by Milly Taiden
He sneered and took a step closer, backing her up against the dark wood paneling. “I wouldn’t advertise that too loudly. You wouldn’t want to come off as desperate.”
Beth couldn’t hold back either the eye roll or the harsh laugh. Who was he kidding? “I don’t feel desperate. I don’t think that guy or any of the others have thought that about me, either. Only you and your committed bachelorhood, also known as baby phobia—”
He cut her off with a hard, angry kiss, his lower lip pushing against her teeth, practically forcing her to nip at him. She gasped instead, hungry for more. For his tongue and his silence, preferring this Finn to the pissed off hulk. So she welcomed him into her mouth and against her body, relishing the press her breasts against his chest and how their hips aligned just so. Oh how she ached to feel him inside her, not just pressed hot and hard into her belly. But even that tease was delicious, knowing that she did that to him.
No, jealousy did that to him. She told her inner voice of reason to shut the hell up. She had a man to kiss. They were barely hidden in the side hall, nothing else was going to happen. Just a kiss.
One long, needy, awesome kiss.
When he pulled away, they were both breathing hard and their lips were wet and swollen. That was a priming for sex kind of kiss and she felt the effects of it from head to toe.
He dragged his hands up and down her sides. “What others?”
“Pardon?”
“You said that guy or any of the others.”
“That’s none of your business!”
“It sure as hell feels like my business.” He dragged in a breath, then another, pulling himself back together. But he didn’t let her go. As the slick mask fell into place, she braced herself for him to withdraw, but instead he buried his face in her neck.
She let her head fall back against the wall with a groan. “Don’t…you can’t get all possessive here. You aren’t interested, remember?”
“That’s not how I remember it at all.” He slid one hand into her hair, tipping her face toward his. His eyes glittered with desire and it was hard not to succumb to the electricity between them.
“It’s a package deal for me, Finn. Just because your kisses make me weak in the knees doesn’t mean I’m going to throw away a few months of my life on an affair that can’t go anywhere.”
“Weak in the knees?” His normally hard mouth looked soft and inviting. Shiny and made for sex. He shifted, pressing his erection more deliberately into her core and she swallowed a moan. “My kisses do that to you?”
“I told you I like them,” she breathed. “I obviously like them.”
“Liking and being physically affected are two different things.” He squeezed her neck with one hand and her hip with the other and pressed his forehead against hers. Their breath mingled together and Beth lazily thought that if they were surrounded by glass instead of dark wood and history, they’d have steamed up the space. “I know it makes me an asshole, but I like being under your skin.”
She jerked under his grasp. “That does make you—”
“Because you’re in my head,” he muttered, continuing as if she hadn’t sputtered a protest. “In my fucking bloodstream. Your scent is blueprinted on every cell in my body. Being close to you like this drives me mental.”
It was all she’d ever wanted to hear from a man. She could weep from the near perfection except for the silent but that followed. But I’m not a forever man and I’ll leave you before you snake your way into my heart. And if she were in his bloodstream, it wouldn’t take long to send him running scared.
She wasn’t playing that game. The words were heavy, refusing at first to be dragged out, but she managed to press her hand against his chest and shake her head. “I’m looking for someone to get serious with. Are you that guy?”
There was no honest answer to that question that wouldn’t break her heart, but she ducked her head to find his gaze anyway. What she saw there took her breath away. Did he know how tortured he looked? And didn’t that just make her heart heavier. Double damn.
He leaned in, slow enough for her to say no. She didn’t. Couldn’t. This kiss was bittersweet and lingered on the last beat. Another attempt at walking away. When he pulled away, he held her gaze, but the tortured look was gone, replaced with simple regret. “I don’t want to lie to you.”
Sadness spilled into her chest cavity, as if her heart sprang a leak. Maybe it did. Was it possible to love someone after a year of fighting and a few kisses? She steeled herself against wondering anymore about how they’d ended up like this. It didn’t matter. “We need to stop doing this.” She pressed her lips together, forcing them into a smile that didn’t mean anything other than she didn’t want to cry. Wouldn’t fool anyone, but it didn’t matter. “I need to go.”
This time, she was the one to walk away.
And she didn’t look back.
*
He’d called himself a lot of names since succumbing to his attraction to Beth. Jackass. Bastard. World’s Most Callous Man. But the truth was, he was an idiot.
Finn didn’t head back into the hall right away. He just…couldn’t. And he hated himself for being weak. He went out the side door instead but didn’t get far before a light rain started. Cursing, he returned the way he came, but he couldn’t bring himself to go inside. To watch Beth smile at customers. Hear her laugh.
He wished one of them would bend. You mean her. You want her to press pause on her biological clock so you can get your rocks off for a few months. It would be more than he’d given any other woman in a number of years, but it wasn’t nearly enough.
Beth deserved forever. And he wasn’t that man.
The door opened, thumping into his shoulder, but he didn’t say anything. It barely registered.
“Sorry, man.” A young kid, probably in his early twenties, stopped beside him and pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. Finn was pretty sure there was no smoking allowed within a few metres of the entrance, but saying something would require saying something, and he didn’t want to talk. To anyone.
Instead he grunted and shifted over a foot.
The rasp of the lighter, that first inhale. The tip of the cigarette glowing red with each inhale. Finn had smoked for a couple years in university. When he was young and felt invincible. It had never had the same calming effect on him that it did on others, but what the hell. Maybe it would sharpen his focus. Dull his hunger for what he couldn’t have. “Can I bum one of those?”
The kid held out the paper carton, then the lighter.
Finn inhaled deeply, pulling the curl of smoke deep into his lungs. Not deep enough to reach the ache, but it was something.
College was also the last time he’d had what he’d call a broken heart. The irony wasn’t lost on him. One nail in his coffin wasn’t enough. Next he’d be binge drinking and singing R.E.M. songs like they held unique truths about his life.
There wasn’t anything special about losing one’s head over a girl. It was practically a cliche and Finn was better than that.
He took another drag, then held the smoke between his fingers until the kid went back inside. He ground the half-smoked cigarette under his foot then flicked the butt into a garbage can a few feet away.
He was stronger than that. And it hadn’t done anything for the hunger.
*
The rain persisted over the afternoon and heavy clouds brought a premature darkness as they wrapped up for the evening. Finn had stuck tight to his corner, and while he’d heard her voice a few times, had been spared having to watch Beth work. His luck ran out at the service entrance when she pulled up in her car just as he stepped outside. She popped her trunk and dashed through the heavy drops of rain to four large boxes stacked against the wall.
Keep going, his heart said.
He stopped. “Can I help?”
She froze for a second, then nodded with an apologetic smile. “Thanks.”
They split the work, fitting two boxes in the backseat
, one in her trunk and one on the passenger side.
“I didn’t think this through,” she shouted through the heavy patter of water on metal as they paused next to her door. “Thanks for your help.”
He shrugged. Her hair was plastered to her head and her blouse clung to her shoulders and breasts like a second skin. Another stolen moment. He didn’t feel put out in the least. He wanted to reach out and push the droplets off her nose, but he stuffed his hands in his pockets instead.
“You’re getting soaked.”
“I’m fine.” He nodded to the boxes. “You going to be okay with those?”
“Yeah, I just need to drop them at the winery on my way home.”
He looked up at the sky. “Maybe leave them in your car overnight. Take them tomorrow.”
She winced. “It’s foodstuff. Organic chips, that kind of thing. Ty will kill me if I don’t properly store them at all times.”
That didn’t make any sense to Finn, but he shrugged. Not his problem.
She opened her door and reached halfway toward him, as if she was going to squeeze his arm, then changed her mind.
Touch me, he wanted to plead.
Weakling, his inner voice mocked.
He turned and stalked away.
*
Beth realized Finn was following her when she hit the city outskirts. He lived in Windsor and had no reason to head in this direction at the end of a long day of work. She thought about calling him and telling him to turn around but, oh god, what if he wasn’t actually following her. What if he was heading into the country for someone else, or for work. It was the height of ego to assume she was his motivation for anything given that she’d pushed him away repeatedly.
But as she took the Essex bypass and he continued to trail behind her, her heart did a little dance.
Off-limits, she reminded herself. No future. No babies, no I love yous.
Her breasts didn’t seem to care. They swelled heavy in her damp bra, nipples straining for more than the sporadic brush of her blouse. Her thighs were on board with damning the future too. They were positively vibrating at the thought of parting for Finn and all the pleasure he would surely bring to every part of her body.
The rain picked up again, heavy enough now for the fastest windshield wiper speed. She slowed down and willed her body not to distract her until they were safely at the winery. And then maybe she’d invite Finn back to her place.
What had he suggested the day of their first kiss? They had this chemistry between them. It was distracting. Maybe they needed to get it out of their system. Kissing hadn’t done that.
Maybe they needed to excise all their demons in one fell swoop. One hot, sweaty, kinky swoop.
Maybe not kinky. Finn seemed like a lusty but vanilla type of guy. Which would be awesome too. She’d never been that dirty herself, except in her fantasies.
Where Finn may or may not have tied her up a few times.
Focus. Finally the quiet streetlights of Wardham appeared in the distance, and then they were driving through town. She turned left at the main intersection, unable to see the beach straight ahead now that dusk had fallen. But it was there. She drove past Kendall’s Hardware and the pizza joint, then up the hill, curving around the bluffs before dropping again and carving closer to the lake. Up ahead an OPP cruiser was parked at the side of the road, a few metres shy of the entrance to the winery. She slowed down, wondering if something had happened, but the police officer inside the car had his head curved toward his computer. Glancing in the rearview mirror, she saw Finn was still with her.
If something happened, she wouldn’t be alone when she found out. But that didn’t stop a bubble of anxiety from lodging itself in her chest as she drove down the long lane to the modern main building but everything was dark and the parking lot empty. She parked right in front of the main doors and Finn did the same.
“You unlock. I’ll bring these in,” he yelled at her through the downpour. She already had the keys out. The sooner they got back to her place and out of the wet, the better.
She held the door as he brought in the four boxes, then together they moved them to the kitchen. She leaned against the stainless steel island for a minute, catching her breath. “Wow, that’s quite the storm out there, eh?”
“You aren’t mad that I followed you?” He moved closer but kept his hands to himself.
She shook her head slowly. It was hard to be sexy when one looked like a drowned rat. Want to come back to my place and share a hot shower? No strings attached, please disregard everything else I’ve ever told you? It sounded weak, even to her own ears. Before she could muster a better, hotter, more believable invitation, he was stepping back. Moving away. Shutting down.
No! But she didn’t say it.
“I just wanted to make sure you got home safely.” He tightened his lips and shoved his hands in his pockets. “It was probably a stupid idea.”
“You were just being a friend.” She willed her smile to reach her eyes but she didn’t like the way he was looking at her without looking at her. It felt a hundred kinds of wrong.
He frowned slightly. “I didn’t have anything else to do tonight. I’d do it for anyone.”
Yeah. A hundred kinds of wrong. “We should go,” she whispered.
“I’ll follow you back to town. Make sure you get home okay.” His voice was gruff but distant. She wanted him closer. Wanted his words rough and hot against her skin.
You don’t always get what you want.
Another nod. That was all she had. It wasn’t enough.
She locked up then got in her car without looking at him. It was too hard wanting more than she knew was good for her. Or him for that matter.
She didn’t get very far. At the end of the lane was a small lake of water, growing by the second. A rush of water told her the culvert on the other side of the road was overflowing. And on the other side of the road, where the OPP cruiser had been, red flares warned that the road was closed. Even if she could see in the other direction, she knew the dip in the road was deep enough that driving through the water wouldn’t be safe. They were stranded.
A rap on her window told her Finn had also figured out their problem. He pointed back to the winery before disappearing again into the night. His car started up again, he did a three-point turn, and then she was alone with the lake and the rain and the crushing realization that she was going to be alone with Finn for an entire night. And not in the good way.
***
CHAPTER SEVEN
Finn stood brooding under the overhang as she silently unlocked for the second time in one night. Inside she pressed the alarm code and flipped on the light. Her wet shoes skidded a bit on the tile floor and her muscles screamed as she tensed to stay upright. God, she was tired. And soaked to the bone.
She glanced over at Finn. He’d dumped his briefcase on one of the benches and was scrolling through his phone. Not looking at her. Really not looking at her.
Two could play that game. She pulled out her phone and texted Ty. Think the road to the winery is closed. May be stranded here with Finn.
His response was swift. And crude. There are condoms in the bathroom off my office.
Her heart did not pick up at that thought. And also, ew. Glad you’re concerned for my safety.
Are you okay?
Too little, too late.
Call me in the morning. Not too early.
Her lips quirked despite her fatigue and general grumpiness.
“Cancelling a date?”
Beth wasn’t one to swear, but a big ol’ F you was on the tip of her tongue as she looked over at Finn again. He was glaring at her, like it was her fault they were stranded. She squared her shoulders and smoothed out her facial expression. “You didn’t need to follow me.”
“Yeah, I did.” He was wearing a black polo shirt and dress pants, but as he crossed his arms his shirt glinted under the overhead lights. She wasn’t the only one who needed dry clothes.
She let it
go. The less they talked, the better. “Come on. Ty and Evan both have bathrooms in their offices. And couches. We can do Rock Paper Scissors for which of us gets Ty's office."
"It's all yours." His jaw twitched like he was mad she gave him a choice. Like he didn’t want extraneous information just because she wouldn't have a fling with him. Whatever.
"You don't know what you're giving up," she said with an unnecessary amount of tease in her voice.
His jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed. "You don't think I know?"
Poor Finn, can't get laid without consequences. No. Won’t get laid because he doesn’t like the consequences. Again her inner twelve-year-old rolled her eyes.
“Ty has a TV and a computer hooked up as a media player. Probably a fully stocked bar fridge.” She stomped past him and headed for the landing, tossing her last volley over her shoulder without glancing back. “I’m going to take a shower. I’ll find you a change of clothes and put them in Evan’s office for you.”
*
He watched Beth sway her hips up the stairs, struck dumb by the tantalizing image of her in a steamy shower. Hot water sluicing between her sudsy breasts, held in place by his hands as he pressed into her from behind. On his knees, spreading her open and dying from the wonder of his first taste of her. Watching her recover from her orgasm, panting and slowly releasing her hold on his hair. Sliding down to kiss him, taste herself on his mouth, and then shove him back so she could return the favour. The sway of her ass in his blurry vision as he died and went to heaven.
Something he’d never actually experience.
He wanted another cigarette. Or a few rounds in a boxing ring.
The West brothers’ offices were at the other end of the building from Beth’s office and the boardroom he’d set up shop in when he worked here. Far enough away that he couldn’t hear Beth once she disappeared down the shadowy hallway that snaked around the perimeter of the second story.
