by Milly Taiden
Some nights were made for forgetting. So she nodded, clutching his arms, holding on tight.
*
They drove back to the hotel in silence and parked in Kai’s customary place. Kirsten and Markus thanked Kai and kissed Olivia goodnight. It was a subdued conclusion to the evening. Kirsten was still wobbly on her feet and Markus guided her to the hotel entrance, stealing glances over his shoulder at Olivia, clearly not happy with leaving her there. He’d obviously liked Kai, but was against her spending more time with him.
Tough.
She waved goodbye and turned toward Kai. He caught her hand, studying it, his gaze traveling up, following every curve, heating her skin like a physical caress.
“My place?” he whispered and she nodded, letting him lead her up the path to his cabin. She wanted to sink into his world, to see what he saw and feel what he felt.
The sea boomed on the rocks below. The door creaked when he pushed it open. He released her to light the lamp and a breeze fluttered the old nets hanging over the windows. A gecko slithered up a wall, a pale streak.
Kai reached behind his head, pulling off his t-shirt, and the light picked out the muscles playing across his back. He toed off his shoes and turning gave her a sidelong glance.
She bent to undo the clasps of her sandals and stepped out of them, toes curling in the fine sand of the floor. So this was it. She’d stand naked in front of him and she was nervous, self-conscious as hell. She took a step toward him and stopped, wiping her hands on her short dress.
Ridiculous, Liv. It’s not like it’s your first time. And you did make him come this morning.
This wasn’t helping. Heat rushed up her face and it was suddenly difficult to breathe.
He looked delicious, the muscles of his bare chest perfectly defined, his swimmer’s shoulders well-padded. His dark hair stood in unruly spikes around his handsome face.
“Liv.” He came to her, lifting a hand to her cheek, his eyes turning to dusky amber in the lamplight. His thumb ran from her temple to her chin, leaving burning imprints behind. He traced the line of her throat, slid his fingers under the halterneck straps and stroked the sensitive spot on her nape.
Her head fell back and he bent, kissing the arch of her throat. Pleasure rushed through her, making her light-headed. She gripped his forearms, afraid she might fall, and he pulled her up, crushing her to his chest.
“God, you’re so beautiful,” he whispered and her worry melted away. He walked her backward to the bed, his mouth hovering over hers, and he lowered her on the hard mattress. “I couldn’t believe my eyes when I first saw you. Can’t believe them now.”
She stared up into his dark eyes and felt herself melt. She ran her hands over his chest, following every contour, feeling his heart thump under his ribs. Then she reached for his belt and undid the clasp, touching the lines of his hips.
His breath gusted out and he leaned closer, his hands moving to the knot behind her neck. He tugged lightly. “Can I?” he whispered, his voice hoarse.
She nodded and he pulled at it, pulling down her dress, lingering over her bikini top. Then he dragged the straps off her shoulders, kissing her skin. His hands wormed under her back, undoing that clasp, peeling her top off, his face rapt like that of a child unwrapping a present. His hands moved over her, cupping her breasts, trailing fire down her belly. He tugged her dress off.
Dressed only in her bikini panties, she shivered. Not cold. She was too warm all over.
Kai sat up, his tousled hair streaked with gold in the flickering light, his torso a shifting landscape of planes and ridges, his eyes narrowing in concentration when he tugged her panties down and all the way off.
Now she was bared to his hot gaze, laid out on the bed, and he blew out a soft whistle. “Are you real?” he whispered and touched her, mapping her body with his fingers, then his lips, stealing her breath.
She arched and clung to him, begged him not to stop, and he didn’t, licking and kissing.
“You’re salty,” he murmured and she chuckled. She still had the sea on her, but the sea couldn’t have him now. He was with her.
“I bet you’re salty, too,” she whispered and licked his mouth, tasting and wanting more. “And overdressed.”
“You said not to stop.”
She pushed at him and he straightened, his eyes uncertain. When she started undoing the buttons of his shorts, he helped, making quick work of them, then wriggled out of them, and out of his swim trunks.
She blinked. God, he was so beautiful, and he obviously wanted her — a lot. “I, um...” Where were all the words now? She was speechless.
He looked down at himself, then up at her face, frowning. “Liv? Is this okay?”
She nodded, biting her lip. “Perfect,” she whispered. “You’re perfect.”
Still looking at her, as if trying to read her face, he fumbled at something on the window sill over the bed. He lifted a small package. A condom. He tore the foil with his teeth and pulled it on. She couldn’t tear her eyes off him.
“I bought a package yesterday morning. Just in case, you know... Liv?”
Uncertainty returned to his gaze and it undid a knot in her chest. She pulled him down, until he was stretched over her. He groaned, shifting, his length sliding on her stomach. “Oh god.”
She whole-heartedly agreed but speech had deserted her again. He felt wickedly good, pressed against her, but she needed more. She reached up, brushed silken hair out of his eyes, and kissed him.
He responded fiercely, devouring her mouth, one hand braced by her head, the other stroking her, igniting her all over again. God, he tasted like nothing else in the world, salt and sugar, caramel and bitter almond. Her body hummed with pleasure, her head swam, and still she couldn’t stop kissing him, her fingertips running over the rough stubble of his jaw.
He shifted again, his hand slipping between them, and he pushed into her like a warm wave. She gasped in his mouth, raising her hips, and he pushed harder, groaning. The thick muscles of his thighs moved between her legs and she raked her nails lightly down his back.
He lifted his head, his lips parted, his eyes closing. The lamplight gilded his cheekbones, his long lashes, the corded tendons of his neck. Blue seemed to shimmer down his arms, ripples like sunlight refracting through water. He whispered something that might have been her name and began to move, rolling inside her like the sea.
It felt good, so damn good, and yet it wasn’t enough. She wrapped a leg around his, shifting closer, making him gasp out loud. Jagged shadows fell on his face, on his soft lips. Sweat rolled in glistening paths down his chest, muscles standing out in stark relief on his arms and stomach. His breathing quickened as he moved faster, his arms trembling on either side of her.
Pleasure crashed into her, rising higher and higher, until her eyes rolled back and she arched her neck, her hands gripping his shoulders. She cried out, shaking, as time snapped and hurtled her into the void. She tumbled, pleasure zipping along her nerves, electric aftershocks jolting her, as Kai hissed, his head bowed. His lips pulling back in a grimace, he rocked into her one last time, his whole body vibrating, and he stilled, panting hard.
“Holy shit,” he whispered and laid himself on top of her, elbows planted on either side of her head, supporting his weight. He nipped at her lips, kissed her, then rolled off and stretched by her side. “That was...” He gave a breathless laugh and she smiled.
“Mind-blowing?” she provided, winking.
“Mind-blowing, yeah. Fucking beautiful.” He blinked at her, stroked a fingertip down her throat. His chocolate eyes were somber. “You are that.”
She snuggled closer until their noses almost touched, his arm curling around her. “I like being with you.” I love your body, your voice, your taste, your smile, I love so much about you. Don’t let the sea have you.
Kai’s eyes were hooded, his breathing slowing. He was falling asleep. “I’d sell my soul to stay with you,” he whispered.
*
She was alone in the hut.
Throwing off the sheets, she swung her legs off the bed and stared at her bare legs. She was naked, and the realization brought back in a rush the memories of the previous night.
The taverna over the aqueduct. Kai fleeing something her friends had said. The drive back. The sex.
She grinned down at her toes. He thought she was beautiful, and he was... gorgeous didn’t begin to describe him. Hot and sexy. Cute. And also nice. Considerate. Fun.
Raking her fingers through her salt-stiffened hair, she got up to gather her clothes. He was everything she thought he might be, and she wanted to know more. She paused as she put on her bikini. What was he hiding? What was his secret?
Panos said it hadn’t been his fault, but what did that mean? What exactly had happened?
She pulled on her dress and stood at the door, looking down at the choppy sea. She thought she saw Kai swimming out in the open, but wasn’t sure. Shaking her head, she returned indoors. A note on the rickety table caught her eye.
‘Didn’t want to wake you up. I’ve gone swimming. Kai.’
She could wait for him down on the rocks. She pulled her hair back in a ponytail and sat on the bed to put on her sandals.
Something lay under the bed. A book. Its cover was a faded green, its pages dog-eared. When she picked it up, it had no dust or sand on it. As if someone read it often.
‘Myra Crow. Poems.’
She leafed through it. No notes in the margins. This wasn’t a student’s book. Besides, what had Kai said his major was? Architecture? What a coincidence that he seemed to be so fond of Markus’s favorite poet.
Or was it because of the place? Markus said Myra Crow had died in Crete.
Had drowned, in fact, in the area.
Cold sweat trickled down Olivia’s back. She turned the book over. On the back, there was a picture of a young woman with a mop of dark hair. She was smiling, a sweet, faint smile. A short biography was printed below.
A great voice of her generation. Born in Massachusetts. English professor. Lived on Crete for a while. Taught in several universities. Lyrical poet with dark themes.
Olivia’s attention returned to the photo. She traced a fingertip over Myra Crow. Her smile. There was something familiar about it, something nagging at Olivia’s memory. And those dark brows, straight like pencil strokes.
Who did she remind her of?
“Why did you live on Crete?” Olivia whispered. “Why would an English professor want to live here?” Was there a university in the region? It was a beautiful place, but not the best place to advance one’s academic career.
Olivia turned to the first page. Poems. A collection of my youth. Printed in New York. She didn’t know the publisher.
She flipped the page and froze. Printed on top of the page was the dedication.
‘To my son Kyler.’
And below, in faint, looping letters was inked: ‘My sunshine boy, don’t let the sea take you. Love you, always. Mom.’
*
Olivia left the book where she’d found it and scrawled a note below Kai’s, letting him know she was heading back to the hotel to shower and change.
Sand blew, stinging her shins as she walked down the path. She stared down at her feet, not really seeing anything, her mind a whirlwind. It threw scraps of memories at her — Kai who didn’t want to read, who paled when she told him she studied English literature, and had a panic attack when Markus mentioned Myra Crow. Or was it when Kirsten had quoted that bit about his father — what was it? Being at the bottom of the sea?
‘An accident,’ Panos had said. ‘The sea can’t take him. He’s of the sea.’
Jesus, what had happened?
Panos was there, behind the desk, when she entered the hotel. He looked up, his bushy brows drawing together.
“Good morning,” he said, eyeing her outfit. “Go swim, like Kai? Storm today.”
“Is it dangerous?”
“Not for Kai.”
She nodded, her thoughts still swirling like blood down a drain. Right.
“Make him laugh again?” Panos gave her a hopeful look.
She had to think about that. Yesterday seemed like years ago. “Yes.” She remembered tickling Kai at the beach, playing in the waves. “Yes, I did.”
“Good.” Panos nodded and held out her key. “Good.”
She took it, clutching it so tight its ridges burned into her palm. “Thanks.”
“Are you okay?” Panos leaned forward, his big hands flat on the desk.
“I’m worried,” she confessed, not even knowing why she did it. “About Kai.”
“He swim good. Winter, storm. No problem. Is the curse.” Panos shrugged. “Breathe in water, like fish.”
Yeah, funny. “He’s human, Panos. He can die in a storm just like everyone else. Hell, boats are made to float and they sink sometimes. How would he survive it?” Fear clenched her insides. “Maybe we should go look for him.”
“No.” Panos gave a grave shake of his head. “Boat sink, Kai survive. Everyone die in storm. He swim.”
Okay, rewind. “He was on a boat that sank?”
“Accident,” Panos said, suddenly looking uncomfortable. “Many years ago.”
Oh god. There it was. “Myra Crow,” Olivia whispered. “Kai’s mother.”
“He tell you.” Panos rubbed his eyes. “Yes. He lose everything. Almost go crazy.” He blinked. “Now you understand.”
Understand what? Kai had survived a wreckage that had killed his mother. Talk about a traumatic experience.
“Why did he come back?”
“I tell him,” Panos said. “Young. Should go study, have life. He live like a wild man, in hut, in sea.” He gestured at her pendant. “You have magic. Tell him.”
“What about his father?” She was still clutching the key. “Where is he?”
Panos took a step back from the desk, eyes narrowed. “He not tell you everything.”
An understatement. Cold dread gripped her. “Panos?”
“Father, mother, friends. Gone. He lose everything to the sea.” Shaking his head, Panos turned and hurried away.
*
Olivia took a long shower, scrubbing the sand off her body. She couldn’t stop thinking about Kai, his smile, his dark eyes, the pain that often haunted them.
He’d been on that boat. He’s survived and was blamed by everyone for that — or rather, because they thought he was a weird fish creature, something not human.
He hadn’t needed their prompting to believe it. He thought he was to blame. And he offered himself to the sea like a sacrifice every day.
Don’t let the sea take you. My sunshine boy.
The shampoo stung her eyes. She stepped out of the shower stall and wrapped a towel around her. The mirror was fogged over. She wiped a swath with her hand and stared at her red-rimmed eyes.
Oh god, Kai, I’m so sorry this happened to you.
What was she going to do now? How was she going to act? Kai hadn’t been the one to tell her. He didn’t know she knew, and that made her want to hide. Wouldn’t he take one look at her face and realize she knew?
She’d never had a good poker face, and he somehow saw through her every single time, seemed to read her thoughts.
She couldn’t think. Coffee. She needed caffeine for her sluggish brain to engage. She got dressed quickly, pulled up her hair and knocked on Kirsten’s and Markus’s door.
Kirsten took one look at her and drew her inside. “What happened?” she hissed.
Yeah, no poker face. “Nothing. I just...” Her eyes stung again.
“Did he hurt you?” Markus was suddenly there, looming behind Kirsten, looking furious. “This Kai.”
“No! He didn’t. Not at all.” Pull yourself together, Liv. “I just came to see if you guys want to grab some b
reakfast and I...”
Kirsten tugged on Olivia’s hand, her eyes concerned, and it was too much. Olivia opened her mouth to say she needed coffee and it all poured out — the discovery she’d made, Kai’s past, Panos’s words.
“Poor boy,” Kirsten whispered, pulling her to sit by her side on the bed, slinging an arm over Olivia’s shoulders, as if she was the one in need of comfort and not Kai. “What a terrible thing to happen to someone.”
“Myra Crow’s son.” Markus shook his head, looking dazed. “I can’t believe it. I mean, I knew she died in this area, but to think all this time we were talking and having drinks with her son...”
“So his name is Kyler. He lost his family here.” Kirsten squeezed Olivia’s hand. “And he’s here because he can’t forgive himself for what happened.”
Kirsten had always been good at summarizing things. Olivia pulled her hand away. That was why Kai had come back — to pay.
And what could she do? In a few days she was leaving, returning to college and her friends. He was staying here. He’d made it clear. ‘I live here.’ He’d said it over and over again. Should she stand by and watch him try to die every day? It made her chest so tight she could barely breathe.
She would fail him, like she’d fail Andria. He wasn’t paying attention to Panos or anyone else, obviously, asking him to stop. He was on a suicidal mission and she was just a passing ray in his darkness. She didn’t know if she could stand by and watch him drown.
Why was she doing this to herself when she was still trying to rise from the deep herself? He wouldn’t listen to his family, so why would he listen to her? He barely knew her, and she was leaving. Why had she come to care for the one person she couldn’t help?
“Oh Liv.” Kirsten put her hands on Olivia’s cheeks and it was only then she realized tears were leaking from her eyes. “This isn’t your battle. You can’t let this bring you down. He’ll be all right.”
Would he?
