The boy raises his eyes, watches her go. After a few steps she turns and gives him a mischievous smile. «And remember, you owe me big. Big. Sooner or later you’ll have to return it».
On the boy’s face the shadow of a smile, barely there. He nods.
March 2010
PRINCESS
Translation by Talida Mantegna
The princess is lying on her soft bed and looks at the moon. She can not sleep, just think of his Toby.
She is consumed by love. Well, not the kind of love you could imagine, after all, Toby is only twelve years old, just like her. But for her it is love, she considers it so, for her it is really important.
An abyss divides them.
The princess is surrounded by affection and affection, with governors and waitresses who deal with her continually, but it is not enough. Her mother is never there.
Yes, in the beginning she loved her so much, she did not leave her for a moment.
She kissed her on her forehead and always remembered how much she loved her. Then everything is over. She has fallen in love again, and now passes all her days between parties and dances, and evenings at theater or at work, with her new companion.
If she suffers, she does not show it, however, she is too proud. And then there’s Toby.
Toby has just arrived, just a couple of months. Toby lost her mother, whereby she did not know, and he lives with his father, hired at the chauffeur villa.
In theory Toby is not there to work. It’s even summer, and he should be on holiday now that schools are closed. He lives with his father in a small annex, just over a cabin. He is always alone and he is bored. He is no one, only the son of a housekeeper. When someone sees him, They immediately afflict him some task, even if it is not right. Even though he is not paid.
Toby is beautiful, and that’s a fact. Perhaps not everyone would agree, but she sees him so. He’s as agile as a monkey, running like a lightning strike, he can climb the trees.
The princess spent days and days looking at him from the window, dreaming of being at his side.
Then the desire to stay with him has become something physical, a need, as the need to drink and sleep. To reach him, to know him, to play with him. Want him well. Maybe even more, be loved.
She tried to escape from her crystal tower but failed. A host of soldiers stopped her. Oh, sweetly, with so many gentle words. On how it is dangerous for her to go out into the park, how her mother would be disappointed and disliked, how important she is to be responsible and appropriate to her role. She begged, even weeping, but there was nothing to do.
Sometimes she hates being what it is: a princess. They make it weigh as if it were a divine blessing, but it is the most horrible of curses. A prison.
Toby. Day after day has become an obsession. Worse.
The light goes on, from the windows. Run from one to the other to never lose sight of it. She sees him playing alone, and goes crazy. And when he gets some heavy or boring task, and he can not play anymore, she feels inside herself a fierce rage that frightens her.
They always tell her that she is the mistress, that they are there to serve her, nevertheless she feels like a prisoner. Why can’t she have toby? Why not give him to her?
She knows they are united. A broken soul in two. She knows that he would recognize her immediately if he could only see her. She knows, she feels him in the blood, she is certain.
They treat her as a child, especially mom. Little girl spoiled, they call her, and she finds hateful. She does not feel like a little girl anymore.
She knows what she wants, and she wants Toby.
She hates Toby’s father, hates him with all herself. He does not love him, he treats him badly. He often ignores him, but when he realizes he does not have a kind word for him. She is certain that Toby suffers. Because of his father’s loneliness, because everyone takes advantage of him. He plays less and less, and he does not laugh anymore.
She has always loved her, mom, daddy, governors, all the female universe around her, and she felt something natural and pleasant to her. Until she saw Toby, and there something changed, she discovered that true love is suffering.
And the situation is gradually degenerated, until the princess is in front of a crossroads: to go crazy or to act.
She is a princess, and princesses do not do it. They repeated it until nausea.
Type to climb the trees.
Yet she saw Toby do it dozens of times. It does not seem hard at all.
What can happen to her? The tree is right in front of its window, and the room is only on the first floor. The jump to the nearest branch is not excessive. But if she failed? If she fell to the ground? Could she be hurt?
Everyone is asleep. The lights are off. Even in the nearby annex. Toby’s sleeping. His father. All servitude.
The moon is high in the sky, a full moon, electrifying. The princess feels excited, full of strength, as it had not happened for a long time.
The jump stands out.
She lands on the branch, and that folds, letting her lose instantly the balance She runs, without stopping to think, until she reaches the trunk, then, before dropping, she slides down. She loses her grip, knocks against the lower branches, tries to cling to, but she fails. Slides along the trunk, touches the ground heavily and rolls away.
She stays motionless for more than a minute.
Then she gets up dented, all bruised. It was definitely not as easy as she thought, but Toby will have to give her some lessons on how to climb the trees.
She breathes the night air and finds it wonderful. How much time has passed since the last time they allowed her to go out? More and more, it is weighing the conviction of being a prisoner, beyond all the gentleness with which they are pester.
But now things have changed, now she’s out, she’s free.
The dependence is just in front of her, just a few feet away. She approaches with caution without making any noise.
The windows are all open, and the temperature is torrential. Here they do not have that dingy air conditioning, as in the villa.
Spy them. Toby’s father rushed heavily to his head resting on the pillow. Search Toby. She slams her head in his room.
He sleeps quietly, naked, just covered with a sheet. She looks at him. She takes an interminable time only to look at him. Not because she has no courage to do anything else, but because contemplating it is the most beautiful thing in the world.
Would not it be better to stop there? And if it was not true? If he, knowing her, could not love her? If it was completely wrong?
Eventually she abandons any delay and penetrates inside.
She is approaching the bed and again paralyzes. She is right next door, as she has always wanted. She could touch him, wake him up, but She can not. Now she has lost all his courage. He is perfect, and she loves him.
Take off the sheet, carefully. Toby is wearing only a pair of underpants and nothing else. The princess leans on the bed, then runs down to him as gently as possible, trying not to wake him.
The bed is so tight, and Toby lies right in the middle. She can not stop leaning on him. Touching his skin is something unique he never experienced before. The boy smells of green apples and pine needles. She runs straight, her head resting on the pillow right next to him.
Toby grumbles in sleep.
He is waking up, and she can not do anything to stop it. His body is hot, hot; In that mournful night, he must not have noticed, his skin is reacting, he is taking consciousness of her.
The princess is terrified. What will happen now? Everyone tells her she’s beautiful, the nicest girl in the world, but why keep her segregated, then? What if she was a monster? If she does not like him?? If it was all an illusion of her mind?
She feels a tear running over her face. It is the most important moment of her life, it could be the most beautiful. If only he accepted her. If he just did not send her away.
She wore his head to watch him. He’s already blinking his eye
s, but he has not turned to her, his gaze to the ceiling. He is not yet completely awake, his mind recorded something unusual, but he can not understand what it is.
How nice it is! Be tight in his arms, be kissed by him. Can run together, play together. No, he can not be just an illusion, he can not accept it.
Then, suddenly, Tony retracts, and revives the body, leaning on an elbow.
«But what…!».
Moonlight lights them both, and Toby never seemed so perfect.
He sees her, and the princess trembles. Now that you feel a little girl, a stupid little girl.
Then the miracle happens, and Toby smiles. He has a wonderful smile, that inebriate her.
«Hello!».
The princess does not dare to bark.
«Where are you coming from? How did you come in?».
She indicates the window.
Toby chuckles, and lowers him voice.
«And you came for me? Where do you live? In the villa? I’ve never seen you. Well, they never let me in, inside».
The princess can not resist and caress him. He touches his neck, and then down to his chest.
«You should not be here, you know? If they find out they get angry».
Continue to caress him, on his hips, right on his legs.
He laughs.
Then the princess does something incredible, with a courage she does not know she has. She protests and kisses him. Oh, it’s not a big kiss, just a buzz on a cheek, the rest is too scared to do better.
He does something just as incredible, puts it in place. He pulls back, in that bed so tight, to make her feel better.
She does not want to see how she is upset and shrugs. She relaxes completely, but does not resist, looks for physical contact. She sticks to its skin, make it adheres completely. She forces herself to silence, not even a groan.
Now he will send her away, she is certain. Instead, Toby embraces her, feels his arm around her. Then his hand moves slowly, explores her.
«We should not», she murmurs.
His head right next to her, whispers in her ear.
«You are beautiful. The most beautiful in the world».
The princess can not even breathe. This is better than she had dreamed of. Her desires had never go far.
He kisses her right under her ear.
«You will not shoot, do you? Are not you a dream? Will we still see you?».
And finally, finally: «Do you want to play with me?».
She does not resist, turns and embraces him.
They cling to each other, and Toby chuckles, happy. The princess fills him with kisses, she does not even let him breathe. And he does not reject it, anyhow, the narrower hug, the caress of the whole body at every kiss.
Laughs. «Damn! You’re gloomy!».
It’s the perfect moment. The most beautiful of her life. The very fulcrum of existence. Nothing after this will be more important, soft beds and fragrant bathrooms, waiter and manicure, perfumes and jewels. No, she decided, she would never return to that prison.
The nut is drawn.
And then it opens the door.
Dreams end always, and this is reality.
Toby’s and Princess’s dream lasted only a few moments. And in those precious moments they ran happy among the meadows, one beside the other, under a warm sun, driven by a sparkling breeze between pollen vortices and flower petals.
«What the fuck are you doing?», screams Toby’s father.
They are in bed embraced. The sheet is overlaid and can no longer cover them.
«What makes you here? How did she come?».
The voice of that man is hateful, like all of him.
The effect he has on Toby is tremendous. The kid begins to stammer. «I… I…».
«Did you bring it in?».
«No! She was her! She came from the window and I…».
His father sighs. «She, eh? And should I believe it?».
Advance toward them. The princess is paralyzed, she can not move. That man is a giant in front of her. Toby is struggling to get rid of her hug. «It’s not like you think, I do not…».
«Do you want to fire me? Do you know what they do if they find you brought her here? Fuck, they do not even let her get out of the house, not even Queen of England, and you bring her to bed?».
Toby is pale as a dead man, and he’s really terrified. «I do not… I swear…».
«I do not make any of your justifications, asshole!».
Part one slap, a snap, and a red dwarf revives Toby’s pallor.
He cries, like a kid.
«I did not… I did not…».
The princess is upset. Nobody ever shouts at her. Whatever she does, nobody has ever scolded her. If they take it with others, always. If she breaks anything, the waitress is punished. If she tries to run away, it’s up to those who should watch over her. And now Toby. It’s not right! It’s not right!
«Tomorrow you will come back to grandparents! I should not even bring you here! I knew you would made only troubles. I do not know what to do for you, you are useless!»
He now cries desperately. Singing, the tears come down copious, as if it were a fountain. «Daddy, please… Dad…».
He grabs his shoulders and shakes it as if he were a lot of potatoes. «Be quiet! Stop whining! Sissy! I am ashamed of you!»
«Dad… please… do not beat me».
He said it. The drop that overflows the pot, which makes he explode. «You call it beaten?».
He pulls a crack, so loud to slam him against the wall. «Now take she back! And no one will realize she’s gone!».
Another mock, then grabs him by the shoulders and blows his head against the wall. «Beating? If you lose my job I’ll kill you! You understood me? I’ll kill you!».
This shakes her. That word, killing, comes to her conscience. The princess moves, just. The paralysis that struck her is disappearing.
That man is right above her. To get to his son, he had to do it. It’s gigantic, strong and violent. And terrorizes her. He ignores her, as if she did not even exist, as if she were a squirrel. Is this what you she is? Is that how they consider her, even Mummy? A pretty ornate to admire and guard and protect? Has anyone realized that she exists? Anyone besides Toby?
She has nothing to fight, nothing to defend Toby. Then she attacks him with the only things that remain, her nails and her teeth. She goes up and throws herself against the man.
She throws it in his throat, and when he screams she pushes his teeth deeply.
The man shouts. «Help me, Toby! Help me».
But there is no noise, a sign that Toby has remained motionless on the bed.
There is so much rage in the princess, anger against the whole world, because they want to deny her the only thing she wants, the only thing she has ever really wanted in her whole life.
The man starts filling her with fists, hips, and head, and he continues to scream. The princess bites even more, she puts all her strength, though not much. He feels the blood flow, its metallic flavor.
She hates him for what he did to Toby, for what he is doing, and for what he can do in the future. That man incarnates everything that does not work in her existence. She hates him and wants him dead.
It happens. The man falls on his knees and is already banging. The princess does not loosen the grip and feels the bones fracture. The blood buzzes and splints on him. It is a little shaky for the shots received, but its determination has never been so strong.
The man crashes to the ground, but she does not leave him and follows him in the fall, the teeth always planted in his neck.
He contorts for a few moments, then he stays motionless.
After a century or two, the princess feels Toby’s delicate touch on her shoulders.
The guy is kneeling on the floor beside her.
Then she stops biting and retracts. Jaws are stiff, they work. The mouth is still full of blood. She is covered, has it all over the body.
«Did you… you killed h
im?».
She is terrified. Wrong? Did she do the wrong thing? Will he understand, Toby?
«Did you do it for me?».
She turns and meets his eyes. He is pale, the face beat up from the slaps he receives. He has a cut on his lip and drops a drop of blood. There is no fear in his eyes, nor hate.
She does not resist and kisses him, right on the cut.
He laughs. «No, no, you’re messing around!». Then he gets up. «Come with me. We must wash».
She follows him, quietly, in another room, the bathroom.
Toby ticks a towel and sits next to her. Start washing her face with the tip of the towel.
The princess never misses sight, her heart in her throat. Understood? Does he want her the same? It seems impossible to her.
«I think… we have to get out of here before they find out. Do you want to come with me? Of course you have to come, they will understand immediately that you was you». Then those beautiful words, which she would never have thought to hear, «I do not want they to hurt you».
True, it’s not just a dream. It really happens. That two souls are one. A look it’s enough to recognize each other. That nothing can stop it, ever.
Toby is embarrassed as she cleanses her body. The princess does not even notice it, just look at his eyes.
Then she follows him, when he leaves the bathroom and returns to the room.
Toby is not worthy of the father’s corpse. Put a backpack on the bed and start filling it. «We’ll fix it, you’ll see. A place to stay we will find it. I think of you, do not worry».
And she does not. There is no fear. There is no reason now that she has Toby.
«I hated to be here. And I hated him!». Indicates the father’s body. «If we had met before… we’d have fun, you know? I was bored to death. Why did not you show up? Did they forbid it?».
Toby understands how nobody before, no need for words, among them.
«You do not say anything?». He does not wait for the answer and closes his backpack. Then he puts it on his shoulder. «Let’s go».
They join together, side by side, and the princess is proud of him. Even for a moment she turns to look at the luxurious villa that has been her home for twelve years.
They continue together, like one being, down the driveway, toward the park’s gates.
Lizzi Bizzi and the Red Witch Page 38
