Maddy decided she liked this courting. She’d never been touched by a man so much, and every time she liked it more than the time before.
After two hours, they had divided everything Philip owned into piles. Some things weren’t worth keeping—like those letters answering his newspaper ad. Looking at all the envelopes stacked on the table, Maddy marveled at how God made her letter prick Philip’s heart. There were so many others. No reason to save them—except the ones she wrote. She reached toward the first stack, planning to find them.
“You looking for these?” Jeremiah held two envelopes in his hand, and his gentle gaze touched her heart.
“How did you know?” she whispered.
“I thought we should keep these, even though we’re throwing away all the rest.” He shoved them into the shirt pocket over his heart.
Maybe they meant as much to him as they did to her.
They packed the keepsakes into the trunk and also had a stack of things to let Pastor Oldman have on hand to give to people who needed them.
Maddy swept and mopped the floor. Jeremiah took the clothing and linens that needed washing to the Chinese laundry at the other end of town. He hadn’t wanted her to have to take care of them. She could have her wash done by someone else all the time if she wanted to. She’d have to think about that.
When they went to the hotel for lunch, Sarah had already put Pearl down for her nap in the room she shared with Frank. After they were through eating, Maddy went upstairs and finished packing while Jeremiah took down the first trunk.
In the time she’d been in Golden, she’d amassed several things. With the crib she had up at Philip’s house, now her house, and the one in the hotel room, they had more than they needed. She decided to seek Sarah’s advice.
“What should I do with the extra crib?”
“You could leave one with Frank and me. We’ll want the sweet little thing to spend time with us, as if we were her grandparents.” She twisted the corner of her apron.
Maddy hugged her. “You are all the grandparents she will ever have. So I believe I’ll do just that.”
With that problem taken care of, she returned to the hotel room in time to stuff the rest of their belongings into the last trunk before Jeremiah came to take it away. She followed him out to the wagon and watched him heft the heavy luggage up on his shoulder before setting it in the bed of the wagon. His muscles rippled against his shirt. She praised the Lord for bringing such a strong man into her life. Strong. Wise. A lover of Jesus. And he’ll make me a wonderful husband. What more could she ask for? Nothing at all.
The wagon creaked under its heavier load as they drove up the hill. She leaned against Jeremiah, one hand through the crook of his elbow and her other on his upper arm. With each movement, she felt his muscles bunch and release. Tingling started deep within her. She didn’t know anything about being married, but being next to him made her long for the day she’d know everything it meant to have someone to love. Maddy wanted to be the best wife in the world for Jeremiah.
He pulled on the reins to stop the horses. “So, Madeline, do you want your things in the room Philip had built for you, or will you move into the other bedroom?”
“I don’t think I could sleep in there. I’d keep remembering that last time we spent with him. How he could hardly talk. How weak he was. Just put my trunks in the other room.”
He helped her down from the wagon, and his hands remained on her waist longer than necessary. She enjoyed the feeling. When he finally moved away, she wanted them back. But enough of thoughts like that. She had work to do.
When the house was finally the way she wanted it, she stood staring out the window that overlooked the desert. No flowers at this time of summer, but beauty still prevailed. Scattered brush and scrubby trees filled her view along with the purple outline of that mountain range in the distance. So different from back East, but artistic in its own way.
Jeremiah came up behind her. He pulled her back against his chest and held her within his arms. He kissed the top of her head then turned her around and stared into her eyes. Unspoken communication flowed between them. She held nothing back, and neither did he. The abundance of love she read on his face and in the depths of his dark, sparkling eyes almost overwhelmed her.
“I love you, Madeline.”
Maddy hadn’t realized just how much weight those three words carried as they winged their way to her heart, suffusing it with indescribable sensations completely foreign to her. For a moment, she couldn’t catch her breath. She stared into those fathomless eyes, trying to express with her own just how much he meant to her.
“I love you too, Jeremiah.” Her words started tentatively but gained strength.
His lips skimmed across her forehead. Each touch sent flashes of heat through her veins. Then he tenderly kissed the corners of her mouth, teasing her, not really settling on her lips. He tasted of her chin, and she dropped her head back, reveling in the sensations that tingled all the way to her toes.
When his lips trailed down the length of her neck, her breathing deepened. Then he settled on the hollow of her throat where she felt her pulse beat like the wings of a hummingbird. He tasted of her, awakening sensations she’d never imagined.
Finally, his lips settled on hers again. Firmly. Giving and receiving a depth of love beyond her wildest dreams. Desire swept through her like a raging fire, beautiful and fearful at the same time. She yearned to find new ways to express her love to him, not able to imagine another way.
When he lifted his face from hers, she felt bereft, as if something important was missing. She pulled him to her once more, but this time she initiated the kiss. Then awkwardness seeped in ever so slightly. She stepped back at the same time he did.
“Maddy, my Maddy.” His husky voice played a symphony on her heartstrings.
“No one but my mother and father ever called me that.”
“Then I won’t, if it brings sadness.”
“I want you to. I always think of myself as Maddy.”
He hugged her close and drew her head against his chest. She could feel the gallop of his heartbeat in tandem with hers. “It’ll be my special name for you in our private moments, Maddy.”
The sound of her name on his lips sealed her love to him forever.
“How long will I need to court you, Maddy, before we can be married?”
She had no idea. She couldn’t even think. His love had captured her so completely.
As soon as Jeremiah took Maddy back to the hotel, he left for the ranch. He needed to get away from her and the deep longings she stirred in him. He had to clear his head and plan how he could spend time with his beloved without desiring her so much it hurt.
She had responded to his love in ways he hadn’t imagined. Ways that inflamed his desire, but not in a bad way. He knew God would want them to feel this kind of pure desire for each other, but he didn’t want his human longings to lead them down a road they shouldn’t take.
Being with Maddy made him feel alive as never before. She brought out the protector in him, and he respected her above every woman he’d ever known—even his mother. He’d loved his mother, but because she’d died when he was very young, he didn’t know enough about her to respect her as much as he did Maddy.
Jeremiah kept every lamp in his house lit. He paced from room to room, reliving the moments he’d spent with her in his arms. In the middle of the night, when he couldn’t fall asleep, he went out to the woodpile and started chopping. By the time he quit, he had enough to last a month. He’d hoped it would make him tired enough to finally sleep.
Every time he closed his eyes, Maddy was there. Her pure spirit. Her beautiful face. Her kisses that lit a fire in him that he couldn’t quench.
He went out to the shower. Even several minutes under the cold stream didn’t help. Finally, he picked up Philip’s Bible, which Maddy had given him, hoping some of the writing in the margins would give him the direction he needed so he could read the right verse
s.
Poring over page after page, he couldn’t find anything that applied. There was only one other place to go for help. Finally, he dropped to his knees beside a chair and prayed. Longer and harder than he’d ever done before. He begged God to guide him in this matter.
When the peace finally settled in his mind and heart, he closed his eyes for just a moment.
T-Bone clanging the bell for breakfast woke him. His whole body felt stiff and creaky, but his spirit contained peace.
He shaved, dressed, and went out to eat with the ranch hands. Then he gave the orders for the day before heading into Golden. Anxious to see Maddy, he rode straight to the adobe. No one answered his knock.
He opened the door and walked in calling her name. No one was in the house. He knew it was too early for Maddy to have fed Pearl, dressed her, and gone somewhere else.
Something was wrong.
He had to find her.
Chapter Thirty
Maddy had just finished dressing Pearl when a sharp rap on the hotel room door caught her attention.
“Madeline, are you in there?”
Jeremiah! He sounded almost frantic. She strode to the door with Pearl resting on her hip. When she opened it wide, her eyes feasted on him. His dark hair with that curl falling on his forehead. This time she did reach up and push it back. Their eyes connected. Her hand slid down across his smooth-shaven jaw. A hint of something spicy and sweet clung to him, enhancing his usual masculine aroma.
Had it only been a few hours since she’d seen him? It felt like a week or more, the way she’d missed him.
A perplexed expression slid from his face, replaced by a warm smile. He opened his arms and cocooned Maddy and Pearl inside his embrace. She lifted her face to him, and he brushed his lips across hers. Then he transferred his kisses to the baby’s forehead. Her daughter laughed and wiggled until she could look up into his face.
“She loves you too, Jeremiah.”
“I hope so, since I’m going to be her daddy.”
Maddy couldn’t keep from teasing him. “No one has asked me to marry him yet.”
“But you agreed that the courting would lead to marriage.” Confusion brought a hint of pain to his eyes.
“Yes, but I want a proposal.”
He left the door wide open and led her to the chair beside the window. After she was seated, he dropped to one knee beside her.
“I was teasing, Jeremiah.”
“But I’m not.” He kissed the back of her hand. Then he kissed Pearl’s tiny hand, and the baby jabbered happily at him, patting his face with her other one.
“Maddy, will you marry me, and let me be a father to your daughter, Pearl?” He pressed a kiss on the baby’s cheek.
She took a deep breath. “Of course I will.”
His smile rivaled the sunlight streaming through the window. “And we’ll give Pearl lots of brothers and sisters?”
A slow burn started deep in her belly and spread throughout her limbs as she remembered the kiss they’d shared yesterday. She knew that was just a prelude to what would follow, even if she didn’t understand the details.
“I hope so.” Maddy leaned forward and kissed him square on the mouth.
He stood and lifted her from the chair. “Now, are you going to tell me why you’re in this hotel room when you have a perfectly good house up on the hill? I went there first, and it worried me when you weren’t there.”
She stepped away from him. “I took Pearl up there, and she was fine for a few minutes. But she kept looking around as if she were trying to find something. She kept staring at the rocking chair. Then she looked toward his bedroom. I went in there so she could see it was empty. That’s when she started crying and nothing would calm her.”
Jeremiah reached for Pearl and held her close. “You think she misses him?”
“Babies are smart. He’s always been there, and he played with her every day. I tried everything. Put her in the crib. Walked the floor with her. She cried and cried until I brought her back down here.”
He lifted Pearl high and made a silly noise at her. She laughed and drooled on him, her blond curls bouncing around her face.
Jeremiah pulled out his bandanna and wiped his cheek and the baby’s mouth before he kissed her neck, making her laugh even more.
“That’s not all. She’s started teething. When I got to the hotel, Caroline gave me some paregoric to rub on her gums. That helped settle her down, and she slept all night.”
He glanced toward the crib by the wall. “Did you bring this from the house?”
“No. Frank brought the one I left with them into this room.”
Jeremiah jiggled the baby on his hip. “Have you had breakfast?”
She shook her head.
“Well, neither have I. Let’s go down and eat. Then we can take Pearl back up to the house and see if she’s better up there today. We may have to make some different arrangements.” He led the way out the door, talking and cooing to the baby.
What a good father he was going to be.
Jeremiah could get used to sitting across the table, watching Maddy feed Pearl in between taking bites of her own breakfast—her hair a halo around her China-doll face. But this woman wasn’t fragile. Her strength and faith amazed him. Today the warmth in her gray eyes lit up the room. The Lord helped him tamp down his strong desire for her to a manageable level.
And Pearl was a bonus. He hoped God knew what He was doing. He didn’t have any experience being a husband, let alone a father, but he’d do everything he could to be the best.
Maddy gave the baby a tiny bit of eggs, then glanced at him. “What are you thinking about? You look so serious.”
He rested his hands on the table. “I understand the great responsibility that rests on my shoulders, and I want to be the best husband for you and father for Pearl and our other children.”
One hand reached toward his arm and clasped it. “I believe in you, Jeremiah.”
Those words dove deep into the final pool of insecurity that hid in the back of his heart, scattering it. Bringing light to even that far corner. Maddy would be very good for him. He could do no less for her.
“Are you finished?” He stood and reached for Pearl.
She came eagerly into his arms, so trusting too.
Maddy laid her napkin beside her plate and gracefully rose. He liked her in the colorful dresses she’d been wearing, but even the gray one this morning swished around her, setting off her pleasing form. “Are we going up to the house?”
“I think we should.” He placed his hand on the small of her back, and they walked out into the sunlight. “Would you like me to get the wagon?”
“No, I enjoy the walk, especially since you’re carrying Pearl.”
“Hey! Jeremiah—” Mr. Skinner’s loud shout carried up the street. The owner of the mercantile stopped sweeping the boardwalk in front of his store and leaned on the handle of the broom. “Heerd you was gettin’ married. That right?”
Might as well have been a public announcement, because everyone who was out stopped to see what was going on.
Jeremiah glanced down at Maddy. She blushed but didn’t look upset.
He tipped his hat toward the storekeeper. “Sure is.” Then he turned back toward the adobe.
All the way up the road, Maddy commented on the various plants and trees, the early morning sunshine, even a lone hawk sailing across the cloudless sky. Pearl chewed on his collar and played with the buttons on his shirt. He felt like a family man already.
Maddy led the way into the house. Pearl’s babbling and laughter stopped. No matter where he went in the room, she turned her head to look at the rocking chair. Her face slowly crumpled, and she stuck out her bottom lip. Then she whined before bursting into tears.
He patted her back and walked to the window, talking to her and pointing out everything he could see. She stopped wailing but continued to whimper. Then she looked over his shoulder and started crying again.
Maddy f
ollowed them as he walked to the kitchen and back. He went into the bedroom where all of Maddy’s and Pearl’s things were already unpacked.
Pearl kept looking back over his shoulder and crying like her heart would break. He didn’t know what else to do. Her crying was breaking his heart too. When he turned around, he saw tears in Maddy’s eyes.
He leaned his head close to her ear. “This isn’t working.”
“I know.” She took Pearl from his arms and stood rocking her from side to side.
The baby dropped her head on Maddy’s shoulder, but she didn’t stop crying.
“Ready to go back to the hotel?” He lifted Pearl into his own arms and ushered Maddy out the door.
The walk to the hotel was accompanied by the baby’s tears. If he couldn’t comfort her, what kind of father would he be?
Sarah met them in the lobby. “Here, let me take her up to our room and give her a bottle.”
When Sarah cuddled Pearl, the baby settled against her chest and stopped crying.
“Before you go—” Maddy stopped her friend. “Now that you and Frank have resources to do what you want to, are you going back to Boston?”
Sarah shook her head. “You’re all the family we have. We want to stay here near you, and we’ll be like grandparents to this wee one…and any other babies you have.” Merriment twinkled in Sarah’s eyes.
“Aren’t you tired of living in the hotel?” Jeremiah had to ask.
“Well, there is that house up near the one Philip left to Maddy. We could see about buying that place.” She started up the stairs but stopped on the second step and turned around. “We really haven’t decided anything yet.”
Jeremiah took Maddy’s hand and pulled her into the empty parlor. He had an idea, but first he wanted one thing. He turned her into his arms and pulled her close. “I love you, Maddy.”
The last word he whispered against her lips before settling his where they belonged. Her honeyed sweetness thrilled him. He couldn’t let her go. Trailing kisses along her cheeks, he dropped one on each eyelid before returning to taste her lips once again. He’d never before understood the connection between a man and a woman in love. His commitment to her strengthened like a strong rope that was wet when tied together and pulled tighter as it dried. His heart and soul were connected to hers with knots that would never come loose.
Love Finds You in Golden, New Mexico Page 27
