by Misty Dietz
Maybe it was the pain in his voice and the fact that they were finally alone that made the tears come. “I don’t know.” She wrapped her arms around his trunk, placing her hands over his torn flesh, sending healing through their connection to make his tissues knit together faster.
He squeezed her tightly, his chest rumbling beneath her ear. “You do trust her more then?”
She shook her head, wiping her eyes against his chest. “I don’t know anything right now. I don’t…I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” But she wanted her sister back. Right?
Or did she just not want to feel guilty anymore?
That was sick. And she was awful.
She eased out of Ari’s arms. What if she infected him with whatever was still inside her?
She had to get home to check if Mary was really there.
No! It’s all lies. She was losing her mind. Everything seemed so twisted up, her confusion snowballing with each encounter. When Leviathan was standing in front of her, she so much wanted to believe the archdemon. When Ari spoke, of course she believed him.
Why would she believe the archdemon over Ari? It made no sense. He loved her. Had always loved her. But Leviathan seemed to understand her in a way no one ever had. A shared shame that forged a link she seemed unable to shake.
Ari took her hand, pulling her rapidly toward the club doorway. “It’s the Nephilim blood. It’s creating an artificial bond between you and her,” he said, as though he’d been reading her thoughts. “Come inside now, let’s get you some dry clothes, some food, and some me.”
“What?”
He scooped her closer to his side, walking her inside the club, past the bar where everyone stopped talking to stare at them somberly.
“I come back to see you ready to sell your soul to a devil, so in the aftermath, yes, you’re damn well going to succor me, woman.”
“No, not that, you really think the Nephilim blood is playing with my head? That she’s manipulating me through the toxin?”
He nodded. “It was Raj’s theory. Alexios and I both think it’s accurate.”
She stopped midway down the hallway. Ari paused beside her. It made sense—the weakness, the inability to recharge, the confusion.
Still…what if Mary was really back? If she was, would she ever be able to forgive herself for not checking? If Leviathan was lying, at least Katherine would know once and for all.
She looked at the only man she’d ever truly loved. She’d always thought that love made her weak, but perhaps not. Maybe it gave her strength she never knew she had. She tried to smile to put him at ease. “I need to retrieve something at home. Will you stay here with the team? I’d feel much better knowing you were here.” When it looked like he was going to argue, she rushed to reassure him. “I won’t be long. And I’m sorry. I never should’ve doubted you.”
“We can both go and be back in moments.”
She shook her head. “I need some time alone, okay? Trust me. Please.”
He stared at her. She tried not to blink or show any of the uncertainty that was pummeling her from the inside out.
Finally, he spoke in a firm voice. “Twenty minutes. You take longer than that, and I’m coming for you. Don’t make me regret this, North.”
She was gone before he could change his mind. Or her own.
Chapter 18
Katherine streamed directly to the beach at her house. The salty sea spray coated her face even before she made it halfway to the water where she stopped, her breath coming fast and hard. The ocean called to her, but even for her sister’s memory, she could go no further. The wind pushed at her bun, gouging one of the pins into the base of her skull. She didn’t remove it so the pain could orient her to what was real. Her eyes scanned the horizon and surrounding area for a young girl, which would prove Leviathan wasn’t lying.
It was early afternoon, but the sky darkened with each roll of the waves. They curled forward, one after the other, their frothy white tips burbling as they pushed onto the wet sand. The gray-blue sky blended in with the water, the clouds wispy brush strokes of silver.
Then, a fuzzy blur of white approached on the water.
Katherine’s pulse pounded in her throat, making it difficult to swallow.
A blur of white light. A lantern—held by a shadowy figure that seemed to float on top of the water. A girl in a long-skirted dress with two layers of lace near the hem. The figure continued toward Katherine, her face still in shadows, but that dress…
She’d worn it until her younger sister decided she must have it. Father had forced her to pass it down. A cry slipped from Katherine’s lips. The shadowy form stepped onto the sand and lifted the lantern to illuminate her face.
Oh my God.
Old emotions shuddered to the surface. Katherine’s vision blurred with tears as her hands crept to her neck where her skin burned. “Mary?”
Her sister. The light brown hair, bright blue eyes, the dimpled chin and smooth skin. Another sob broke from Katherine’s throat, but she couldn’t move.
The water.
The waves lapped over Mary’s feet. Climbed up her ankles and washed over her slim calves. Katherine broke into a cold sweat. Mary’s lips quavered as she held out a hand. “Help me, Kitty.”
“C-come away from the water, Mary.”
“You must come to me. I need you to make me whole again.”
No. Please, no. There was no way she could. She was already closer to the water than she could hardly stand. “What is this? How is it possible you’re here?”
“This is your chance to overcome your fear and save me.”
God, her sweet voice. Katherine’s legs shook. Her toes left grooves in the sand as she took one step and then another. Can’t…can’t breathe. Katherine’s knees buckled, dropping her hands-down into the sand. She sucked air into her mouth, trying to focus on her sister through bleary vision. She held out her hand. “Mary, run to me!”
Mary’s eyes widened as the waves began to crest higher. “Please, Kitty, I can’t move! Don’t let me drown!”
How the sun sparkled on the ocean! It was the most beautiful thing Katherine’s eleven-year-old eyes had ever seen. The water felt like heaven, cool and alive against her skin as it push-pulled at her body. She imagined that she and the dozens of other children playing in the water were strands of kelp undulating in the restless waters.
Katherine giggled and yelled at her little sister who watched worriedly from the blanket on the busy beach. She was always so timid when Mother and Father weren’t around. “Come in, Mary, it feels amazing!”
Mary shook her head, the golden tips of her light brown hair shining in the sunlight. “They told us to stay on the beach until they come back. It’s not safe. They’ll be angry, especially Father,” Mary yelled back.
“Balderdash! Look at all these other kids. If it wasn’t safe, their parents wouldn’t let them come in the water. Besides, Father could never be angry at you.” A slash of something ugly swept through Katherine. Lately, Father’s words had been especially harsh. She could do no right, while Mary and their six-year-old brother Paul were angels incarnate. “Don’t be such a chicken, Mary! Mother and Father will be back soon. I’m sure Paul is fine.”
He’d fallen off the merry-go-round at the beach park, out of sight behind the lined up bathing machines that weren’t used much anymore on this beach. Paul’s wails had brought their parents running. Katherine glanced toward the park, but with the bathing machines in the way, she couldn’t see her parents or Paul.
Katherine wondered if they would have made such haste had it been her cries.
When Mary finally gave in to Katherine’s taunting, it happened so fast.
A rip current swept their feet out from under them, severing Katherine’s grip on Mary’s hand.
Katherine came up, gasping, gagging from all the salt water in her mouth.
Mary! Mary!
Don’t let me drown! Kitty, help!
Katherine kicked her legs,
her arms flailing to keep her head above the water. A chorus of screams sounded from the beach and from the panicked people in the water. A young man, his green eyes wide, his lips babbling incoherent words, grabbed her head, shoving her down, trying to climb her like a ladder. Pain, burning. Her lungs. Her eyes, open underwater, seeing blue and silver fish zoom and dart among the thrashing legs.
Then, brown strands of hair like silk ribbon. Mary!
Katherine struggled to swim toward her sister’s limp form, her chest ready to burst as the surface of the water shattered above her in a violence of liquid clouds.
Mary, please, please, please!
She grabbed her sister’s lilac muslin dress and pushed off from the sandy bottom. She broke the surface of the water again, sputtering, pulling her sister by the hair so her face would crest the waves.
Don’t give up.
But the water was so cold, and they were being pushed so far from shore. Help!
Crying. She couldn’t stop.
Swim parallel to the shore mother had told her. But she couldn’t swim and hold Mary.
Another wave. Water poured into her nose and open mouth. She let go of her sister’s hair for a moment.
Her arms grew numb from the cold and exertion.
Her body…heavy.
She couldn’t live if her sister died.
She reached again for Mary’s dress, her fingers grasping the lacy hem. She gathered her sister’s body to her as they both went under, floating down, face up, pushed and pulled by an unseen force, slow, like they had all the time in the world for drowning.
Silver fish. Sea kelp. Bubbles sparkling like the gems on Mother’s fanciful ball gowns.
Savage sounds of the liquid underworld faded. A pregnant darkness wrapped around Katherine like the light dimming as her father closed the closet door with her inside. Alone. Arms wrapped around her knees for hours. All because she’d broken Mary’s doll.
Echoes of her father’s words…You’re only here to protect Mary and Paul. Never leave them. No matter what.
No matter what.
Father had told her.
And so she didn’t.
I’m sorry, she thought as they sank further down into darkness.
They were supposed to have died together.
Instead, Katherine had been pushed out of the neck of the rip current and washed ashore by the breakers, her dead sister tied to the sash on her dress.
The vision faded from her eyes, and Katherine pushed back on her haunches and managed to stand despite her trembling. Mary was now waist-deep in the churning water. Nausea gripped Katherine’s gut. She brought her hand to her mouth, then thrust it toward her sister. “Mary, come!”
She tried settling the water, but her mind was racing, too manic to attempt to control the waves. What good is my element if I can’t control it when I most need to? Thunder clouds built and then flattened, glowing with jolts of electrical energy articulating her wild jumble of fear.
A loud wind roared over the water. Katherine staggered from the force, shielding her face with her hands as a new form rode a wave toward her.
Leviathan.
Katherine shook her head against a creeping fog that blanketed lethargy over her ramping Guardian energy. A conflict inside that made it hard to concentrate on the demon walking the last few yards on the water, continuing past Mary like she didn’t even see her.
But she had to see her. Mary was right there.
Right. There.
And her little sister would drown all over again in moments.
Take me with you. Want to sleep. Sleep and never, ever wake up.
Leviathan held up her hands non-threateningly, and Mary’s form winked in and out like she was superimposed against the ocean’s backdrop.
Katherine’s eyes snapped fully-open. “Oh God! No! What are you doing?”
Leviathan stopped, her hands coming up placatingly. “Shh. I’m not here to hurt you or your sister, Guardian. I felt your pain. It drew me.”
How could she hear Leviathan’s soft voice above the waves and thunder?
Suddenly Mary’s form was gone. Not sucked under by the waves, just…
Gone.
Katherine’s whole body shook. She tried to form words—bring her back!—but she couldn’t get her voice to work. Leviathan pivoted slowly to stand a few feet from Katherine, looking out to sea.
“So, that was Mary’s ghost. Your greatest tragedy. I’m so sorry, Katherine. I know you blame yourself, but you were only a child. Your parents never should have left you and Mary alone by the ocean. They should have taken you along when they hurried to attend to your brother.”
Sweet words of redemption. Katherine had longed to hear them for more than a century. How she longed to believe them. How she hoped others would believe them so she wouldn’t have to carry the guilt another day, another hour. Another fucking minute.
You are an evil child. Mary would have never gone in the water without you. Now your mother can’t function, and I don’t know what to do. You will carry the shame of your sister’s death your whole life. It’s all your fault.
All her fault.
She should have died instead of Mary.
It would have made everyone happier. She could only imagine how much blacker her father’s hatred would have been if she’d had the courage to tell him she’d pressured her sister to join her.
Katherine was hiding under her bed when gunshots shattered the numbing silence of that big, sad house.
She flexed her fingers, overcome by the sharp memory of the dark crimson blood pooling on the hardwood floor. She gagged, remembering the awful coppery scent and the rawness of her screams as she covered her mother’s welling bullet hole with her palms. She looked at her hands, now seeing Mary’s pretty hair twisted in her fingers. Her ears ringing with her sister’s cries for help each time her head broke the surface of the waves.
Two memories colliding as she stared at her hands.
Hands responsible for not one, but three deaths. Sister, Mother, Father.
Katherine’s arms dropped bonelessly to her sides as she pushed her torments back into the shadows of her mind. She brought her attention back to the beautiful demon who was patiently waiting by the water’s edge. “Did you make her?” she whispered.
“The ghost?” Leviathan turned away from the ocean to gaze intently at Katherine. “No, I don’t waste my time with ghosts. But I can bring her back for real.”
Chapter 19
Leviathan was lying. Playing on Katherine’s deepest wound to create an artificial intimacy. “No one but God can resurrect humans.”
Leviathan’s eyes smiled. “Oh, but you’re wrong, Guardian.”
“Why would you do this?” They were supposed to be enemies. Supposed to kill one another. They were on opposite sides of the greatest dichotomy ever created. Good vs. evil.
Except nothing was ever truly black and white, was it?
“We are different sides of the same coin. Reviled and abandoned by the ones who were supposed to love us unconditionally.” Leviathan looked off into the low-slung gray clouds that pulsed with lightning, her face filled with such pain, such humanity.
“Most of the world never knew, but I was born a twin,” she continued. “I had a brother. Your leader Alexios killed him long ago, but the misogynistic pricks in history decided to write me off instead, whispering stories of the great and wicked Leviathan—male. Always male. That has forever burned me. God forbid a woman be more powerful or cunning than a man. Neither of us have done anything wrong, but still our fathers took out their disappointments on us.”
Katherine took a deep breath to clear the murkiness in her mind because what the hell was she supposed to do with all that? “Tell me more about Mary,” she demanded.
“You’re a good person, Katherine. I endeavor to be more like you.”
“I am only a Guardian because I am a relentless bitch. Tell me about Mary, or I’m leaving.”
Leviathan regarded her q
uietly. “Mary’s ghost appeared because, whether you realize it or not, your misery called to her. Just as it called to me.” When she paused, Katherine’s gaze returned to the water, not certain if she wanted to see the ghost again, or if she hoped it would never return.
“Together we can bring your sister back,” Leviathan continued, “but it requires use of Dark Arts. You’d have to keep Ari far from here because he’d detect its power almost immediately since he’s so fucking old.”
Katherine didn’t know much about Dark Arts other than they entailed surrendering yourself to Satan’s influence. A ball of lead formed in her gut. “If Mary really came back, how long would she stay, how old would she be, and would she be…mentally stable?”
“She’d be as you saw her ghost just now—nine—her age at time of death. You’d be responsible for her until she became an adult.”
Katherine’s legs began to tremble, her pulse to climb. The archdemon made it sound normal when it should be anything but. Was she supposed to sacrifice everything—her soul even—to atone for Mary’s death? “Would she remember everything?”
Leviathan folded her hands in front of her. “You wouldn’t want her to, would you?”
No. But that would be dishonest and cowardly. Still… “Can you have her remember only the good parts?”
“Yes.”
Do it. “You didn’t answer if her mind would be intact.”
“There might be some…glitches, but I’m confident she’d be fine.”
Glitches. That wasn’t comforting. Ari’s warnings filtered through her mind. “If I damn my soul by practicing Dark Arts to bring Mary back, what do you expect in return for helping me?”
Leviathan’s eyes glowed silver. “I want a companion of my own.”
Chapter 20
