Smile. Like you know all about the meeting. Only she didn’t. She didn’t know anything at the moment. Weird how she could know nothing, yet feel everything at the same time.
She had a pretty good idea why Danny had left without a goodbye. He blamed himself for her fall. She hadn’t noticed it at first because concern for her and the baby had masked his shame, but having the past few hours to replay the few words he’d spoken and remember the guilt etched around his eyes, she knew two things: he hated himself for not catching her, and he probably blamed his weakening eyesight. A double whammy she would set him straight on if he’d give her the chance.
She should have noticed the power cord. Blame lay on her and no one else. Even with 20/20 vision, someone could make a mistake.
“Liv?” Zane said, recapturing her attention.
“I’m okay. Just thought…” She thought she mattered enough to keep him here. While she loved Zane and Bryce, they were a disappointing substitute for Danny.
“He’ll be back,” Bryce said.
“Right,” she answered, unconvinced.
Bryce raised his eyebrows in that cute, friendly way of his that always got her talking when something bothered her.
She did and she didn’t want to talk this time. These guys were her closest friends. And they were guys. Who knew Danny as well as she did. She smiled inside because only Bryce would actually want to talk things through with her. He had the sexy and sweet thing down. Zane, tall, commanding, and a David Beckham lookalike with a surfboard instead of a soccer ball, shrank in his chair, a big sign he’d rather skip ahead to a hug and good-bye. Not that he wasn’t sweet and sexy, too. He just saved that for Sophie.
“Did he tell you he would be?” Liv pulled the blanket up to her chest.
“He mentioned tomorrow,” Bryce said, his voice soft, even, and resigned, like that would lessen the blow. “He’s got an early meeting in the morning, so he decided not to drive back tonight.”
He’d also decided to use Bryce and Zane as his messengers. Hurt, confusion, and anger competed for her heart.
“That’s good. His not driving at night.” She glanced at the small portable table beside the bed, but her cell wasn’t there.
“Want some water?” Zane stood and moved toward her.
“Yes, thanks. Is my purse somewhere?” Maybe Danny left her a text. Or five.
Zane poured her a cup of water from the plastic pitcher on the rollaway table while Bryce stepped over to the narrow closet near the door. “It’s in here,” he said. “You want it?”
“Yes, please.”
She sipped some water then pulled her cell from her bag. No messages. No missed calls. Her face must have said it all because Bryce sat on one side of the bed, Zane the other, and they both said a crapload without uttering a word.
Sorry.
Give him time.
He’s an idiot. That from Bryce. She gave him a weak smile.
“I love him,” she blurted out.
“We know,” Zane said.
“No. I mean I’m in love with him.”
“It’s about time you figured that out.” Bryce said.
Her jaw dropped. “Seriously?”
“Come on, Linc. You weren’t trying to keep it a secret, were you?”
She glared at Bryce. “Danny doesn’t love me the same way.”
“Sure he does. He’s just too stubborn to admit it.”
Stubborn about a lot of things. Determined, too. She admired that about him. He’d set his mind on a new business and it had taken off. That’s what he really wanted. A successful working life. Not a family. He didn’t love her the way she wanted to be loved. If he did, he’d be the one sitting in the hospital room with her.
Neither she nor Danny had been looking for a mistake, but that’s what had happened. And if they had any hope of salvaging their relationship, she had to move on—and out of his house—so they could go back to the way things were. If she lost her best friend because of this, the splintering in her heart would never heal.
“He’ll come around, Linc,” Bryce said.
“No, he won’t. I pushed him too far, and we crossed a line we shouldn’t have. I’m perfectly capable of being on my own.” She’d stood up to her ex and she could stand up to her parents and anyone else who cast pity or unwelcome stares at her. She was through thinking her misplaced decisions defined her. The Olivia who had jumped on a plane to London all by herself was back with a vengeance.
Bryce opened his mouth to say something, but a nurse walked in with the portable machine that took vitals. “Sorry to interrupt, but I need a minute with the patient.”
The guys got to their feet. “No problem,” Bryce said. Then to Liv, “We’ll check in with you later.”
“Thanks for being here.”
Zane kissed her forehead. “It’s gonna be okay.”
Liv pressed her lips together in what she hoped was a convincing smile and watched them walk out. The nurse reported that Liv’s temperature and blood pressure were normal. She helped Liv to the bathroom and Liv was happy to relay that the dizziness had disappeared.
“I almost forgot,” the nurse said on her way out of the room, “this card was left for you.” She pulled a yellow envelope out of her scrubs pocket and handed it to Liv.
Liv knew immediately who had left it. As soon as the nurse closed the door, she pulled out the card. A photograph of her favorite flowers decorated the front and inside Danny’s neat writing filled one half of the blank paper.
Dear Liv,
I’d follow you anywhere. You know I would. But I can’t follow you this time because I’m not the guy who gets to keep you. It killed me today, seeing you hurt, and it opened my eyes to the future. A future that’s already started whether I like it or not. What’s to come is on me, Maybug, and no one else.
I don’t regret crossing the line with you, but if we keep doing this, I will regret it one day, and the last thing I want is to feel sorry for getting to have you—all of you—for a little while. You’re above and beyond special and beautiful and one day you’ll find the man to make all your dreams come true. I hope I’m there to see it.
Still best friends?
Danny
Liv swiped at the tears sliding down her cheeks as she read the note again and again, trying to digest everything Danny had written. Avoiding her was a chickenshit thing to do, and she wanted to slug him. At the same time, though, she wanted to wrap him in her arms and have her say. In typical Danny fashion, he’d decided to disregard her feelings, thinking he knew what was best. She hated that he did that. More than anything she wanted to take care of him. Be there for every good thing and bad.
She read the card one more time; only this time she studied it. She usually avoided examining the handwriting of those closest to her. It had gotten her in trouble before, costing her more than one relationship when she saw things the other person didn’t want her to. But her gut, or maybe it was self-preservation, told her to analyze Danny’s.
Protection leaped out at her first. He wanted to protect her. She shut her eyes for a moment and held the card to her pounding chest. His protective instincts were unmatched, but he believed protection only came in the physical form. God, how she wanted to make him see that wasn’t the case.
With a heavy sigh, she focused again on his penmanship. He was a thinker, and took things seriously. He also needed to be true to himself, first and foremost, and resented being pushed for more than he was willing to give. The spacing between his words indicated he needed breathing room.
But.
His handwriting consisted of more than one style and her heart beat harder when she realized what emotion jumped out the most: love. He loved her.
Which made everything worse.
Because she couldn’t make him see he loved her. She couldn’t get him to accept his disease without conditions. Or trust her when she said she didn’t care if he could see for miles or see nothing. He had to come to those conclusions on his own.
No single handwriting feature proved something absolute, but combined with how well she personally knew Danny her head swam with what-ifs.
His absence spoke volumes, though, and hurt more than she wanted it to. He’d always blame himself for every little bum thing that happened to her or the baby.
Could they go back to being best friends?
Her head said yes, but her heart couldn’t muster the same response. Not yet. Not when he’d broken it. With time, though, she’d be okay. And that’s when they could be friends again. Next week. Next month. She’d have to wait and see.
She put her hands on her stomach and silently thanked the blessings she did have right now.
Tomorrow she’d begin again.
Chapter Fourteen
The second Danny walked into the house on Friday afternoon, the stale air, unwelcome quiet, and lack of scent told him Liv had moved out. He dropped the bags of clothes he’d bought in L.A. on the kitchen floor and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. It took all of two seconds for loneliness to seep into his bones.
Thank you for your card, her text had said. She told him she needed some time and space and ended with the fact that she and the baby were good, like the two of them were an afterthought. It stung like hell for her to feel that way.
He’d replied, Okay.
Okay? What the fuck was wrong with him? Could he be any more of a dick?
He wandered into the garage where the familiar and much needed smell of wood, sawdust, and stain greeted him. All of his meetings had gone exceptionally well. Between the hotel and the Downey job, ten to twelve-hour days loomed before him for the coming months. The Vanity Fair article was slated for March. Jennifer predicted another boom in interest after that.
By nine p.m., his hands were tired, his back sore. He congratulated himself on looking at the finished crib in the corner only a couple of times while he’d worked, then he hit the sack.
Saturday morning he rose early, opened the garage door to a cold, but sunny day, and got busy again, happy he didn’t have to risk running into anyone in town. Solitude had always been more his speed. Over the past few months with Liv around, he’d forgotten that.
A few hours later a text sounded on his cell. He wiped a hand across his brow and quickly reached it for, thinking maybe… But it was Bryce inviting him over for dinner. Danny declined. The newly engaged couple didn’t need him playing third wheel. As he set the phone down another text pinged. This time it was Zane sending a picture of himself holding Hannah upright, her tiny feet touching a small surfboard on a beach in Hawaii. Their first full day on Kauai looked to be perfect. Hannah wore a bathing suit with bright red flowers, a floppy white hat, and a toothless smile. Zane wasn’t just smiling. He was grinning like he’d won the intergalactic lottery. The caption “first smile” accompanied the picture.
Danny sat down on the end of the sawhorse and stared at the photo on his cell for a long time. He was thrilled his friend had found so much happiness, but his chest burned with envy. Last year, Zane had almost lost Sophie, letting his self-doubt get in the way of the best thing to ever happen to him. Didn’t Danny’s situation boil down to the same thing? Uncertainty. Thinking the other person was better off with someone else.
Not for the first time, Danny wondered about Will. Had Liv gone back to him?
“She’s gonna break hearts one day.”
Danny startled as Mrs. L. looked over his shoulder. He hadn’t seen or heard her approach. “Wish I was going to be around to see it,” she added.
Mrs. L.’s words, echoing the sentiment he’d written to Liv days earlier, hit him in the gut like he’d been slugged by a heavyweight boxing champ.
“I’m pretty sure Zane isn’t going to let her out of his sight until she’s thirty-five.” Danny stood, his gaze immediately going to the crib before he turned and looked at Mrs. L. He laid his phone back on the worktable.
“With any luck he’ll get to thirteen.” Mrs. L. lifted the bag in her hands. “I brought you something since you’ve been working so hard.”
Guess he hadn’t gone as unnoticed as he’d hoped. He took the bag and peered inside. Big, round chocolate chip cookies were stacked one on top of the other. “Thank you.”
“Olivia mentioned they were your favorite.”
His eyes met Mrs. L’s in a silent plea, begging to know if she’d talked to Liv, to answer all the questions eating him up inside for the past five days.
Mrs. L. made him wait for several agonizing seconds before she said, “She told me everything. Said she had to come clean before she packed up and left. I already knew the truth, or most of it. I wasn’t born yesterday, you know. But she insisted so we had some tea and talked.”
Danny ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry for misleading you. I feel terrible about that.”
“As you should.”
“I don’t think it’s too late to stop escrow from closing. I’ll call the realtor.” He reached for his phone.
Mrs. L. stopped him with a hand to his arm. “It’s okay. The house is still yours.”
“But—”
“I made a deal with Olivia.”
His pulse sped up. “What kind of deal?”
“You’ll have to talk to her about it. In the meantime, did you hear the truth about that horrible man, Will?” A look of disgust crossed Mrs. L.’s small, wrinkled face.
“What are you talking about?” Danny flexed his hands into fists.
“He wanted to use Liv and the baby to get a promotion. He…”
Danny listened as anger made his blood turn thick, pumping like paste through his veins. That asshole.
“Our girl is too smart and too good for the likes of someone like him. Tango told me Will left with his tail between his legs.” She paused to study him. “You really didn’t know?”
“No.”
“Then I’m glad we talked.” Was she implying he should say something?
“The one thing I don’t know is what exactly came between the two of you,” Mrs. L said. “I don’t buy Olivia’s excuse that you’re better off friends.”
“You don’t?”
Mrs. L. rolled her eyes. “I know what love—real love—looks like, young man, and you and Olivia have it. It was there the first day I met her, hiding in the roots of your friendship. You know you can’t kill roots, right? There’s always a persistent part of them buried deep down.”
Danny gulped. Yeah, he and Liv had roots, but nothing changed his medical diagnosis.
“Whatever your problem is, I hope you realize it’s not a problem for Olivia.”
Every muscle in his body clenched. “What makes you think it’s my problem and not hers?”
“I’m not wrong,” she said in lieu of answering his question. Her expression went soft and she patted his arm. “See you later. Enjoy your cookies.”
He silently thought over Mrs’ L.’s certainty as his eyes drifted to the crib yet again. Was he that transparent? Had he let his diagnosis ruin his heart so much that he was willing to give up the best thing to ever happen to him? One day he’d lose a big part of how he interacted with the world, but hadn’t his parents raised him to be a fighter? Liv was willing to fight for them, and what had he done? Told her to find someone else because he was too chicken shit to face that, deep down, he wanted a spouse and children, too.
He didn’t realize his feet had carried him closer until his hand was running over the crib he’d made for their baby.
Their. Baby.
Liv had never pitied his future or made him feel any less of a man because of his CHM. In fact, she’d faulted him for keeping his heart closed off. In that sexy, bossy voice of hers, she’d told him to get over himself. To not give up on living because of a medical condition. Blind people love and are loved, too, she’d informed him.
He hadn’t wanted to consider it until now.
Until Olivia.
And her turning his carefully planned world upside down with a marriage proposal a
nd baby on the way.
Suddenly, the thought of not being a part of Liv’s world every day felt wrong. If she wanted him, knowing what the future held, he’d do everything he could to be the guy she deserved.
It was time to step up. Way up, because one bad move could cause more damage to their fragile relationship.
He couldn’t let that happen.
Work took up the rest of his day and all of Sunday. Sunday night he sat in bed with his laptop and sent an email to his best friend.
Danny Ellis
Re: Breakfast for dinner
December 6, 8:15 PM
Did you know honey tastes great on waffles?
Olivia Lincoln
Re: Know-It-All
December 6, 8:30 PM
When it comes to honey there’s nothing I don’t know. Dipped my banana in it this morning. It was delish.
Danny Ellis
Re: Gutter
December 6, 8:31 PM
Thanks, Maybug. You just sent my mind there.
Olivia Lincoln
Re: One track
December 6, 8:32 PM
Do guys ever think of anything else? If you want the BEST taste bud melting flavor-gasm, try drizzling honey on butternut squash soup. It’s my new favorite thing.
Danny Ellis
Re: Or—
December 6, 8:33 PM
I could drizzle it on my favorite parts of you.
Danny Ellis
Re: Liv?
December 6, 8:40 PM
Sorry. I didn’t mean for our first conversation in a week to go this way. How are you? Where are you?
I’m…sorry.
Olivia Lincoln
Re: It’s okay
December 6, 8:41 PM
Joking around is easier than the hard stuff. (Pun intended.) I’m good. How are you? How was L.A.?
Danny Ellis
Re: Surviving
December 6, 8:41 PM
L.A. was good. Met Iron Man. He wants several pieces for his new house. The hotel project is very cool. And yours truly is going to be in Vanity Fair. Small mention with other furniture designers, headshot included.
Olivia Lincoln
Re: Ohmigod
December 6, 8:42 PM
Wow! You’re kind of a big deal now. That’s great. I’m happy for you. I should ask for your autograph now.
The Best Friend Bargain (Kisses in the Sand) Page 17
