by Milly Taiden
“Given this is your ex-husband’s weekend, can I assume you’ll have some time?” The hope in his voice lowered by an octave to that inquisitive rumble in his chest I loved. Too bad I had to crush it.
“Usually, yes. But this weekend we had planned a long time ago. We’re going to a fundraiser for the kids’ school on Saturday night.”
Disappointment glazed over his eyes, but Adrian didn’t let that derail the good mood he was in. “I’ll have to call you afterwards then to make sure you go to sleep soundly.” He gently grazed my lips with his.
I recalled our evening of phone sex. The single thought coursed through me like some sort of an aphrodisiac, and I began feeling aroused just thinking about it.
“Actually, I was hoping you could stop by on Sunday after church. Maybe meet Dan?”
“You’re ready for that?”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be ready, but as much as I want to keep you stashed away all for myself, I can’t hide you for much longer.”
“I wasn’t aware you’ve had me locked up somewhere to be used at your disposal.” He grinned.
I chuckled. “As much as I wish I did, you know that’s not true.” I stepped up on my toes and touched my mouth to his.
“Hey, you can use me anytime you want to,” he said against my lips. “And I would love to come over on Sunday.”
All of a sudden our relationship felt that much more real. Not that it hadn’t before; it was just that officially introducing Adrian as my boyfriend (which sounded so odd to me because he was much more than that) was as close to tying ourselves to each other permanently as I thought we could. In a non-sexual way, that is. The lingering question was whether Adrian would be accepted with open arms by my ex-husband the way he had been by everyone else.
CHAPTER 15
“You look beautiful tonight.” Wearing his tux, Dan leaned against the door frame. It was already Saturday evening, and as much as I wanted to spend the time with Adrian, this fundraiser was important and something I’d committed to long ago.
“Thank you.” I regarded his confident posture and wide shoulders. Dan definitely fit the criterion of handsome men needed to raise the kind of money at the event we were going to tonight. When one of the organizers had called asking him to partake, I’d had no doubt he’d be one of the top prizes of the night.
“Need help with that?” He pointed to my hand, where I was holding my platinum necklace between my fingers. It was a birthday gift from a few years back and the most expensive piece of jewelry I owned. He’d bought it around the same time his real estate business was beginning to pick up, in our happier moments.
“Sure.” I turned around and lifted my hair to clear my neck.
His fingers were gentle, and I wondered whether he’d brushed my skin more tenderly on purpose before drawing his hands down my bare shoulders. We looked at each other in the hallway mirror. The reflection was one of us in the past when we had been a happy devoted couple. His gaze devoured me in that way that told me he loved the way I looked.
“It’s all for a good cause.” My voice quivered. I wasn’t used to dressing up for events like these, but tonight was important. Celia, one of the girls from our kids’ school, had been diagnosed with leukemia. The treatment bills had piled up for the family, who couldn’t afford the extensive care, and they were about to lose their home. The parent committee had organized this black-tie affair to raise money. They’d invited high-profile businessmen from the community to be auctioned off for a dance. Dan was among one of the prizes.
“Yeah, I know. If it were you standing on that stage tonight, I’d wager all my savings to have that one dance with you.”
“You can dance with me for free, Dan,” I said, feeling my cheeks drizzle with heat.
“But I can’t stand someone else dancing with you,” he growled in that low husky voice of his. The sound used to heat me to the core, but not anymore—perhaps because I wouldn’t allow it.
I lowered my head. There was no way I would encourage him. Our parental relationship was clear, and he knew I was dating someone else, but Dan liked to break the rules and cross that line I drew between us more often than I should have allowed—no matter what the consequence. Now that I was getting serious with Adrian, I had to find a way to make that line permanent and for Dan to accept it. If I could have, I’d have built a thick wall between us that would zap him with an electric shock the moment he had any lecherous thoughts about me.
“You’ve got those sinful moves that make a man crazy.” He spun me around and dipped me backward.
I laughed freely. Dan always loved to put on a show, but it seemed it was never for me but for an audience. His every move was meant to draw attention from the outside, and I preferred for those moments to be private, like now.
Aware that his gaze was remaining on my cleavage for longer than it should, I wiggled out of his hold and put on my coat.
“You don’t want me to bid on anyone else and miss the chance to raise the bids for Celia?”
“Of course I do. But there’s always the option of donating the money anyway.”
“You need to stop being jealous, Dan. If I bid on someone, I raise the asking price, and Celia gets more money. You’re in real estate; you know how it works.”
“I will never stop being jealous. You’re my…”
I knew he wanted to say my wife, but he stopped himself and I was grateful for that. The last thing I wanted tonight was for the two of us to be uncomfortable around each other—especially at an event that was meant to raise awareness about someone else.
“…my children’s mother.”
“And you will always be their father. That will never change. Okay, seriously. How much do you want me to bid for that dance with you?” I rolled my eyes. “You know I may not have enough money.”
“Then bid as much as you can.” He winked.
“Fine. But you know that this is for Celia, right?”
“Absolutely.”
“Christa, Jonathan!”
Christa ran downstairs, ramming into us, squeezing tightly around our legs, one arm on each. Jonathan wobbled on his crutches.
“Be good for Grandma,” I said.
“Are you guys going on a date?”
“No, honey, we’re going to a dance to raise money for Celia.”
“You look hot, Mom.”
“Like a bomb,” Dan said, giving Jonathan a high-five.
“Thank you, Christa.”
“Sexy,” she added.
“And you, young lady, shouldn’t be using words like sexy. We’ll see you in the morning.” I kissed them both before yelling toward the kitchen. “Mom, we’re leaving!”
“Have fun! Don’t drink and drive.”
My mother’s comment might as well have been a smack on the back of Dan’s head. He winced but didn’t say anything. We’d discussed tonight’s event and agreed to drive my car there so that we could take a cab back and pick it up the next day. I didn’t want to drive after a glass of wine, and I knew there was no way Dan was going to socialize without a screwdriver in his hand. But he had promised to take it easy. After all, this was a high-class event at which he’d be center of attention at one point.
Holding the door open, Dan took an extra whiff as I passed.
“Stop that,” I whispered.
“Sorry, it’s a habit.”
“Well, don’t let your other habits surface tonight.”
His face sobered.
“Out of respect to me, Dan.”
I didn’t mean to refer to his flirting ways so bluntly. He still hadn’t mentioned anything about his outing with Amanda, and I assumed it was only a business meeting. At least, that was what I wanted to believe. The last thing I wanted was to make him feel uncomfortable and force him to relax with a glass in his hand.
We could spend time together like civilized adults; we’d done it before. I hated bringing up the past that had torn us apart. Dan would feel guilty about it for the rest of his
life anyway. And although I’d forgiven him for what he’d done, I would never forget—and that was why we could not be together. I trusted wholeheartedly, but once someone crossed me, that trust evaporated like a drop of water in a desert.
The hall was decorated in tones of silver, black, and white. Fancy table settings with centerpieces that rose four feet high gave a jaw-dropping impression when we first walked in. White chair covers with monstrous bows at their back and linens with a touch of silver silk added to the elegance of the ballroom. Celia’s picture was set in front of each plate with a note thanking guests for their generosity. I’d been told the entire event had been sponsored by companies, and the family didn’t have to pay a dime. In a community this small, this meant almost everybody had come together to help Celia, which warmed my heart. I felt blessed living in this town.
We were guided to a table set for eight, where Isabelle and her husband Tyler were already seated. She waved toward us with enthusiasm, her eyes ready to pop out.
“You look hot!” she said.
“Thank you, so do you.” We hugged like the old friends that we were.
The men shook hands respectfully, so unlike their usual pats on the back and man-hugs. It seemed they were both nervous about tonight’s event, as they were both going to be auctioned off. Tyler was a police officer and he’d known Dan since the night he’d pulled him over for speeding. But since Dan could talk his way out of anything, and he’d found out Tyler was married to Isabelle, my best friend, the speeding ticket had miraculously disappeared.
“What is she doing here? Isn’t her kid in high school already?” I said under my breath when I saw Amanda. She even found the nerve to wave toward our table. I of course ignored her, and Dan simply nodded.
“Apparently the guy she’s doing has a girl in sixth grade,” Isabelle whispered. “And she brought a friend too.”
I noted the blonde bombshell sitting next to her, whose boobs were ready to pop out of her dress.
“Figures.” I set my purse on the table.
“Are you all right?” Dan asked. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know she’d be here.”
I should have known she would somehow weasel her way into an event just to ruin my night. Besides, she was one of the biggest cougars in town and wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to feast on male meat.
“It’s a public event. Don’t worry about it.” I lowered my hand onto his for reassurance. As much as I blamed my ex-husband for his affair, I knew he was trying to make amends, whereas Amanda insisted on making my life miserable.
“Listen, there’s something I need to tell you,” he said. “I don’t want you to freak out, but it wouldn’t surprise me if Amanda mentioned we met for lunch this week at Cambridge Mill to discuss a deal. It was purely business, but you know her—she likes to gloat for no reason.”
Yeah, I knew exactly how much she liked to twist that rusted knife in my ribcage. Nevertheless, I appreciated his honesty and was glad he brought it up before she slammed me with the news herself.
“Thanks for the warning.”
“Wanna grab a drink, buddy?” Tyler interrupted, pointing to the bar, and was immediately the victim of Isabelle’s icy stare.
“May as well get these dancing feet relaxed,” Dan answered, turning to me. “What are you having, Mia?”
Him being so attentive was definitely new. In the old days, Dan would have already stopped at the bar to pick up a drink before we even got to the table. So maybe this was improvement after all?
“Gin and tonic, please.”
Once Dan left, Isabelle was on my arm.
“So? What happened with Adrian?”
I filled her in on all the details from the past few weeks, minus the part where I came in his mouth under that waterfall and our phone sex chat. She sat there listening with her mouth open.
“I still can’t believe he’s here. He’s absolutely unbelievable. I can’t think around him, yet I’ve never felt so comfortable and amazing. He just makes me feel so at ease.”
“It sounds like you guys are moving fast.”
“Not fast enough.” My hand flew to cover my mouth.
“Haven’t done it yet?” Her eyes widened. “What are you waiting for?”
“It’s never the right time.”
“Welcome to the world of relationships with kids.” Isabelle rolled her eyes. While she made a joke about it, I knew that having children had been on the top of her list for years, but so far all the fertility treatments had failed. Before Christmas she and Tyler were going to try in vitro, and I prayed they’d get miraculous news for the holidays.
“And how is Dan dealing with the new man in your life?”
“He knows I’m seeing someone, but I haven’t had the chance to introduce them. I don’t even know if I should, but I asked Adrian to come over tomorrow. Is there some sort of a protocol I should follow when introducing my ex-husband to the other man in my life? I’m pretty sure Adrian’s staying here for good now, but I don’t want to rock the boat with Dan. I don’t want him to fall off the wagon.”
“Dan’s a big boy. He made his own bed. You couldn’t make him choose wisely then, and I don’t think it would work now either.”
“I know. It’s just weird. When I’m with Adrian, everything feels so perfect, except I have this other life with my kids—which Adrian is handling very well, by the way. I’m a busy woman and it’s hard to find the right amount of time for everyone.”
“Do you think that bothers him?” Isabelle’s gaze flew toward the bar where the guys were about to return to our table with the drinks.
“No, not at all. He’s very supportive and understanding. In fact, he helped with Jonathan when he broke his leg. He’s been amazing and the kids take well to him. Adrian always does what’s best for me and the kids, and he doesn’t even have to say it. I haven’t had anyone who cared for my needs more than his own in such a long time.”
“You make him sound like the perfect man.”
“He’s not perfect by any means,” I said. “And that’s what I love about him.”
“Wait, do you still love him?”
“I don’t think I ever stopped. It’s difficult to explain. Imagine if each time you saw Tyler it felt like the first time. That’s how I see Adrian. I’m still nervous around him and excited at the same time. Our little dates mean so much more than that. I feel like I’ve known him for decades, even if I haven’t. And I don’t want to make a mistake. I can’t lose him. Every time we’re together, I somehow think the planets and stars aligned just for us, just so that we could have this chance. And then we fly by too close to a black hole, and we’re interrupted. And then there’s Dan and Amanda. I swear she was put on this planet just to make my life a living hell.”
“You’re being too concerned about Dan, who, as you know, dates as well.”
“Please don’t tell me he’s dating her, because I saw them having lunch together this week. And believe me, nothing would make me happier than him finding that someone special in his life he could share everything with. I just don’t want it to be her. I’d rather he had one steady woman than a money-grabbing bimbo.”
“Again, you need to take a step back and not worry about Dan.”
“But he’s the father of my children.”
“No one’s denying that, Mia. He’ll be part of your life for a long time, but it doesn’t mean he should guide it. Plus, the kids understand what you’ve been through. They’re smart. I’m sure that with time they’ll accept Adrian as the new man in your life.”
“That makes me nervous. I mean, they like him, but…”
“They’re your kids.”
“They’re my everything.” I sighed. “I can’t make any decisions without thinking about them.”
“And you shouldn’t. That’s why you’re a wonderful mother.”
“Thanks, Iz. I’ve missed talking to you.”
“Take it one day at a time, and make sure you take your time and inspect everything Adrian h
as to offer.” Her brows rose suggestively. “In the meantime, let’s enjoy the party.”
We finished our conversation just in time, as Dan and Tyler returned to our table. I took a sip of my drink, then another. Within minutes the alcohol began swimming in my veins, for which I was thankful. I wasn’t a big drinker—in fact, I could count on my fingers how many drinks I’d had this year—but Dan made up in that department for both of us. Not that I thought of us as one anymore, but having him at home every other week, or more often, did reinforce our family unit—and I liked it that way. Our kids needed as much stability as possible.
The liquid settled unwarranted nerves, and I began enjoying the evening’s speeches and presentations. Once the second round of drinks made its way to us, I forgot about Amanda, who sat cross-legged on the other side of the room, the slit at the side of her dress coming close to her panties (if she was wearing any). Soon, the volunteers from various companies, including Dan, would go up on stage to be auctioned off for a first dance, with all the proceeds donated to Celia’s family.
Five hundred hard-earned dollars waited in my purse, put away specifically for this occasion. I’d been saving the moment I found about the event, wishing to do as much good with the money as possible.
“I’m going to use the bathroom before they start,” I whispered to Dan.
Isabelle turned to my side, whispering in my ear. “Isn’t that him? By the bar.”
My body whipped around all on its own. And there Adrian stood, wearing a perfectly cut tux, leaning against the bar, with that beautiful two-day stubble on his face.
Holy shit!
“It is him, isn’t it?” She leaned into my ear.
“Yes, it’s him.” My heart hammered. The room became hazy and I wasn’t sure whether it was from the alcohol or my suddenly spiked pulse. And I really hoped it wasn’t my syndrome. But those attacks only happened around doctors’ offices, hospitals and near open wounds. Why in the world did I feel like I was back in high school again? I was a grown woman and hadn’t done anything wrong. Yet sitting here with Dan at the table and Adrian in the same room felt awkward.
