by Tia Lewis
I lay in my bed, Julia splayed out over my chest, her breathing slow and even. I didn't know what time it was, nor how it was that I felt like I was on fucking cloud nine, but I didn't want to do anything but run my fingers up and down Julia's bare back. She hadn't said much after we had finished the first time, nor when I had reached over and taken her again still not satisfied that I had made up for lost time. Now she lay across my chest, exhausted while I lay in the dark, contemplating my fucking life, and what the hell I was going to do now.
Sighing, I raised one arm over my head, keeping the other on Julia's bare back. For someone who had spent the last three years of his life not in the company of anyone, I didn't want to lose touch with the woman who was sleeping soundly against me. Somehow, in some way, she had wormed her way under my skin, and even though there were many questions left to be answered between us, I felt closer to her than I had to anyone else at this moment. In her eyes, I saw the understanding I needed, the realization that I wasn't fucking perfect and she didn't want me to be. We both had our flaws; I just had more than she did. Between her words and the words of Nicole's parents, I was starting to buy into their bullshit about me not being responsible for Nicole's death. It didn't mean it hurt any less.
But somehow, some way, I was going to get over this hump. It had taken me quite a while to figure that out, but I knew it was true. I had to move on.
Julia shifted and muttered something against my chest, her hand clenching into a fist against my shoulder. I laid a hand on her back, rubbing it gently until she eased back into her sleep, wondering what the hell I was going to do with her now. She was in one hell of a mess, but I wasn't going to let her get hurt. I wasn't going to go through that pain again, and after it was all said and done, if Julia wanted to go back to California, I wasn't going to stop her. The one thing I was afraid of was that I would fall back into the deep, dark hole she had just helped me attempt to crawl out of.
Chapter Sixteen
Julia
I awoke alone, stretching my sore muscles deliciously. I had slept with Travis, wounded Travis who had done things to my body that Kevin had never done in the entire time we were together. My feelings were all jumbled up inside, not sure what to think about this newfound issue in my life, and remembering that I hadn't told him about the money demands. I trusted Travis, that was not the question. The question was whether or not I could deal with him after all of this was over with, that I could just walk away and be done with him like I planned to with Kevin.
Pulling back the covers, I pulled on my underwear and threw on a t-shirt that was on the floor, surrounded by Travis's scent. Hell, it was on my skin, his touch branded all over my body. I felt different, still out of control of my life, but different. I walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, stopping as I saw a bare-chested Travis standing at the coffee pot, his tattoos standing out on his back like a swirl of intricate designs, licking up to the base of his neck like flames shooting toward the sky. It was beautiful, and my hands tingled as I thought about how I grabbed those strong shoulders just a few hours ago as he pounded into me. I wanted to go over to him and wrap my arms around his waist, feel his strong muscles against my cheek but I refrained. I didn't know what he was thinking about our night together, and whether he regretted it. I hoped he didn't regret it.
He turned, and our eyes met, those beautiful eyes hardened and holding no warmth. Not that I expected them to. One cheek was blossomed red this morning, the cut angry and looking like it needed some medical attention. "Good morning," I said, forcing the small amount of hurt that had crept up back down into its hole. I didn't need that to cloud my judgment right now. "The coffee smells good."
He frowned, turning away to pull down another mug. I walked over, smoothing down my hair with my hands nervously and wishing I had put on some decent clothes. What had I expected? Him to tackle me for another go round? This wasn't one of those touchy-feely relationships. This wasn't even a relationship. He turned back toward me after pouring a cup of coffee, handing the mug over. I took it gratefully, our fingers barely brushing, but still sending those small goosebumps over my body at the thought of what his hands had done the night before. "Thanks," I said, taking a sip. The liquid slid down my throat, warming my insides against the coldness that was coming from Travis. Was he regretting sleeping with me? "Um, will you be heading to the gym in a little while?"
"Yeah," he finally said, his words rough. "I will."
I set the mug on the counter, unsure of what to say. This was completely awkward. "I, um I'll go get dressed then."
Turning away, I started back to the bedroom, feeling a bit foolish. I was acting like a sixteen-year-old who had just lost her virginity. We had just had a moment of passion, comfort in the arms of another, but the sun was out, and we were back to the people we had to be. When his hand grabbed my arm and spun me around, I gasped, finding myself pressed against his hard chest. The flood of warmth, need thundered through my body and I stared up at his hard face, waiting.
His hand brushed my cheek, his eyes searching mine before he bent down, brushing his lips over mine. "I don't regret it," he mumbled against my lips before letting me go. I couldn't speak, my tongue in knots as he grabbed his coat and walked out of the apartment. He didn't regret it. Well, neither did I.
I entered the bakery, feeling as if I was coming home, the smells of the pastries and the sweet scent of icing filling my nostrils. After the confusion of this morning, I had showered and dressed with purpose, going to the only place I knew I could be safe, and away from Travis while I tried to figure out what exactly was going on.
"Julia!"
I smiled as I watched Hannah approach, allowing her to grab me and wrap me up in a hug. "I'm so glad you have come back to the bakery. Come, let me introduce you to the infamous Lillian."
I released her and followed Hannah behind the counter, seeing a beautiful woman seated at the table, her eyes narrowing when she saw me. "This is her?"
"Lillian, be nice," Hannah said, motioning for me to sit. "Come on; you look hungry. We were just enjoying muffins and coffee."
I sat gratefully, grabbing one of the delicious muffins off the plate as Hannah poured me a cup of coffee, pushing it toward me. "Thanks." I hadn't realized how hungry I was, my mind on other things.
Lillian looked at me, her eyes assessing me. "So, what is your problem?"
I nearly choked on my muffin. "What?"
She gave me a half smile. "Come on. It's written all over your face. Something is eating you."
I looked at Hannah, who gave me a shrug. "What can I say? Lillian can read people."
Sighing, I looked down into my steaming cup of coffee. "I slept with Travis." The moment it was out of my mouth, I wanted to cram the words back in. Why had I told them that?
"Oh, my God," Lillian said, genuine shock in her voice. "You slept with the brooding hottie? I can't believe it. I've been sniffing around him since I found him and he didn't look once my way. How did you do it? How did you get him in your bed?"
"Travis?" Hannah repeated slowly. "Wow, I mean I knew you were staying with him, but I would have never thought you could, I mean nothing against you, but he's definitely not the warm and fuzzy type."
"Neither am I," I forced out, my face flaming red with embarrassment. I didn't even know these women on a personal basis, yet here I was, telling them all of my business. But sleeping with Travis, it had rocked my world.
We were all silent for a few moments before Hannah cleared her throat. "So, Travis aside, for now, I know you are in some kind of trouble. What can I do to help?"
"Trouble?" Lillian asked, her eyes on me again, this time alive with excitement. "God this is better than those horrible soap operas I was forced to watch in the hospital. Do tell."
I shook my head. I didn't want to involve these people in my mess. Someone could get killed besides me, and I would never want that to happen. "No, it's too complicated."
Hannah reached across the table, p
lacing her hand on mine. "Listen, I was in a tough spot a few months ago, and the worst thing I did was try to handle it myself. It nearly got me killed."
"Until Anthony saved your ass," Lillian muttered. "You should see them. They are like two teenagers now. I just about can't stand it."
Hannah stuck out her tongue at her friend. "You're just jealous. Anthony is the best thing that ever happened to me."
I watched as Hannah's cheeks bloomed with color, wondering if I would ever feel that way about another man again. She didn't know how lucky she was.
"Anyway," Lillian said, turning her attention back to me. "Spill it, girlfriend. What's going on?"
I sighed. "Alright fine. I'm in a little bit of trouble. My ex-boyfriend stole all of my money when I moved out here, and now he owes some bad guys a heck of a lot of money or we are both dead."
They both looked at me like I had gone crazy for a moment while I heard nothing but the pounding of my heart in my ears. That was my life, unfortunately, and if you compounded the whole mess with Travis now, I was a hot mess, literally.
"Wow," Lillian breathed, her eyes wide. "I had expected like some debt or something, but dead? Really? Who was your ex anyway?"
"A loser," I admitted with a sigh. "I moved from Cali to be with him, and he stole everything I had."
"That asshole," Hannah muttered with a shake of her head. "You should go to the cops, Julia. This is serious. We are talking about your life here."
"I can't go to the cops," I said softly, wishing I could. I would be dead within an hour if I did, and what was I going to say anyway? I had no proof, and for all I knew, Kevin could be just pulling my leg to get more money out of me. But I doubted it. He already had enough from me, and despite the fact I hated his guts, I did see the fear in his eyes. "I'm going to get the money, and then I will be done with him and this mess."
"And then what?" Hannah asked. "Do you go back to California?"
I nodded, knowing it was the right thing to do. There was nothing holding me here, and I was starting to really detest this whole snow thing, wanting the warmth of the California sun on my skin.
"I think you still need to call the cops," Hannah said, a concerned look on her face. "This is serious."
"I know," I sighed, pushing away the barely eaten muffin. "Can we make something?" I wanted to get my mind off of both my issues and Travis, not necessarily in that order.
"Sure, there are plenty of orders to fill," Hannah said, pushing away from the table. "Come on, let's get started."
Hours later I stripped off my apron and waved goodbye to the two women cleaning up our mess from the day, feeling moderately better than I had when I walked in. It was amazing what baking and creating beautiful food could do for a person. The company had made it even better. I was fully enjoying Hannah and even Lillian's company. They were like two of my girlfriends that didn't judge, but offered a great friendship. I was going to miss them.
With a sigh, I shrugged on my coat and stepped out into the cold wind, wondering if I should go next door and find Travis. After the way we had parted this morning, I wasn't sure what tonight was going to bring. In fact, I was a bit nervous as what tonight was going to bring. Would we go back to the way it was before we slept together, or was it going to be different? Would I end up in his bed tonight?
I turned away from the gym, my thoughts in turmoil. I wasn't going to seek him out, not now. I didn't want to cloud the real reason I was still in his presence, the real reason I was still in this blasted city. I had to find this money for Kevin, and fast so I could get out of this mess. Hannah's warning about going to the police was still in my thoughts, causing me to think more and more about it. Maybe I should tell them. Maybe they could make this nightmare just go away.
I heard the car before I saw it, the men sneaking up on me before I had a chance to do anything. Something slipped over my sight, and I was plunged into darkness.
Chapter Seventeen
Travis
I flexed my sore knuckles, the pain in my hands giving me issues today. Well, that wasn't the only thing that was giving me pains today. My cock was throbbing even now, the clock not moving fast enough for me to bail out of here and go in search of Julia, to attempt to figure out this thing between us. Hell, I didn't want to figure anything out. I wanted Julia, and I was scared shitless at the thought. No woman, I mean no woman, had gotten this close to me since Nicole's death and coupled with her own issues, I knew I was in for a wild ride. That is if I was able to keep her alive.
"Shit," I muttered, throwing down the pencil and pushing away from the desk. I had had enough. Screw it. Julia and I were going to have a talk.
"There you are."
I looked up to see Benji walking through the office door, his friendly smile nowhere to be found. "Got a moment?"
I nodded and leaned back in the chair, trying not to look like I was in a rush. The last thing I needed for these guys to find out that I was sniffing around a woman. They would never let it go. "Shoot."
He sat down on the couch that lined one wall, a couch I had spent many a night on. "So this fight."
I sighed, wiping a hand over my face. "I'll be fine, I swear." I had my shit together now, and I suspected some of that was because of the woman on my mind.
He sighed. "Dammit man, I hope so. I can't have you putting guys in the hospital because you can't hold yourself together. This is an exhibition, not a fight to the death. I hope you know that."
"I know," I ground out. "I can handle it."
Benji looked at me, the concern not leaving his face. "Are you sure?"
I frowned. "Do you want me to leave?" I didn't want to give up the gym, but I would if they thought I was toxic to the future of the place. Where I would go, well that was up for debate. After last night, I wasn't so sure I even knew what I wanted to do in a few minutes, much less tomorrow or the next day.
Benji let out a short laugh. "Nah man, I don't want you to go, but I can't nor can the guys afford for you to do what you did in that cage yesterday. You feel me?"
"I got it," I said, angry at myself for even having to have this kind of talk. I wasn't a loose cannon. They just didn't understand how difficult it had been getting back into that cage, but now, I could handle it. I had done a lot of thinking after having sex with Julia, how I had been running away from my life, afraid that I would forget her. But I was never going to forget Nicole nor the life we shared. She was always going to be in my heart, that place carved out for only her. I wanted to say that she would be proud of me for finally figuring out that I needed to move on, no doubt laughing even now at how long it took me to realize the fact.
"Good," Benji finally said, pushing off the couch. "No hard feelings, man. I just, this place, you guys, you are my family, and I worry the hell about you. I hope you know that."
My throat grew tight. "Yeah, I know."
He nodded and walked out, whistling one of his damn cheery tunes in his wake. I sighed and rubbed a hand over my face, feeling exhausted from my lack of sleep the night before. When had my life gotten so damn complicated? After shutting down the computer, I walked out of the office and down the stairs, my hands in my pockets. I was going to get Julia and then take her out for a bite to eat, keep us as far away from a bed as I could for a while. I wouldn't be able to fucking think if we went back to my place.
"Hey, Trav."
Tony jogged toward me, a grin on his face. "Tony."
"Heard that Julia made it over to the bakery today," he said as I continued to the door. "Hannah was sure glad to see her."
So she went to the bakery. Well, that was going to make my plans a hell of a lot easier. "Yeah, I'm on the way to pick her up."
"She's been a great help to Hannah," he continued as I pushed open the front door, the gust of wind tearing through my clothes. Damn it was cold outside. "She's thinking about offering her a permanent job."
I frowned and faced him. "What?"
"You know to watch the place when she can't be th
ere," he answered, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Damn, it's cold out here."
I wanted to tell him she couldn't do that. Julia wasn't a permanent fixture in my life, nor did I think she was planning on being once she got this shit with her ex out of the way. I wasn't expecting her to want to stay, no matter what was going on between us. "I thought that was what that other girl was for."
Tony laughed. "Lillian? Nah man she did make her partner, but she's heading off to England to study under some hot shot baker in a month or so. Just told Hannah the other day and with the wedding coming up, Hannah is going to need all the help she can get."
"I can't believe you are getting fucking married," I said as he danced around in front of me, attempting to stay warm in the wind.
"Yeah, me neither," he answered with a grin. "But hell man, I can't imagine not making this thing permanent. There just comes a time you know? I've got no thoughts of not doing it."
I didn't answer, knowing what he was talking about. I had the same thoughts about Nicole once upon a time when all was right with the damn world.
"Will you ask Julia about staying?" Tony continued.
I nodded, not wanting to say no at the moment. "Sure, I'll ask."
"Thanks, man," he said, heading back to the gym. "I'll owe you one if you can make this happen."
I turned toward the bakery, wondering what exactly Julia would say given the opportunity. Would she stay? Would we continue our thing we had going on? Pushing open the door to the bakery, I saw Hannah first. "Hey Travis," she said with a smile as she polished the front of the display case with a rag. "What can I do for you?"
I cleared my throat, feeling uncomfortable. "I, um, I'm here for Julia."
