaps she’d grow up to look a little like Claire and share some of her mannerisms. But that wish was as useless as the one he had every time he lay down to try and sleep—the wish that he could hold his love just one last time, smell her, taste her, talk to her and truly have her answer back. Countless times he’d spoken to Claire’s photo, but no matter how much he’d pleaded for her to give him a sign that she could somehow hear him, her photo remained mute.
Instead he had Harper to talk to. Harper to share Anaya with.
Jasper was trying his best to get used to that idea, but he wasn’t sure he ever would. At his suggestion, she’d stayed in the apartment last night, rather than take a hotel room again. After leaving Anaya in the hospital, they’d returned here and shared a takeaway Chinese meal, but the conversation had been awkward. They’d talked about her husband—apparently he might come up the following weekend—and although that suggested Samuel was accepting of Harper’s decision, Jasper was struggling enough with her involvement without complicating things further. After the dinner had been eaten and the mess cleaned up, they’d retreated to their separate rooms until the morning.
As he puffed out a long breath of air, a knock sounded on his door. He straightened and ran his hands through his hair, which had some kind of gel in it. ‘I’m coming.’
He opened the door to see Harper’s producer Lilia standing there. They’d been briefly introduced earlier but hadn’t said much to each other.
‘Sorry to bother you,’ she said, offering him a gentle smile, ‘but they’re ready for you.’
‘Thanks.’ He followed her into the living room, idly wondering what her background was. With long, jet black hair, tanned skin, dark eyes and thick black eyelashes, she had an exotic look about her.
The TV crew were settling Harper into one of two chairs and the curtains were drawn so the room was dim except for the artificial lighting that had been set up to shine on them.
‘Look, I know I’m here for Harper,’ Lilia said, as Jasper waited for Helen Frey, the interviewer, to direct him into his chair, ‘but if you need anything, please don’t be afraid to ask. Harper’s used to this kind of thing but I guess you’re
not, so if there’s some special coffee you like or a snack that will help you relax, then I can go out and get it.’
‘Thanks. That’s kind of you.’
‘No worries.’ She winked at him. ‘I’m here to help.’
‘Where do you come from?’ he asked her, unable to ignore his curiosity.
‘Liverpool,’ she replied, her dark eyes sparkling.
‘I meant … what’s your family background?’ His cheeks heated, hoping he hadn’t offended her with his question.
‘It’s all right. I was just teasing.’ She reached out and squeezed his arm. ‘We’re Assyrians. My grandparents migrated from Baghdad in the sixties.’
‘Right.’ He flinched and shook his arm free because the touch of a woman that wasn’t Claire felt wrong. He looked away from Lilia and waited for the signal from Helen.
When she summoned him to his chair, he joyfully stepped forward.
‘Take a seat, Jasper. Get comfortable.’ Despite her words, Helen put her hands on his shoulders and repositioned him the moment his butt hit the chair. ‘The microphone pack isn’t pressing into you, is it?’
‘No. It’s fine,’ Jasper lied. Earlier the cameraman had fit him and Harper with tiny microphones and at that moment the pack was digging painfully into his back. It would probably leave an imprint, but he didn’t want to say anything that would prolong this agony. The sooner the interview was over, the sooner he could wipe this powder off his face and get back to the hospital.
‘Great. Awesome.’ Helen grinned at him and Harper, but then her face suddenly fell as if she’d remembered the reason they were sitting here. ‘I mean, good that you’re comfortable. Let’s get started.’
She sat in a chair positioned slightly off to the right of them and explained that this would be more like a conversation than an interview. ‘I want you to relax and try and forget the camera. Look at me, not Eddie.’
Jasper guessed Eddie was the camera guy’s name—they’d been introduced earlier but, like the make-up artist’s name, he’d forgotten it almost immediately. While Helen rolled off a few more instructions, the make-up girl rushed over to pat more crap onto their faces and he resisted the urge to swat her hand away. Then Helen gave the signal and the camera started rolling.
The Greatest Gift Page 33
