“Forgiveness.” Sam’s word penetrated his swirling thoughts. “Forgiveness is the key to a satisfied life. If you harbor unforgiveness against anyone, it’ll eat on you and do you more harm than it does the person you’re not forgiving.”
Jeremiah was still chewing on the point when Sam opened his
Bible.
“It’s important to God that we forgive others. In the portion of the Sermon on the Mount found in Matthew 6, the Lord stresses that we must forgive others if we want His forgiveness. He even included it as part of the model prayer He taught His disciples.”
Some of the things Sam said didn’t mean a lot to Jeremiah. He hadn’t heard these ideas before. But something felt right about what the man was saying. Having to forgive before you could receive forgiveness. And right now, Jeremiah wanted a clean slate. He wanted to be forgiven for all the things he’d done wrong.
“You must forgive people even when they’ve committed grievous wrongs against you.”
Whoa. Grievous wrongs? Jeremiah knew what those were. He carried the scars of many on his back. He didn’t even know if his old man and his uncle were still alive, and he hadn’t cared to find out…until now. Could he forgive them? He didn’t think so. Where did that leave him?
Chapter Twenty-four
Pastor Oldman’s message settled into Maddy’s heart and started putting down roots.
Pearl had fallen asleep toward the last of the sermon. Even the song at the end didn’t awaken her. All her playing with Philip, and then Martha Henderson and Harriet Stone, had tired the baby out. Maddy shifted her daughter from her lap up to her shoulder and arose from the chair.
Sarah glided toward her. “Would you like me to take the sweet babe up to her bed? I’ll stay with her, and you can visit some more. I know how much you enjoy that.”
When they transferred Pearl from one person’s shoulder to the other, she raised her head, then plopped it down again but never really woke up.
“Thank you. I wanted to talk to Pastor Oldman.”
While visiting with Martha and Harriet, Maddy waited her turn to talk to the minister. That made her the last person in line.
Pastor Oldman took her hand, engulfing it in his large one and covering it with the other. “I always enjoy seeing you in the services, Madeline. And Philip has a good time with your daughter.” He glanced around. “Where is Pearl? She really made the rounds this morning.”
“Sarah took her up to bed. I’m afraid your sermon put her to sleep.” Maddy smiled so he would know she was joking.
He threw back his head, and his rich laugh echoed in the large room. “That’s a good one.” Everyone turned to look at them.
Maddy withdrew her hand. She made her tone serious. “But I listened to every word. Your message went straight to…where I have…hidden unforgiveness.”
The same seriousness entered the pastor’s eyes. He glanced around long enough to ascertain their relative privacy before continuing in a voice just above a whisper, “I wanted to talk to you about that, Madeline. I wasn’t sure how to approach the matter, but you’ve given me an open door.”
Maddy wasn’t sure where he was heading with this conversation. Did he have perception to read her heart? “So what are you talking about?”
“Horace Johnstone.” After pronouncing the name, Pastor Oldman stood there as if waiting for her to assimilate what he’d said.
As if I could at this moment. Mr. Johnstone was the one man who had treated her the worst. The memory of how authoritarian he’d been back in Boston made her clamp her teeth on her lower lip. She had tried to tell him what she wanted, but he cast her desires away as just so much garbage and forced his plans on her. The only way to escape from him and keep her daughter safe was to make the long trip across the vast United States to this western territory.
And he called me a thief. She caressed her mother’s cameo, fingering the intricate carving. How could he desecrate something so precious to her with his lies? Did she want to forgive him? No!
After she, Pearl, and the Sneeds settled into the community here, she had been able to push the man out of her mind, thinking she was out of his reach. She could forget that he ever lived. But she hadn’t considered forgiving him.
Then his arrival in Golden had put her off balance. Brought back all those memories of the horrible things he’d said and done to her. After the sheriff arrested him, Maddy finally realized she had changed since she left Boston. Horace Johnstone no longer had any hold on her.
But could she forgive him? That was a hard question.
The words from the sermon tumbled over and over in her mind. To receive God’s forgiveness, she would have to forgive even Horace Johnstone. She didn’t really feel like it, but she could choose to forgive him because God had forgiven her. The Bible hadn’t said anything about having to feel like forgiving the other person. It would have to be a conscious decision. Was this a decision she could make?
Jeremiah stood a short distance from Madeline and Sam Oldman and managed to hear their conversation despite their lowered voices. How could the man expect her to forgive Horace Johnstone after all he’d done to her? Yes, he had preached about forgiveness, but wasn’t this instance beyond what any human could be expected to do?
“Madeline.” The preacher’s gaze never left hers. “Mr. Johnstone asked me to bring you to see him. He wants to beg your forgiveness in person. Do you think you could face him?”
No! Why in tarnation would the preacher ask her to go and put herself through such an ordeal? Jeremiah wanted to step in and tell the man off. Oldman had no right to take her there. She should be protected from men like Johnstone. A jailhouse was no place for a lady like her.
Madeline smiled up at Sam, her gaze never wavering. “After carefully considering all this, I really believe that’s what the good Lord would have me do.”
This time when Jeremiah heard the words the good Lord, they didn’t bother him as they had before. If God wanted her to face the man and forgive him, maybe there was still hope for Jeremiah.
He stepped forward. “I’d like to go with the two of you when you talk to him, Miss Mercer, if I may.”
She looked confused for a moment. Then she nodded, lighting a tiny flame of hope in his heart. “Thank you, Jeremiah. I’d like that…if it’s all right with Pastor Oldman.”
When Madeline glanced toward the parson, he agreed.
“I know they’re working on putting the meal out for all of us, but could we go right now?” Sam stared straight at Jeremiah.
“It’s fine with me.”
“Then that’s settled.” Madeline’s firm tone brought Jeremiah’s attention back to her.
So many things about her that he liked, besides her obvious physical beauty. She was a good mother, she took loving care of Philip, and she had compassion for others. She even showed a surprising strength in this situation.
The two men walked on either side of her. When they stepped off the boardwalk to cross the road, Madeline unfurled her parasol. The New Mexican sun beat down on them, and the lacy fabric shaded her very little from the unrelenting rays. Jeremiah didn’t think that thing really made much difference, but holding it above her head enhanced her beauty. Because her hands were trembling, the ruffles around the edge of the sunshade shook, and she started twirling the handle with nervous fingers. Jeremiah wondered if he should try to talk her out of continuing toward the jail. Would it do any good?
She glanced up at Sam. “How is Mr. Johnstone…really?” Her voice sounded more tentative than it had while they were back at the hotel.
“As I said before, he is a different man from the one that rode into Golden.”
Jeremiah couldn’t let the idea alone. “Do you think he meant it? Or was he just saying what he knew you wanted to hear?”
Madeline cut her eyes up at him, and this time she didn’t look too friendly. “How can you ask that, Jeremiah, without even giving the man a chance? Wouldn’t you want a chance for a new life?”
&n
bsp; He was speechless. How could she know so much about what was in his heart? Yet her question stated exactly what he did want. To be sure he had a chance for forgiveness. But he wasn’t anywhere near ready to offer forgiveness to the two men who’d hurt him the most. His chances weren’t looking too good right now.
“Bill got here ahead of us.” Sam nodded toward the sheriff’s office.
Standing in the doorway, Bill was every inch a lawman. His badge caught the sunlight and shot a glimmer toward them. He even wore his six-guns.
Madeline stepped up on the boardwalk outside the open doorway and snapped her parasol closed. “Hello, Sheriff. I thought I saw you at the service this morning.”
Bill tipped his hat toward her. “You did, Miss Mercer, but when I heard you talking about coming down here, I decided I should look official. Since you want to talk to the prisoner and all.”
The sheriff led them through the doorway. Madeline followed, flanked by Sam and Jeremiah. He didn’t plan on leaving her side during whatever was about to happen in the jail.
Madeline stopped beside the desk and turned to the sheriff. “Are we going to meet in here or in there?” She glanced toward the walls of bars but quickly averted her gaze.
“I don’t want to take the prisoner out of the cell right now.” Bill shifted from one booted foot to the other.
She nodded. “Then Pastor Oldman and I will just go in there.” Since her hands trembled, this firm declaration sounded weak in Jeremiah’s ears.
He moved closer to her. “I’ll go with you too.”
Madeline’s gaze tangled with his, then she stared into his eyes as if she wanted to read his mind. He couldn’t turn away from her assessment if he’d wanted to.
“Thank you, Jeremiah, that will be nice.” Her lilting tones sang in his heart. This woman would be the death of him yet.
Bill unlocked the cell door, and Sam picked up the chair that sat in front of the desk. He dragged it across the wooden floor into the enclosure. “Here, Miss Mercer. You can sit on this. We don’t mind standing.”
While she sat and arranged her skirt, the sweet aroma of flowers filled the cell…and Jeremiah’s head. Finally, she laid the parasol in her lap, holding it with both hands. She appeared so out of place in a jail cell.
Bill pushed the door closed behind them, turning the key with a loud squawk. Then he leaned both arms on one of the crossbars, his eyes scrutinizing every inch of the area.
By the time Madeline was settled, Johnstone stood beside his hard bunk. “You brought quite a group with you, Pastor.”
Sam chuckled. “I did, didn’t I? Hope you don’t mind.”
Johnstone stared at Jeremiah a moment, then looked away. “It’s all right with me, if it’s all right with Miss Mercer.”
The man looked at Madeline, but Jeremiah didn’t see any of the animosity and possessiveness in his expression that he’d exhibited that first day. Maybe this would turn out all right. He sure hoped so.
Sam cleared his throat. “Why don’t I pray before we get started?”
“Sounds good to me, Preacher.” Johnstone bowed his head.
Jeremiah glanced toward Madeline. Her head was bowed, her chin trembling. Everyone had their heads down, except him. So he lowered his but didn’t close his eyes. Didn’t want to give Johnstone a chance to jump them when they weren’t alert. He especially didn’t want the man to touch Madeline in any way. Just because the prisoner had cleaned up for this meeting didn’t mean he wouldn’t try something.
“Amen.” Sam shot a glance toward Johnstone. “It’s all up to you now, Horace.”
The prisoner sank onto the thin mattress of his bunk, making him more on the level with Madeline. He leaned forward with his hands clasped between his knees. If the man got one inch closer to her, Jeremiah was poised to intervene.
“I owe you a number of apologies, Miss Mercer.” His voice took on a husky tone, a surprise to Jeremiah. “I’m not proud of what I tried to do. I knew it was wrong, and I’m sorry I almost messed up your life.”
When he stopped talking, every eye turned toward him, waiting for him to continue. Surely that wasn’t all the man was going to say. Jeremiah knew Johnstone hadn’t said nearly enough to Madeline.
“There’s no excuse for what I did. But I will explain the best I can. When I was young, I was orphaned. Lived in a stable. Took care of the horses.” Johnstone cleared his throat, and Jeremiah caught a glimpse of moisture gathering in the corners of his eyes. “I was teased and bullied…a lot. You can just imagine what they did with my first name. Horsey, Horse Boy, and other more unsavory names. I hated it, and all I wanted to do was become powerful enough that no one could ever intimidate or torment me again.”
Johnstone rose to his feet and strode across the small distance to the barred window. He stared out as he continued, “I worked hard until I finally was nearing the prize.” He turned to look at Madeline, who hadn’t taken her eyes off the man. “Your father hired me and gave me a responsible job. I planned to work myself into a partnership. He was getting older, and he didn’t have a son. I wanted to make myself indispensable to him.”
Madeline’s posture stiffened, her hands clasping the folded parasol so tight her knuckles whitened. Jeremiah wished there was something he could do to keep her from being disturbed by this man. He wanted to smash Johnstone’s face against the adobe wall. Instead he took a deep breath and released it gradually.
“Before I could do that, your father dropped dead.” The poison of the stark words hung in the air.
Madeline gasped. Tears slipped down her cheeks. She dropped her head and pulled a hanky from her sleeve to pat them away.
“I’m sorry to bring up your grief again, but you have to know why I was trying to force you to marry me. That was the only way I’d ever get my hands on his business…and enough money to make me powerful.” He stopped and slumped against the wall, all the starch gone out of him.
Madeline raised her head to a regal height. “I knew you didn’t love me, Mr. Johnstone. I just couldn’t imagine why you would want to marry me.”
“What I want to know, Miss Mercer, is…could you ever forgive me for what I did? I didn’t mean to scare you. Or make you leave everything you know and run so far away. For that I’m truly sorry.” He stood, dejection in every line of his face and body.
Madeline stood. “I came here, Mr. Johnstone, because I believe God would have me forgive you. I don’t feel like it, but I choose to do so.”
The surprise in Johnstone’s expression would have been almost comical, if Jeremiah hadn’t been mad at the man for hurting Madeline.
“Now, Pastor Oldman, Jeremiah”—she glanced from one man to the other—“I’d like to go eat dinner, wouldn’t you?”
“But I’m not finished, Miss Mercer.” Johnstone tried to approach her, but Jeremiah stepped between them. “I need to tell you what else I did.”
“Don’t push your luck, Mr. Johnstone.” The firmness in her tone was like a rock. “I have forgiven you, but don’t try my patience. I will tell you this, though. What you planned for evil in my life, God intended for good, and coming to Golden has been a wonderful thing for me.”
Bill unlocked the door, and Madeline led the way from the cell. She continued out into the street and unfurled that parasol. Without saying another word, she headed up the middle of the road toward the hotel.
“I certainly hope there’s still some food left for us.” Her words floated back toward Jeremiah and Bill.
Even though she was a tiny woman, her pace made Jeremiah lengthen his stride to keep up with her. He admired her and the strength of her belief in God. But more than that, he allowed the small flame of hope in his heart to grow. If a man like Johnstone could be forgiven, maybe Jeremiah should learn even more about God, who could make a person strong enough to offer that kind of forgiveness.
Right after dinner he needed to talk to Philip.
Chapter Twenty-five
Every step Maddy took toward the hotel br
ought her a sense of relief. Strength gradually returned to her trembling limbs. While Pastor Old-man and Jeremiah chatted, she mulled over all that had happened.
Maddy had dreaded the meeting with Mr. Johnstone more than she’d ever dreaded anything, but the event was far different from what she imagined. Parts were really hard to take, but she could understand, a little bit, why he’d done what he did. That didn’t make it right. And that’s not why she forgave him. Only the love of the Lord had helped her do that. But in another way, she had a hard time not pitying the man. Evidently, he never knew what it was like to have true friends. How sad. Where would she be without her friends? Perish the thought.
Dinner at the hotel was wonderful. She could relax and enjoy herself with friends who had been nothing but good to her. They accepted her for who she was. And they liked her. What a relief.
She heaped delicious food on her plate before she sat down. Later, while she helped the women clean up, she couldn’t remember what she ate. But she remembered the shared conversations. The fellowship had been much more important than the meal. It satisfied a hunger no food could touch. Having faced the difficult decision to offer forgiveness to Mr. Johnstone and coming through unscathed made her feel stronger. She was truly blessed.
Jeremiah jumped right in and helped the men set the room back the way it needed to be for the rest of the week. Now he was heading out the door with Philip.
Maddy hurried over and gave the old miner a big hug. She loved him more than any man alive. Almost as much as she’d loved her dear father.
Jeremiah hovered over them with a smile. “I need to get Philip up to his house. He looks really tired.”
“Don’t go talkin’ ’bout me like I’m not here.” The humor in Philip’s eyes belied his gruff statement. “’Sides, I’m never too tired fer a hug from a pretty lady.”
He gave Maddy a saucy wink, so she kissed him on his cool, leathery cheek.
Love Finds You in Golden, New Mexico Page 22
