by Sophia Gray
Penelope jogged over to the two of them and gave Jimmy a small wave before looping her arm through Amelia’s. “Hey, ready to eat?” she asked. “I think everything’s pretty much done.”
They walked across to the table Ethan had chosen for them. Different groups were scattered all around the campground, opening bags of chips and bottles of beer. There was a man at each grill slapping steaks and burgers and hotdogs down on plates rapidly. Everyone was chattering and laughing, but the wind swept all but the closest conversations away.
Amelia took her plate up to Kenny, who gave her a grin. “What can I getcha?” he asked.
She looked at the array of grilled meat. She actually felt hungry for the first time in a while and she planned to enjoy this meal to the fullest. “Steak,” she said decidedly.
He slid one onto her plate. “I cooked that one a little bit longer,” he said. “Since you’re eating for two and all.”
She hadn’t even thought about that and so she beamed up at him. “Thank you so much!”
“Am I going to get special treatment when I get knocked up, too?” Penelope demanded, giving Amelia a small wink to let her know she was only teasing the chef.
“Maybe just a little,” Kenny said, sliding a thick hamburger patty and a hot dog onto her plate without asking. “Don’t know how special I can make a hamburger and a hot dog, though.” When Penelope looked down at the white foam plate in surprise, he went on. “What? This is your usual, right?”
“Yeah,” she said. “I just...I didn’t think you’d remember.”
“You act like Taylor doesn’t talk about you from dawn to dusk.” Kenny sounded annoyed, but one look into his brown eyes told both women that he wasn’t. “Now, get on back to the table and let these poor hungry men get their food.”
“Are we the only women?” Amelia asked in an undertone as they headed for the table.
“At this table, yeah,” Penelope answered, ripping open a bag of spicy barbecue chips and handing Amelia a foil packet of potatoes along with the bottle of ketchup. “I don’t know what Kenny does to these potatoes,” she went on. “But they are so damn good, so you’re gonna split them with me. Anyway, yeah, and I’m glad you’re here because with William taking off, I would have been the only woman at the table.”
“Really? None of the other guys are involved with anyone?”
“Not really. They’ve all got their reasons, I guess. I mean, Jimmy’s divorce hasn’t been easy on him, so he’s not looking for anything serious. Or anything too casual because of his girls. He doesn’t want them seeing women going in and out of the house all the time. Kenny just likes the single life. Ryan doesn’t, but he hasn’t found the right one yet. And now Ethan’s got you.”
“Does William have a girlfriend?” Amelia asked.
She could tell from Penelope’s laugh that she hadn’t done a good job at concealing her surprise. “Yeah, her name’s Maria and I think she’s great. If anyone is gonna help him get his head on straight again, it’ll be her. They’ve been together for something like fifteen years, so she knows him better than most people.”
“That’s a long time,” Amelia said as she opened the foil packet of potatoes. The scent wafted up with the steam and her mouth began to water instantly. “Wow, these smell amazing!”
“They taste even better.” Penelope reached over and plucked one out, popping it into her mouth and chewing appreciatively. “The man is a magician.”
“Talkin’ about me again?” Taylor asked, dropping onto the bench beside her and slinging his arm around her shoulders.
She rolled her eyes and then grinned. “You know it, baby. You’re all I can think about.”
“That’s what I like to hear.” He took a bite of his steak and chewed for a second. Then his face went red and his eyes began to water.
Amelia looked on in alarm as he grabbed his beer and chugged it, caught his breath, and reached for Penelope’s beer, too.
“What’s wrong?” Penelope asked sounding worried.
Kenny sat down in front of him, wearing a grin worthy of the Cheshire cat himself. “If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen,” he said placidly. “You oughta know by now not to piss off the chef.”
“What did you put in there, Kenny?” Ethan asked, sitting down beside Amelia and looking at his treasurer with almost academic interest.
“Nothing much,” Kenny said, cutting into his own perfectly medium rare steak casually. “Just a little more pepper than normal.”
“A little?” Penelope asked, her eyebrow sliding up.
“Okay, a lot.” Kenny smiled across the table at Taylor, who was still drinking and wiping his streaming eyes with the back of his free hand. “Relax, man. There’s another steak for you on the grill.”
“Don’t know if I trust you now,” Taylor managed to say. “You son of a--” He grabbed Ethan’s beer and drank it, too.
Penelope went and got the steak. She took the first bite, chewed thoroughly, and then handed the plate to Taylor solemnly. “I think you’ll be okay,” she said dryly.
“Now that’s dedication,” Ethan remarked. “I’d lock it down while I could. And go get me another beer, you asshole.”
His words reminded Amelia of his proposal, still unanswered. She realized she wanted to say yes. No matter how crazy Aubrey would think she was, she wanted to be Ethan’s wife. But she couldn’t tell him yes without more information. She had to know they were getting married for the same reasons.
Amelia glanced over at Ethan and found his eyes resting on her. His hand rested on her leg briefly. It felt good; there was still the shiver of electricity and desire. But she needed more than that.
# # #
After dinner and cleanup, everyone had drifted off into smaller groups. Ethan ducked into the tent, grabbed a blanket and took Amelia’s hand. She followed him out to a secluded area where the setting sun struck full on the red rocks; the view that gave the Valley of Fire its name.
He spread the blanket out and dropped to the ground, pulling her down with him. She sat between his legs, leaning back against his chest. He felt her relax slowly and her breathing matched with his. It was incredibly relaxing, holding her while the sun put on a show. He had nothing to do and nowhere to be except in this moment with her.
“So,” he said. “Did you want to talk about--”
“When did you lose your virginity?” she cut in.
Ethan stared down at her, but she had her chin up, facing determinedly toward the great view. It could have been the light of the setting sun, but he would have sworn she was blushing.
“Say what?” he asked, just to be sure he’d heard her correctly.
She half turned, glancing quickly up at him and then away again. She was definitely blushing.
“You heard me.”
“Yeah, but...”
“I thought we were going to be getting to know each other,” she said. “And it’s not like you don’t know when I lost mine, so I figured I’d ask you about your first time.”
He rubbed his chin. “Okay, you’ve got me there. I don’t mind telling you, it’s just that this really isn’t where I thought we’d start.”
“Well, you could always tell me your favorite color if you want to start easy.”
“Blue, all ‘em except the really pale blue. And I was fifteen when I lost my virginity.”
“Mine’s green, especially emerald green. And isn’t that kind of young?”
“It might have been,” Ethan agreed. “But I saw the chance and I went for it.”
“So this was before you came to Nevada, then?” she realized.
“Yeah.”
“Okay...”
“Okay, what?”
“Well, who was she? Give me a little more information than that!”
“Her name was Maggie and she was about a year older than me. Blonde hair, blue eyes. Cheerleader at our high school. Her parents had just split up and her mom had to go to back to work to make ends meet while she
waited on her settlement. There was a lot of time to be alone. We went for it.”
“Was she your first girlfriend?”
Ethan leaned back a bit, looking up at the sky. “No, I guess I wouldn’t say she was my girlfriend. The age difference matters a lot in high school.” Hell, he’d promised to be honest. “And even if it hadn’t...I didn’t really want to date her.”
“Why not? You liked her enough to sleep with her.”
“I liked her a lot,” Ethan agreed. “It’s just that relationships aren’t really my thing.”
Amelia held her breath, holding back everything that she wanted to say. The last thing she wanted to do was push him away by reacting to what he’d said with the fear that had suddenly filled her.
“No relationshipsever?” she asked. “Not even after high school.”
“No, not really. Nothing I’d call serious.”
“Penelope says you’re easy to get,” Amelia blurted out.
Ethan snorted. “Did she?”
“Are you?”
“I guess so,” he said easily.
“Like...how easy? New woman every night easy or...”
“Good God, no,” Ethan said quickly. “I’m not...” He tried to figure out how to put it. “I’ve had more than a few one-night stands, sure. It’s more about the no strings thing. Open relationships, I guess is the best way to put it.”
“That’s not what I expected.” Was that what he would want with her? Because she wasn’t the type to share. Not when it came to him.
“I don’t mean open relationships like that. I just mean the freedom for either person to pick up and leave whenever they want.” He felt her stiffen slightly and he sighed. He wasn’t doing the greatest job of explaining this. “Look, I’ve never wanted to end up with any of the women I’ve been with, and I don’t mind admitting it. They didn’t want to end up with me either.”
Amelia snorted softly. “Yeah, right.”
“I like the disbelief, but I’m serious.”
“You’re telling me that there weren’t ever feelings? From any of them? For any of them?”
“There were feelings. There was lust and there was friendship. But it wasn’t love. And we both knew what it was going into it. I’m not one of those guys who likes stepping on a woman’s heart.”
She nodded, but she didn’t speak.
“Is it my turn to ask a question now?” he asked.
“Sure,” she answered quietly.
“Was I your first kiss?”
Her surprised laugh rang out, pleasing him. “No!” she said, still giggling.
“No?” he questioned. “And here I thought I was special.”
“Remember that whole virginity thing?”
“I guess that’ll have to do.” He kissed the top of her head. “Well?”
“Well, what?”
“Spill it. Who was he?”
“His name was Brent Bruckheimer.”
“Are you serious? What is it with these rich people names?”
“Yes, I’m serious. It was at our eighth grade dance. Well, actually it was after the dance when his chauffeur dropped me off. He was about half a foot shorter than me and he was sweating through his suit. It wasn’t really great.”
“Sure it wasn’t,” Ethan said with a grin. “He wasn’t me.”
“You wouldn’t have asked me to that dance.”
“I’m seven years older than you. It wouldn’t have been worth the jail time, no matter how cute you probably were.”
“I was only semi-cute. I had a lot of baby fat. And I forget about you being older than me.”
“I forget about you being younger than me. Does it bother you? The age difference?”
“No,” Amelia answered honestly. “I always assumed I’d end up with an older man. Actually, I expected my future husband to be even older than you.”
“Thanks,” he said wryly. “Wasn’t that Anthony guy around your age, though?”
“No, he was older than me.” She paused for thought. “He was younger than you, though.”
“Yeah, just keep rubbing it in.”
“Does the age difference botheryou?” she asked with a quick laugh.
“Nah, I like the idea of a trophy woman. You’re gonna have to chase the kid around, though. I’ll have to keep both hands on my walker.”
“You’re not getting out of childcare duty that easily, Ethan.”
His hands slid around, his large, warm palm resting on her stomach. “What do you think?” he asked. “Boy or girl?”
She smiled. “I know the appropriate answer is ‘as long as it’s healthy it doesn’t matter’ but I kind of want a boy.”
“Yeah? Me too. I can get him a little tool bench and let help me with spark plugs this time next year.”
Amelia laughed. “Of course, a girl would be a lot of fun, too,” she said. “Pretty clothes and someone to give all of my porcelain dolls to.”
“You have porcelain dolls?”
“Most of them belonged to my mother, actually, but I kept them.”
“Do you have a lot of her stuff?”
“No, not really. I have the dolls. I have a blanket she made for me when she was pregnant. And I have two photo albums. What about you?”
“I don’t have anything of my mom’s,” Ethan said. “A few pictures I can show you when we get back. But we didn’t really have a lot of stuff and she wasn’t the sentimental type. She didn’t go the keepsake route. And with Dad...most of his stuff is still at HQ. Part of the legacy. His jacket and military stuff.” He looked up at the sky, which had gone dark while they spoke. “This is what I brought you out here for,” he said. “Look up there.”
Amelia glanced up and then caught her breath. “Oh, wow! Ethan, it’s amazing!” Stars twinkled like diamonds cast carelessly across the black velvet of the sky. “Is it always like this out here?”
“It’s better with you.”
Amelia took a deep breath. There would never be a better moment to get this question answered. Once and for all, she had to know. “Ethan, why did you ask me to marry you?”
“You really don’t know?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Amelia, I don’t want us turning out like Jimmy and his ex-wife. I want us to raise this kid together. I want us to be a family.”
“I see.” She looked up at the sky, the one filled with stars that suddenly looked cold and remote. “I’m getting cold. Is it okay with you if we go back to the tent?”
“Sure.” Ethan stood, tugging her to her feet.
She grabbed the blanket and hurried back before he could see her tears.
Chapter 24
Amelia
Amelia lay on the air mattress, staring blankly into the darkness that surrounded her. She’d been awake for hours. She’d turned her head away when Ethan had started to kiss her once they got back to the tent. He’d believed her when she’d said that she was worried about the closer campers overhearing them, but, truthfully, she’d been afraid that she would start to cry if they had sex. It was always so good with him and she didn’t need anything that wonderful clouding her judgment. Not when she needed to think.
Ethan wanted to marry her. He wanted to raise their child together. And she wanted so much more from their marriage than that. It couldn’t work. It never worked. She’d seen the families that stayed together “for the kids.” Misery, bitterness, and pointless fights between two people tied only by circumstance. That wasn’t the life she wanted for herself or for their child.
A light speared through the tent and she looked quickly around for the source. Her cell phone lit up again. Amelia untangled herself from the blanket and from Ethan’s arms.
He muttered under his breath and rolled over, so she went still again. Once he’d settled back into a comfortable position and she knew he wasn’t going to wake up, she reached for the phone. It was three o’clock in the morning; there was really only one person it could be. She wasn’t surprised when she saw her father’s name f
lashing on the display.
He could take her home. The thought came out of the blue, but she didn’t have the urge to push it away like she had so many times since she’d left home. Instead, Amelia pictured her room, her big comfortable bed and the thick curtains she could draw across her big windows.
The picture was more than a little inviting. A familiar place to hide, to regroup, to lick her wounds. A familiar shower to cry in. She knew from past experiences that no one would hear her there.
