“Goodness, yes,” she admitted emphatically. Trying to sit up, she found Hidden Doe suddenly at her side, helping her as she struggled to sit up. “I am so weak,” she said apologetically.
“I’m glad you are okay, Sister,” Hidden Doe said quietly.
“Me, too.”
Looking around, she noticed the brown grasses that surrounded them and the lack of trees nearby. The snow was gone and there were only four of them around the small fire. This was an odd place to camp. “Did we cross the river?” Seeing Hidden Doe look away, she realized something was wrong.
“Daniel, did we fall behind of the others? How far behind are we?” she asked, hearing the wobble in her voice. “Where is my family?”
“You need to get your strength back so you can travel.” She stared at his face, trying to read him, but he was expressionless. His golden-brown eyes met hers but gave away nothing. The lines of strain on his face under his eyes were telling.
“How far have we travelled?”
“We are on the border of Texas. You’ve been sick for several days now. I was concerned you might die from the pneumonia you had. We have ridden far with few stops along the way.”
“Texas? Is that where the People are headed to?”
“No, they are going to reservations in Oklahoma.”
“Why are we not joining them?”
“Because Taylor and I can’t now.”
“Why?”
“We left during the attack to protect you. The Army would say we deserted and shoot us.”
“What attack? Where is my family?”
“Colleen,” he began and she lashed out heatedly at him.
“Don’t call me that! My name is Little Fire. Colleen disappeared when my family died long ago. Colleen O’Mara is gone.”
“Well, you had best find her again because…” Daniel snapped angrily and stopped. Running a hand through his hair, he looked away from her troubled face. “You can’t be called Little Fire where we are going. You’ll need to change into different clothing when you can. Hidden Doe has chosen to go by a different name in her new home. She is calling herself Maria and will need you to call her that as well. We aren’t going to Oklahoma.”
“What? I don’t understand. What attack?” she asked, feeling sick to her stomach. “Hidden Doe?” she asked, turning to her sister who stood and walked away. She saw her kneeling by the fire, silently preparing a small plate of food. The expression on Lieutenant Taylor’s face was telling as he stared at Hidden Doe, concerned. “Daniel?”
“There was an attack where we were camped. The locals broke into the camp and started shooting. You were so sick.” His voice shook for a moment and he cleared it. “You were near death already and I couldn’t leave you to die. It was wrong – all wrong. I took you away from there before they got to you.”
“You left my family there to be killed?” she asked angrily, feeling tears spill onto her cheeks. “Daniel, you left them!”
“Your chief told you to go. I couldn’t carry them all, so I had to make a choice.” The silence between them seemed to go on forever as she stared at him, aghast that he could have left someone to die. “We left. The four of us.”
“Get away from me,” she breathed angrily, staring at him. She could feel her temper surging at the betrayal she felt. So many people gone, so many lives. They had lovingly rescued her once before. Now, he had taken that opportunity from her, that choice. Her fists clenching weakly, she kept them by her sides knowing that it would do nothing to bring them back if she attacked him. He had betrayed the growing kindness and affection between them to leave her family to die. “Get away and stay away from me, Lieutenant.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said simply and got to his feet. “I am sorry, Colle–”
“Don’t call me that,” she bit out between ground teeth. “Don’t even speak any of my names. Don’t speak to me at all.”
Chapter Nine
January 1839
Little Fire cried silently as she lay near the fire. Her heart was breaking and so many thoughts were going through her head. Hidden Doe – Maria – had brought her a plate of food, but she just pushed it away. Didn’t she miss them, her own family? Or had she already had time to mourn and say goodbye?
The chasm between herself and the others was quite telling. She had adamantly refused to ride on the horse with Daniel the next day, slowing them down tremendously. He walked silently beside the horse, guiding it while she sat atop the horse and stared daggers into his back. She felt wounded and was lashing out in the only way she knew how. She wanted him to hurt like she did, deep inside.
They came to a stop late in the day, finally, near a creek that was sheltered by trees. She slapped his hands away as he offered to help her off the horse. At this, Daniel walked off towards Taylor. He said something, causing the other man to nod in agreement, and then Daniel left.
“Where did the traitor go?” she bit out nastily.
“He went hunting,” Taylor said quietly, gathering up sticks to make a fire. Hidden Doe dismounted and began to help him. She felt surrounded by people that simply didn’t understand how she felt.
“Good. The lieutenant’s good at killing things,” she muttered and was surprised at the anger that suddenly crossed the other soldier’s face directed at her.
“You have no idea what you are saying, so I am gonna let that slide. I get it, you’re upset!” Taylor said angrily. Hidden Doe walked up behind him and lay a hand on his shoulder, calming him instantly. She stared at them in disbelief, feeling betrayed.
“It was our family, Hidden Doe!”
“It’s Maria now,” she said quietly. “My father said change was coming and I trust in him.”
“He’s gone because…” Little Fire stopped, she couldn’t say the words again. “Leave me to mourn the people that loved me, the ones that would have done anything for me.”
“What makes you think that Daniel Williams didn’t give up everything for you?” Taylor bit out quickly. “He gave up his career, his pride when the others taunted him for being an Indian-lover, and now his safety.”
“What do you mean?”
“He gave his guns and ammunition to your family so they could defend themselves. Basically, he armed the supposed enemy for you.” He stopped, taking a deep breath, and looking aggravated. “And now, he refuses to take the only gun we have. Simply because he told me to make sure you were safe. He is out there trying to find food with only a knife and a snare.”
“He’s unarmed?”
“Yes. Everything we have done in the last week, hell, the last few months, has been out of character and wrong,” he breathed, looking chagrined momentarily until Hidden Doe crouched down beside him to hold his hand. He brought her knuckles to his lips with a tender smile for her alone. “Wrong, but so right. I can’t imagine doing things differently.”
Little Fire felt like an intruder seeing the tender moment between them. She was surprised at the true affection she saw in her sister’s eyes and heard in his words. She also felt incredibly remorseful. Perhaps, her family had made it since they had been armed with Daniel’s gun. Maybe that was why Hidden Doe had made any transition so easily. She wasn’t mourning, she truly believed they were alive.
“Why aren’t you out helping him if you have the only gun?” she interrupted, seeing Taylor whispering to Hidden Doe.
“Didn’t you hear me? One of us has to stay here with you to protect you,” he reminded her, rolling his eyes.
“Go help Daniel,” she ordered, seeing the approval in Hidden Doe’s eyes. “Go. We can take care of ourselves.” He stared at her for a moment, then climbed up on the saddled horse and rode off.
Once he had left on horseback, Little Fire turned to Hidden Doe in surprise. “Joel Taylor? You are interested in him?”
“He has been nothing but kind to me,” she replied meekly, blushing. Hidden Doe had always been very quiet, shy and kept the best secrets in the village. It was not a shock that Hidden Doe had not told her. It wa
s more the fact that she was developing a relationship with a man that her father might not approve of. There would be no one ever good enough for Chief Mighty Banner’s daughter – much less a soldier that had taken them from their homes.
“I’m glad he is nice to you. Come, help me gather water to heat so we can clean up. I haven’t had the chance to bathe in weeks but can’t bring myself to wade into the cold stream.”
“No, and I wouldn’t recommend it. You are still recovering,” she agreed.
“I know. I’d like to wash the ash from my hair, I think,” Little Fire admitted quietly. If there was to be change for a new life, she would try her best to embrace it. If these men had given up their livelihoods and careers in order to make sure they were safe, the least she could do would be to not be a burden.
“I think, perhaps, you are right,” Hidden Doe agreed quietly. “I probably need to wash the bear grease from mine as well and wear it different if I am to be a Texan by the name of Maria, instead of the People. My dark skin and braids give away my heritage easily.”
“That, and our buckskin.”
“We have nothing else,” she protested.
“Not yet. But that can be changed when we come across a town. But we will need to do it looking like we fit in.”
“Agreed.”
Heading down to the creek, Hidden Doe filled the only pot with water and put it over the fire that Taylor had started. Little Fire sat down on the ground near where the knapsacks lay. Opening them, she peered inside to see if there was anything resembling soap. The grease would be hard enough to remove in the cold water, much less lacking anything to wash it with. She found a small sliver of strong lye soap wrapped in a piece of cloth. Holding it up triumphantly, she saw that Hidden Doe was already unbraiding her long hair. She began to do the same, grimacing at how dirty it felt. This might not be the best idea after being so ill, but she couldn’t explain how filthy she felt.
The women took turns kneeling by the bank of the creek washing their hair. Shivering, Little Fire dunked her head while Hidden Doe washed and scrubbed at the mass of red that was slowly being revealed. Two more times finally had her free of grease and ash. She returned the favor, washing Hidden Doe’s dark hair and marveling at how it looked like a black waterfall cascading from her head. They grinned at each other’s accomplishments as they squeezed the water from their hair.
“I didn’t remember your hair being so red, Little Fire. It’s been covered for so long,” Hidden Doe said with a gentle smile.
“I had the same thought when you rinsed the soap out,” she grinned. “You know your hair looks like it’s so smooth when it’s wet?”
“Yours looks like a pig’s tail. All curly.”
“It look’s bad?” she asked, panicked.
“No! No, not at all. I have only really seen it braided and black. Not down loose and curly red.”
“Let’s find a comb and braid it back, Hidden Doe,” she begged quickly, feeling extremely self-conscious at the difference. It had been years since the red had been revealed and she was feeling antsy at the change.
“Leave it down and call me Maria, remember? But yes, you need a comb.”
The water was near boiling and Little Fire wished she had waited to use the warm water. Her hair was chilly against her back, causing her to shiver. She sat close to the fire and began to pick the tangles from her head with a small wooden comb that was in the pack.
“Maria” took the comb from her and quickly did her hair first, then began tackling the snarls in her sister’s thick, red hair.
Hearing a noise nearby, both women slowly moved to arm themselves. Little Fire grabbed a large knife that she had found in a casing in the pack, while her sister grabbed a stick from the fire that glowed at the end. Silently, they waited and saw Taylor’s blond head emerge from the tree line. The horse walked beside him and, draped across it, were two large jackrabbits.
“Where is Daniel?”
“He said he’d return later after you ate. Personally,” Taylor said with a grin, “I think the man is pouting. You two ladies look nice! Aren’t you cold?” he asked, noticing that they had washed their hair. It was sweet to see that he only had eyes for the newly-dubbed Maria. Tearing his eyes away from her, he looked at Little Fire with a knowing expression. “I don’t think the man will budge until he realizes you aren’t mad at him.”
“You didn’t tell him?”
“No. You never said to,” he said shrugging. “Guess it’s up to you. Maria, want to help me with these fellas?” He grabbed the rabbits off the pommel and pulled a knife to begin the gruesome work ahead. Waving it towards the trees, he announced, “Oh, and Little Fire? He’s in that direction.”
Chapter Ten
Walking silently, Little Fire pulled the fur wrap closer in order to keep warm. The sun was gone now and while they were further south, the temperatures were still extremely cold. It was just not as bitter as it had been up north. She was glad the snow was gone and hoped to not see it again any time soon. Stepping carefully, she walked along, glancing right and left for any sign of where Daniel was. Taylor said he was over this way, but she hadn’t spotted him as of yet.
Feeling a hand grasp her upper arm, she yelped in surprise. Daniel had gotten the one up on her, even though she had grown up tracking others.
“You scared me!” she breathed and was dismayed that he let go of her arm so quickly.
“You shouldn’t be out here alone.”
“I’m not alone.”
“Aren’t you afraid I am going to let something happen to you, like what I let happen to your family?” he asked in a bitter tone.
“No. No, I’m not because you didn’t give me a chance or tell me all of what was going on.”
“There was nothing to tell.”
“Nothing? How about the fact that you gave them your guns, your ammunition? You did it so they would have had a fighting chance.”
“Been talking to Taylor, huh?”
“A bit,” she snapped. “It was more like he was talking at me instead of to me.”
“If he was rude to you…”
“What? He’ll be in trouble for telling me the truth? For telling me how it is?”
“I’ll deal with his big mouth,” he muttered, running a ragged hand through his hair as he looked away from her.
“You’ll thank him for me then!” she barked and then sighed in frustration. “You’ll thank him, because if he hadn’t told me, I don’t think you would have since I was so angry.”
“Did you really think that I would leave them to die?” he asked quietly. The wounded timbre of the words spoken said more than the words could have. The silence between them was deafening. His pride was hurt that she could think so little of him. Little Fire had no idea that he put value in her. Perhaps Taylor was right. But whatever had she done to even pique his interest, it had been extremely flattering over the last several months and he seemed to be so tender, so good.
“No, I mean… I didn’t think so, and that was what hurt the most. I thought I was getting to know you better than that,” she admitted openly. “I really liked who I was getting to know.”
Daniel looked at her and smiled in the darkness. “Your hair is red, huh?”
“Very much so,” she admitted.
“It’s a sign of your temper, I guess?”
Laughing, she smiled warmly at him. “How do you think I got the name Little Fire?”
“Maybe you should tell me.”
“Let’s return to the fire and I will tell you,” she said, shivering and pulling the furs up over her shoulders.
“I’d rather us have a bit of time alone, if you aren’t too cold,” he said, reaching out to touch a curly strand. “It’s lovely and suits you better than the black.”
“Thank you.”
“Sit with me,” he invited, sitting near a large tree. “Sit and tell me how you got your name.” Taking a seat nearby, she gingerly sat down and was surprised when he pulled her close to
him. He adjusted the large fur and covered them both, wrapping his arm around her.
“That’s better. I think it will be warmer for both of us.” She waited several minutes, just listening to his heartbeat. It seemed so foreign to be held by a man, a handsome man she was attracted to. She found herself relaxing as the warmth of his body began to seep into her.
“When I found my family dead, I had wandered for days until Hidden Doe found me. She fed me, took my hand and led me to their village,” she began.
“How old were you?”
“I think I was nine? Maybe? I was so very young. She took me to the village and they, I guess, had never seen such red hair before. I remember my mother’s hair was a brilliant reddish-orange shade that reminded me of the sun. The boys in the village were pulling at my hair. I was hungry, tired and scared. I got really mad,” she admitted sheepishly.
“I bet you did,” he chuckled, his chest rumbling under her head. “What did you do?”
“I yanked out a knife from my belt and cut off a braid. I threw it at one of the boys, screaming. The chief called me Little Fire immediately. He told me that I would stay and teach them our ways, and they would teach me theirs. They were very good to me. They treated me like one of their own.” She found herself swallowing hard at the memory.
“I wonder if they made it,” she whispered. “You’ve done a lot of things that someone else in your position wouldn’t do. Every time I have turned around, you’ve been there and helped me. Food, medicine, blankets. It was extremely kind of you to give them a chance… to give me a chance.”
“I didn’t do it for them.”
“Why did you then?”
“I did it for the beautiful green-eyed woman that captured my attention from the first moment I saw her.” Daniel kissed her forehead and she felt him rest his cheek against her curly hair. “That sassy woman that complained about turnips caught my eye.”
“I do hate turnips,” she said with a gentle laugh.
“Honestly? I do, too,” he admitted. “But I have a soft spot for a feisty-tempered woman.”
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