by Toni Aleo
She shrugs. “See, I have a chance.”
That has all of us laughing, though Posey seems bored. She’s wearing worn, holey jeans and a big T-shirt, and her auburn hair is long and curled at the bottom. She has such beautiful seafoam eyes, but unlike her sister’s pixie looks, hers are softer, thicker. She’s built sorta like me, not as muscular but with wide shoulders and a thick bottom. I happen to think she’s beautiful, but I can tell she’s jealous of Shelli and Amelia. I can’t blame her, though; they are a lot to handle. When she meets my curious gaze, she perks her brow. “Don’t you think he’s cute?” I ask.
“Aiden? He’s all right.”
Shelli rolls her eyes. “Posey is too much of a guy to ever like one.”
“Fuck you,” Posey sneers, her eyes wild and full of anger. “Just ’cause I’m not out there trying to screw anything with a dick doesn’t mean I don’t like them. God, you’re such a bitch.”
With that, she gets up and stomps out of the room. Shelli rolls her eyes. “Overdramatic much? I think she’s on her period. She’s been really testy.”
“Well, you were a bitch to her,” Amelia says, and Shelli shrugs.
“I was just teasing her.”
The dynamic between the three of them, to me, makes it seem like Amelia and Shelli are more like sisters than Posey and Shelli. That’s kind of sad, but it isn’t really my problem. Neither is the next thing I’m about to ask, but I need to know. I have been worrying about Amelia since she told me about this crap with Drew. I need to know what Shelli thinks, and I was waiting for Posey to leave the room. “So—”
“Girls, dinner is ready,” Elli yells.
Shelli and Amelia get up, and I follow suit as Shelli asks, “What’s up?”
I glance between her and Amelia. “Did Amelia tell you about Drew?
Amelia’s eyes narrow as she glances at me. Shelli shakes her head. “Oh yeah.”
“And?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Amelia says, walking ahead of us, and when Shelli looks at me, I know it does.
“I’m taking care of it.”
“Oh good. I’m extremely worried.”
Shelli smiles. “Don’t be. She won’t go.”
“She won’t?”
“Nope, not after I do the only thing I can do,” she says, and my stomach drops at the sight of her determined gaze. Before I can ask what she might be planning, she says, “I wanted to thank you for being so good to her. We’re so close, it’s hard being so far away from each other. Knowing she has you, though, makes me happy. You seem great.”
Wow, that’s nice. “Yeah, I love her.”
“She’s great, kind of dumb sometimes, but then aren’t we all when it comes to guys?”
Um…no. I grin at her anyway. “I guess.”
“Ryan seems very much into you.”
We head through the hall that is covered in photos of all the Adler kids growing up. They were lovely babies and are even more adorable now. The twins are trouble, though. Evan hit on me the moment I stepped through the door. I’ve never seen Ryan mean mug a kid, and I have to say it was pretty funny.
I pull my gaze from the photos and nod. “He’s really awesome.”
“He’s the best. The pillar of our family. He keeps us all in line.”
“I can see that.”
“I like you. A lot. So don’t hurt him, okay?”
I shake my head so hard, I’m sure I almost break my neck. “Oh, never.”
She winks at me. “Good, ’cause we have hockey sticks, and we know how to use them.”
She walks away, a grin on her face like she didn’t just threaten someone she’s only just met and two seconds ago said she liked. While these people are welcoming, they also have a violent side that scares the shit out of me.
When a thick arm snakes around my waist, I look up to see Ryan grinning down at me. “Hey there, beautiful.”
I cover his hand with mine at my waist. “Hey, you.”
“Ready to eat?”
While I’d rather devour him, I nod. “I am. Also, your cousin just threatened me.”
He scoffs, shaking his head. “They’re all insane.”
He wasn’t lying. But then, I think the best people are a little nutty.
Soon we’re all sitting around the large table in the middle of an even larger dining room. I’ve never seen a house so big. I’m pretty sure there are a billion rooms, and they’re all decorated so extravagantly. I feel like I’ve stepped into a house designed by someone on one of those TV design shows. It’s stunning. A huge chandelier hangs above us, but instead of being made of crystal like I would assume, it’s large candles with a wrought-iron base. The walls are a soft, pale yellow, and large black-and-white photos cover the walls.
When my gaze lands on a photo of Ryan and Amelia with their parents, my heart stops in my chest. They look happy and carefree. They’re all so close in the photo, beautiful expressions on their faces. Ryan wasn’t joking when he said he grew up here. As many pictures as there are of the Adler kids, there are just as many of Amelia and Ryan. It’s sweet, and I’m jealous of that. I grew up with just my mom, and while she is the greatest mom ever, sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be in a family like this.
Would things have been different for me?
Would I have been a normal girl?
But then, would I have Ryan?
As Elli says grace, I glance around at everyone. They’re all deep in prayer, and I feel bad not to be as focused, but I’m mesmerized by them and everything around me. The table is made of old wood, and instead of chairs, we sit on benches. The table is loaded with food, all kinds of down-home fixings that, even though I may not be familiar with, my mouth is watering at the sight of them. I can’t believe I’m here, and when I look at Ryan, his head bowed, his eyes closed as his lips move, I can’t believe he is mine.
How’d I get so lucky?
“And, Lord, thank you so much for allowing us to have Sofia with us today. We are so blessed and thankful that you continue to bring people into our lives who make us better. Please ease her mama’s concerns and know we are taking good care of her. In your name, we pray. Amen.”
When everyone repeats the last word, I’m in awe. These people are so kind, so welcoming. They don’t know me from Adam, but they pray for me? When Elli looks to me, she holds out the potatoes, and I take them. “Thank you,” I say, and she grins.
“You sure are welcome. Goodness me, Ryan, she’s stunning!” Her thick accent drips over me like honey, leaving me a little shy.
Ryan, he eats it up. Leaning into me, he kisses my cheek. “I tell her that every day.”
“That’s my boy,” Shea says with a wink just as he takes Elli’s hand. “You gotta tell them every day how beautiful they are. Don’t ever want them to forget.”
“Gag, get a room,” Posey complains, and the boys all join in.
“Yeah, young eyes.”
“So gross.”
“Why do you guys always touch each other? Ew.”
“I think it’s beautiful,” Shelli says, and Elli beams over to her. “#RelationshipGoals, for sure.”
She’s right; they are goals. I’ve only been here a few hours, but it’s obvious they are still in love. I’ve never seen a couple so close. They’re always looking at each other, touching each other, and Shea, he just can’t get enough of his wife. I swear I’ve seen him grab her ass at least six times, and they have five kids, one of whom is almost a legal adult! It’s beautiful. When we got here, they were dancing like no one was there, and I just wanted to watch them. Even when the music stopped, they didn’t. It was as if no one existed but them. It reminds me of how Ryan and I are.
Wait? Does he love me?
No. That’s insane.
I glance down at Ryan’s hand holding my thigh, his thumb stroking the fabric of my leggings while he stuffs his mouth like it’s his last meal. He’s always touching me. Even when we run, he reaches out and touches my shorts or my hand. He also g
rabs my butt all the damn time. And my breasts.
But that’s just lust.
I sigh nervously, and Ryan peeks over to me. “You okay?”
I blink. How in the hell did he hear that? It’s loud as hell in here. Everyone is talking, the twins are arguing over some orange goop with marshmallows, and Shelli and Amelia are yelling about some new makeup. Posey is bored, and Quinn is bitching for more turkey. And yet, Ryan heard my sigh. I nod. “Fine.”
He gives me a sweet smile, and it reaches his eyes, making it even harder to breathe. “They’re all insane.”
My lips curve up into a bright smile. “I love it.”
“You fit here so well.”
He goes back to eating, and I just stare at him. No, I’m losing my damn mind. There is no way he can love me. We haven’t even had sex. You need sex to love someone, don’t you? As I stare at his profile, watching his jaw move as he inhales the orange goop everyone is talking about, my heart swells in my chest. It hurts and shit. Do I love him?
“Sofia, honey,” Mrs. Justice says, pulling my attention from Ryan. “I assumed you’d go home for holidays.”
A sad smile covers my lips. “I wanted to, but it didn’t work out.”
Shea holds up his fork at me. “Why not? I’m sure you miss home, your parents.”
I meet his inquisitive gaze, and I smile sweetly. “It’s just me and my mom, and I miss her terribly. But it’s team rules that we work out over the holidays if we go home. I didn’t have a gym back home to train in.”
“Yeah, she has this awesome sponsor, but they wouldn’t approve a weekend trip,” Ryan adds. “Kind of pisses me off, and she won’t take my money.”
I give him an annoyed look, but Mrs. Justice is staring at me. “Did you ask for a weekend trip? I don’t understand why they wouldn’t approve that.”
“I did, but they said no, that they would only send me for all of break.”
Mrs. Justice’s face twists in confusion. “Well, that’s bullshit.”
“That’s what I said,” Ryan said, and when I glance back at his mom, her brow is furrowed and her lips are pressed together. I’m a little surprised she’s upset by this. Why does she care? “But it’s cool. She’s gonna spend it with us,” he adds and then leans in for a kiss. I press my lips to his, not the least bit shy, and that shocks me. I’m usually so reserved, but I can’t be when he offers me those lips I love. I feel safe here, I feel at home, and I think because of Ryan, I’m comfortable here.
Dinner is going perfectly. Shea is funny and fills the room with his laughter as they reminisce about the kids being little. Elli looks at her husband as if he holds the world in his hands, and I guess, for her, he does. My heart does hurt for Mrs. Justice, though. She hasn’t said much, she only listens, but I can see the pain on her face. She misses her husband, but I think the whole family misses him.
“So, Mom,” Shelli says then, bringing the attention to her. “I have a question.”
“Of course.”
Shelli clears her throat, leaning back in her chair as she holds a roll in her hands. “Would Dad ever ask you to give up your dreams?”
Amelia’s fork stops midway to her mouth.
My eyes widen as my heart stops.
Here? Now?
Oh fuck.
I should stop her, but before I can, Elli is laughing. “Never, Daddy and I always helped one another live their dreams,” Elli says, giving Shea a sweet smile. “Neither of us is better than the other, so we focus on both of our goals as a whole.”
Shelli nods. Wow, what a beautiful answer. Shelli wasn’t kidding; they are relationship goals.
“Cool, so Aunt Grace, Uncle James was like that too, right? He pushed you to make your business a success?” Shelli asks then.
Mrs. Justice looks up from her food, a small and painful grin on her face as she nods. “James’s main concern was for me to succeed. He sometimes put his own dreams aside for me. That’s a real man right there.”
Elli nods. “Preach, sister. Your daddy’s done that plenty. While I ran the team, he stayed home with y’all.”
“And the gray hair is evidence of that,” Shea includes, and everyone laughs. I happen to think he’s sexy with that gray hair, not that I’d ever tell Ryan that.
“That’s what I thought,” Shelli says softly, her eyes meeting Amelia’s across the table. “So, I guess, Amelia, tell me again how Drew is doing what any man would do?”
Ryan is eating, not even the least bit aware Shelli is about to drop one hell of a bomb.
Amelia’s lips press together as the adults all look to her.
“What?” Mrs. Justice asks, but Amelia shakes her head.
“Nothing. It’s nothing. Shelli is being dumb.”
Shelli glares. “No, actually, I’m not.”
“Shelli, shut up.”
“No, explain it to me.”
“Why are you doing this? You’re my best friend.”
“You’re damn right, I am,” she throws back at her. “But you are being an idiot and not listening to reason. To the truth.”
“Girls, what the hell is going on?” Mrs. Justice says, and Elli sits back in her chair to wait for the answer.
“Shelli, what are you talking about?”
“It isn’t your business,” Amelia says through gritted teeth.
Shelli doesn’t seem to give two shits about that. “Well, since Amelia won’t say it, and she sure won’t listen to me, maybe y’all can help.”
“Oh shit,” I mutter, and Ryan glances over at me.
With his mouth full, he asks, “You good?”
He notices me but not the shitshow that is about to go down at the table?
I nod, though my eyes are wide as I watch Amelia put her fork down.
“Shut up, Shelli.”
“Well, Amelia informed me that Drew has asked her to come to Philly.”
Mrs. Justice’s brows shoot up as Shea asks, “Who’s Drew?”
“Amelia’s ex-boyfriend,” Elli says quickly, waving him off. “Come to Philly? What do you mean?”
“Amelia?” Mrs. Justice asks, but Amelia doesn’t answer, her eyes still narrowed on Shelli.
“I am going to kill you.”
But Shelli ignores her. “He wants her to move there, leave school behind, and marry him since he’s been called up to the Flyers. He wants her to be his little housewife. And here’s the kicker, she’s considering it.”
Finally, Ryan looks up.
A long silence descends on the table as Amelia’s face twists with anger. “You bitch.”
“Is this a joke?” Mrs. Justice asks, and Amelia looks to her.
Mrs. Justice focuses on her daughter, and Amelia holds out her hands. “But, Mom, I love him—”
“I don’t care! You aren’t throwing away everything you’ve worked for for a boy!” Mrs. Justice yells, her eyes crazy. “Are you insane?”
“Did you hit your head on the beam, Amelia? This isn’t happening,” Shea roars, and Amelia throws her hands up.
“I love him, and he loves me. We want to be together.”
“Amelia, honey, no. This isn’t love. If he loved you, he wouldn’t ask this of you. You are doing great things. Why would you want to leave that?” Elli asks, way more calmly than Shea and Mrs. Justice. “This isn’t who you are. You didn’t work so hard just to throw it away.”
“I can make my own decisions. I am an adult.”
“You’re a child,” Mrs. Justice insists. “If you were an adult, you would know this is absurd! He doesn’t love you. He just wants to get into your pants.”
“Mom, you don’t understand. I love him so much, and I want to be with him.”
“No, you aren’t ruining your life!” her mom yells, and everyone else falls quiet.
“We will not allow you to make such a stupid decision. This is not who you are!” Shea roars, and I see Quinn slide lower in his seat. “I can’t believe this is even an option for you. Your dad would lose his mind if he were here.�
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“Amelia, love, darling, no,” Elli says, reaching for Amelia’s hand, but Amelia crosses her arms, shaking her head. “Amelia, this isn’t smart. Not for either of you. You will end up hating him, and you guys won’t last.”
“But I love him!”
“Who the fuck cares?” Mrs. Justice shouts, her eyes wide and angry. “No, you’re not going.” By the time she looks at Ryan, my eyes are about to pop out of my head. “Ryan, do you hear this? Say something, please.”
He just shrugs. “No.”
“No?” Mrs. Justice screeches. “What do you mean, no? You support this? What the hell did I do wrong—”
“She isn’t doing it,” he says simply, leaning back in his chair. His eyes burn into Amelia’s as tears roll down her face. “And if you try, I’ll go after you.”
Amelia glares. “Ryan, I love him—”
“I don’t care. You heard what Mom, Shea, and Elli have said. I know you’ve heard it from her.” Ryan points to Shelli, who is beside me, but Amelia thinks he’s pointing at me.
Throwing her napkin down, she glares. “You told him?”
I shake my head. “No! Not me.”
Ryan looks at me, his face turning from pissed to confused back to pissed. “No, not Sof. Shelli. Wait, you knew about this?”
I hold up my hands. “I did, but—”
“It doesn’t matter,” Amelia complains, standing up. “I am a grown woman. I can make my own decisions.”
“You’re a fucking kid who thinks this is love!” Ryan yells back, standing up and holding his finger out at her. “This dude doesn’t love you, Amelia. If he did, he’d never in a million years ask you to follow him. Never. I know.” When he slams his fist into his chest, I have to look away. “Look at Sofia and me, for example. I will go into the NHL, and she’ll be here, working her ass off and getting what she wants from life. I would never ask her to come with me. I know she has dreams and things to do. Drew knows this too, but he doesn’t care because he’s a selfish bastard.”
I watch him, his eyes so wild and with such passion on his face. It does nothing but make my heart swell. I want so badly for this to work, for us to stay together when he leaves, but I don’t know how hard that will be. It’s tough now sometimes, and we still see each other every chance we get. What will I do when he’s gone, gone?