I pulled my hand from hers, practically throwing it away. Standing I paced away, the fury I felt burning in my chest. “What the fuck, Gia? Have you been spying on me? I trusted you, and you fucking stabbed me in the back!” I shouted at her. I got right up into her face, but as mad as I was I didn’t touch her. “You screwed with the wrong man, sweetheart. I don’t know how you got into my desk, but you showed your true colors, and you can pack up your shit and get the hell out of my fucking office.”
She shrank back into the chair, wrapping both arms around her body as if to shield herself to seem as small as she possibly could. When I realized what I’d done, I reached for her, only to be smacked back by Breech, who had come out on the porch when he heard me raise my voice.
“God damn it, what the fuck is wrong with you, Sonny? She’s shaking like a leaf, man. Jiji, take Gia inside now,” he said, keeping his large body between the girls and me. The screen door slammed as they disappeared inside, but Breech didn’t relax his stance.
“Shit, Breech, I’m sorry man, I didn’t mean to lose my cool like that. I wouldn’t have fucking touched her, you know that, right?” I questioned.
“It sure looked like you were going for her, Sonny. What the fuck set you off, man? Can’t you see that girl has it bad for you? Why would you scare off the best thing that’s happened to you in I can’t remember how fucking long? You really are self-destructive, aren’t you?” he lectured.
My temper boiled again. I began to pace, slapping my leather in a desperate search for my smokes, something I hadn’t done since I quit five years ago. “Why would she do this to me?” I roared. “I trusted her with my office and my life, and she betrayed me. I don’t know how she got into my private files, but she knows things she shouldn’t. The only way she could know is if she read those files, so yes, I’m fucking pissed off, and I have good reason to be.” My voice had gotten louder as I talked and the pacing had subsided ‘til I was shouting right in Breech’s face.
Instead of answering me, a voice from behind him, bold as brass, did. “I’ll tell you how, you big fucking ape.”
“Gia, I told you to go inside with Jiji,” Breech said without turning around.
“No, Breech, he wants to know, so I’m going to tell him. Asshole, I was putting files away in your office when I stubbed my toe on that busted drawer on that beautiful desk you have. I saw stars and was cursing a blue streak, then reached down to cradle it when I saw a file sitting under the drawer. I picked it up thinking it was one of the files you had me inputting for taxes and I looked inside. I realized quickly what it was and I didn’t want you to think I was snooping so I shoved it back under the drawer and I left. I didn’t betray you, asshole; I kept your secret, and will continue to keep it because that’s your business, not mine.”
Looking around Breech, I saw an enraged Gia. She was magnificent in her fury. Her face was flushed, her hands balled into fists that rested on her hips. Her lips were pulled back from her perfect white teeth like she wanted to take a bite out of my hide. Small but mighty was the phrase that entered my mind. I smiled involuntarily.
She stomped her foot. “What the hell are you smiling at, you jerk? Ugh, I hate men!” She whipped around, grabbed the screen door, and slammed it as hard as she could as she went back inside.
Breech was trying to hide his smile. I punched him in the arm. “Shut up, motherfucker.”
“Hey, don’t punch me, I didn’t do anything wrong,” Breech said, rubbing his arm. “Go make up with your girl so we can get this show on the road.”
“Oh shit, she’s so pissed at me, I don’t know if she’ll still want to go.”
“Go use that legendary charm, lover boy, and get her back in a good mood. If all else fails, you can get down on your knees and beg forgiveness. Because if she doesn’t go today then I’m going to be hearing it all fucking day from Jiji and the rest of the girls, and then I will make your life a living hell, got me?” Breech punched me as I walked by him to go into the house.
“Damn it, what the fuck was that for?”
“You’re lucky you don’t have time for me to kick your ass for starting something before you had all the answers, shithead.” He made a shooing motion with his hand. “We’re burning daylight, so go get your woman, Sonny.”
I really wanted to hand him his ass, but he was right; I owed Gia an apology. She had listened to my sad tale, and then I fucked it all up by accusing her of spying on me. I really was the asshole she called me. I walked down the hallway, stopping outside her door. I could hear drawers banging and her voice as she talked, calling herself all kinds of fools. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and prepared to ask for forgiveness—and probably get a kick in the teeth for my trouble.
Ten
I heard the door open behind me. I had a suitcase open on the bed, and I was stuffing things in as I dumped drawers and opened my closet. I had a pair of pumps in my hand that Tish had just given me. When I saw Sonny in the doorway instead of Jiji, whom I was expecting, the rage I was feeling at being called a spy came roaring back. The pumps in my hand became a weapon, and before I could stop myself, I flung one and then the other at his head.
He deflected them before they could do any damage, and he rushed me before I could reach for more to reload. He pinned my arms behind my back, holding me loosely in the circle of his arms. “Gia, listen to me, please,” he pleaded.
“Why, so you can call me more names, Sonny, accuse me of yet more espionage? Because I have no honor and needed to go through your private stuff for my own entertainment.”
His face flushed but he didn’t deny what I’d said. “You’re right, Gia, I jumped to conclusions before I had all the facts, and that’s on me. I was so fucking hurt that you could be spying on me that I lost my shit.” He hung his head. “No one knows about my son except for his mother and me. I couldn’t even share that with my brothers.”
My head snapped up so fast I clipped his chin. “Ouch,” I said. “Let go of my hands.” He immediately released me. I rubbed the spot on my head that hit the brick that was his chin. I walked away from him. Turning, I hopped up on the dresser, swinging my legs up ‘til I sat cross-legged. “Your brothers don’t know about your boy, Sonny? I don’t believe that. You guys don’t hold anything back from each other, especially something that monumental.”
He was leaning against a bedpost, his stance casual, but I could feel the tension emanating from him. Lifting his head, he looked me in the eye and confessed, “I couldn’t tell them how badly I fucked up. So bad that the mother of my child felt she had to run away because it was the only way she could think of to protect that boy. I held him once before she ran, and I’ve been trying to find her ever since. He’s five years old, and he’s calling some other man daddy.”
The stark sorrow I saw on his face was more than I could handle. I was off the dresser and holding him before I thought about what I was doing. I wrapped my arms around him and rocked back and forth like I was holding a child. I made soothing sounds, running my hands over his shoulders and back.
He buried his face in my neck and held me tightly. “I’m so sorry, Gia,” he mumbled into my hair.
“Shh,” I said. “This situation runs deep, Sonny. I’m still mad at you for going off like that, but I can sorta understand why you did it.”
He lifted his head from my shoulder. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to go today. But please don’t leave.” He indicated the suitcase on the bed. “You still have your job, and the girls would never forgive me if you left without an explanation.”
I released him and stepped away. “Shit, I promised Sandra I would help her look for something for Murph’s patch party. I have to go. But listen up, mister, this conversation is not over. I’m still pissed as hell, so there will be plenty of groveling happening today, got that?” I poked him in the chest to add emphasis to my words. “I’
m not going to promise that I won’t leave, but I can say that I won’t leave today. Now get out so I can get dressed.” I pointed towards the door.
He turned to leave, stopping with his hand on the door and his back to me. “I’m trusting you with my darkest secret, Gia. Do with it what you will.” Before he walked out the door, he spun around and pulled me into his arms, bending me backward and ravaging my lips. He kissed me with desperation and passion that left me reeling long after he let me go and left, closing the door gently behind him.
It would have been better for my emotions if he slammed the door. I could have used it to fuel the anger I knew I should have been feeling. As hard as I reached for it, the hurt was gone. His kiss and parting words would haunt me for the rest of the day. He was giving me the ammunition to destroy the trust his brothers shared with him. If I was another kind of woman, I could use it to bring him to his knees. Anything I asked for could be mine with this information hanging over his head; he would give it to me to keep his secret.
But he trusted me enough that he believed I would choose to stand with him and not against him. That’s what his kiss told me, even more than his words.
Sinking down on my bed, I wrapped my arms around my body. No one had cared enough about me since my parents died to give me that kind of trust. I grew up with love, had been surrounded by it, fed from it, basked in it ‘til my mother died. I had forgotten what love felt like until Sonny handed it to me when he walked out the door.
Silent tears fell from my eyes. I didn’t even know I was crying until I felt the wetness on my face. Brushing them away, I sucked in a breath and tried to find my center. I’d been knocked off-kilter by what just happened, but I needed to get my act together and quickly.
I closed my eyes and did some deep breathing exercises. It helped. I opened my eyes and felt some peace return to my soul. I knew I could never betray Sonny. The secret we shared would go to the grave with me. I would not be the one that came between him and his brothers. It was up to him to tell them…or not.
I would just be beside him, giving him my silent support…because I knew I was falling in love with him.
As much as he knocked himself for being messed up from the war, I saw him in a different light. The girl who took his son from him might have had some compelling reasons, and he acknowledged he had problems back then. But the man standing here today was only able to because he realized he was going down a dark road, and with the help of the club, he turned it around full circle.
I sighed because I knew I wouldn’t leave. I had found a place I felt was like home for the first time in years, and come hell or high water, I was in it for the long haul.
Eleven
We'd been riding for about half an hour. After we all arrived at the clubhouse, Murph introduced us to his girl Hannah. She was a little intimidated meeting all of us, but she held her own. She kept her chin up and handled it with grace.
We rode out in pairs heading towards the fairgrounds. Gia had been giving me the silent treatment, and the rest of the girls had either turned their backs or flipped me the bird.
Lani had come over and patted me on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, Santino, this too shall pass,” she commiserated with me.
I couldn’t get that last kiss out of my head. I should have been on my knees begging her to forgive my boneheaded move accusing her of spying. I knew better than that, and I knew her, knew she wouldn’t have betrayed me. Instead, I grabbed her and practically molested her. If I had five more minutes, I would have had her clothes off and been fucking her hard and deep.
She went to my head so quickly. She had me by the balls because I wanted her and she knew it, but she never used that knowledge to her advantage. She could have asked for the moon, and I would have tried to hang it for her. When I had her under me in bed, I felt whole for the first time in a long time. Her body fit mine like a glove, which wasn’t easy to do. Without sounding conceited, I knew I was a big man, but she not only took all of me, she asked for more.
Her libido matched mine, and she was smart, funny, and real. She spoke her mind, but wouldn’t hurt a fly. It was fascinating watching her guard Breech with only a hoof pick as a weapon after he was shot. She was up against a group of men who were bigger, stronger, and tougher than she was, but she didn’t back down. I wanted to snatch her to my side and keep her safe. I’d never felt such a rush of emotion for anyone except the one and only time I held my son.
The men I called brothers might have a tough exterior, but when it came to the ones they loved, the ends of the earth wasn’t a long enough road for those trying to do them harm.
My musings came to an end as we rolled to a standstill. The traffic surrounding the fairgrounds had ground to a halt. Cars were everywhere. My phone buzzed with an incoming text.
There is an entrance coming up on the right. If we take that we can cut across to the other side of the fairgrounds and traffic should be lighter.
Fifteen minutes later, we took a right, ending up on a winding path ‘til we came out of the other side of the grounds and found some parking lots. We drove in and parked side by side. The girls were all bouncing with excitement, talking about what to see first. We walked along the fence ‘til we came to the entrance and got in line to buy tickets. Once we all paid and went inside, we decided to split up and meet back later. The ladies wanted to go see that damn pig paint, and the guys wanted to look at the bikes and muscle cars, but everyone wanted to go to the swap meet and craft show.
Gia motioned me over before the girls left. “Can you help me and keep an eye out for anything Murph looks at but doesn’t buy, please? The girls want to get him a gift for the patch party.” She was stiff and unyielding, but at least she was talking to me again.
“I’ll see what I can do, babe.” Her eyes flashed fire at me before she gave me her back and walked away. I watched that fine ass sway ‘til she was out of sight. Breech slapped me on the back, getting my attention.
“I don’t know what you did to get back in her good graces, but whatever the fuck it was, thank God, because Jiji would have given me grief all fucking day if Gia didn’t come.” Dukes and Fighter laughed at his comment. “What’s so fucking funny, you assholes? Your women would have given you just as much grief as mine would have given me,” Breech said.
We spent a couple hours walking through the grounds looking at the bikes that were entered into the auction. We caught up with the girls and stopped at the vendors for some awesome sausage and pepper heroes. Jiji bought some deep-fried Twinkies and made us all try them. Way too sweet for my taste, but I dutifully ate the piece she gave me.
We headed over to the swap meet after that, and I showed Gia the gas cap cover and matching shift linkage Murph had admired. She purchased both and quickly hid them in her knapsack. Catching Sandra’s eye, Gia gave her the thumbs-up. Sandra winked, telling Gia she got the message.
The craft fair was up next. The booths were packed with handmade crafts that had the girls opening their wallets and stuffing their backpacks. I saw Gia eyeing a pair of drop earrings with some kind of purple stones. She sighed, checked her wallet, but ultimately turned away from the booth. We wandered around for a while then the girls got in a line for the ladies’ room.
Excusing myself from the group, I went back to the booth where Gia had seen the earrings and bought them, along with a matching ankle bracelet. Stuffing the little pouch in my pocket, I hurried back. The girls were still in line, and the guys were drinking beers. Murph handed me a cold bottle, which I gratefully accepted and drank. The cold liquid slid down my throat, quenching my thirst.
“Thanks, man, this is just what I needed.”
He smiled. “Yeah, it’s been a good fucking day, hasn’t it?”
I smiled back. “Still having a hard time accepting it, Murph? Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.”
His smile grew. “Y
ou got that right. Being a part of the Devil’s Wind is something I’ve wanted for-fucking-ever. My ol’ man smacked me and my mom around when I was a kid. I never really had a family until I met you guys. You’ve been more family to me than my own ever was or is.”
“These guys have had my back through war, women, and everything in between. Now that you’re one of us, we’ll have your back forever, man.”
I clinked my bottle against his, and we drank. The ladies walked up right then with Lani leading the way. “You guys ready for the carnival? We want to ride the bumper cars, and Dukes is going to win me the unicorn I want.”
It was fucking hysterical watching my friends try and fit in those little cars. We had a blast chasing the girls around and bumping into each other, trying to knock the other guy out of the car. As the night closed in, we got tickets to ride the huge Ferris Wheel. I opened the door of the gondola and let Gia in, taking the seat next to her. The wheel started to rise, stopping to load passengers.
“Still not talking to me, Gia?” I questioned.
She turned to look at me. “You didn’t think I was going to get over being mad that fast, did you, Sonny? If you did, then you are bound for disappointment.”
“Gia, I don’t expect you to forget what I said, I’m just asking you to understand why I said it. I’m a fucking asshole, I get it, but even an asshole deserves a second chance.”
“Sonny, I’ve lived through a ton of shit between my parents’ deaths and being dumped in the system. But the one thing I pride myself on is being truthful. I don’t lie worth a damn—I suck at it, so I don’t do it. Therefore, I expect the people who are the closest to me to not lie to me either. Drake was not the worst foster I’d ever been with. He might have knocked me around when he got drunk, but he always told me the truth. He used money that Brom paid him to pay off my case worker to keep me at the farm, so I was somewhat protected. Second chances are not high on my list; I learned early that once the shine comes off there usually is just rot underneath.”
Sonny's Surrender_Devil's Wind_Book 3 Page 6
