by Sophia Gray
# # #
A quick search on his phone had gotten him the address, but when he pulled up to the massive gates he had no idea how he was going to get in. There was a convenient buzzer, but he didn’t nurse any illusions of being let right in. He couldn’t take the chance of being turned away by some impersonal staff member or security guard. Not when he needed to be able to see her face.
Ethan realized his heart had started thumping harder. Nervous? No, it couldn’t be. Whatever he’d felt for her had to be dead. She was engaged to someone else now, damn it. He reassured himself it was just anger. It couldn’t be anything else. He left the bike on the street and went over the wall, hoping to God her father didn’t have dogs.
He made it to the door without any issues and knocked firmly. It took a few repetitions before the door opened slightly. The chain was still on. Amelia’s face peered out. Her mouth dropped open and the door slammed.
Ethan was raising his hand to knock again when he heard the chain drop and the door was flung wide.
“Ethan?” she whispered.
“Yeah.” For a second, that was all he could say.
Now that he saw her up close, under the bright hallway lights, she looked smaller than she had two months ago. She’d washed her makeup off and there were dark circles under her eyes. She looked exhausted. It was all he could do not to pull her into his arms and ask her what was wrong. Even though he was supposed to be furious with her.
“What...what are you doing here?”
She pushed her hair back into the untidy bun and he noticed the way the light caught and flashed on the massive diamond. It was surrounded by countless smaller diamonds. He was almost relieved to feel his anger flood back.
“I don’t know, Amelia,” he snapped, stepping into the foyer and closing the door behind him. “Maybe I’m here for some goddamn answers.”
“A...answers?” she asked, backing up just a bit, looking suddenly afraid.
She was so much smaller than him. Ethan took a breath and stayed where he was. He didn’t want to scare her. He just wanted to know what the hell was going on.
“Were you watching your father’s speech?” he demanded.
She shook her head. “No. I read it when it was finished this morning. Is that really what you came for? Ethan, I--”
“Were you with that other guy when we had sex?” Ethan burst out, needing to know.
“What guy?”
“What guy? Hell, I don’t know...maybe the one that just gave you a diamond the size of a golf ball a few hours ago at dinner?”
Amelia glanced disinterestedly down at her ring. “Oh. Anthony.”
Ethan snorted at her bored response to a ring that probably cost more than he spent on food in a year. And she didn’t seem too interested in the guy who’d given it to her either. Did she just not give a damn about any of the men she associated with?
“So is that a yes?”
“No!” She looked into his eyes, hers begging him to believe her. “Ethan, I hadn’t even been out with Anthony before that night.”
“Pretty quick work,” he said coldly. “Going from a one night stand with a big, bad, biker to an engagement with a little rich boy.”
Amelia’s face flushed. “You don’t know anything about why I’m doing this! Don’t you dare stand there and judge me!”
“Fine,” he snarled. “I don’t even know why the hell I expected anything different from you. Just another rich girl slumming before she has to give in and make Daddy proud.”
He was nearly out the door when he heard her begin to cry.Don’t look, don’t look. He turned back. Her hands were over her face and her small figure was shaking with harsh sobs. “Goddamn it,” he muttered, going back inside. “Amelia...come on. Stop that.”
“Stop that?” she managed through her tears. “You’re shitty at making things better, Ethan!”
He huffed out a half laugh. “Hey, if you’re just gonna criticize me, maybe I’ll go after all.”
He only just braced himself when she threw herself at him, sobbing into his chest, soaking his tee shirt. He cupped the back of her head, pulling her hair free of its ties and running his fingers through it, allowing the silky strands to soothe the confusion and anger that was still bottled up. He was still furious with her father and he still didn’t understand what the hell had happened between him and Amelia that night, but, God, she felt right against him.
“Don’t go,” she whispered. “Please. I’ll do what I can to explain. Just...please don’t go.”
When she looked up at him, he couldn’t help himself. She wasn’t his. She was engaged to another man. And he still cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. Amelia went up onto her tiptoes, wrapping her arms around him and parting her lips for his tongue.
He’d convinced himself over the time that they’d been apart that there was no way being with her had been that good. He’d told himself that the memory only stuck with him because he was confused by it. None of that was true. Standing her with her now, kissing her again...it brought it all back vividly. Her mouth was perfection. Her small breasts pushing against his chest were even better, if anything could be better than perfection. And he was pretty sure that she somehow was.
Ethan pulled back before he really wanted to, remembering that engagement ring. He’d done some questionable things in his life, but he wasn’t a cheater. He didn’t want to be the person someone cheated with either.
He had to even out his breathing before he could speak, but he managed. “Then talk to me, Amelia.”
She took a deep breath as well. “Okay. Come out onto the back deck. We’ll talk there.”
Chapter 13
Amelia
Amelia’s whole body felt like it was buzzing with nerves. Nerves and arousal. The back deck had seemed like the safest place for a talk. There had been a look in his eyes...his gorgeous, dark blue eyes...that had shaken her to her core.
It wasn’t fear; it was desire, plain and simple. Could she really live the rest of her life with a man who barely glanced up from his cell phone when she was around when there was a man who devoured her with his eyes? God help her, she didn’t know if she could.
Her mind was racing with possibilities. Why had Ethan come? Just for answers? She could understand why he wanted them. But did he want more? He’d nearly walked out on her. But that kiss...she brushed her fingers over her lips. They were still tingling.
“You said you’d explain,” he said, crossing his arms over his broad chest.
She nodded, leaning back against the deck railing so she felt steadier. “Yes. And I will. I want to answer your questions.”
“Why me? That night?”
That wasn’t exactly where she’d expected him to start. She blinked up at him, thrown. “Um...well, I guess because--”
He held up his hand suddenly. “Wait. That’s not...why anyone? You were a virgin.”
Amelia’s mouth dropped open. “How did you know that?”
“Blood,” he said succinctly. “On the sheets. I saw it the next morning.” He gave her a half smile. “And even if I hadn’t been sure, you would have confirmed it for me just now. You’ve got no poker face.”
She looked down. Why did he have to be so suddenly charming? “I wanted to make at least one decision in my life that was just mine,” she said.
Ethan shifted, pushing his hands down into his pockets. “So you decided to lose your virginity to some random dude?”
Amelia raised her chin. “Yes. But it wasn’t going to be just anyone. I mean, definitely not that first guy. You...you felt right.”
“Why?” His eyes locked with hers, seeming to search her.
“Because you stood up for me and you didn’t have to. And because you did it without throwing a single punch. You were unexpected.” Amelia glanced down. “And I thought you were the hottest guy I’d ever seen in person.”
“You thought?” he asked, stepping forward, caging her in, his body only a few inches from hers. “What
happened between now and then?”
Amelia looked up at him, swallowing hard. “Nothing important.”
Slowly, his features hardened and he stepped back. “Except now you’re marrying someone else. That’s not important?”
What should she tell him? Confusion warred within her. How much did he need to know? What would send him running out?
“You were really fine with walking out of my house?” he asked. “And never coming back? Without saying a damn thing?”
“I had to,” she said. “If I’d waited...if you’d woken up...”
“You’d have stayed?”
“Did you want me to?” she asked, turning the tables on him. He didn’t answer. Amelia shook her head. “No. You’re not going to stand here and drag answers out of me without giving anything. Are you the kind of guy that makes breakfast for the women he brings home?”
“No,” he said, his anger rising up again. “I’m not even the kind of guy who stays the night. I just...”
“So you can just fuck and leave, but you’re going to judge me for it?”
“I’m not judging you! I missed you!”
She turned away, looking out over the sparkling pool while she blinked back tears. He moved behind her again, putting his hands on either side of her and leaning down to speak into her ear.
“Why are you marrying him?”
“Because I have to.”
She saw his hands clench on the railing. “No. You don’t. This is the 21st century, for God’s sake! You don’t have to marry anyone you don’t want to marry! You don’t lo--like him. Do you?”
“He’s okay. It’s a business partnership, nothing more than that. Do you want to know how our dates go? He picks me up; he spends the whole car ride texting people. We only go to places where he thinks we’ll be seen. He--”
“Why?” he demanded harshly. “Why the hell would you do this?”
“I... it’s hard to explain...Anthony...he has money--”
“You have money!”
She spun around. “And I won’t if I don’t do this!”
“Basically, your old man won’t give you money if you don’t marry this guy?”
“Yes.”
“And money’s more important than anything else?”
“No, but I do like to eat!”
“Then get a job like the rest of us!” Ethan shouted.
“It’s not that simple!” Amelia shouted back.
“Then explain it to me!”
She pushed her hands through her hair, fighting tears again. “I don’t know how. I don’t want you to walk out on me!”
Ethan grabbed her upper arms and pulled her against his chest. “Let’s get two things straight right now. You drive me fucking crazy, Amelia. But I’m not going anywhere unless you throw me out.”
She threw her arms around him.
“What the hell is going on here?”
Amelia spun to face her father. Ethan kept his arm over her shoulders, holding her against his side, tucking her in protectively.
“Amelia?” Gregory asked again. “What are youdoing? You’re engaged to Anthony!”
“For now,” Ethan said, his body so tense that Amelia could feel every muscle tighten and flex. “Maybe she’ll change her mind. Since it’s her decision to make and everything.”
“You honestly think you’ll make a better father to that child than the governor’s son will? What could you give the baby? An addiction problem before it hits high school? A life on food stamps?”
Ethan looked down at Amelia in shock. “What?”
She dropped her face into her hands. Gregory Stratton stared at the two of them, seeming to realize Amelia hadn’t told Ethan yet.
“Get off my property or I’ll call the police,” he blustered.
“There’s...there’s a baby?” Ethan asked, ignoring her father, his voice nearly shaking. She didn’t answer. “Amelia. Are you pregnant? With...” He sounded almost staggered, completely shocked. She had no idea whether it was good or bad, though. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him.
“I’m calling the police,” Gregory said, pulling his cell phone out and beginning to dial.
“Just go,” Amelia said, completely humiliated and unable to take anymore. “Just go, Ethan, please.”
Her heart broke when she heard his heavy motorcycle boots thump over the wooden deck boards as he left her behind. Hands still over her face, she sank down and sobbed. Her father stood over her for a moment, but he didn’t speak before he turned and walked into the house.
Chapter 14
Ethan
Ethan walked out of the house, aware Gregory Stratton was following him closely and watching his every move. Probably to make sure he didn’t steal anything on the way. He shouldn’t have bothered. The only thing he’d wanted to leave with was on the back deck, refusing to look at him.
And she hadn’t told him she was pregnant. A month and a half of silence, an engagement to another man, and now this. Ethan’s head was spinning.
He shoved the huge metal gate open and walked down to where his bike was parked. Every footstep sent the words through his brain again. She was pregnant. With his kid. He didn’t even have an extra bedroom. Where would he put a baby? How would he afford to feed it?
He made enough to get by, to put a little aside even, but he wasn’t exactly rolling in dough. He could sell the bike. He could take on more hours at the shop. He could--
Ethan shook his head. No. What was he thinking? He didn’t have to worry about any of that because Stratton was going to call the cops if he ever so much as saw him within five hundred feet of Amelia. Amelia, who hadn’t told him she was pregnant.
Why in God’s hadn’t she told him? Why the hell hadn’t she said something? The conversation had been enlightening and infuriating, but he’d felt close to her. She stood up to him. So why couldn’t she stand up to her father? Or was it more that she simply wouldn’t?
He slung his leg over the bike and jerked his helmet down over his head. Now where the hell was he going to go? He couldn’t go home. There was no way he could face the bed that still gave him flashbacks of their night together. Not knowing what he knew now. Knowing he was never going to be able to be with her again.
The Flathead needed work and he had anger to burn off. That settled it. He’d go to headquarters.
He rode there almost distractedly and, when he recognized William’s bike parked out front, walked straight into the garage, bypassing the common room. He couldn’t bring himself to face the man, not while he was still so shell shocked. There were other guys there, as well, full patch members. Ethan vaguely remembered that they played poker once a week here. So they probably wouldn’t pay him any attention anyway. They tended to take the game pretty seriously.
He walked into the garage and over to the full-sized refrigerator they kept there. Maybe a beer or ten would help him get some feeling back in his numb brain and body. The massive black refrigerator was covered in layers of newspaper clippings, postcards...most of them featuring nearly naked women and dirty jokes...from rides various members had been on, and photographs of varying quality taken with cheap cameras. As he reached to pull the door open, he accidentally pushed a clipping of Stratton that someone had drawn devil horns onto off of the picture behind it.
He’d forgotten the picture was there. Ethan tugged it off of the fridge and leaned back against a workbench, beer forgotten. It was a picture of him with his father, right after he’d first come out to Nevada. He remembered posing for it now. Maria had taken the photo.
“Come on! It’s the first time your son has been to your motorcycle club!” she said, waving her camera in their faces. “You’re gonna wanna remember it!”
Marcus looked at William over Maria’s head and William shrugged. “Might as well let her do it, man. She’s been taking pictures of every damn thing since I bought it for her. ‘Bout time she picked on somebody who ain’t me.”
“Shut up, or you’ll end up in the pi
cture, too,” she said with a grin. “Now, get in closer, in front of that bike.” She glanced up at them, frustrated. “Pretend like you love each other, okay? We’re going for a Kodak moment here.”
Marcus put his arm over Ethan’s shoulders, both of them tensing up. This was the first time Marcus touched him since he’d arrived in Nevada two weeks before. Ethan stood stiffly, not leaning in. He’d been so unsure back then. Hell, they both had. And, of the twenty-seven years Ethan should have gotten with his father, he’d missed out on sixteen of them.
Was he really planning to do the same thing to his own kid? Ignoring it? Going back to his life with the motorcycle club as if he didn’t have any responsibilities at all? Letting Anthony Barlow raise his child just because the guy had more money than he did? Or worse, just because Gregory Stratton had told him to back off?
