by Milly Taiden
She wanted him. She couldn’t ever remember wanting someone so badly. Slipping her hands under his tee, she stroked the smooth expanse of his broad back, mapping the shifting muscles there. His hardness pressed into her stomach.
“Dammit, Liv, stop me,” he murmured against her lips. “I want to make love to you, right now.”
But she could only hold on, words clogging her throat, because she wanted it, too. Why not? She wasn’t a little girl and could sleep with a guy she fancied on her vacation, couldn’t she?
Just then a voice called her name, sounding oddly distant. “Liv!”
Oh crap. Kirsten. Yeah, she had a babysitter, it seemed.
Reluctantly Olivia drew back. “I’m here!”
Kai was breathing hard as he turned away. He folded his arms over his chest. “Fuck,” he muttered, and Olivia couldn’t agree more.
Kirsten hurried onto the pier, Markus at her back. “Liv, we were so worried, we looked for you everywhere.” Then she stopped in her tracks. “Ach Du Scheisse. I didn’t know you were not alone.”
“Sorry, guys.” Olivia swallowed a sigh. She was glad they were worried for her, but, man, the timing...
“You must be the hot and mysterious non-rebound guy,” Kirsten said with her usual subtlety.
Olivia’s face heated. “This is Kai.”
He shook his head, his dark hair falling in his eyes. “Hot and mysterious non-rebound guy?”
Olivia shrugged, her ears burning. “Pretty much covers it, huh?”
He put out his hand and Kirsten, then Markus shook it. “I’ll take it.” There was amusement in his voice and she dared look up.
Yep, he was smiling, his eyes laughing. Well, it was a flattering description, wasn’t it? And quite accurate, too.
“Did you guys have a good time today?” Markus was sizing Kai up, taking him in from head to toes. “Where did you take our friend?”
“Um.” Olivia got between them. Markus didn’t know Kai wasn’t fond of interrogation. “Why don’t we go grab a drink at the bar?” She glanced at Kai who had shuffled back, hands fisting at his sides.
“I think I’ll turn in,” he said. “It’s been a long day. A good day.” He gave her a barely-there smile. “But long nevertheless. I have to start work early tomorrow.”
“But the cafe doesn’t open until nine.” She didn’t want him to leave.
“I have to go to town and bring provisions before that, and before work I swim, so...” He nodded at Kirsten and Markus. “Nice meeting you.”
They watched him go up the beach, toward the road. Kirsten put a hand on Olivia’s shoulder.
“Tut mir leid,” she said. I’m sorry. “Ich wusste es nicht.”
“Of course you didn’t know.” She patted her friend’s hand, trying to inject some cheer into her voice. “Come on, let’s get a drink.”
They trudged up the beach to the brightly lit bar. Kai had melted into the night, and she tried to imagine him in his pickup, and then in his bed.
Which made her think of other things, and she hurried her steps. Not the time for this. “So what did you think of him?”
“Sexy,” Kirsten said. “And very mysterious.” She winked.
Olivia poked her in the side, and Kirsten poked back, tickling her. Markus joined in. They entered the bar breathless with laughter, and as she sipped her beer, Olivia realized she hadn’t yet heard Kai laugh, not once.
Panos had been right, and she sucked at her job.
Maybe it was time for her to try her tickle attack. It was cheating, sure, but Panos hadn’t specified how she was supposed to get Kai to laugh. Tickling worked on most people, and, hey, everyone had a chink in their armor.
*
Kirsten and Markus were going to the nearby town of Chania to visit the museums. Normally Olivia would have jumped at the chance to explore the past of the place, but she begged off. So she watched her friends amble off in the morning light to take the bus to town, and she sat on her balcony, staring at the sea, mobile phone in her hand.
She’d received another two messages from Justin during the night. She’d even discovered a missed call from him from the evening before. She couldn’t blow him off forever. Facing the past, and all that.
With a sigh, she dialed his number. He picked up on the second ring.
“Livvy?”
Should she worry she was disappointed it was Justin’s voice saying her name and not Kai’s? “Hi, Justin.”
“Why didn’t you call me earlier? I’ve sent you a thousand messages.”
“Actually it was only seven.” She rubbed a hand over her face. Calm down. “Sorry. Listen... I thought we were done.”
“How can we be done, so easily?” His voice was hard, laced with anger. “We had a fight, that’s all.”
“We broke up, Justin.”
“You did. Not me.”
What? “After the things you said to me, you thought we’d just make up?”
“I love you, Liv. That ring I gave you is a token of that.” He spoke as if reading lines from a script, and for a moment she wondered if he’d written down a speech in case she called.
Okay, maybe this was her anger talking.
“I’m sorry, Justin, about everything. I really am. But it’s over.”
Not giving him a chance to say more, she hung up. She was done. Justin would have to accept it. She thought of his ring in the sea. She thought of all the things she’d told Kai — not everything, true, but a big chunk of it — that she’d never told Justin. Justin had never asked if she was sad and why. Maybe he couldn’t imagine people carrying such heavy secrets.
Maybe it was her fault for not telling him, not letting him in. But how much guilt was she able to bear? Sometimes relationships didn’t work out.
She stood, looking down at the beach bar. People sat at the small tables, and kids ran about. Kai would be there, working. Images from the previous day flashed through her mind — the beach, the pool in the rocks, the cave. His eyes, his mouth, his hands on her skin.
She remembered the old woman feeding her cats in the village, shouting at him. ‘Navagio’. Where had she read that word?
She picked up her travel guide, leafed through the pages to the index. Navagio Beach.
It meant ‘wreck’. Wreck Beach. What was there?
Frowning, she went to put on her swimsuit. She ran the brush through her long hair and stared down at her bare toes. Maybe she should ask Panos again about Kai’s past, back him against the wall until he talked.
Maybe she should wait until Markus came back from town. With a hulking Viking as backup, Panos might crack. She had a feeling he wouldn’t, though.
And she wanted Kai to be the one to open up to her, tell her what was going on. Oh man. She put her brush down and pulled her hair up in a ponytail. She didn’t want to fall for Kai so fast, so hard. For the first time in her life, it was as if a beautiful current pulled her along and she didn’t want the ride to end.
Stop thinking about it. Live for today. You never knew what tomorrow might bring.
After the usual agony of deciding what to wear, she grabbed her novel, her towel and sun lotion and headed out. Panos wasn’t even there, so she couldn’t fish for information. He’d been replaced by a short and plump woman. She nodded when Olivia gave her the key and smiled when asked if she was Panos’ mother.
Did she even speak English?
The day was hot already, the sun beating down, heating the concrete. The sand entered her sandals as she walked down the beach, pinpricks of fire. She saw Kai from afar, taking an order at a table, but he didn’t see her and she continued to the water, not wanting to distract him.
Thoughtful, she took a deck chair and spread her towel, then took off her short dress and sandals, put on her goggles and dived into the cool water. She swam into the blue, not far this time, but letting the smooth strokes, the pleasant burning of the muscles in her arms and legs soothe her.
A wreck. Wrecked boats on a beach where an accid
ent had happened. Kai. Mistakes. He’d said he’d made mistakes.
Why did he think the sea might take him? Why did he seem so sad? Why had he come to live here, so far from home?
She turned back toward the beach, no closer to an answer than she was when she’d set out.
*
“Hi, Liv.” Kai stood at her table, notepad in hand, dark hair in his eyes as always. “What can I get you?”
“I’m thirsty. What do you recommend?”
He looked up, his lips pulling in a smile. “A kiss,” he whispered. “And a fresh lemonade.”
“In what order? Kiss or lemonade first?”
He glanced around at the remaining customers. “Lemonade, I guess.” He made a face that had her laughing.
“Okay then.”
“I’m off at four. That’s in,” he checked his watch, “one hour. Would you like to go for a swim somewhere?” His eyes were filled with colors again, and she had to shake herself to be able to think.
“Yeah, I’d love that.”
She watched him go, admiring the view from the back. Distracted yet again. Pulling out her novel, she struggled to lose herself in the world of vampires and zombies, but every time Kai entered her line of vision, she forgot what she’d been reading about.
He brought her the lemonade and she pretended to read until his shift was over. She thought the time would never pass, and then suddenly he was there, giving her an uncertain smile.
“So where are we going?” She grabbed her bag and he tugged it from her hand, shouldering it.
“What would you like to do?”
“You said something about swimming.”
“Then we’re going to a beach.” He winked. “As for the kiss you ordered...”
“I’m noticing a delay in service today.” She reached for his hand, and his fingers locked around hers.
“You wouldn’t want to rush a good thing.”
“Promises, promises.”
She didn’t get a laugh, but she got a wide smile, and it was damn beautiful.
He kept stealing glances at her as he drove to a small beach bordered with pine trees, an ice-cream truck parked at the top. A couple were roasting themselves on beach towels, and a man with a fishing rod stood on the rocks. The sun had started its descent toward the west and the shadows were lengthening already.
He stopped the pickup. “You like it?”
“It’s perfect.” Smiling, she opened the door and jumped out. “Race you to the water!” She ran down the sandy stretch, hearing him curse behind her. Laughing breathlessly, she wriggled out of her dress and toed off her sandals as he pounded after her. “Last one will have to answer a question,” she shouted, running toward the water.
“Deal,” he said right next to her ear and then he was plunging into the sea, diving like a dolphin.
Oh crap. She’d been had.
Shaking her head, she splashed after him. She dived under, closing her eyes, then surfaced, wiping water off her face. She looked around. Where was Kai?
Something touched her leg and she squealed. Heart pounding painfully, she twisted and gathered her legs under her, trying to see. It couldn’t be...
Kai grabbed her around the waist and pulled her against his chest. “Finders keepers,” he whispered in her ear.
“Kai, you idiot.” She was giggling and couldn’t stop.
“Yes, but I’m your idiot,” he intoned solemnly and nuzzled her neck.
Suddenly she was very aware of his muscled arms around her, his chest against her back. A fire started in her belly and her eyes fluttered closed. “Kai...”
“I believe you ordered a kiss,” he said softly, turning her around, the cool water flowing around their bodies as he gathered her in his arms. “Unless you’ve changed your mind.”
“No,” she whispered, trembling and not knowing why she felt his presence in her bones, in her heart, her mind, like he belonged there. She wound her arms around his neck and wrapped a leg around his. “I want it.”
With a soft groan he bent to kiss her, tasting her deeply. She kissed him back fiercely, her desire so intense it frightened her, the feel of his sleek chest against her breasts delicious, maddening through the thin material of her bikini top.
His arms tightened around her. His hands splayed on her hips, then moved lower to cup her backside, grinding her against his hard-on. With a gasp, she slid against him, seeking more friction. Her blood was on fire.
A wave washed over them and they pulled apart. She spat water, laughing. “What, touching not allowed, sea goddess?”
He glanced wildly around, as if expecting to see someone, his shoulders tensing.
“What is it?” She grabbed his arm. “Kai?”
“Nothing. I...” He shook his head like a dog, spraying her with water. “Dammit, cold water doesn’t work anymore.” He put a finger on her lips, tracing them. “I’m afraid my body is quite out of control, Your Honor.”
She smiled against his finger. “What are we going to do about it?”
He sucked a sharp breath. “I’ll drag you out and maul you on the sand,” he growled.
“Need to catch me first.” She dived under, swimming fast.
Not fast enough. He swam under her, grabbing her shoulders and pulling her up. They surfaced together.
She blinked her eyes open. “Damn.”
“She swears.” He grinned. “Why do you swim blind?”
“Contact lenses.”
“Close your eyes.” He gave one of his faint smiles. “I’ll do the driving.”
“How...?”
“Or rather the towing.” Putting an arm under her legs, he lifted her until she lay on the surface of the water, floating. Then he tugged on her arm and started to swim, pulling her along. “Close your eyes,” he said again, softly.
The sky rolled with cotton wool clouds. She shut her eyes. She smelled his musk mingled with the salty tang of the sea, felt the swaying of her body, carried on the waves like a leaf, the wind whispering, sending sprays of droplets on her face. Seagulls cried above, and the sea groaned and moaned, rolling under her.
“Kai.” She opened her eyes, her throat tight with fear. She splashed, panicking.
“What is it?” He grabbed her flailing arms and slipped closer.
“Hold me.” She didn’t know how to put that fear into words — as if the sea wanted something, as if it were a huge animal coiling around them.
He hugged her, spinning slowly in the water, his steady heartbeat reverberating through her, calming her.
“Everything’s okay,” he murmured.
“I don’t like this sea.” She was babbling like a crazy woman. “I don’t like it.”
“She’s a bitch,” he agreed, kissing her shoulder. “But I won’t let her have you. You’re safe.”
And what about you? she wanted to shout at him. Will she have you?
*
“I’ve never been afraid of the sea before.” Olivia tossed pebbles into the water, shivering. “I’ve swum in the ocean and wasn’t afraid. This is just a big land-bound lake. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
He sat, one leg pulled to his chest, staring at the blue horizon. “It’s this place. It was inhabited from the dawn of the world. The Phoenicians and Philistines built here temples to Atargatis, the fish goddess.”
“You sure know a lot about history for someone who doesn’t read.”
He shook his head. “I used to read.”
“What changed?”
“Many things.”
“Why did you leave New Jersey?”
“I didn’t. I lived in New York City.”
“But you said—”
“I said I come from New Jersey. I went to school and college in New York.”
“So why did you—?”
“Uh uh.” He nudged her in the arm. “I’m the one who has the right to ask. According to your words, the last one in the water has to answer questions.”
“A question,” she said. “On
e question.”
“But with honesty and without holding back.”
Had she said that? “Wait a minute...”
He lifted his hand, tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I just want to know what makes you sad.”
Oh fucking hell. “I don’t know...”
“If you tell me, I’ll cook you dinner.” She gaped at him and he grinned. “Is that a yes?”
“Listen, Kai...” She pressed the heel of her hand between her brows. Hell, why not tell him? She’d wanted him to ask more even as she’d dreaded it, had wished to unburden herself. Make a confession. But... “I don’t want to saddle you with this. It’s my shit, not yours.”
“I’m good at carrying shit around.” He winked.
Not funny. Was he talking about the heavy boxes at the hotel or his own issues? It didn’t matter. He’d asked and seemed to genuinely want to help.
She closed her fingers around her pendant, feeling its coolness. “I fucked up. I failed my best friend, and that means I failed my favorite person in the world.”
“What happened?”
“She’d been sad. Depressed. I knew her parents were fighting, but hell, mine aren’t always honey dovey. She had a row with her boyfriend, but when I asked if she was okay, she said yes. I thought I was a good friend. Always went out with her, went shopping with her, met her after classes. We never talked about the boyfriend, or her parents.”
“You asked her, though, and—”
“Not about the important stuff. Never saw how sad she was, how fed up with life.” That downward spiral, sucking Andria in. “How could I not notice she was depressed? It wasn’t until later I found out she took antidepressants and sedatives. That she kept a diary where she talked about ending her life.” She had to stop because tears burned behind her eyes and her throat was closing up.
He slipped an arm around her, so she could lean her head on his sun-kissed shoulder. Its warmth was soothing.
“And then?” he whispered.
“They found her. A cocktail of all the pills she was prescribed, an overdose. Her heart gave out.”
