Ronnie kept her grip on Amy's chin light as she moved in closer. “What if I want you to kiss me again?”
Amy's eyes glazed over, and her mouth opened slightly as she looked down again. “But you pushed me away.”
Ronnie shrugged, letting go of Amy's hand and moving it up to caress her cheek. “You startled me.”
Amy sank in to the touch, locking eyes with Ronnie before taking a deep breath and leaning in.
This time, Ronnie was ready, and she pressed back into the kiss. Amy moved Ronnie closer to her, putting a hand on her hip and weaving the other in her hair. She darted her tongue out and licked Ronnie's lips open. Ronnie let out a small sound as her tongue met Amy's, the astringent taste of all the alcohol Amy and she had consumed coating Ronnie's taste buds.
Ronnie kept her hands on Amy's face for several seconds before moving them lower, cautiously drawing her fingers over Amy's shoulders and back as Amy pulled her onto her lap. Amy moved the hand that was in Ronnie's hair down to her bottom, squeezing it lightly before putting her hand under the hem of Ronnie's shirt.
Amy pulled away and dropped a kiss on Ronnie's jawline before moving down to drop kisses on her neck. “Is this okay?” she asked, rubbing her thumb in circles on Ronnie's hip. She leaned up and kissed her again.
Ronnie nodded, pulling Amy into another hard kiss as she felt a surge of heat between her legs. “This is more than okay.”
Amy smiled into the kiss. “Good. I'm glad.” She pecked Ronnie before wiggling her hips, moving Ronnie off her lap. “I think it is best, then, if we move this upstairs.”
14
Ronnie startled awake, a heavy pressure on her hip. She glanced down to see a small hand with perfectly groomed bright-red nails resting on her bare skin. She stared at it in confusion for several seconds, blinking sleepily as she tried to figure out what exactly was going on.
When the memories of the night before came rushing back, it took all of Ronnie’s willpower to stay still and not bolt from the bed in shock. She felt like she couldn’t breathe, and her heart was beating so ferociously in her chest that she thought the pulsating would wake Amy up for sure.
As the seconds ticked by, Ronnie’s shock began to ebb away, changing into something that was more primal. She closed her eyes and forced herself to take a deep deep breaths. She was quickly getting lightheaded, although she wasn't sure whether it was from how still she was trying to be or from how electrifying the feeling of Amy's bare chest felt against her back. No matter how deeply she tried to arch her back away, every time Amy took a breath, Ronnie could feel her pert nipples tickling her between her shoulder blades, her soft skin like silk against Ronnie's.
God, it felt nice.
Ronnie opened her eyes and bit her lip. She gently picked up Amy's hand and rolled out from under it, putting her hand down on the pillow and getting off the bed. She tried to keep the blankets covering as much as Amy’s body as she could－the chill of the room was enough to make an Eskimo freeze, and she didn’t want Amy to feel uncomfortable when she woke later on in the day.
Ronnie pulled on the shirt and sweatpants that Amy had given her, taking a moment to breath in the smell of Amy’s shampoo that was still lingering in the fabric. She grabbed her tennis shoes and went to the door, turning to look over her shoulder before leaving the room. She shut the door gently and went down the hall, making sure to skip the squeaky stair halfway down so Amy wouldn't wake. She sat down on the couch and pulled on her tennis shoes slowly, a wave of sadness washing over her as she prepared herself to leave.
Ronnie got off the couch and picked up Reagan, shushing the cat and petting her while she searched for her keys on the entry way table. Reagan started to squirm, but she settled down when Ronnie opened the front door, the chilly night air calming her. She stayed calm all the way down to the car, falling asleep almost immediately on the front seat.
Ronnie began to drive home mindlessly, and before she knew it, she was turning onto her street.
A glimpse into one of the parking lots of the apartment complex send a wave of panic over Ronnie. She slammed on her breaks and looked around, her anxiety multiplying as she pictured someone slammed into the back of the car. Fortunately, the road was silent. She glanced at the clock to see that it was barely two o'clock in the morning, so she moved further over onto the side of the road and put her car into park. She slouched down in her seat and tapped her fingers on the steering wheel, chewing on her bottom lip.
Several minutes went by before Ronnie sat back up and put the car in drive. She contemplated going and finding a motel to stay at in case Kenny hadn't taken her seriously, but she doubted that any of the motels near her were open this late at night for check-ins. If she really had to, she could always sleep in her car for the remainder of the night. Hopefully, though, Kenny had listened to what Ronnie had said, and had left the apartment without argument.
With that thought in mind, Ronnie crept down the street and pulled into their parking lot. She felt a weight lift off her shoulders when she saw that Kenny's car was not there. It may be in another lot, but for the time being, she could breathe easy. She parked and closed her eyes and took a deep breath before taking her hand off the keys. “Are you ready to go home?” she asked Reagan, reaching over and scratching her behind the ears. Reagan let out a quiet meow and stretched out, hew claws popping out as she keened her head back and looked up at the building. Ronnie pulled her keys from the ignition and grabbed her purse, opening the door and letting Reagan jump out ahead of her before getting out.
She spun her key-ring around her index finger and walked up to her apartment.. She unlocked the door and pushed it open slowly, letting out a sigh of relief when she saw that the apartment was dark. Her stomach twisted in a combination of joy and disappointment when she turned on the light and saw that all of Kenny's things were gone. The coat rack was bare, his pictures were gone from the wall, and his prized collection of medals that he had gotten for his service as a police officer was absent from the china cabinet in the corner of the living room.
All Ronnie wanted to do was go back to sleep.
***
Ronnie woke up several hours later, her bed feeling cold and unwelcome as she rolled over onto her side. Her eyes were swollen and achy, and her stomach was growling loudly. She pushed the palms of her hands against her eyes and took a deep breath before pushing the covers back and getting out of bed. She slid her slippers on and looked at the alarm clock next to the bed, surprised that it was almost three in the afternoon.
When Ronnie reached the living room, she heard a strange noise at the front door. She stared at the door for a moment before remembering that she had let Reagan out when she had gotten back to the apartment. She went over and opened the door, moving to the side when she heard a low growl. Reagan immediately ran inside, tripping over something in the doorway and letting out an angry hiss.
Ronnie looked down to see a large bouquet of flowers sitting on her welcome mat. She crouched down and pulled out the card, unsurprised to see that the flowers were from Kenny, and that the card was his apology. Ronnie rolled her eyes and took the flowers to the laundry room at the end of the hall to throw them away.
Once Ronnie was back in her apartment, she went to her kitchen. She opened up her pantry and pulled out a container of ground coffee, taking it over to her coffee maker and starting a pot. When it was finished, Ronnie took the mug over to her couch and sat down. She stared into space while she drank, her mind whirring.
No matter how many times she tried to steer her mind away from Amy, she couldn’t stop coming back to the other woman. She desperately wanted to go right back over to Amy’s house and explore their relationship further, but it didn’t seem fair to Amy for Ronnie to jump straight from being with Kenny to being with her. Besides, she didn’t even know for sure how far she wanted to go with Amy. Sure, she was ridiculously attracted to her, she could admit that herself now, but did she really want to go further than a strictly-physical relati
onship with her best friend?
Ronnie put her fist up to her mouth and bit her index finger. God, she didn’t know what to do.
She shook her head and went back into her kitchen. She went over to where she had tossed her phone when she had gotten home, hesitating before unlocking the home screen. The battery symbol immediately popped up, so Ronnie took her phone over to the charger by the refrigerator and plugged it in. She stared at it for a moment before going to her bedroom. Amy’s clothes were starting to feel like they were suffocating her, so she changed into her softest pair of sweatpants and her favorite pair of fuzzy socks to comfort her.
Ronnie made her way back to the kitchen, wincing when she realized that the way that the phone was vibrating wasn’t going to end any time soon. She went over to the fridge and pulled out the things she needed to make hot chocolate while she waited for the buzzing to stop.
When the phone was finally still, Ronnie unlocked the home screen. Immediately, she was assaulted with dozens of missed calls and texts, both from Kenny and from Amy. She swiped the calls and texts from Amy's name off the screen, letting a breath out through her nose when she saw the number next to the messages change. She swiped Kenny's calls off and went to his messages, starting to swipe them off before deciding she was worth an explanation.
[Received 03/11/2020. 14:36. From: Kenny] Please come home so we can talk about this, I told Carrie to leave. Please.
[Received 03/11/2020. 15:05. From: Kenny] I love you. I am so sorry. I swear it wont happen again.
Missed call: 15:26
Missed call: 15:47
[Received 03/11/2020. 15:53. From: Kenny] Please call me.
[Received 03/11/2020. 16:28. From: Kenny] I'm so so so so sorry.
[Received 03/11/2020. 17:03. From: Kenny] I love you so much.
Missed call: 20:04
Missed call: 20:48
After that, though, Kenny's messages went from apologetic to angry.
[Received 03/11/2020. 19:23. From: Kenny] I bet you're at Amy's, aren't you.
[Received 03/11/2020. 20:56. From: Kenny] You know, I started sleeping with Carrie in the first place because of how distant you started acting. It was bad before but it's been 10000x worse since you met her.
[Received 03/11/2020. 21:24. From: Kenny]. Hell, I've been wondering if YOU’VE been cheating on ME with her. It's obvious how you look at her that you want to sleep with her. I'm not stupid.
Ronnie's brows furrowed as she read Kenny's messages. He wasn't being fair. He was the one in the wrong here, not her. What right did he have to comment on Ronnie's feelings? She was having a hard enough time as it was without Kenny trying to make her feel bad.
Ronnie felt sick to her stomach. She exited the conversation and ran her hand over her face, letting out a long breath when she caught on Amy’s name. The number by the woman’s name showed that she had already sent Ronnie a few messages, but the thought of opening the messages made Ronnie feel even more sick.
Ronnie clicked the phone on and off several times before going to her call log and finding Laci’s name.
The phone rang twice before Laci answered. “Hello?” she said, her breathing coming out in short pants.
Ronnie raised an eyebrow and slid down onto the floor, raising her thumb to her mouth and chewing on her nail. “Did I catch you at a bad time?”
“No.” Laci’s voice was starting to sound more normal. “Bethany convinced me to do a workout video with her. I swear this girl is trying to kill me.” Bethany started laughing loudly in the background. Laci shushed her and made a flirty comment to her before turning her attention back to the phone call. “What do you need?”
“I had a really bad night and I just need someone to talk to. Can you come over? Bethany can come, too. I just . . . I need you here.”
“Yeah, of course I can. Bethany has to be at work in an hour but I will be right over. Do you need me to pick up anything?”
“No. Just get here as soon as you can, okay?”
“Okay. I’ll see you soon.”
“Bye.” Ronnie hung up her phone and lowered it to her lap, staring at the black screen for a moment before getting up and going over to her freezer, tossing her phone on to the counter. She found a frozen pasta that she liked and put it in the oven, turning it on before going back over and pulling out a carton of chocolate ice cream. She grabbed a scoop and pulled down her blender. She dumped her hot chocolate in and added the ice cream, putting in enough to fill two large glasses completely.
By the time the shakes were finished and the oven was preheated, there was a knock on the front door. Ronnie took the shakes into the living room and put them on the coffee table before going over and answering.
“You look like crap,” Laci told Ronnie, crossing her arms over her chest and twirling a light-blue strand of hair around her finger as she looked at Ronnie’s penguin-covered pajama pants and worn-out tee shirt.
Ronnie shrugged, not really finding it in herself to care “Right back at you.” Laci's blue-and-blonde hair was standing up at all angles and her cheeks were flushed so red they were nearly purple. She was in a baggy pair of sweats and had a stained tank-top under a jacket that was so old it barely zipped.
Laci stuck out her tongue and walked in to the apartment, her eyes widening as she looked around. “Whoa, what happened here?” She waved her hand at the empty spaces on the walls and on the shelves.
Ronnie nodded her head toward the couch. They both sat down, and Ronnie handed Laci one of the milkshakes before pulling her legs up under herself. “Well, when I got home yesterday, I thought Kenny was watching porn in the bedroom, so I went in to surprise him. Turns out, he was screwing his boss.”
Laci, who had just taken a sip of her milkshake, choked and covered her mouth. “The redhead? The real snobby one?”
Ronnie nodded. “Yep.” She looked down at her lap. “I asked him how long it had been going on, and when he didn't answer, Carrie told me that they had been sleeping together for over a year.”
Laci's eyes went wide. “Wow.”
“Yeah. I gave him back my ring and told him I wanted him out by the end of the night.” She put her shake back on the coffee table before leaning forward, putting her elbows on her legs and lacing her fingers between her knees. “Also, I had sex with Amy last night.”
Laci choked on her milkshake again. “Jesus. Do you have any more secrets to spill before I drink any more of this or are you purposely trying to kill me?”
“Sorry.” Ronnie shook her head shamefully. “Nope. That's it.”
Laci hesitantly took a sip before putting her glass on the table next to Ronnie's. “So how did that happen? Did you just decide to go over and act on your feelings or what?”
Ronnie shook her head again, lifting her hand up to her mouth and chewing on her thumbnail. “I didn't know where else to go. I just didn't want to be home with Kenny and Carrie.”
“You could have come to me!”
“Lace, you were still at work.”
Laci raised her hand, holding her index finger up. “Point. Continue.”
Ronnie grabbed her milkshake and took a sip before continuing. “My head was still hurting so Amy let me use her shower and borrow some clothes－”
“Oo la la.” Laci smirked.
Ronnie rolled her eyes. “She ordered pizza while I was in the shower, we ate that and we drank a few bottles of wine and some Smirnoff Ices.”
“Wait, where were the kids?”
“They were with their uncle. Anyway, she made me my favorite cookies and I almost kissed her, then once we got drunk we somehow ended up having sex.” Ronnie bit her lip. “I left before she woke up this morning.”
Laci's eyebrows shot up. “Ronnie, you should have stayed and talked to her about it! I'm not stupid, I know you're crazy about her. It's been obvious for weeks now.”
Ronnie leaned against the arm of the couch. “Yeah, apparently Kenny thought so, too.”
“What do you mean?”
&
nbsp; Ronnie grabbed her phone off the end table and unlocked the screen, ignoring the new message from Amy as she tossed Laci the phone. “Read his messages.”
Laci caught the phone and read through the messages. She clicked something on the screen, her eyes going wide as she looked back up at Ronnie. “You should really read some of these messages from Amy. She’s sent you a bunch..” Ronnie shook her head. “Ronnie, she thinks she ruined your friendship.”
Ronnie slid down further in her seat, her stomach turning. “Laci, I don't know what to do. I like Amy a lot, but Kenny and I just broke up, and I've never been with a girl before.” She put her face in her hands. “I'm still not sure how I feel about kicking Kenny out. I'm not as upset over it as I thought I'd be.”
“Can I be honest with you?”
“Yes, please.”
Laci took a few sips of her shake before looking back at Ronnie. “I've known you for years, since before you met Kenny, and I've never seen you nearly as excited over someone as you have been over Amy.” She tapped her fingers against the arm of the couch. “I may be completely wrong with this, but I think part of why you said yes to him was because of the pressure your mom puts on you. I know you love him, but I don't think you're in love with him. You haven’t gotten excited about the wedding, you haven't picked a date . . . have you done any of the planning at all or has everything been your mom?”
“All her.” Ronnie rubbed her eyes. “I forgot about her. She's going to have a field day when she hears we split up.”
“Don't think about that right now. Just talk to Amy, it's not complicated. I'm sure she will understand if you want to take things slow. She's been married before, remember? She will understand if you need to find your footing on your own before you can be with someone else. As to having never been with a girl, honey, just take it a step at a time. You want to be with her, be with her. It's as easy as that.” Laci glanced down at her watch. “Listen, there's a Family Feud marathon about to start. Let's just forget your girl problems and watch that, okay? Everything is going to be fine, you'll see.”
In Her Hands Page 10
