When they returned, Lucy carried an armload of mementos. She placed them on the sofa and sat beside them.
“Mom, do you want to see what Karen gave me?”
Kelsey’s pulse jogged as she settled on the sofa beside the gifts. At a glance, she spotted photographs, a lapel pin of some kind and a small jewelry box.
“What’s the pin?” She gazed at the trinket.
“Karen said Daddy won an award for his work with a charity.”
Charity. She’d never known him to do much for anyone but his family. She studied the pin.
“He did charity work for the cancer foundation after his mother died.” Karen answered her unasked question.
Kelsey looked up, trying to keep the shock from her face. “That’s very touching.” And it was. Touched her more than she could imagine.
Karen moved closer. “If there’s anything you’d like, Kelsey, please let me know. I realize you—”
“No, these things for Lucy are lovely. I don’t expect anything.”
She laid her hand on Kelsey’s arm. “He left some money in his will for Lucy. The attorney will take care of that.”
Money. She’d never considered money from Doug. She couldn’t control her frown.
“He wanted to help Lucy with college, but now you may need it for…” She paused, her gaze shifting from Lucy back to Kelsey. “You know for her health issues.”
“College is a good choice. We have health insurance that’s been pretty good.”
“I’m glad. Doug worried about that sometimes.”
Her expression plunged into Kelsey’s heart. Doug worried. She’d learned so much, and she’d closed her mind and feelings off for so long. Today was meant for honesty. “I had no idea, Karen.”
“I know. He kept it to himself most of the time.”
Lucy opened the velvet box and inside lay a lovely diamond ring. Confused, she peered at Karen.
“It was his mother’s. He was saving it for Lucy.”
His mother’s ring. Tears brimmed in Kelsey’s eyes. “The ring is a precious gift. We’ll take good care of it.”
“I know you will.” Karen drew back and stood closer to Lucy.
“Want to see the pictures?” Lucy held the stack of photographs.
“Why don’t you take them in the dining room so you have more room to study them, and I’ll come in a few minutes.” Kelsey hoped Lucy would take her suggestion, giving her time to speak with Karen.
Without a word, Lucy held the photographs close to her chest and headed for the dining room. Knowing the time was now, Kelsey’s heart pummeled against her chest. With Lucy out of earshot, she faced Karen. “I want to say a few things before Lucy returns.”
Karen drew back, concern growing on her face. “If you’re upset with—”
“No, please. You’ve been thoughtful. You and Doug. I want to ask your forgiveness, Karen.”
“My forgiveness?” Her eyes widened, her jaw slack. “I should ask yours.”
“No. You hurt me…you and Doug…but I compounded the hurt by my bitterness. I should have encouraged Doug’s visits with Lucy. When the worst ache faded, I should have let you know. We could have talked, but I clung to the anger and resentment, even when I no longer cared. It wasn’t right and it wasn’t the moral thing to do. I know what the Lord expects, and I ignored it.”
“But—”
“Forgetting will never happen. You know that. You and I will never be good friends again, but I care about you, Karen. I always have, and I pray that you truly believe what I’m saying. Right now, I’m grieving with you, because you lost a husband. And I grieve that I didn’t talk to him when I was here. I didn’t let him know that I forgave him, too.”
Karen dropped her face in her hands, and Kelsey opened her arms and drew her in. “I know you care about Lucy, and if you want to pick her up for a weekend once in a while, just let me know.” Lucy’s latest problem filtered through her mind, and when Karen lifted her head and embraced her, Kelsey told her about Lucy’s latest diagnosis. “I’ll know Monday, and I’ll call you.”
Tears rolled down Karen’s cheeks, and Kelsey held her. She knew soon Lucy would call her to look at the photos, but at the moment, she couldn’t leave Karen. And for the first time, she knew the forgiveness she offered was truly from the heart.
Chapter Fifteen
Ross eyed his watch and stared down the road. Kelsey had called and estimated her arrival time, but he didn’t want to wait at home. Sitting in front of her house seemed easier than pacing and wearing out his carpet.
She’d said little about the funeral since Lucy was with her, but his mind never left her situation. He knew it would be difficult to deal with the funeral, and he prayed that she’d talked with Karen. The guilt would be lifted from her, and that would be a blessing.
He checked his watch again. A half hour had passed, and he suspected that she would arrive any minute. He leaned back a moment, pondering his news but not wanting to say a word until they talked about her trip.
When he lifted his head, his pulse raced. Kelsey’s car was coming down the street, and when she pulled into her driveway, she gave him a questioning look. Alone. A frown pulled at his face.
He stepped from his minivan and hit the lock button on his remote as he approached her car. “How are you? Where’s Lucy?”
“She’s fine, but she’s been so wound up, I called Lexie and let her go over to see Cooper. He’s doing so well now, and I can only hope Lucy’s tests will offer the same good news.”
Although he loved seeing Lucy, having her busy for a while relieved him. Now they could talk without her listening. He wanted to know so many things.
She opened the rear door and pulled out her overnight case. He looked for the other bag. “Where’s Lucy’s bag?”
“She took it into Lexie’s. She had a couple of things and some photographs from Karen that were Doug’s, and she wanted to show Cooper.”
Ross took the bag from Kelsey’s hands. “Were the gifts okay with you?”
She nodded. “I was happy for Lucy. She needed the connection and the closure.”
“I’m glad then.” He slipped his hand into hers, and it felt so natural. “I missed you.”
She chuckled. “You mean that old saying about absence making the heart grow fonder is true?”
“Undoubtedly.” He squeezed her hand as they climbed the few steps to the covered porch. He stood back while she unlocked the door, and she held it open as he carried in her bag. Instead of asking, he headed for the master bedroom and placed it on her bed.
When he returned, he heard Kelsey in the kitchen. “I’m making coffee.”
“Perfect.” He strode into the room and slipped onto a stool at the island. “How’d it go?”
She drew in a breath and told him the details, but left out what he really wanted to know. “And did you have a chance to talk with Karen?”
She lifted tired eyes to his. “I did. I thought it would be difficult but, you know what? It wasn’t. By the time I’d gone through the visitation and the funeral, I ached so badly for her. My feelings for Doug ended so long ago, and though I grieved, it was for Lucy and Karen and for my behavior in not talking with Doug earlier.”
He slipped off the stool and moved to her side. “I’m grateful, for your sake.” He slid his arm around her back and drew her closer.
“So am I. A heavy weight lifted from me. One I’d carried far too long. I finally realized that bitterness and regret bound me to the past, and I want to look to the future.”
His heart sang. “I love hearing you say that.” Love. The word rippled through his chest. He looked into her eyes, and she responded.
Her mouth drew toward his, and he lowered his lips to hers, drinking in the sweet sense of completeness. He missed her every moment they were apart. She filled his mind each day, and he believed it was possible to be in love and still be focused on two other females he adored—his daughter and Lucy.
Kelsey trembled in his
arms, her body yielding against his, the weariness of her trip seeming to melt away. “This feels so right.” She tilted her head back and gazed into his eyes. “I thought of you so much while I was gone.”
Her face flickered with a new thought. “And ached at a funeral with no faith message. It was so sad. Doug attended church, and I’d always trusted that he was a believer, but the service felt empty and hopeless.”
He listened, holding her close and sensing the sorrow she felt. “The Lord knew his heart. That’s your hope for him. Shame can pull us from faith, and hopefully in those last days, he returned to what he’d believed.” Ross longed for a better answer, one with more assurance, but only the Lord knew the truth. He still had good news to share, and this seemed like the right time. “I heard some good news Friday morning.”
She jerked her head upward. “About—?”
“The insurance. The medication is being covered. In fact, I picked up the prescription right after I heard. Dr. Timmons called it in and Peyton’s been on it for two days.” His chest expanded with hope.
Her joyful expression sank. “You should have called me.”
“I knew you had a lot on your mind, and I didn’t want to give you my wonderful news while you were dealing with a difficult situation.” His excuse sounded empty. In truth, he wanted to see the happiness on her face. His motivation was selfish.
“Please, tell me all the good news you can. I want to know…and the bad news, too, Ross. If we’re this close, we need to share our joys and sorrows.”
He nodded as he raised his hand. “Scout’s honor. I promise and I’m sorry.”
She brushed her lips across his again and eased back. “I smell coffee.”
He sniffed the air, smelling the brisk scent, and he grinned.
Kelsey slipped from his arms and headed for the coffeepot, but he prayed that was as far as she would slip away from him. He wanted to hold her forever.
The doctor’s voice faded as Kelsey’s mind spun with his diagnosis. He gazed at her over his glasses, his face serious, and she knew they had to face his conclusion.
“But…” She shook her head, digging into her thoughts for alternatives. “I don’t understand. What about gamma knife surgery?” It was noninvasive and safer, with only a short hospital stay, but Dr. Bryant only looked at her, his eyes intense.
“I just explained that, Mrs. Rhodes.”
She flinched, wondering where her mind had been when he’d told her. She lowered her head. “I’m sorry.” Her hands twisted in her lap, and she couldn’t bear to look at Lucy.
“We’re still not sure until we get inside if it’s an actual tumor or scar tissue, and the gamma knife can lead to more scar tissue. We want this surgery to be the final one for Lucy. If it’s not a tumor, then we’ve won a battle, and the scar tissue can be removed, hopefully for the last time.”
“The last time.” She spoke the words bursting in her head. “If only we could count on that.”
“You’ve been doing well, right, Lucy?”
“I’ve been great. No symptoms even.”
Kelsey finally turned her head to see her daughter’s face. She looked strong and determined to win the battle. “But a craniotomy. Is that our only choice?” That was the word she didn’t want to hear. A craniotomy meant opening her skull and removing a bone flap. It meant Lucy would lose her lovely hair again. It meant…too much. She fought her tears.
“It is because it’s the best way to remove whatever is growing. We can keep our fingers crossed—pray—that Lucy will be on the road to health again. And it’s a small setback if she’s tumor free. If not, we’ve taken care of it before it grows, and that’s good, too.”
“It’s not a tumor.” Lucy’s voice cut through his final word.
Dr. Bryant blinked. “You sound confident, Lucy.”
“I am, because I prayed.” Her jaw had set in determination.
He gave a desperate look at Kelsey. “That’s very good, but do you realize that…”
Kelsey jumped to his assistance. “Lucy knows that sometimes God’s answer is no. She’s still confident.”
He flipped her file closed. “Okay, then.” He drew in a deep breath. “That is how it stands. We’ll need to set a surgery date. I’ll schedule you for some lab tests, and you’ll donate some blood. Don’t take any aspirin or medication that might thin the blood. Okay? You both know the routine.”
Too well. Kelsey rose and stepped toward the doorway while Lucy unfolded her body from the chair and followed. She said goodbye, then draped her arm across Lucy’s shoulders. As she did, Lucy’s blond curls brushed her arm and her heart ached. She swallowed her tears and managed to suppress her emotions.
When they reached the car, Lucy tilted her head upward, searching her mother’s eyes. And as Kelsey grasped the door handle, Lucy patted her hand. “It’s okay, Mom.”
Kelsey’s chest compressed. “I know it will be, sweetie.” The endearment gave her away.
Lucy gave a final pat and rounded the car to the passenger side. “Can we stop at Peyton’s house?”
Kelsey drew back at Lucy’s question. “Why do you want to go there?”
“Because they care about me, and you’ll want to talk with Ross.” Pure innocence shown on her face.
“I planned to call him.” She glanced at her watch. “We can drive by, and if they’re home, we’ll stop.”
Lucy gave a nod and leaned back, listening to the music she’d turned on earlier. The upbeat music resounded in a heavy bass thump-thump, capturing the rhythm of Kelsey’s heart. Lucy’s request had come out of nowhere. The girls’ relationship had yet to stabilize—friendly one day and distant the next, but today could bring a giant leap toward solidifying their friendship.
When the car rolled down Ross’s street, she saw his minivan in the driveway. She needed Ross’s strength right now. Yet the same dread rippled down her spine. Two girls struggling between life and death. Yet neither had bonded with the other. Two parents who had connected but who struggled with their daughters’ health issues and too little time to give to each other. Would the fear ever end? Awash in hopelessness, she pulled in and parked, sending up a prayer for the Lord to take charge. Everything was out of her hands.
Lucy jumped out, hurried toward the front door and rang the bell before Kelsey reached the steps. When the door opened, Ross’s eyes widened in concern. “Lucy, what’s—” Then he spotted her coming up the sidewalk and looked relieved. “This is a nice surprise.” But as he said the words, his expression changed. “You’re coming from the doctor’s appointment, aren’t you?”
Kelsey nodded. “Lucy asked to stop by. I hope it’s okay.”
“Okay?” He slipped his arm around her shoulders. “It’s where you should be.”
His words rushed through her. In his face, she saw that his words had a deeper meaning. Her chest throbbed. “Can we talk?”
Worry spread over his face as he steered her into the great room. “Peyton’s in her bedroom, Lucy.” He motioned toward the doorway.
Lucy rapped on the door and slipped inside as Ross drew Kelsey into his arms. “Bad news?”
She nodded, fearing she would break into a sob. “We’ve been through this before, Ross, but this time I don’t think I can handle it. It’s been too much. Too much emotion with Doug’s death. Too much vacillating about our relationship. I’m bouncing off walls with no way to stop.”
He cradled her head and pressed it to his shoulders. Though he was silent, his action spoke clearly. The tears she’d held back streamed from her eyes onto his knit shirt. His firm hand massaged her back while the other held her tightly. His breathing eased his own tension, giving hers direction to follow. She drew in a ragged breath, and released it into acceptance.
“I’m glad you came.” Ross’s whisper brushed her cheek. “You belong here with me to share the worry and disappointment.” He eased back and longing filled his eyes. “Let’s sit and you can tell me what happened.”
She shifted to
the sofa, his arm still supporting her, and she sank into the cushion. The specialist’s report tumbled from her as she wrestled with her sagging emotions, but Ross’s firm touch, the compassion lighting his face, gave her courage.
“The surgery is bad news, but you still have a lot to pray about. Scar tissue is better than another tumor. At this point, they aren’t sure. So let’s think positive.”
“I’m trying.” His words inched a grin to her lips. “You should have heard Lucy.”
“Did she cry?” He looked confused.
“No, she told the doctor it was nothing, because she’d prayed.”
A whoosh of air escaped his lips. “What a girl. And you know what? She’s right. Children have enough faith to let the Lord move mountains. She knows her body, and she understands her physical symptoms. Lucy could be right.”
The explanation sizzled through Kelsey. She hadn’t thought of that, and the idea renewed her hope. “That’s true. So I need to—”
Peyton’s door flew open, and the girls charged into the room. “Dad, Lucy’s head has to be opened up.”
Kelsey rose, seeing how distraught she was. She hurried to her and pulled Peyton into her arms. “It sounds terrible, Peyton, but Lucy’s been through this before, and she’ll be fine again.”
Peyton’s eyes searched hers, then turned to her dad. “But they shave her head and put a big hole in her skull.”
Kelsey couldn’t talk around that. It was too true. She wished Lucy hadn’t been so graphic. “Her hair grows back, and the hole will be repaired.” It sounded so mechanical. So simplified. She was at a loss for the right words.
Lucy edged closer and wriggled her way into the embrace. “I’ll be fine, Peyton. I promise.”
Peyton drew back and wrapped her arms around Lucy. “I’ll pray for you every day.”
Kelsey shifted toward Ross, witnessing the amazing bonding she and Ross had hoped for. But today it faded in light of the thoughts that had just rushed through her mind. This would be their lives—if not one daughter, then the other. No relationship could survive the constant stress.
A Family of Their Own Page 17
