by Stan
“But they’re gonna break up a beautiful romance!” said Queenie. “Someone’s gotta stop them!” As always, Queenie had a soft spot in her heart for cubs with crushes.
“Not necessary,” said Brother calmly. “Something tells me Milton can handle this all by himself.”
By now Too-Tall and the gang were dancing around Milton and Bertha in a circle, taunting, “Massive Milton’s no darn good, the fattest guy in the neighborhood!” Milton just folded his arms and watched. After a while they switched to a new taunt: “Milt works on the farm every day, makes ten cents an hour and that ain’t hay!” Still Milton ignored them.
“You call that handling it?” wailed Queenie. “If he keeps handling it like that, he’ll be the size of a mouse by the time they’re through!”
“Keep your blouse on,” said Brother. “Wait till they say something about Bertha.”
At that very moment the gang stopped dancing, gathered in a row right in front of their victims, and began a new chant.
“Milt is massive.
Bertha’s big.
We call them
Mr. and Mrs. Pig!”
Milton’s mild face suddenly scrunched into a furious frown. He unfolded his enormous arms and reached for the gang. Grabbing them by their collars, two by two—Too-Tall and Skuzz in one massive hand. Smirk and Vinnie in the other—he lifted them, wriggling and squirming, high into the air and let them fall to the hardtop in a pile of tangled arms and legs. To finish the job, he lunged forward and did a belly flop on the pile.
A hush had fallen over the playground. Every cub present stared at Milton in awe as he calmly picked himself up off the pile of pancaked bullies and walked back to Bertha’s side.
At his office window, Mr. Grizzmeyer was also staring at Milton. What a cub! He seemed so gentle and shy, but when he got riled up, he had the strength of an ox and the temper of a Brahma bull!
Suddenly a vision came to the coach. It was a vision of something that would not only solve his problem with the school wrestling league but probably win a championship for the team. A vision of Massive Milton Chubb, in a Bear Country School wrestling uniform, performing his special move, the “pancake,” on every heavyweight in the league!
Chapter 8
A New Life
From that day on, Massive Milton’s life changed for the better. When Mr. Grizzmeyer told him how he could save the school wrestling team, he joined in an instant. That gave as big a boost to his popularity with the other cubs as his victory over Too-Tall had.
Milton liked the idea of becoming a star heavyweight wrestler. And now, of course, there was no question of his being afraid to be on the same team with Too-Tall. In fact, Too-Tall started cutting wrestling practice to avoid Milton. Whenever he passed Milton on the playground, he would cringe, give a sheepish grin, and tip his cap.
Milton had a lot of work to do if he was going to become a star wrestler in time for the first league match. Coach Grizzmeyer put him on a crash training course. Every day, before wrestling practice, the coach personally supervised Milton’s training. Milton did sit-ups, push-ups, and pull-ups till he was blue in the face. He tried jumping jacks in the gym, but as soon as Mr. G noticed the rafters shaking, he took Milton out to the football field, joking that “crash course” was, after all, just an expression.
There he had Milton finish his jumping jacks and do some wind sprints. (Actually, the wind sprinted and Milton just ran.) After a full week of conditioning, Massive Milton wasn’t quite as massive anymore, having taken off a few pounds.
Of course, there’s more to wrestling than conditioning, brute strength, and the “pancake.” During practice. Coach Grizzmeyer showed Milton all the classic moves. They worked on his quickness and timing, too. The coach asked Bertha to give Milton some practice matches, but she just blushed and said she didn’t feel right about it. So Mr. G squeezed into his old college wrestling uniform and gave Milton some practice matches himself.
Mr. Grizzmeyer didn’t know what Bertha had meant by “not feeling right” about wrestling Milton. But by now all the cubs knew that Milton had asked Bertha to go to the big school dance with him the following week. Some started joking that while Milton was on a crash course, Milton and Bertha were on a crush course.
Chapter 9
Two Rights Make a Wrong
After a while, Too-Tall came slinking back to wrestling practice. Coach Grizzmeyer had gotten ahold of him and given him an earful. Even so, Too-Tall managed to get the coach to agree not to put him up against Massive Milton in practice. The coach didn’t mind making such a deal, because his own wrestling uniform already fit him a lot better now. Wrestling Milton day after day at practice had caused him to take off a few pounds himself.
Finally, there were only a few days left before the first league wrestling match of the year. At the last practice before the match, the team looked to be in excellent shape. Especially Milton. His continued conditioning had taken off more pounds. Compared to how he looked before, he was slim and trim.
As Coach Grizzmeyer wrestled Milton, he could tell that the weight loss had caused the big cub to lose some of his brute strength. But what he had lost in power was more than made up for by what he had gained in quickness and endurance. Now the once massive cub was a lean, mean wrestling machine.
Just as Coach Grizzmeyer was motioning that he needed a breather, the far door of the gym swung open, and in walked Queenie, Brother, Sister, Cousin Fred, Bonnie, and Bertha. Actually, only Queenie, Brother, Sister, Fred, and Bonnie were walking. Bertha was being dragged and pushed by the others.
“What’s going on?” yelled Mr. Grizzmeyer. “Stop bearhandling that cub this instant!”
“Chill out, Coach,” said Queenie. “When we got to the gym door, she suddenly turned shy about claiming what’s rightly hers.”
“What’s rightly hers?” said Grizzmeyer. “What on earth are you talking about?”
Queenie raised a fist in the air. “We won!” she cried. “Bermuda’s sister won the court case! Judge Gavel just struck down the wrestling league’s no-girls rule!”
The coach’s mouth fell open in surprise. He had gotten so caught up in getting Massive Milton ready for the wrestling season that he had completely forgotten about the court case! What was more, it looked as if Queenie and the few friends she had told about it had done such a good job keeping it a secret that Bertha had only just found out about it.
Mr. Grizzmeyer now pondered his two most important recent accomplishments as wrestling coach. First, he had gotten Massive Milton into top wrestling form for the start of the season. Second, he had set in motion a successful legal challenge to the league’s old-fashioned rules. Taken separately, these were great things for his team. But taken together…
Mr. G knew well the old saying “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” But he had never heard anyone say that two rights couldn’t make a wrong. Now he knew why.
“Er…uh…,” stammered the coach, “…it seems we are confronted with a dilemma…”
“A what?” said Sister.
“Dilemma,” said Cousin Fred, who read the dictionary for fun. “A situation requiring a choice between equally undesirable alternatives.”
“Hey!” said Queenie. “Don’t call Bertha ‘undesirable’!”
“You don’t understand, Queenie,” said Coach Grizzmeyer. “What’s undesirable is leaving either of these two fine wrestlers off the team.”
But Queenie wasn’t satisfied. “There’s no dilemma!” she insisted. “Bertha was the team heavyweight first!”
“Wait just a minute!” said Too-Tall, seeing a chance to get on Milton’s good side. “Milton has worked real hard to get ready for the season. He’s our heavyweight now!”
Queenie and Too-Tall began shouting at each other at the top of their lungs. Soon they were joined by the other cubs. The yelling went on until Coach Grizzmeyer put his whistle between his lips and blew one piercing blast. “Qui-e-e-t-t!” he roared. Instant silence. “The way I se
e it, both Bertha and Milton have an equal claim on the heavyweight spot on this wrestling team.”
But Bertha said, “That’s okay, Coach. I don’t deserve it as much as Milton does.” She was blushing.
Milton quickly put in, “Oh, no. Coach. I don’t deserve it. Bertha does.” He was blushing, too.
Queenie noticed their red faces and cooed, “Oh, isn’t that sweet…”
Mr. Grizzmeyer blew another blast on his whistle. “That’s enough mush at my wrestling practice!” he barked. “Sweet or not, it makes no difference. Like I said, Bertha and Milton both deserve the heavyweight spot.”
“Then how do we decide who gets it?” asked Barry.
“There’s only one fair way,” said the coach. “They’ll have to wrestle for it.”
Now the blushing got really intense. So intense, in fact, that Sister could almost see a red glow spread through the gym. “Wow,” she said softly to Brother. “When I decided to play matchmaker, I had no idea it would lead to this kind of match.”
“No kidding!” blurted out big-mouth Queenie, who had overheard. “It’s a love match!”
Chapter 10
Let’s Get It On!
Queenie’s remark made Bertha and Milton blush so hard that the others could almost feel the temperature rise in the gym. But the two cubs had no choice. Coach Grizzmeyer declared that he could not have a wrestling team if the heavyweight spot were not decided fairly.
So Bertha went to the locker room to put on her uniform. When she returned, she took her place at one corner of the wrestling mat. Milton stood at the other corner, and Coach Grizzmeyer was in the middle.
The other cubs had climbed into the stands to watch and root. “Go, Broom!” cried Queenie. “Sweep him under the mat!” Too-Tall countered with “When does a Broom turn into a pancake? When Massive Milton pins her!”
But Brother, Sister, Bonnie, and Cousin Fred didn’t know which cub to root for. They hated to see either lose. And Sister the matchmaker was beginning to worry that the Love Match might lead to a breakup. “I wonder,” she said to Brother, “if Milton pins Bertha now, will she let him pin her at the big dance tonight?”
Queenie overheard again. “Did he buy her a pin already?” she gasped.
“That’s the rumor,” said Sister.
Queenie was suddenly torn between rooting for Bertha and not rooting at all. But only for a moment. “There are larger issues involved here than whether or not two cubs go steady!” she declared. “Since there has to be a winner, let it be a female! Go, Bertha!”
“Are you kiddin’?” said Too-Tall. “A girl can’t beat a guy at wrestling! Milton’s gonna pancake her so flat, they’ll have to pour maple syrup on her to revive her!”
“All right, wrestling fans!” boomed Coach Grizzmeyer. “We have fifteen minutes of heavyweight wrestling for your enjoyment! In one corner, wearing the Bear Country School team uniform: Big Bertha Broom! In the other corner, wearing the…uh…the other Bear Country School team uniform: Massive Milton Chubb! Let’s get it on!” And with that, he blew his whistle to start the match.
What followed was a grueling exhibition of wrestling power and skill. If anyone had thought that the two heavyweight contenders wouldn’t try their hardest because of their mutual crush, they were soon proved wrong. Both cubs did themselves proud. By the time Coach Grizzmeyer’s whistle signaled the end of the match, the grapplers each had two takedowns and two escapes.
“Final score: Broom four, Chubb four!” announced Coach Grizzmeyer. “I declare this match a draw!”
“A draw?” moaned Too-Tall. “Then how do we choose between them?”
Mr. G shrugged. “They’ll have to come back tomorrow afternoon and try again. Same time, same place.”
Chapter 11
Pancake, Anyone?
What a letdown! Everyone would have to wait a whole day to find out who would be the team’s heavyweight.
Milton and Bertha still sat on the mat, breathing hard. They were exhausted. Maybe that’s why they weren’t blushing. Or maybe…
“Gee,” Sister whispered to Brother, “do you think this match crushed their crush?”
“Either this match or the one hanging over their heads,” said Brother. “Somehow, I don’t think we’ll be seeing them together at the dance tonight.”
“All right, cubs,” said Coach Grizzmeyer, heading toward the office. “See you all back here tomorrow.”
“Wait a minute, Coach,” said Bertha. She was looking strangely at Milton.
“What is it?” asked Mr. G.
“Milton’s lost an awful lot of weight,” she said.
“Thanks to my training program,” said the coach proudly. “He may be the best-conditioned heavyweight in the division now.”
“But I’m not even sure he is a heavyweight anymore,” said Bertha.
Coach Grizzmeyer looked carefully at Milton. Then he had Milton and Bertha stand side by side. “Hmm,” he said. “I hadn’t thought of that. Only one way to find out for sure.”
In one corner of the gym stood a scale the school athletes used for weighing themselves. The cubs crowded around it as Milton stepped onto it and Mr. G adjusted the measuring weights. The coach leaned forward to peer at the measuring bar. “Well, I’ll be!” he said. “He’s a fraction of a pound too light!”
“Yay!” cried Queenie. “That makes Bertha our team’s heavyweight!”
“And if I know my wrestling divisions,” said Cousin Fred, “it makes Milton a light heavyweight.”
All eyes turned to Too-Tall. Barry said what everyone was thinking: “But we already have a light heavyweight!”
Coach Grizzmeyer looked from Milton to Too-Tall and back. “There’s only one fair way to decide who gets the light heavyweight spot on the team,” he said. “You two cubs will have to—”
But Too-Tall cut him off. “Hold on, Coach,” he said, backing slowly toward an exit. There was fear in the big guy’s eyes.
“What’s wrong now?” asked the coach.
“I…er, uh…I’ve been meaning to tell you, Coach,” stammered Too-Tall, still inching his way toward the exit. “I think I oughta concentrate on football and basketball this year…wrestling kinda ruins my concentration…” Suddenly he stopped and looked at the unbelieving stares of his audience. “Oh, what’s the use. The truth is, I’m allergic to pancakes.” And with that, he turned and strode to the exit.
Milton and Bertha beamed at each other as Coach Grizzmeyer said, “Well, that settles it. Bear Country School has a wrestling team.”
Chapter 12
You Light Up My Life
At the big dance that evening, rockin’ cubs packed the gym floor the instant the music started. But not Brother, Sister, Bonnie, and Queenie. They were all too busy watching the main entrance.
Soon Too-Tall strutted over and grabbed Queenie’s arm. “Come on, girl!” he shouted above the din. “Let’s rock!”
“Can’t!” Queenie yelled back. “Gotta watch for Bertha and Milton! They haven’t arrived yet!”
“You and your romance!” moaned Too-Tall. “Why don’t you just leave those two alone?”
“Leave them alone?” said Queenie. “Who are you to talk about leaving them alone?”
Too-Tall had no ready comeback for Queenie’s gibe. Grumbling, he slunk off.
“I don’t think they’re coming,” said Sister sadly. “What a shame.”
But just then Queenie pointed at the entrance. “Here they are!” she cried. “And look what’s on Bertha’s blouse! I guess he couldn’t wait to get to the dance to pin her.”
Sure enough, what Milton had failed to do that afternoon on the wrestling mat he had done in his parents’ car on the way to the dance. Sister “Cupid” Bear beamed with pride.
“That’s great!” said Bonnie. “Now we can dance!”
The cubs danced till they nearly dropped—Brother with Bonnie, Queenie with Too-Tall, and Sister with her best friend, Lizzy Bruin. Then they headed for the refreshments table as s
low music came on for a change of pace.
“Let’s sit this one out,” Brother said to Bonnie. “Rest up for when the rock music comes back on.”
“Good idea,” said Sister. “Hey, where’s Queenie?”
“Probably still dancing with Too-Tall,” said Bonnie.
In fact, Queenie was not dancing with Too-Tall anymore. At that moment, she was on the other side of the gym, coaxing Bertha and Milton onto the dance floor.
“Hey, what’s that strange red light?” asked Sister after a while.
The cubs looked around. A faint red glow had spread through the darkened gym.
Brother gazed up into the rafters. “I don’t see any red lamps…,” he said.
“It seems to be coming from the dance floor,” said Bonnie.
The cubs turned their attention to the dance floor packed with cubs. Soon they saw what it was.
“Wow,” said Sister. “I’ve heard of folks who light up a room when they come into it. But I always thought it was just an expression!”
There, in the middle of the crowd of dancers, were Milton Chubb and Bertha Broom. They were dancing cheek to cheek. And blushing their hearts out.
It looked as though that afternoon’s final whistle hadn’t ended the Love Match, after all.
About the Authors
Stan and Jan Berenstain began writing the Berenstain Bears series in 1962, with The Big Honey Hunt. Since then, more than 250 Berenstain Bears books have been published and sales of the series are nearing 300 million. Stan and Jan have left behind a legacy of arguably the best-selling children’s book series ever. Making the books has long been a family affair, with son Mike Berenstain writing and illustrating new stories about everyone’s favorite bear family. You can visit the Berenstains online at www.berenstainbears.com.
