"Uh. Umm." When she turned to look back at me, I held up my hand and pointed to my bare ring finger with my other hand. Confusion swept over her features. So I held up my hands as if to say "I don't know," hoping that might help ask my question. Then I encircled my finger up and down.
"No ring?" she asked.
I nodded. "No, I can't find them. Uh, no see." I pointed to my eyes.
"I no steal."
My eyes went wide. "Oh no!" I shook my head. "No, you no steal. I..." How was I supposed to ask? "Lost. Um. Can't find."
"Oh." She nodded and then started toward my bedroom. I followed, having no idea what else to do. When we reached my room, she reached for the same jewelry box I had already searched through and pointed.
All I could do was nod and say, "Thank you." What else was I supposed to say? She turned and walked back down the hall.
I flopped onto the bed, throwing myself back against the soft pillows. Staring at the ceiling, I questioned what kind of life I’d had before. What had I done during the day? Because I knew for sure it wasn't that I had huge conversations with my housekeeper.
I needed to get out of the apartment. Staring out the window, I could tell we overlooked a city. Maybe going for a walk, window-shopping, might jog my memory a little. I grabbed the phone John had given to me and a purse from the master bedroom closet.
I headed back to the kitchen and reached for the door, only to realize I didn't have any keys.
"Umm." I motioned to the front door and pretended to turn a key.
Adelia nodded and opened a drawer. She looked as confused as I was when she couldn't find what she was searching for. She reached in and took out a single key and thrust it toward me with a smile. It had to be a spare key.
So where were mine?
I thanked her and turned toward the door. As I pulled on the handle I inspected it, making sure to remember the number to my apartment. It was the first time I'd been outside the condo since I first arrived.
A small fear ran through me that I might not remember how to get back, and I was grateful that John had mentioned my car was being fixed. I wasn't sure I'd know where the heck to go or where to drive to if I’d had my car keys. Not to mention where it was parked.
A walk down the street and not going too far might be exactly what I needed to clear away so many questions I had in my mind. I double-checked to make sure I had my new phone and that it was charged. John had told me his number was in there and to call for any reason. The fear that I might have to call him to ask where our home was seemed ridiculous, and I had no intention of calling to bother him for something like that.
From that day forward, I wanted to make sure I remembered every last detail in my life.
Five
Andi
The air outside was cool and crisp—exactly what I needed to help clear some of the questions that constantly bombarded my mind. Gazing at my surroundings, I pressed for anything that might be familiar. I gazed in restaurant windows and at storefront displays and hoped for something to come back to me.
With no one to talk to, I eavesdropped on conversations of couples strolling by me, or businessmen directing their staff on what to do next. Having no one to talk to was miserable. I was alone with my thoughts with nothing to reflect upon.
My heart grew heavier with every step I took. Each person I passed, if our eyes met, I had to wonder if I knew them or if they knew me. Every beep of a horn made me jump, but I wasn't sure if it was just too much sound compared to the quiet condo or maybe it had something to do with my accident.
It was time to get off the merry-go-round of amnesia and try to make new memories going forward. The streets were beautiful, lined with tall trees; the buildings seemed clean, at least on the outside; and the people around me looked happy. Maybe I was better off not remembering my past life, especially since I didn't even feel comfortable in my own home.
The street names at the next light, I etched into my new memory bank, making sure to note how many blocks I'd walked.
"Andi!" a woman's voice called out.
The tree on the corner had leaves of crimson and gold, giving me a hint that fall was coming. The leaves would scatter to the gr—
"Andi!"
I heard it again and then felt a tug on my arm. I swung around, my heart pumping, and I had no idea what to think.
I stared at the blonde woman who seemed more than excited to see me. Bright blue eyes stared at me as if I were an anomaly. Her excitement was contagious, and I was thrilled to see her too—except that I had no idea who she was.
"Oh gosh, Andi! I had to chase you down about a block!" Despite trying to catch her breath, she couldn't stop smiling, and I found myself doing the same.
"Do you know me?" Am I 'Andi'?
The woman laughed as if I were crazy. "Andi! Of course I know you! How silly are you? And where have you been?" She shoved my chest as if we were guys who were old friends. I stared at her hand, hoping to remember something about her.
“Cal's been searching everywhere for you! Why haven't you called him? He's been worried sick. I've been banging on your door—“
"Cal.” The name fell from my lips so easily and stirred something deep inside of me. “Who's Cal? Is he friends with John?" I asked, hoping to find some connection.
"John? Who's John?"
My brows pulled in. None of this was making sense at all. If anything, I felt like we were both talking in circles.
"John, my husband.”
Her mouth popped open. Her eyes widened and brows rose as if I had told her some deep, dark secret. The smile that I found so endearing was gone.
"If you were banging on my door, surely he would have told you that I was in the—“
"Your husband? But I...You...Andi, are you feeling all right?" The whole conversation between us couldn't be more confusing, and now I was sure it was the same for her too.
"Well, actually, I was in a..."
A loud honk in the distance was followed by a man's voice calling out, "Lana!"
Turning toward the street, I saw a stopped car with a man hanging his arm out the window, and then he banged on the side of his car, holding up traffic.
"C'mon, baby! We need to go now!" he yelled, even though his eyes shone with some sort of happiness.
"Oh crap. Kyle." After smiling in his direction and giving him a gesture to hang on, she turned back to me and her smile faltered. "Andi, is everything okay?" Her eyes darted to my forehead as her brows pulled in.
"I was in a car accident, actually, and I–"
"Oh my God, Andi!" She squeezed my arm as the cars blared their horns across the street. She glanced over to the car again and then back at me, right when the man yelled out again.
"Shit. Kyle. Wait!" she screamed back at him before turning. "Andi, I'm so sorry, I have to go. Are you back at your apartment?"
I nodded, hoping to relieve her. Although I had a ton of questions, there was no way I'd get any answers right now.
"I'll call you so we can talk, okay? We need to have our morning coffee like we always do." She hugged me quickly before giving me another worried look at the same time as the man honked yet again. This time several cars behind the man's car blared their horns too.
"I'm so sorry, I have to go." She began to take off toward the street before looking back at me. "I promise I'll call and we'll catch up, okay?"
"Do you have—“ It was no use to even ask if she had my number, seeing her dodge cars from the other direction to try to make it to the car she needed to get to.
As I watched her scramble into the passenger seat, I tried to catch up on the conversation. She’d mentioned Cal and banging on my door.
Cal. That name. That name actually struck something inside of me. Why on earth did his name stir feelings inside of me that my very own husband hadn't? My heart sped up and excitement surged through me because I recognized a name. Something other than anger and confusion was a welcome emotion to have.
As the car dro
ve away with Kyle throwing me a quick wave, I realized I definitely needed to give both Lana and Cal a call.
I pulled out my phone and scrolled through the short list of names. There wasn't a Cal or a Lana listed anywhere in my phone contacts. I knew John had bought a new phone for me because mine was damaged in the car accident, but wouldn't all my contacts transfer?
How was I going to find this Cal? And did Lana really have my phone number?
When I returned to the condo, I scanned the photos on our mantle, searching for a man that might be this Cal guy. I searched John's groomsmen photos, wondering if one of them might be Cal. I even stopped short of calling John to ask him if he knew a Cal, but I had some deep hidden fear I couldn't put my finger on that kept me from doing so.
The more I repeated Cal, the more it felt familiar. John hadn't mentioned him at all. I wondered if I had heard John say that name, would I have had the same reaction. Maybe he was my brother. No, John said I was an only child. Or an uncle? Or a best friend? Surely John would have mentioned him then?
To make matters worse, repeating Cal to myself only incited my heart to skip. And that scared me.
"Going out for a walk again, Mrs. Vasslor?” Walter asked as I passed him for the second time that day. The first time I had asked him for the address to my building to make sure I could get back. After a brief, sad smile, he’d provided detailed information and even went as far as to type it into my phone for me. I was relieved John had explained my situation to him ahead of time.
"Yes." I smiled back at him. "I'm not feeling like being alone up there."
"You never did," he replied, and his eyes dulled as he quickly looked away.
"Did I do that often? Did I not like it before?"
His expression dropped, and I knew he had said something he shouldn’t have as he tried to explain. "I think you liked being outside, that's all I meant."
I frowned at his statement, but even his corrected one seemed a bit off. Had I told him in the past how much I disliked it upstairs or that I wasn’t fond of the condo? Debating on asking him further, I studied his face briefly. His lips were pressed together, and I was pretty sure he wouldn’t make another slip.
No, Walter wasn’t going to say anything else, but standing there, I knew I needed to figure out a way to get him to talk to me a little more. It was like his little hints were reaffirming what I’d been feeling all along. I didn’t belong there. I wasn’t sure how, but I was going to find out. Walter was going to have to answer some questions at some point—whether he wanted to or not.
My attention went back to the street before me. I debated going a different direction than I had that morning so I could explore. Something inside me felt like I needed to go the same route again, in case that Lana woman returned. I had so many questions for her and desperately wanted to speak with her again.
I tilted my head up to the sky, taking in a deep breath of the cool, fresh air. A new excitement stirred inside me, and like earlier, I had some sort of hope of finding out more about my life. Glancing around at the flow of traffic and so many people rushing by, I was amazed at how alive the streets were. School must have let out, and hearing kids’ laughter added to the excitement of being outside. I smiled as I ran my hand over my belly, knowing one day I’d hold my child’s hand and we’d walk down the sidewalk together too.
Seeing parents and children holding hands together reminded me of crisp fall days and starting school with my new clothes and, of course, a backpack too.
I stopped short, feeling my breath catch as I realized I’d had a memory—or maybe it was a small feeling from my past, since I couldn’t really picture the scene. It could also have been something as simple as knowing it was fall and school started, but I couldn’t shake the feeling. It was like a word on the tip of your tongue, but you can’t figure out what you’re trying to say; the image was right there.
A car beeped in the distance, breaking me from my deep realization. Looking both ways, I decided to go in the same direction as earlier. With this new feeling inside of me, I beamed. My memories might not be coming back immediately, but maybe having these feelings might trigger something more. There was hope for the return of my past. Excitement danced throughout my whole body, and I hugged myself as I continued walking down the sidewalk.
Six
Cal
I knew I was overthinking this; it was more than likely this was something as simple as she dumped me. While that was the easy answer, it was also a hard one to accept.
Having someone dump you would be tough to deal with, but nothing compared to the absolute pain of having your wife and unborn child die in a car accident. Being broken up with—that I had control over. I could move on from that. If something happened to Andi, like what happened with Laura, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to recover. Two loves lost in one lifetime would kill me.
Without any sleep and with no idea what else to do, I drove around. It probably wasn't the smartest idea in the world. After all, I was exhausted. Every waking moment I had spent trying to figure out where else to look. I felt like I had covered all the other areas. There were only a couple towns left to look—not that it probably mattered. I was losing faith with every passing moment.
In my exhausted state, I tried to look at things objectively. After two months of dating, Andi had disappeared. Things had been fantastic between us, but was that all in my mind? Had it been only me who was happy?
It couldn't be. She up and left her apartment, her new job that she had been so excited about—well, except for a few jerks at her office, but that's to be expected, right?
My mind sifted through our time together, trying to pinpoint anything that might have been out of place. There had to be something. We never really discussed our pasts, but I guess I thought it was because we both came from painful backgrounds.
Starting back to when we first met, she had been so furious with me. A stupid fender bender after I had hung up with my brother. The jerk wanted me to go on a date with his girlfriend’s friend. That's when I wasn't paying attention and hit Andi's car. In an intersection, no less. The moment it happened, I’d chastised myself for being so careless and stupid while driving. Until Andi stepped out of her car. The memory of seeing her for the first time still hit me hard in the chest. Her silk blouse already had a small stain on it. Knowing what I know now about Andi, it had to have been a coffee stain. The thought made me chuckle as I drove down another street, my eyes peeled for anything Andi.
Maybe I was going nuts. Between lack of sleep and driving any neighborhood I could think of. And what was I looking for anyway? Her hair or her car? Really, at that point that was all I had to go by, wasn't it? As I slumped back while waiting at yet another red light, I realized how stupid of a plan it was—driving around looking for a white Audi Cabriolet. "Sorry, Andi. Pearl," I said out loud to no one. She had corrected me so many times, I should have gotten the color right.
"Great. I'm so exhausted I'm even talking to myself." That's when I realized I had done it again. I was losing hope. There was nothing else I could think of besides driving around looking mainly for her car.
Frank, the guy who’d fixed up Andi's car after our fender bender, was calling around to all the shops to see if anyone was working on hers. Of course the dealerships were being dicks. He'd said they were being assholes and not giving him info. Figures.
That's when it hit me, probably a little too hard: Andi hadn't wanted to report our little accident. I kept asking myself why when it first happened but then didn't bother trying to figure it out after I'd been swept away by my relationship with her. But now, I wanted to know why.
Driving around aimlessly made me realize I had zoned out. Looking around my new surroundings, I laughed. Buckhead. Another rich area. What would Andi be doing here? I was wasting my time, but then the fact that she drove around a new Audi made me second guess being there. I had never questioned what car she drove, but I should have. There were times her credit card was declined, yet she
was driving around an Audi.
Scanning the neighborhood, I focused on the view outside, concentrating on the architecture of the area. Since that’s what our company did, construct new buildings and revamp old ones, it was something I always looked at regardless of where I went. Some of the buildings I recognized as having been built by competitors of our company. My dad had built a company hoping each of his boys would fill in a certain role. It worked out exactly like he wanted. Jay, my oldest brother, became the president—perfect for him since he liked to order us around anyway. Alex, the middle child, loved to design things and became our architect. Rounding out our company was me, with construction. I'd always loved to build things and when Dad figured it out, he groomed each of us to take over his company doing what we loved.
My eyes darted from the buildings to the people scurrying around the sidewalks. Andi wouldn’t be in this area, and I knew I was wasting my time. My eyes popped from person to person while that question of why she’d be there rang through my mind. It was the type of place Laura had always wanted to live. She’d wanted that lifestyle; actually, she’d spent money like she already lived there. Our marriage hadn’t been perfect, yet I’d held onto the high points of our relationship. Except this. It was one of the recurring arguments we’d had. She had wanted all of this—this whole “rich” lifestyle—and I wanted none of it.
The fight inside me started up again. That feeling of guilt for not having given her what she wanted during our marriage tore at me nightly. If I had known she was pregnant, would I have given her that house she’d wanted in the fancy area she desperately desired? If I’d have known the future, I would have. The thought made me nauseous.
Maybe I should have opened up to Andi about Laura. What would Andi have thought if I had explained about my previous wife who’d died in a car accident. Not to mention, who had been carrying my unborn child. And that I hadn't wanted any relationship—until Andi. And now I couldn't find her. And that same fear that something bad had happened to her was becoming more of a reality with each passing moment I couldn’t find her.
Accidents Happen (Forever Happens Book 1) Page 3
