Cupcake

by Mariah Jones

  There was nothing I could do to stop it. It all happened so fast, it was like watching cartoon drawings become an animation. Thorne’s fist shot out in one deft movement and caught the other man on the bridge of his nose. The guy fell to the floor, immediately rolling to his side and covering his nose which was already trickling blood. “Jeez man, I was just joking with you. I think you broke my nose.”

  Thorn shook his hand out and stretch his fingers a couple of times to get feeling back in them. “Perhaps next time if you don’t have anything nice to say you won’t say anything at all,” he said to the man sprawled on the floor. He turned to look at me, “let’s go beautiful.”

  I looked up at the bartender before we left and found he had a broad smile on his face. Apparently he approved of how Thorne handled the situation. “Have a good night,” he called out to us on our way out the door.

  The ride back to my house was even quieter than the ride to the beach had been. Thorne seem to be thoughtful. He didn’t look disturbed by the earlier events, nor did he look angry. He just looked like his mind was somewhere else. I was still in shock and couldn’t believe that he had actually punched the guy. It was the last thing I ever expected. “Are you all right,” I finally got the courage to ask.

  “I just can’t believe the nerve of some people,” he said. “This world would function so much more smoothly if stupid people would stay home.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. He was right. I’d had the thought before that it was too bad people didn’t come with signs like roads do. If you walked up to someone and their forehead flashed in big yellow letters, “I hate fat people,” or “I like to cheat,” you might be more inclined to make good decisions about the people you surround yourself with. When I mentioned this to Thorne, he laughed in earnest.

  “How can you be so calm when people treat you that way?” He asked me.

  I shrugged my shoulders. “I’ve been dealing with weight issues my whole life. That makes you kind of an easy target.”

  “I’m sorry if I overreacted. I’m pretty sure you’re never going to want to go out with me again,” he said, sounding oddly dejected.

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “I was just thinking the same thing about you,” I admitted. It was true; I was sitting there thinking what an embarrassment I must have been to a man like Thorne.

  “What happened tonight wasn’t your fault. Why would you think I wouldn’t want to see you again?”

  I looked out the window instead of looking directly at him. I could feel my own embarrassment. “I know what happened tonight must’ve been terribly uncomfortable for you. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t go out with me again. I’ve kind of grown used people’s comments over the years but I’m sure someone like you…” My voice fell off uncertainly.

  We just pulled up in front of my house. Thorne turned off the engine. “Look at me,” he said kindly. I forced myself to look his direction. “From the first moment I met you I thought you were beautiful. I could care less what anyone else thinks. When I was out with you tonight I felt like the luckiest man in the world, and I still do.”

  I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, in spite of myself. All I could utter was a simple, “thank you.”

  Thorne walked me to my door and told me good night. I said my good night as well and turned to fumble with my keys. “Darcy,” he said. “I had a wonderful time tonight.”

  “I did too,” I replied. For a brief moment no one said anything, and then as I had been praying he would, he leaned down and placed his mouth over mine. The wonderful, earthy smell of his skin surrounded me as our lips met. His kiss was soft and gentle and I had to focus on keeping my legs underneath me as my head began to swim pleasantly. If he hadn’t been holding me by the shoulders I may have fallen off my porch step into the rose bushes lining the side of my house.

  The kiss was sweet and gentle and finished far too soon. When it was over he looked at me apologetically and I let out a nervous laugh.

  “I’ve wanted to do that all night,” he admitted shyly.

  “I was hoping you would,” I stammered, instantly regretting the words, as they sounded stupid to me when I heard myself speak them. I opened my mouth to say something else and we locked into another solid embrace. This time the kiss was hotter and more intense and I could feel my entire body responding to him. I could feel my blood rushing and my skin tingling and my heart pounding. By the time he released me I was breathless and urgent for more of his affection.

  “Would you like to come in?” I finally asked.

  He seemed to consider my request for a moment, finally declining my offer. “If I am going to remain a gentleman I feel it would be better if I left.”

  I could do little else other than nod my head as my powers of speech apparently left without notice again.

  “Can I see you again?” He asked.

  “Of course you can!” I blurted out immediately.

  He smiled at that and turned to leave. I was still having trouble catching my breath and settling my heartbeat down to a normal rhythm pattern, but I waved goodbye and went into the house.

  Chapter Thirteen

  All good things must blah blah blah…

  When I walked in the house after our date, I saw the red light blinking on my answering machine indicating there was a new message. It turned out there was not just one new message but rather twelve and they were all from my sister. “Darcy, its Katie, of course you knew that, call me back.” Most of the messages said basically the same thing, until the final one which began sounding more frantic and urgent. “Darcy? It’s after midnight. Are you okay? I’m beginning to worry. I’m sure you’re probably having a wonderful time and I’m just being paranoid; call me when you get this I’m dying to know how your date went!”

  By the last message I was beginning to get annoyed with my sister. She was treating me like I had a curfew or something. Then I thought about the conversation with Thorne about his brother Alex and immediately my anger subsided. I was lucky I had a sister who cared as much as Katie. I put down my coat and purse and pet the cat for a second before calling her.

  Katie and I talked for nearly an hour. And I excitedly repeated what happened that night leaving out any conversation about Alex, as I didn’t feel it was my place. Toward the end of the conversation Katie asked the big question. “Did he kiss you good night?”

  I considered not telling her, and keeping the moment to myself for now. Part of me was afraid that even talking about it might mess something up. I also knew that it was hard for me to keep anything from my sister. I swore she knew me better than I knew myself. “There may have been a kiss,” I admitted after a lengthy pause for the benefit of my sister’s curiosity.

  “Oh Darcy that’s so exciting!” the receiver boomed in my ear. Suddenly an endless stream of questions followed.

  When my sister had grilled me to her satisfaction, she told me good night. I found when I went to bed that night I couldn’t sleep. It wasn’t uncomfortable tossing and turning but rather it seemed my date with Thorne and provided happiness that was akin to a caffeine jolt. A few hours after our date, I was still smiling like an idiot. I doubted whether he was having the same trouble sleeping that I was, but a very conceited part of me hoped he was.

  I thought of the scale in my bathroom and for once I wasn’t intimidated. I remembered what Thorne said to me about being beautiful. After being out with him, I felt more confident than I had in years, not that I had ever had much self-esteem to begin with.

  ***

  The next few weeks were some of the best I had ever had. Thorne took me out on multiple occasions and each time was more special than the last. We came to find out we had a lot in common. We enjoyed the same kind of movies and books and activities. We talked for hours about nothing and everything all at the same time. Each date was new and exciting. Evenings ended with a kiss and left me unwilling to admit it, but desperately wanting more.

  We had been to the beach to fly kites, whic
h I was awful at. Still, I made him genuinely laugh and he did the same for me. He took me to a cooking class to learn Sushi preparation, but I spent most of the class staring at him. When the instructor, who was an elderly Asian woman, walked past us, she broke out into a huge smile. “He love you too,” she said to me. Thorne Smiled widely, but did not confirm or deny the accusation.

  We took a walk in the park that night and although the air was crisp and cool, I felt nothing but warmth radiating from inside me. I had never felt so many emotions in myself at once and wasn’t sure if I wanted to laugh or cry or stand on top of a building and shout for joy. I had denied it for weeks and done everything I could to make myself believe otherwise, but there was no denying it, I was falling in love.

  Sitting across from Thorne on a wrought-iron bench, I thought about what I would say to him when I was ready. He had given me every indication that he felt the same way as I did, other than actually coming out and saying it. My mind whirled with all the possibilities of what might come of me admitting my feelings. What would I do if he felt the same way? What would I do if I had misread the situation and he didn’t feel the same way?

  I had just made the decision to wait a while longer before I said anything, when Thorne reached over and took my hands in his. “Darcy,” he said quietly, looking directly into my eyes. “You are so special to me. I have always been so focused on my career and my own success that I haven’t taken the time to really get to know anyone. I want you to know…” his voice trailed off and I prayed he wouldn’t stop talking. “I need you to know that I am…” again he stopped and my breath caught in my throat. It was torture. I couldn’t stand it anymore.

  “I’M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU,” I blurted out accidentally. He didn’t say anything at first. His expression was one of surprise and the only sound to fill the deep silence was the rapid firing of my own heart. I searched his face for any sign that I had just made the biggest mistake of my life, but his expression remained calm and collected.

  Finally he let out a long sigh and I braced myself for the worst possible result. “I’m falling for you too. In my own clumsy way, that’s what I was trying to tell you.”

  Relief poured over me as I absorbed his words. I closed my eyes for a moment and when I opened them, he was holding a small box. “I wanted to give you this at the perfect time, and this feels like it,” he said, once more flashing his incredible smile.

  Inside the red, velvet box was a beautiful silver charm bracelet. It had a single charm, in the shape of a little car. I laughed when I realized the significance.

  “I hope you like it,” he said. “I was hoping I would have plenty more opportunities to buy you charms in the future.”

  I squeezed his hand and grinned even wider. “I hope I never give you reason to buy another car charm,” I agreed.

  “Getting run over by a beautiful woman does have its advantages. You did nurse me back to health.”

  I thought back to that day and the moment he had removed his shirt and felt heat sweep up my chest and into my face. I hoped he didn’t notice. I was so happy in that moment I felt as though my chest was going to burst. Part of me couldn’t believe this was all happening to me. I really didn’t feel worthy of this perfect man who sat before me.

  When we reached my doorstep that night, I asked again if he would like to come in and this time, to my delightful surprise, he agreed. I told him to make himself comfortable and gestured to the over-stuffed sofa in my living room. While he took a seat, I made some coffee. As I listen to the snorting and burping of my coffee maker, I leaned against the counter and took a deep breath. Was this really happening to me? I crept around the corner and peeked in the living room. Apparently it wasn’t a dream. Sitting on my sofa was Thorne, and to my great astonishment, Mr. Muffins.

  I walked into the room carrying two steaming mugs of coffee. Mr. Muffins glared at me from the comfort of Thorne’s lap. My own cat was threatening me. I stood there in disbelief, usually when I had company Mr. Muffins would run and hide and refuse to come out until the house was empty again. “It looks as though you’ve made a friend,” I commented.

  Thorne scratched the cat behind the ears, which made the beast purr even louder. He had been my cat for five years and I don’t think I ever heard him purr that loud. The furry traitor stretched out lazily across Thorne’s lap, with no apparent intention of moving.

  “I’ve never seen him do that with anyone else,” I said. I took a seat beside Thorne, which finally prompted Mr. Muffins to vacate his lap. My cat walked away swishing his tail and disappeared around the corner, but not before giving me one last dirty look just for good measure.

  We sat for the better part of an hour talking about the future of Thorne’s business as well as that of the bakery. Eventually there came a point when our words died away. His lips brushed softly against mine at first, sending waves of pleasure coursing through my body. Soon the kisses grew more urgent and I knew we were both on the verge of losing control. I had known for weeks that I wanted him, needed him, but now that we were alone and making progress toward further sensuality, I found I was also dreadfully nervous.

  The smell of his skin and the heat of his body awakened things within me that I had never known existed. His hands were gentle and his embrace was meaningful. Every move he made was natural, and yet it was all flowing so perfectly I thought it must be a dream. Nothing ever went this smoothly where I was concerned.

  I wound my arms around his neck and began to run my fingers through his dark hair. His kisses grew deeper and my resistance grew weaker. “I want you,” he said breathlessly. I didn’t reply. I pulled him back to me for another kiss. A moment later he broke free of our embrace and gazed into my eyes. “I don’t want you to do anything you aren’t comfortable with,” he said.

  Once more, I chose to answer with actions rather than words. Standing up, I led him from my living room, down the short hallway to my bedroom. The light was on and I paused to turn it off, which left us in complete darkness. “I want to look into your eyes,” Thorne said, reaching for a small lamp on the dresser beside us. I felt instant paranoia. Could I let this man see me naked? What if he found the stretch marks I couldn’t hide repulsive or if he didn’t realize how much extra weight I actually carried until he saw me without clothing?

  He turned on the lamp and smiled at me, brushing my hair back from my shoulder. “If you don’t want to, it’s not too late to change your mind,” he said, mistaking my hesitation for something other than insecurity.

  I had a choice to make in that moment. Make this man who was everything I had ever dreamed of and every part of me desired, believe that I wasn’t as into the idea of making love as he was, or let down my guard and allow a little happiness in my existence. I looked at his tousled hair and two-thirds of his exposed chest. The choice wasn’t hard.

  The next morning I woke later than I was accustomed to. The soft morning light poured in through the drapes. I looked over at Thorne, who was still sleeping peacefully. The night before had been the most amazing night of my life and I could scarcely believe it had been real.

  A small smile remained at the corners of his mouth. The shadows that played over his exposed chest made me long to touch him, but I refrained, for fear of disturbing him. Thorne had brought out a side of me I never knew existed the night before. He was a skilled lover and although I had been nervous in the beginning, he soon made me forget my fears. However, that lack of self-consciousness hadn’t carried over into the light of the morning. I glanced around my room and realized my clothing was sprawled everywhere. There was no possible way I could reach any of it from where I was at.

  I considered getting up and making a dash for the bathroom where my robe was at, but it seemed too risky. Letting him see me in the unflattering light of the morning with no clothes was bad enough. The thought of him watching my fat bounce and jiggle as I ran from the room naked was something else entirely.

  Feeling helpless, I tried to devise a plan to co
ver myself long enough to get to the bathroom. I was dismayed as I realized the only article of clothing close to me was his shirt. I swore at my plus-sized body as I realized there was no way it would fit me. I had seen too many movies where the woman walks through the house after a wild night of love-making wearing the man’s button-down shirt and nothing else. If I tried to stuff myself in Thorne’s shirt I might accidentally shoot off a button and put his eye out.

  The only choice I had left for makeshift apparel was bedding. The blanket was fully tucked under his body and I couldn’t move it without waking him. The sheet might work, I thought. Being as careful as I could, I wriggled under it, trying not to move the bed too much. Thorne stirred slightly and readjusted his arm, but didn’t wake. I breathed a sigh of relief. My bed had not been intended for two people, I thought. It was a twin, never intended for two, especially when one of said two took up most of the bed. Thorne was barely perched at the edge. I felt bad. I made a note to myself to start working on the weight loss again as soon as possible.