by Yessi Smith
Undeterred, I continue, “It wasn’t too far of a walk, except my mom’s heels were too big on us and we wound up with huge blisters. But we got there. The look on the bouncer’s face when we walked up to him was priceless.”
“You two looked like prostitutes!” He pinches the side of my stomach and I can feel him shake his head dramatically.
“We looked hot,” I correct him with lightness in my voice and warmth in my heart.
“Ten year old prostitutes.”
“Twelve year old hotties,” I say seriously and Max snorts. Whatever.
“Did you get in?” He kisses my shoulder and I mold my body to his as he flips to the next page.
“No, the bouncer sent us home. People laughed at us!”
“The horror! Having to do the walk of shame at ten.”
“Twelve. When we got home, we didn’t want all of our hard work to be for nothing so we took out my mom’s camera and took pictures of each other. We were still at it when my parents got home. My dad was horrified.”
“Poor man,” Max says sympathetically.
The rest of my body relaxes against Max and I feel a five year old weight begin to lift off my shoulders. This is what Hannah would have wanted, I’m sure of it.
“But my mom thought we looked fantastic and took this picture of the both of us.” I flip back to the picture and stare at it until Max gets my attention by kissing my neck.
“What other horror stories do you have in here?”
I go back to the beginning of the book, and together Max and I create our first united good memory of Hannah. Neither of us feel sorrow or despair as we look through the pictures I’ve posted in the book. There’s only laughter and joy.
That’s the legacy Hannah would want to leave behind.
“Look at you looking all hot and sexy.”
Hayley pinches my ass and then smacks it so I grab her waist and pull her to me so that our bodies are flushed together. She smells amazing and looks even better. I can’t wait for tonight to be over so I can peel the dress off her. With my teeth.
“I’ll show you hot and sexy,” I grunt against her mouth.
Her lips part, welcoming me in, just as Janus comes running into our bedroom and slams into the back of my knees.
“Damn dog,” I grumble, rubbing the back of my knees while Hayley moves away from me to check on Janus.
“He’s still getting his footing when he runs,” she tells me, petting his head while he looks back at her with a satisfied grin.
Bull shit. I go jogging with him every morning and he’s perfectly stable. That was a total cock block move. Apparently, I need to inform him of the man code that forbids this type of behavior.
Although watching Hayley in her tight black dress bend over to comfort Janus is a sight I long to see every day for the rest of my existence.
“Man’s best friend, my ass.”
I walk away from them and wait not so patiently or quietly by the door for Hayley. I love Janus, he’s as much mine as he is Hayley’s, but I’ll be damned if I’m not jealous of all the attention he gets from her while I sit on the sidelines and watch. All he has to do is roll over and within seconds she’s left my side to rub his belly. I roll over and I get a look that tells me just how stupid she thinks I am.
“We’re gonna be late,” I huff out.
Hayley kisses the top of his head one last time before getting back up. “Mommy and Daddy will be back soon.”
Not able to stay mad at him, I go to him and pet his head. “Be a good boy,” I tell him and I’m pretty sure I see him roll his eyes at me before he looks back at Hayley with the same grin as before and wags his tail happily.
We arrive at Dee and Adam’s house just as Dee finishes writing down the number for the police for Josie’s babysitter—you know, the emergency number that begins with nine and ends with a one. Neurotic, much? Adam pulls Dee out the door as Dee blows kisses to a playing Josie and you can visibly see the babysitter exhale a sigh of relief. It’s moments like these that make me realize why Hayley is the only babysitter they’ve been able to keep. And why they don’t have much of a dating or social life.
Hayley and I follow Adam and Dee to a club in Ft. Lauderdale beach while Hayley and Dee text one another. Adam and I will only be at the club for an hour or so before his groomsmen and I pull him away for a real bachelor’s night. It’s his last day as a bachelor and it is our duty to make it memorable.
Waiting outside the club are Adam and Dee’s friends, along with members of Adam’s old band, Wasted Circle. Hell, even Ricky and Amber make an appearance. I look over to Dee to make sure she’s okay with them being there and am not even shocked when she not only smiles at them but embraces them in a welcoming hug.
That’s Dee. She may be neurotic, but she has the most forgiving heart of anyone I’ve ever met. To think only a few years ago Adam was engaged to Amber, who was screwing Ricky on the side. This is the stuff soap operas are made of.
“I can’t stand her,” Hayley whispers in my ear and I know she’s talking about Amber.
“Yeah, well.” I shrug my shoulders and she flips me off so I bite her middle finger while she tries to squirm away from me.
“I’ll cut that pretty face of hers before the night’s over.”
“At least wait until after the wedding,” I suggest and she agrees. It’d be pretty bad manners to cut up one of the bride and groom’s guest before the wedding.
With Hayley on my arm, we follow Adam past the bouncer and head toward a private room in the club. Several glasses of champagne are passed around and after a couple shots of Patron, I am fully consumed by Hayley’s body dancing in front of me with the other girls in our party. I watch her sway her hips side to side while she lifts her arms over her head. Every now and then, she tilts her face upward as if she is soaring freely in the air.
When one of the girls starts dancing behind Hayley with her hands on her waist, a low growl escapes from my throat so I walk to them, not wanting anyone but me to touch her. I subtly move the girl to the side and place my hands on Hayley’s hips while she spins around to put her hands around my neck.
“No need to get jealous,” she teases and I growl again.
“You’re mine,” I say defiantly, and press my lips against hers so that she can’t deny it.
“I am.” She nods. “And not even her nice rack would change that.”
She inches her face closer to mine and licks my lips. I quickly open my mouth and bite her tongue gently making her yelp. Her breath tastes like champagne and again, I lose myself in her, completely captivated by this woman.
My hands move up and down her back as she dances close to my body, her hands around my neck the entire time. My heart beats to the rhythm Hayley sets before me, while my feet and hips try to keep tempo with the music. But it doesn’t matter that I can’t dance. None of it matters. Just the woman in my arms matters.
The journey we’ve taken together has been a sort of dance. We haven’t always known the steps, but have been able to make them up as we go along and make them work for us. We’ve both taken turns leading and following, learning and growing with each step and misstep, only to finally get to the point where we’re dancing in unison. Because that’s what happens when we learn the song in one another’s heart—we unify and become one.
Song after song passes as Hayley and I dance together, forgetting everyone around us. So much so that I am surprised when Adam slaps me on the shoulder, letting me know it’s time for the men to head out. I’m reluctant to leave Hayley, but it’s his big night. I’ll eventually get mine with Hayley and I sure as hell won’t be spending it with a bunch of people, away from her. Not when I want to greet every morning and night with her by my side.
“Take it easy,” I tell her. “If you drink too much, call me or a cab. Just no driving. Got it?” She nods her head seriously and hugs me one last time before we part ways for the night.
Dee isn’t a heavy drinker so I know she’ll watch over Hayl
ey. I know I don’t have to worry, but I do anyway. It’s part of who I am—I overthink and worry. I remind myself that Hayley’s a big girl and her and the other girls have their own private room in the club so there’s no need for them to go out to the club where I can’t protect her. She’ll be fine.
I keep my cell phone close to me as Adam drives us to a skate park he and his best friend, Josh, frequented when they were in high school while the rest of the guys go to another club without their girlfriends or wives. I’m glad we’re not joining them. This feels more important and necessary. I’ve heard plenty of stories about Josh from Dee after he first passed away, but I’ve never heard Adam talk about him. I listen to him now talk about the young boys he and Josh were and how Josh helped Adam become the man he was destined to be. They were brothers, that much is obvious, and it pains me to know Josh won’t be joining him as his best man for his wedding. But he’ll be there, in the hearts of the people he left behind who never stopped loving him.
Just before we get to the park, Adam stops at a gas station for a six-pack of beer and a cigar. Although I’ve had enough to drink, I never turn down a cigar so I buy myself one as well.
The parking lot of the skate park is dark with only a few light posts still working. We approach the chain link fence separating us from the ramps like men on a virtuous mission and climb it with ease. First Adam and then me, so that I can hand him his skateboard and the beer once he’s on the other side. Never having been to a skate park, I follow Adam until he picks up his skateboard and goes up the steps of a ramp, leaving me behind with the beer. Not knowing what else to do, I pop open a bottle with the opener on my key chain and lean back on one of the ramps while Adam skates from one ramp to another. He does some impressive stunts but I don’t say as much since he seems lost in a world I don’t belong to.
Instead, I lean my head back and look up at the stars, rehashing my memory to see if I still remember the placement of the stars I had studied so diligently before I broke up with Hayley, then got back together with her, making my world right again.
I still plan on taking her to Bimini and impressing her with my star naming skills. I just have to bide my time so Janus doesn’t think we’ll be abandoning him a once a month for a few days. And she has to meet my parents. When I take her to Bimini, I want all the tension completely gone. I want it to be a thing in the past that we never recall.
It’ll just be us two, with nothing between us. The way it should be.
After a while, Adam comes back to where he left me and I hand him a beer that is already starting to warm. He pops it open with my opener and settles down in front of me, lifting his beer in silent salute before taking a drink.
“You wanna give it a go?” he asks, looking back at his skateboard sitting next to his feet.
“Nah.” I shake my head. Wouldn’t want to get a concussion the night before their wedding. “You used to come here often?”
He nods his head, not really looking at me as his eyes glaze over with a faraway look in his eyes. “Josh and me would come since we were real young. My mom would drop us off and pick us up hours later. Then, in high school, Dee would tag along. She had me bring her out once so she could learn and surprise Josh.” He laughs and shakes his head at the memory. “She fell on her ass a couple times and Josh nearly beat me for endangering her life.”
Not one for sentimental conversations, I just laugh along with him and relax my forehead so that it’s no longer wrinkled. It’s funny how life seems to derail at the worst possible time, but somehow comes back together, making the future that much better. That’s what happened with Dee and Adam. Their life derailed, leaving them in a wake of destruction neither of them knew how to survive. But they had each other. And they had Josie.
Their life didn’t take them where they thought it would, but I’m positive both of them are happy with where they are.
“When we were in junior high, my mom started taking Josh and me to the dirt track in Clewiston once a month to watch the races. We’d stay at a hotel that was close to a park like this one. Instead of skateboards, we’d take our bikes and tear that place up.” Adam chuckles, lost in his own thoughts. “Josh loved my mom so she always went with us. I’d be embarrassed to have her there, but there was never saying no to Josh. One time, we were just riding around, not really going up any ramps when this dumbass drove his bike into Josh. Just rammed him for no reason. Before Josh even had the chance to get up, my mom was on this big guy, threatening his life and ready to tear him a new asshole. After apologizing to Josh, he walked away from us and my mom immediately started mothering Josh. He ate it up, loved every second of it and let her know what a bad ass he thought she was.” He shakes his head with a small smile on his face and I can’t help but think of my own mom. She was the mothering and protective type. She’d been the one I always ran to for all sorts of injuries. And she always made them better.
“Gonna grab one more set,” Adam tells me.
He tosses his beer in a nearby trash can while he goes up the steps of a ramp he hadn’t tried yet. I stay behind but keep my eyes on him, wanting to see what else he can pull off. Instinctually, he pushes off the side of the ramp and glides down only to rise above the ramp in front of him. He continues this see-saw motion, doing turns in the air with each ascent. After completing a quick one-hand handstand, he maneuvers to glide down but misses the board and falls on his back with a loud thud and slides down unceremoniously.
I don’t bother rushing to him after I hear him laughing from his place on the ground, but walk toward him at a normal pace and only stop when I’m in front of him.
“My only job was to make sure you got home safely.” I grin and he grins back, taking my offered hand to help him up.
“Just don’t tell Dee and we’re all safe.” He brushes his hands over his knees and claps me on the shoulder. “You should try it some time.”
Yeah, because I haven’t had enough altercations in my lifetime that end up with broken bones.
“I’ll pass.”
He shrugs and I shake my head when Adam runs his hands through his hair as he hobbles over to the fence with a satisfied grin on his face.
After a relaxing few hours of getting our nails done, Dee and I head back to my apartment so I can fix her hair. I can’t believe it! The big day is finally here. My best friend is getting married today. If I allow myself to get all teary eyed it would result in puffy, raccoon eyes.
Instead I hug her sporadically and break out in song and dance every chance I get. I mean, how often does a girl get to be a maid of honor for her very best friend and soul sister? And obviously, it’s all about me, the maid of honor, and not the bride. At least that’s what Max keeps telling me.
I smile back at Dee’s reflection from the mirror she is sitting in front of. She looks radiant. Her cheeks have a natural glow to them that either confirm my suspicions that she is in fact pregnant or simply tells the world she’s marrying the man she was destined for.
I don’t know if it’s strange or not that I believe in destiny, but I do. I believe every path we choose or don’t choose leads us toward whatever fate has in store for us. Which is why we have to choose so carefully. Choosing the wrong path could lead us toward a life full of destruction and mayhem.
Dee chose love. She managed to let go of the poison floating through her veins and made a family for herself and her daughter.
I methodically straighten her hair while she drinks from her glass of wine, already knowing how I’ll curl each strand to make a perfectly intricate bun. And I think. I think about Max and every path we have chosen or not chosen. And I think about the decisions that we have yet to make.
I have to forgive his parents, Dee’s right. Of course she is, the bitch, I think and purposefully tug her hair harder than necessary and her eyes look back at me from the mirror questioningly. I have to let go of their involvement in Hannah’s death so that Max can have a relationship with his parents.
I twist Dee’s hair
before pinning it to the bun I’ve started creating and quickly wipe my eyes with the back of my hand as Dee eyes me. I’m happy for her. I’m happy for me. We’re both going to get our fairy tale ending. Just as I pick up another strand, my phone starts vibrating and my lips break into a smile when I see Max’s face pop up on the screen.
“Yep?” I answer.
“I need you,” he whispers into the phone and my grin grows wider.
“Later, Max,” I whisper back and Dee throws her head back in laughter as she mumbles something about horny teenagers.
“No, Hay, you need to come now. I need your help with Adam.”
I feel my face drain of all color while I plaster a smile on my face for Dee’s benefit.
“Be right back,” I tell her, cupping my hand over the phone. “The man is relentless,” I say with a dramatic eye roll, hoping she can’t see my panic.
I leave Dee in my bathroom and close the door as I pace the living room.
“What happened?” I hiss into the phone.
“Adam hurt his back last night. It’s bad. He can hardly walk.”
“Give him something for the pain!” God, men can be so stupid.
“I already did!” he shouts into the phone, his patience obviously wearing thin. “He needs something stronger.”
“And what do you want me to do? Shit out some narcotics?”
Max sighs heavily into the phone so I flip him off with my middle finger. I feel the pulse in my neck throb, wondering what the hell I’m supposed to do to help him. My job is Dee, not Adam. He’s in charge of Adam. It’s a simple task. I take a deep breath, calming myself before I insult him and start an unnecessary argument.
“You still have your anti-anxiety pills, right?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t taken them in a while. I guess, but I thought you said his back hurt?” I question, growing skeptical. I swear on everything holy, if Adam is even thinking about leaving Dee at the altar, I’ll castrate him. “Why does he need something for anxiety?”
