by Milly Taiden
“I can’t be anything more to you, Jet.” I couldn’t tell him the truth, that I was terrified of him, of what he did to me. A single kiss, a few touches, and I was ready to pretend like he hadn’t done anything stupid. And I refused to be a woman whose middle name was doormat.
He let me down, my body sliding against his with an acute awareness I struggled to breathe past.
His tongue darted out, licked his lips, and I couldn’t help but follow the movement with my eyes.
“Spitfire,” he said, his voice soft. “Take care of yourself. Okay? And if you ever need me.” He slipped me a card, then stepped back, hands trailing down my arms to my hands, sliding across my fingers until just the tips were touching, and then . . . nothing.
I was crying freely now, clutching his card, but maybe in the dim light he wouldn’t be able to see. No, he lifted his right hand and traced the path of one tear down my cheek. Said nothing more, turned and walked away.
Eyes burning, I found my way back into the bar, blindly grabbed Lily, waved to Hugh and forced us both out the front door.
We walked down the street to where we’d parked Lily’s Honda.
“Did he hurt you?”
“Lily, stop it!” I couldn’t take this anymore. “He didn’t hurt me, I hurt me. I pushed him away because I was afraid, I’m always too damn afraid. Even when I say I’m not. What if I end up like . . . ”
She stared up at me, blue eyes flooding with understanding. Her tone was bitter, her lips twisted into a frown. “What if you end up like me? Not telling Ryan, having him die before I could tell him I loved him?”
I nodded. “What would you have done? If you knew he was going to die, would you have told him sooner? So you could have had at least that time with him?”
Her chest shuddered with a half-hitched unsung sob. “Yes. A hundred times, yes. But I didn’t. What does that have to do with this?”
“Jet is my Ryan, Lily. I love him. But I can’t tell him because I’m afraid he’ll tell me he doesn’t love me, that I was just a game. Just for fun. And then there’s the reality of his job. He’s a goddamn stuntman! His life is always on the line . . . what if he died tomorrow?”
She put a hand on my arm. “Jasmin, I knew Ryan for years. You’ve only known Jet for a week; it isn’t the same. This is some sort of crazy infatuation, a need to rebel and play with the bad boy. It isn’t the same as me and Ryan.”
Her words stung, like a sharp slap on wet skin.
Lily shifted in her seat. “Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”
I hung my head and wrapped my arms around her, feeling the cool night air on my hot cheeks. “I could barely admit it to myself, let alone anyone else.”
“Maybe you just need to get him out of your system. Like a one night stand, and then you can say you’ve had your fun with him.”
My jaw dropped and I stared at her, sure that she’d lost her mind. “Are you serious?”
She shrugged. “Why not? I’m telling you, he isn’t your Ryan. He isn’t. But if you really feel like you love him, you should follow it through. Just know that he’s going to dump you two days into it.”
We sat there, staring at each other. Was she right? If I thought I had a chance at something real with Jet, would I look past what had happened in Mexico?
There was only one way to find out.
“All right. I’ll do it.” I stared out the window, my heart racing at just the thought of what I was about to do.
“Do what?”
“You think he’ll dump me in two days, and maybe I do too. But the only way to find out is if I actually give him a chance.”
Lily shook her head. “You’re as crazy as he is.”
I turned to her, swiveling in my seat. “Will you help me? It might take us a week to set it up, but will you help me?”
“God help us both, yes, I’ll help you.”
16
Jet
The apartment was dim and I lay in the semi darkness with an arm flung over my face. What the hell was I supposed to do now? Any other girl, I would have already moved on, I would have found a way past her brilliant green eyes and the feel of her skin under my hands.
Another week had passed by, a week of no work, no distractions. I’d avoided drinking and the clubs I’d frequented in the past. Why? Because if on the off chance I had a shot with Jasmin, I didn’t want to fuck it up. Again.
But she hadn’t called, hadn’t even sent me a text. Nothing. Maybe I should have stayed . . . I’d been back to the bar and listened to her sing on the next open night. Her voice was stunningly pure, and it wrapped around me, tying me up in knots. But I hadn’t let her see me, had stayed back and let her do her thing without me interfering. She’d looked good, happy—both without me. She’d seen me at the very end of her set, gave me a smile and a wave, and then had disappeared out the door, almost as if she’d been running from me.
Jasmin had lost everything because of me, and she didn’t even seem mad. That was not normal for anyone, let alone when I compared her to the women I’d known. They would have flailed my skin from my hide and hung me over the freeway to let the birds peck me. If they were feeling kind.
Jasmin? She just took it in stride, let the bad shit shift her world around and used it to change. The taste of her tears on my lips and tongue haunted me, woke me up at night, and left me aching for her.
The buzz of someone beckoning me to let them into my apartment pulled me from the couch. I hit the button. “Who is it?”
“Who do you think it is, douche bag?”
I hit the button, let it buzz long enough for Jasper to let himself in. I’d forgotten he was coming back for a quick stint here in Hollywood. He banged through the apartment door, dropped two bags with dual thunks. “Thanks for the help, bro.”
“Whatever. Food’s in the fridge, you can use the guest room.” I pointed in the general direction of the kitchen and the bedroom, went back to the couch.
“You still moping after green eyes?”
I groaned. “I’m a fucking idiot.”
“Could have told you that years ago. You just figure it out?”
The recliner creaked as he sat beside me. I rolled so my back was to him.
He gave a low laugh. “You’re actually pretty terrible with women, aren’t you?”
“Shut the fuck up,” I grumbled.
“Flowers, did you try that?”
I spoke into the broken down couch. “Flowers ain’t going to fix this. She lost her job because of me, had to sell her dead brother’s car, I beat Reggie’s ass to a pulp in front of her, accused her of not being loyal.”
“So make the things right that you can.” He said it like it would be just that easy. Like I could make it all better. I rolled to face him. “Just like that?”
He leaned back in the recliner. “Shit, I can’t solve all your problems for you.”
I sat up and reached for my phone, hope sparking in me. Within minutes I had the manager of Wild Child on the phone. While Jasper smirked at me, I made my way to my bedroom, shut the door behind me.
“Kevin McCall here.”
“Kevin, this is Jet Sterling. You sent one of your photographers to me in Mexico.”
He cleared his throat. “She’s no longer with us. I’m sorry for any inconvenience her behavior may have caused you. I assure you that any other photographers we send will be far more professional than her.”
“No, I think perhaps there’s been a misunderstanding. She never stepped over any boundaries. She made it clear from the beginning that her job hinged on the fact that I . . . behave myself.” My turn to clear my throat. “I pushed those boundaries and she never backed down.”
He was quiet a moment. “You telling me you didn’t sleep with her?”
God, I felt like I was talking to her father. “No. I didn’t. Not that I wouldn’t have if she’d given me the go ahead, but she didn’t.”
“I have pictures of the two of you that are more than heated.”
Another spell of silence. “You think I dismissed her wrongly?”
“I think she’s a talented photographer, I’ve seen some of her work.”
“Mr. Sterling, thank you for the phone call. I’ll take what you’ve said into consideration.”
The phone clicked off. One down, one to go.
* * * * *
The ‘69 Falcon hadn’t taken me long to trace, but the owner wouldn’t sell it. To be fair, I tried everything—money, movie premiere passes, even a meet and greet with actors I knew. Nothing worked. The guy wouldn’t budge.
Shit.
I tried telling him the truth about why the car got sold, that it was my fault. He laughed his ass off and that’s when we got into it. Okay, I didn’t slug him, but I wanted to. So I had to settle for a good old fashioned screaming match and flipping the guy the bird as I drove away. That sure as hell wasn’t going to help me convince him to sell the car.
There was only one last thing I could try. An ace that was not up my sleeve, but the only card left that I hadn’t tried to play.
Lily.
Hugh had managed to get her number, though she ignored his repeated phone calls, much to his displeasure.
But before I could ring her, I got text from . . . Lily?
What the hell?
I need to talk to u. About Jasmin. Meet me at my work in 30min.
I texted her back.
Is she OK?
There was a good minute before she answered, long enough for me to start to sweat.
She’s OK. Kinda.
I had no idea what was going on, and the only way to find out would be to go and talk to Lily, which was what I’d wanted, but now I was nervous.
Lily texted me the address of her work, a themed diner next to the Roxy.
Moving fast, I yanked on a pair of jeans, Jasper moving to stand in my way.
“Hey, you do realize that you’re all tied up in knots over a girl who doesn’t even want you, right?”
I growled at him. “Jasper, this is not the time, get outtalk my way.”
“I’ve got to see this for myself,” he mumbled, following me out the door.
I made it to the diner in record time. Hugh and I had eaten here once, and I vaguely remembered it being Elvis night at the time.
Lily was waiting for me in a back booth.
“Come on, Romeo. Let’s see what you’ve got to say for yourself.” Her eyes flicked up to Jasper, widening perceptibly. “Boy, they make ‘em big in Hollywood.”
She shook herself, but more than once in the next few seconds her eyes slid back to Jasper, who was doing his own inspection of Jasmin’s pretty blond friend.
Lily seemed to pull herself together. “There isn’t much you can do, you know.”
“What do you mean?”
She put both hands on the tabletop, palms up. “Jasmin has lost too much. You hurt her, and I think that was the final straw. She gets hit on constantly at the bar, at the clubs, at work.” My blood pressure rose as she spoke. She waved her hand at me. “She doesn’t see any of them. So maybe she’s as hung up on you as you are on her. Maybe it needs to just play itself out . . . .”
Jasper was nodding. “That’s a good idea. Like send them back to Mexico to finish what they started. Let it burn itself out of them.”
Lily gave him a half smile. “That wasn’t quite what I meant, but yeah, maybe you’re right. If the sex isn’t there, what have they got in common?”
They were discussing me and Jasmin like an old married couple would discuss a younger couple who weren’t wise to the world. Who were gaga in love and not seeing all the obstacles they faced.
Jasper drummed the table with his fingers. “Exactly. They’re all hot and bothered, let them burn it off. Like a weekend should do it, right?” He looked at me and I stared at him, my mouth dropping open.
“Who the fuck are you, and what have you done with my brother?”
Lily reached across the table and touched my arm. “That’s the answer though, isn’t it? Just get each other out of your system. I mean, we could just do a house swap. I could stay at your place, and you and Jasmin could have our place. For two days tops. I don’t think you’ll last any longer. I wouldn’t normally think this was a good idea, but desperate times and all that.” She smiled, a big somehow sad grin, then looked at Jasper and he again nodded, his eyes thoughtful.
“That would work. I’m gone by Monday night, so you would only have to put up with me for a day and a half,” he said.
Lily’s eyes widened and the soft flush of color along the tops of her cheeks. “Oh, I didn’t realize I’d be sharing with you.”
Jasper rolled his shoulders. “I’m pretty quiet, you won’t even know I’m there.”
I leaned back in my seat, the hard plastic creaking loudly under me. “Wait a minute, how are you going to explain this ‘house swap’ to her exactly?”
“Oh, that’s easy,” Lily said. “I’m going to have to go back to Seattle for something. We don’t live in the best of neighborhoods and I don’t want her to be left alone. You happened to come into the diner and overheard that I was going out of town with no one to stay with Jasmin, and you pled your case. Besides, I don’t think she’ll ask too many questions.”
My eyes narrowed. “Where do you live that she would need to not be alone for a weekend?”
She told us, and Jasper and I exploded at the same time. She waved us off. “Stop it, both of you. The two of us have been just fine all this time without any help from a couple of big strong men.” She rifled in her purse, pulled out a pen and a piece of paper. “Here’s our address. I’m going home. You’re going to show up in about three hours.”
We all stood to leave and Jasper headed out first. I touched Lily’s arm, grasping her elbow lightly. “Lily, why are you really helping me? A few days ago you would have scratched my eyes out if given the chance, and now you’re setting me up with her, practically throwing her naked at me.”
She took a huge breath and blew it out in a rush. “You are going to hurt her either way. At least this way, it’s over and done with, and she can get on with her life.”
“Just that simple?”
Her blue eyes watered up and I froze. Crying females, they all scared the bejeesus out of me. She must have caught my panic because she laughed softly, a bitter laugh that sounded far too old for her.
“Yeah, just that simple.”
* * * * *
They lived on the outskirts of a gang-blasted area that made me cringe at the thought of them going to and from work, in the dark, on their own. Jasper pulled up to the curb and turned the engine off.
“I can’t believe she agreed to this.” He stared up at the broken down apartment building.
“She didn’t, douche bag. She doesn’t have a say in it.”
“I mean her friend.”
I turned in my seat and stared at him. “You got something you want to say about Lily?”
He shook his head a little too quickly, a little too fast. I leaned toward him. “Don’t touch her. Don’t you screw this up for me because you can’t keep it in your pants for two days.”
Jasper growled something under his breath, hunched his shoulders and slid down in his seat.
“I mean it,” I said as I slid out, grabbing my overnight bag from my feet. “Don’t you touch her.”
“Touch who?” Lily asked as she stepped up beside me.
“Nothing, just . . . nothing.” I wanted to hug her, to thank her for helping me. But I didn’t dare, not with Jasmin likely watching from their apartment.
Lily glared at me and shook her fist, but her words didn’t match. “She’s watching out the window so I have to give her a show. I’ve left my car for you two in case you need it. I told her I’d be back Monday morning. That’s three nights.” She held her fingers up as if I needed the help counting.
“Thank you. And don’t let him tell you he can’t cook.” I pointed at J
asper, and he glared up at me. “He’s more than capable.”
Lily slid into the passenger seat. “We’ll be fine.”
She slammed the door shut and Jasper pulled away before I could say anything else.
Mouth dry, I stared up at the apartment building, made my way to the door that should have been locked and wasn’t, let myself in. They lived on the second floor at least, that was a good thing. Not so easy for people to break into. I made my way to their apartment and knocked on the door. Footsteps, the click of the locks opening and then she was there, standing in front of me, giving me a smile, even though I could see she was fighting it.
“Hi, come on in.” She opened the door wide. “You don’t have to do this, you know. I’ll be okay by myself.”
I smiled at her. “I made a promise to Lily.”
“And you always keep your promises,” she said softly, her voice hushed. I tried not to look at her, tried to think about ways to ease the tension when all I really wanted to do was wrap her in my arms and hold her.
“Here, you can put your stuff in Lily’s room.” She spun on her heel and walked down the short hallway. The sway of her hips as she moved, barefoot on the cheap linoleum floor, was enough to make me drool. But, I picked up my bag, followed her, and kept my tongue in my mouth.
“I changed the sheets already, so you’re good to go.” She was standing in the doorway and I slid past her, our bodies brushing ever so slightly. I caught the way she held herself, frozen as we touched, her eyes flickering over my body.
I tossed my bag onto the bed, pretended like I didn’t see her reaction. “This is fine. I can even sleep on the couch if you want. If Lily doesn’t want me to use her room, I’d get it.”
“No, no, this is fine.”
Her eyes flicked over me again. “Are you hungry? I was going to make something, if you’re hungry that is.”
“Stop. Just stop.” I held up my hands. “I’m not going to be dealing with this weird, shy, nervous Jasmin all weekend, am I?”
She put her hands on her hips and glared at me. “I’m not weird or shy or nervous. You jerk.”
